A typing?

[Red Memories]

So, when I was a teenager, I mostly got ESFJ-ENFJ on my MBTI results. Now, I have been consistently receiving ISTJ-INTJ (I know the S-N is odd but I always seem to be very borderline S or N, though I feel I am probably an S.)

So I will try to give you a sort of basis of how I am with things, and see if you can help me decide where I belong in the scope of things. Feel free to ask me questions.

People:
When I was younger, I did not have a lot of social experience so I was lonely, so when I saw people I got very excited and in their face. As I have had the ability to actually socialize, I have found solitude more comforting. If you come talk to me, I will talk to you, but it will be small talk. Unless you get me on a day I am really stressed out, then I might freak you out by telling you my life history.
If you tell me an emotional problem, I will have two instincts.
If I acknowledge you are completely irrational, I will say I am sorry and hope you feel better. I may give you a hug.
If it is a problem I see a fix to, I will offer you advice.
If you find an excuse to not take my advice, I will get extremely frustrated with you.
If you ignore my advice, I will get frustrated as well.
This frustration will make me want to punch you in the face. Per say, I prefer when people do what I suggest they do.
I have low self-esteem, but have a superiority complex still. that sounds weird but the reality is my mind is "I suck, but I suck less than you do."
I don't really accept advice from people unless we are close or you have higher education credentials than me.
When I hang out with people, I feel a need to be alone for a while. Especially if the interaction was emotionally charged.
I get very upset if people are rude to me or generally show a dislike for me, or ignore my existence.
I like it when people trust me with their problems, emotions, and darker side. I do not like shallow relationships or a lot of small talk. I mean, I can small talk but don't expect us to be best friends if that is ALL we ever do.
I often get remarks that I appear unpassionate about things unless I am interested in them. If you tell me about a video game I have never played, I might switch the topic rather than listen to you. I know it is rude and I am working on it, but it comes kinda naturally to me. I don't connect with your interests unless I share an interest.

Daily Life:
The first thing you should know about me right now is I live in chaotic organization. That means everything is everywhere but I know exactly where it is. I have every outline in my head, I just don't tend to physically write it down. I am the most disorganized organized person you will ever meet.
As a teen, there was a time I made a schedule for what I ate on what days for lunch. and I stuck to that schedule, without getting sick of the same foods. you heard that correctly. I am a bit of a control freak. I like things done my way, or the way I was taught to be that way. I have a system for the things that I do, and I do not change it up usually, unless someone else does the thing I normally do, then I improvise.
Improvise IS NOT something that comes naturally to me. I like systems, rules, and expectations. I like predictability. I like organization. I dislike change. I cannot stand if I have been doing something the same way for months and suddenly someone suggests some new way to do it when the original way works JUST FINE.
I prefer to live in my own world, and allow a minimal amount of people into my world. If I let someone into my world and they betray me, I become very bitter and hurt, and I never forget the incident. 3 years later I will cry over this... (looking at that person mentally.)
I have things I have to do every day and I keep that routine. If you give me another priority outside of it and I do not take note that this will be added to my list of priorities, I will...forget to do it... and then be very upset with myself for forgetting to do my task. I take my responsibilities seriously.
I actually like learning. Homework isn't as boring to me as it may be for some people. I like reading fictional books that make you think about life and the way you live, rather than merely for entertainment. I struggle to enjoy books that are solely entertaining. I want a book to rip me up and make me see life differently when I look outside.
I am a worst case scenario maker. For instance, I mentioned my stage fright comes from an image of someone will probably boo me, tell me to shut up, or literally toss tomatoes at me. So I prefer to perform without an audience.
I do have diagnosed depression and anxiety. I don't know if this affects my results at all but it may.
I love music. I really get into trying to find deeper meanings and analysis of song lyrics. I also write a lot in my free time. lyrics and stories alike. However, I rarely finish my stories. My artistic projects always seem a bit half finished, and I always feel stressed I am not finishing them but I never finish them. that seems completely illogical...
I don't know how much this will say, but in high school my better subjects were math related. I was very good with algebra, consumer math, and accounting. I could do subjects like English well but it took a lot more effort, and I struggled with poetry because it expected me to read between the lines.
I often think about the future, and often freak myself out thinking about the future. I also often live in the past. I think it is rare I am actually in the present.
Again, I lack self-confidence, so I doubt my abilities often although I do have talents I am sure. I just don't see myself as spectacular.
I think I tend to talk too much, or at least, talk about myself and my own interests too much.
I am very indecisive. It isn't I cannot think of things to do, it is I cannot think of things to do without second guessing the things we could do which ultimately makes me say "what do you prefer" although it doesn't always make me happy to sacrifice my control of the situation.
Some would identify me as a control freak. particularly my mother. XD and myself...
I prefer to control situations, and usually the best way to do that is be by myself where I can control the situation regardless.
I tend to insert logic where people are having heated discussions and ultimately piss people off, get stressed out by the drama and react in an angry manner and we all start a flame war... XD
I tend to be impulsive if my emotions are high.
I have trouble coping with very strong emotions.
I tend to get emotional easily.
I prefer to have facts and real hard evidence when it comes to things. However, I am extremely loyal to those I care for, so even if they are in the wrong, I will probably defend them. except the rare occasion where there is no denying they did something wrong in the scenario, then I will send them a mom-like lecture on being a mature person and not being an idiot.

will probably add some of the questionaire answers below...

 

[Red Memories]

1-what makes you angry?; When people don't listen to me. Irrational thinking, even from myself. Laziness. Dishonesty.
2-what do you like/dislike most about people?: I feel most people are shallow and dishonest, and talk to you for their own gain rather than a real relationship with someone. I enjoy people when they are honest, dedicated, and loyal though.
3-do you like animals? why?: Yes. I like animals. They often remain loyal to you and have special personalities. Plus it gives me something to do.
4-what do you like most about the favorite people in your life?: They are kind, honest, and allow themselves into my world. It is hard for me to go outside of my box and I appreciate people who are patient about that.
5-what do you like/dislike most about yourself?: I dislike my anxiety. I tend to be irrational and impulsive with my emotions due to those kind of things and it upsets me. I always regret my rash reactions later.
6-do you care about being fashionable? why/why not?: I care about being fashionable in my own eyes, not societies. I feel like I can be free with my fashion sense and it is an art form.
7-do you prefer to fit in or stand out?: I rather stand out.
8-what activities do you enjoy?: writing, singing, reading, window shopping.
9-what makes you feel secure?: Things being "the same". Being able to keep to my routines without much change and unpredictability.
10-do you like being in a relationship? why/why not?: Um. I mean. I would like it, but I also wouldn't like it. I get lonely but I am bad at the compromise part of relationships I think...
11-what do you love and why? Could be people, things, places, etc...: I mean, I really love this guy named Samuel Larsen...fangirl side is showing. okay in reality I get very emotionally attached to people who cannot frankly get attached to me so. XD Including my own story characters.
12-what do you spend the most time thinking about?: I would say I spend a majority of my time trying to sort out the future and who I really am, and who I am in someone else's eyes, and why people do the things they do.
13-How much have you changed over the years? Who were you as a child? : I think I have changed a LOT. As a youngster I cared so much about what other people think and felt having few friends meant I sucked. Now I just don't care. I find comfort in solitude. I enjoy things I once did not enjoy because it wasn't "social". I've become a lot more introverted than I used to be. I was once an open book with everyone but now I am a very closed book that can be difficult to open if I doubt you for any reason.

 

[Red Memories]

1. if you could have one mythical creature as a pet, what would it be?: a unipegasus. yes I realize this is not the right terminology for a pegasus with a horn, but it is what I have called it since I was a child.
2. What do you want to be when you grow up? (yes, written by a 26 year old ): Something where I can improve a situation.
3. If you were a fruit or vegetable, what fruit or vegetable would you be?: Probably a banana. bright and colorful but dies out easily after too much sunlight. XD
4. What is your favorite beverage?: Soda... 2 liters a day soda...
5. You're having a cookout... what do you make?: STEAK
6. What's the most recent cool thing you've learned?: I can write 3,000 words in about an hour? XD
7. What portrayal of the future do you like the best?: Something where people start actually showing love to each other?
8. You're on death row... what's your last meal?: STEAK

 

[Red Memories]

1. How do you respond to clingy people?: I usually show them love because people are clingy for a reason usually. I MAY be more sympathetic because sometimes I can be clingy.
2. If you could change the ocean to any color, what would that color be?: Purple. it is more enchanting.
3. Would you consider living in the nude for a period of time (a month)?:No. Nudity is immodest and uncomfortable.
4. When you are romantically interested in an individual, how do you generally act (shy, outgoing, annoying, etc.)?: I stare at you from afar and tell everyone how beautiful you are except for you, and vent how I cannot compentently speak to a cute person. when I actually talk to you it is the most horridly awkward thing you will ever see. I am like the living impersonation of the Josh and Mindy "do you like spoons?" conversation from Drake and Josh.
5. Have you ever gone skinny dipping? If so, how was the experience?: No. good god no.
6. If you could frame the jockstrap of any sports figure and hang it in your den, whose would you choose?: No one. that is disgusting.
7. If you had to disguise yourself physically, how would you do it?: I don't have to do much, people barely notice me as it is. XD
8. Name a city that best represents your personality.: Tokyo? I like the clothes...I honestly don't know. XD

 

[Red Memories]

1. What is your favorite food? What's so great about it?:TACOS. You can customize them and they stay good regardless. as long as it isn't fish tacos... that's gross...
2. Define justice!: The Ten Commandments.
3. Do you orientate by general directions or by landmarks?: landmarks. I am absolutely terrible at remembering specific directions.
4. What did you like about your favorite story book from childhood?: It showed the loyalty that can exist in friendship.
5. What would you like to learn if time and money were no issue? Why?: Every musical instrument so I could produce my own album.
6. Can you roll your tongue?: No.
7. Describe the inside of your fridge!: You mean my family's fridge. hahaha its a mess.
8. Convince the forum that pajama day should be a bank holiday.: No. Pajamas are not appropriate for work.

 

[Red Memories]

1. Which would come out on top in a battle... Zombies, Vampires, or Werewolves? And why?: Vampires. Because I am a fan of Twilight, and I really feel this is an odd question that makes no sense. But zombies are extremely slow and can be easily killed and vampires have skills which would probably defeat or at least outwit a werewolf. It would be a nasty battle between Vampires and Werewolves though.
2. What is your idea of the perfect day?: No drama, chill, and good food.
3. What really is the correct way to pronounce potato and tomato?: Tah-may-toe and puh-tay-toe.
4. If you could live anywhere, where would you live (doesn't have to be a real place)?: Wonderland.
5. What changes would you make if you were president/king/emperor/ruler of the world?: World peace.
6. Using only words that start with the letter S, describe yourself.: I'm not good with questions like this so I am gonna bounce over it.
7. If you could be a member of the opposite sex for one day...what would you do?: I would analyze what guys truly think about on a daily basis. And take notes. so I have a deeper understanding of the opposite sex.
8. What is your biggest pet peeve?: Laziness.
9. If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be?: An owl.
10. Are you a night owl or an early bird?: early bird.

 

[Red Memories]

1. What is beauty? What is love?: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This is truly the best definition of beauty. Beauty really is the set of ideals and preferences someone has for something that is appealing to their eye. Love is an emotional loyalty you have for someone that causes you to do things for them even if it isn't always in your nature.
2. What are your most important values?: Modesty, loyalty, dedication, and honesty.
3. Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?: I am an evangelical lutheran. I was formerly a Catholic. I do agree with much of catholic theology but I feel the Lutheran reforms hold true to what is right. I cannot imagine a world without a creator.
4. Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?: War is evil. Militaries simply do what is commanded in a mixed up muddled up world. Power can be one of two things: Love, which is a beautiful kind of power, one that comes from care, or fear, which is sadly how most people gain power. they scare people into submission.

 

[Red Memories]

5. What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?: Ironically, MBTI typing. XD Samuel Larsen, religion, my beliefs on certain agendas. Writing, music.
6. Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?: Not really. Health isn't my favorite topic. I do like discussing mental illnesses though.
7. What do you think of daily chores?: They are necessary to teach people responsibility and can prepare you for life.
8. Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.: My favorite movie maker is Tim Burton. I have seen many movies of his, my favorite movie is actually the Nightmare Before Christmas. Edward Scissorhands is probably the more emotional one though. My favorite author is Charles Dickens. A Tale of Two Cities still makes me cry if I think of it. I personally relate to Pip from Great Expectations. Oliver Twist made me cry within the first few pages. My favorite book is the Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. Most beautiful moving book I ever read.
9. What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?: I have a strong empathetic response to stories which involve people having difficult lives. The last thing I cried about is discussing with my mother the betrayal of a friend from 3 years ago. I smiled today after spending hours with a friend, writing with her and just generally talking about live.
10. Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?: Alone. I don't feel like I fit in anywhere.

 

[Red Memories]

11. What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?: Some of my friends see me as irrational and over-emotional. Some also feel I generally don't show enough affirmative body language that I am listening to them in a conversation, so they feel ignored. Some have told me I would be a great leader, if "I had more tact." I dislike my rash emotional responses.
12. What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?: Most people find me extremely compassionate and helpful. People often bring their problems to me and ask for help from me. My family feels I am very intelligent. I feel I am quite intelligent and feel it is my strength.
13. In what areas of your life would you like help?: To control my emotions better when someone upsets me.
14. Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.: Yes. If I feel stuck in a rut I begin to feel stressed, thinking this will ruin the flow of things and cause my productivity to go down and I will ultimately fail at life so then I merely freak out. :3

 

[Red Memories]

So I took the Kiersay test linked from here and once more received ISTJ.
It says my functions work as this.

Si = Fi > Se = Te > Ni > Fe > Ne > Ti

 

[Red Memories]

*interal screaming* okay the socionics test says I am LIE, my other possible types are LII, ESI, and ILI.

Small Groups
Quadra: Gamma
Club: Researchers
Temperament: EJ
Romance Styles:
Primary: Victim
Secondary: Caregiver

First Tier Dichotomies
Extrovert
Intuitive
Logical
Rational (Judging)

Second Tier Dichotomies
Dynamic
Yielding
Democratic
Strategic
Emotivist
Carefree

Third Tier Dichotomies
Serious
Decisive
Positivist
Result

Fourth Tier Dichotomies
Declaring

 

[Red Memories]

15. What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?: I strongly dislike dishonesty and laziness. If someone shows these traits we are bound to fight. I cannot handle people who do not try to better themselves or generally lack ambition period, unless there is a plausible reason like severe depression.
16. How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?: I am on the asexual spectrum, so sex isn't something I really think of. Nonetheless, I just want a partner who is compassionate and can accept me as I am without asking me to entirely change who I am.
17. If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?: Intelligence and independent thinking. When I was younger, I was very wrapped up in what people thought of me and lost myself trying to find a sense of belonging. I only hurt myself. I would work with my child to try and help them find what they believe in and perceive as true, rather than what someone tells them.
18. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?:
Inward: YOU ARE COMPLETELY UTTERLY WRONG I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU FALL FOR THAT KIND OF BULLSHIT/ you are mistaken, let me correct you.
Outward: I mean, we all have our opinions. or if I feel strongly about this belief, I will debate it. and I will probably get mad at you for disagreeing with me. XD
19. Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.: Me and society don't get along these days. Much so, I am a traditionalists on a lot of things and people keep telling me it isn't the 50's anymore. I normally dislike people my own age and get along better with people in their 60's and older. My mother says I am merely an old soul. I don't know what it means, I just lack the ability to tolerate stupidity.
20. How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?: I generally test the waters and see if I can really trust them. I think my biggest problem now is I had so many problematic relationships in the past, the first mistake someone makes I am much less forgiving than I used to be. I know people tend to say sorry and do nothing else. I want to see actions that match with what you speak to me. Once I feel that has happened, I will begin to slowly open myself up to you. On a rare occasion I will let you in my little boxed up world that I don't want humanity to destroy the rest of the way.
21. How do you behave around strangers?: Wait, I am supposed to interact with strangers? Like, not stare at them from afar and imagine conversations with someone who looks appealing and never actually have the guts to talk to them? Oh...

 

[Red Memories]

1. Do you tend to save money and are cautious about spending it?: My friend bribed me with gifting to get me to save $10 I received. This probably answers the question of spending...
2. Are you security oriented? Ready to protect yourself, those close to you and your resources?: I am security orientated toward people and I would fight to the death for someone I really cared about.
3. Are you fairly consistent? Like things known and regular? No big changes?: I am pretty consistent. Probably makes me kind of boring.
4. Do you dislike taking big risks unless it's a "sure" thing?: I hate taking risks at all. Risks involves it NOT being a sure thing. There is no sure thing risk. DON'T PLAY GAMES MISTER.
5. Are you fairly private? Not revealing too much to strangers?: Depends what mood I am in. If I am extremely stressed and a puddle of emotion I will probably freak you out by blurting out my life story trying to regain sanity. Otherwise, good luck getting 3 words out of me in a social situation. Especially if two people are there.
6. Do you tend to be introverted?: With strangers and groups, yes. With 1x1 conversation, most people would find me insane.
7. Do you understand money? Securities? Investments?: Kinda?
8. Do you tend to plan for the future? Ready for emergencies?: I plan for the future and if my plan changes in the slightest I have panic attacks and generally just lose my headspace.
9. Are you concerned about health? Safety? Comfort? Home? Hearth?: Yes.
10. Are you worried about what may go wrong? Tend to imagine worse case scenarios?: YES.
11. Do you like things spelled out? Details? Exact information? Guarantees?: YES
12. In relationships do you take care of others financially?: I try to, if I can.

 

[Red Memories]

1. Do you need or really like social validation?: Depends who you are. If I care about you, your validation is valuable to me. If you're just the bitch next door, no. I don't really give a flying fig what you think.
2. Is social image important to you?: Eh, honestly, not as much as it used to be. I care in the general scope of things how my actions will affect the entirety of the world order, but not directly like .01% of people who are probably oversensitive morons anyway.
3. Do you have desires/fantasies of being rewarded in a social or public arena?: No...unless getting my diploma counts.
4. Do you think about your affect on others, groups, organizations, and the world?: Yes, to a degree.
5. Is it very important to you to look good in public, groups, work, and the world? Is name recognition important, either yours or others?: I do care about looking good, simply because it is the acceptable thing to do for a future career and it just sucks to be a non-hygenic person. Erm, I have respected teachers who brutally mispronounce my name so.
6. Are you upset if you don't get enough validation, reward for the hard and creative work you do in a social context or for a social cause?: Somewhat yes, if I feel my work was outstanding I will get angry if I receive a less than B grade. Oh is this not about my grades? yeah then I don't care as much. I really only care what you think if we are close or you have a PHD or something.
7. Are you involved in groups, organizations and team oriented activities?: I am involved with church activities. I have been involved with groups in the past. I hate working in teams with projects that require thinking rather than routined tasks though.
8. Is belonging to special groups or being a leader of a group important to you?: Special group, not really. Being a leader? Kind of. I like being in control.
9. Are you strongly upset if you feel not included or rejected by a group or family or not invited to a social event?: Yes to rejected, no to not invited to a social event. that probably means it is more than just them and will require me to socialize with a large group of strangers who I won't say 2 sentences to probably ever again.
10. Do you make your money through your association with groups affecting a large number of people?: No?
11. Do you get really upset if you make a social faux pas? Do you think about and plan out how you will be or present yourself in public?: Not really? I don't know what a faux paus is.
12. Are you the social instigator and connector in your family?: Yes and no.

 

[Red Memories]

1. During your youth (7'ish to 18), What did you focus on the most? What activities did you like and why? What aspect of life was lax in attention?: In my younger years, I was a bit obsessively imaginative. I would do online roleplays, story writing, lyric writing, and make up my own sort of acting scenarios. My mother commented before that I should consider being an actress, because I do so much of that kind of thing, and self-created plots. I enjoyed the escape and just not being so focused on "me" for a while. It was also nice at the same time to escape everyone else, because I struggled to fit in and it really hurt my desiring for belonging heart. I also heavily focused on my academics, wanting to be intelligent. I would say my emotional stability, considering I was a mess in my middle teens.


2. You're in you senior year of high school (or whatever equivalent) and you are looking back over the last couple of years. What was your favorite aspect of the schooling experience and why? Favorite subject and why?: I would say a general enjoyment of learning was my favorite part. I like being able to put weird things together. I enjoyed some aspects of school most wouldn't in the long run. I would probably say my Geography, because of the sociological aspects within it. Though I also enjoyed Algebra 1 and Biology.

3. A couple of friends call and invite you out to a restaurant. While there, you all are pleasantly conversing and one of your friends makes a comment that irked you. What are you're thoughts and how do you respond?: Usually I will quiet down because I am hurt. I will be reluctant to comment on why it hurt, but if they keep trying to pull it out of me I will probably begin a hurtful parade of words.

4. Your schooling is done and it's time to strike out into the world!! What sort of career do you want to go into and why?: Hahaha when I was young I felt SO SURE I wanted to save the world.
then I realized I didn't actually necessarily like saving people, I liked influencing people and want people to follow the plans and decisions I make. So I went from possibly psychology to leaning toward business management.

5. A friend is getting married and they put you in charge of the cake. You narrowed it down to two places to make an order. The first is a bakery with whom you got a good relationship with. The other is a well-known cake maker to whom everyone goes to (your friend hints to it as well). Which one do you choose and why?: Well it depends. I would probably go to the one I have a good relationship with, because if we have a good relationship it means he understands my imagined ideas well and makes them as realistic as he can. Going somewhere for the mere popularity is stupid.

6. You get into an argument with a friend/family member/co-worker. They criticize one of your personality traits. What would most likely be the focus of their critique?: "Why are you so stubborn?!" is the most common trend I see with long-time friends. I am a bit inflexible.

7. It's New Years! You and your friends are out and about after a party. Being drunk, one of your friends suggests to do something....'questionable' (Nothing serious. I.e, drugs, escort, etc.). What are your thoughts and how do you respond?: Number one, I wouldn't be at this party because I dislike parties and dislike alcohol. Now in the weird scenario this DID happen, I would say no and tell him/her we are going home. If they say no I would abandon them because they were dumb enough to get drunk and then defy logic. Yeah, probably won't be anyone's designated driver anytime soon.

8. A new art gallery opens up and your friend wants to go to the grand opening. Both of you analyze all the paintings and sculptures. What about these works warrants the most attention from you? Why?: Well I know when I look at art, I like finding familiar things. For instance, recently, a library nearby had an art contest set up, and my favorite painting was one of a Junco. Juncos are adorable birds and often come to the feeders in our front yard in the winter. There was a small snowflake on his head, which added to the sentiment. Moreless, the more relation I have to it or the more emotion it provokes in me, the better it is to me.

9. You have been saving up and decide to buy a new car. At the dealership, you peruse the lots. What are the criteria and factors that influence your choice? Which one would initially be your main focus?: First hand, I'll probably read local reviews suggesting the pros and cons of this particular car lot. I may bring a friend along who knows a bit more about cars than I do. If the cars look dirty or generally old and worn out, I will probably go elsewhere. If you're going to sell used cars, make them worthy of my looking. I will probably be cautious of a car salesmen, simply because they don't always have your best interest in mind. I would not buy a car without test driving it. I would also check the carfax, and see how many owners the vehicle has had and how many REPAIRS. If this car has had a lot of repairs I would steer clear. if someone had this car for ages and only had one major repair, I would be more interested.

10. Yep, you now have a kid (sex of your choosing)! Years pass and they are now 15 years old. You notice their personality traits are the complete opposite of how you were when at their age. Describe how they are. Describe the possible conflicts that would arise between both of you due to differing temperaments.: They oppose all authority, and lack the ambition to do anything. They are overly abstract, making it difficult to speak to them. They are extremely social and love going to parties all the time, to the painful lack of GPA...

 

[Red Memories]

coming from here: SAGE Journals: Your gateway to world-class journal research

1. dinner guest: I would probably have dinner with a close friend or my family to be honest. I prefer security over spontaneity. It would be hard for me to have a dinner with someone I wasn't that close to, to be honest.
2. Famous in what way if at all?: I am conflicted about this. While I would love to be a singer/songwriter at some point in my life the idea of a camera in my face constantly is bothersome, and I do like to have some privacy. But I would love to inspire people with my music.
3. do you rehearse telephone calls?: No, unless I am having a serious confrontation. Then I write down what I intend to say like a script and read it, so I don't lose my train of thought.
4. A perfect day to you?: Probably one without drama, but typical and not a lot outside the box. Some productivity is good too.
5. what did you last sing for you? for someone else?: The last thing I sang for me? I think I was singing Buy Me Diamonds by Bea Miller from my mp3 last night. I listen to music a lot though. XD the last thing I sang for someone else was my own song lyrics because my lovely friend was helping me get some musical background to my own songs.
6. if you could live to the age 90, would you rather have the mind or body of a 30 year old?: That's a good question. Body would allow me to be active, longer, while the mind would allow me to continue to learn. I honestly can't decide...
7. Do you have a hunch how you will die?: Probably drowning, considering I am so afraid of it, or falling. because I have a lot of dreams about falling off ledges and such to my demise.
8. I don't have a partner sorry lolz
9. what in your life do you feel most grateful?: Most of my family.
10. if you could change anything about how you were raised, what would it be?: Maybe some kinder words when I stumbled and fell. But I really am not sure I would change a lot of what they did, I think I would change more of what I did.
11. haha no partner.
12. if I woke up tomorrow with a new ability, what would it be?: Can I just, understand geometric things? please? like can I have the ability to do geometry? that'd be great.
13. A crystal ball can tell me a truth about my life, what would I want to know?: First hand, I wouldn't mess with a crystal ball because that is superstitious stuff and I would be too afraid to actually know the future. It would feel like fate is not in my hands and just psyche me out. XD If I did ask anything, I'd probably look to see what my future career is, because I feel so unsure of it right now.
14. Is there something you've dreamed of doing for a long time? why haven't you done it?: I would like to actually, do a sort of musical performance with my own songs. Well let's see, I haven't properly learned an instrument enough yet and...well...I have stage fright...
15. greatest life accomplishment?: Probably the fact I have such a high GPA in college. I feel like my grades define me way too much though.
16. Most valued thing in friendship?: Coin toss between honesty and loyalty. I want someone who is going to stick around and someone I can tell everything too. if I can't do them both then I have a hard time with the friendship.
17. treasured memory?: I...kind of wish I had a sort of treasured memory. I kind of held on to a lot of negative memories so I can't think of a treasured memory that hasn't been distorted in some way to be negative. Dang I need to work on that.
18. Terrible memory?: Hahaha too personal to share here.
19. If I was to die in a year would I change how I am living now?: Probably. I'd probably just lay around and cry about all the things I never got to finish.
20. what does friendship mean to you?: Loyalty, Honesty, Trust, spending quality time together. generally feeling like you can be close without actually speaking at all. Not judging each other too harshly, but being willing to lead the person in the right direction and not afraid to say they're doing something wrong.
21. roles of love and affection in your life?: hahahahaha what is loveee. baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more. In all honesty "love" in a romantic sense at the moment is me obsessing over a celebrity who won't ever formally marry me. Dang it. But love and affection on a family and friend front? It is pretty important to me. Want to make sure I show my care in some way, whether it be time or gifts. I usually try to find something people enjoy, even if it's just chocolate.
22. no partner.
23. How warm and happy is your family? was your childhood happier than other people's?: I feel this is too personal to answer. some parts yes other parts no. I won't detail much.
24. Relationship with your mother?: A+ she is my hero and I love her dearly.
25. no partner
26. I wish I had someone who I could share my...: okay this is hard because at the moment everything I would have formerly put in this blank, I actually have. I have a friend who is willing to listen to my really bizarre interests, and my family usually compensates in other places. Really can't think of something.
27. no partner.
28. MY SHELF CANNOT BE A PARTNER okay trying to be funny.
29. no partner.
30. when did you last cry in front of another person?: Does my family count? a couple weeks ago if so. On my own? Sunday, over a terrible TV show. XD
31. Well you store my mother's cute ty pinkie's collection...okay Jazzy this is why you aren't funny.
32. What is too serious to be joked about?: Suicide, hands down. If anyone jokes about suicide, or self harm, or anything within the realm of mental illness I will be very upset.
33. If I died suddenly what would I regret not having said to someone?: I think I would regret my lack of ability to show people besides my family I do truly value their presence and that my motherly lectures are meant compassionately, not negatively. I do try to explain this but many just don't like that trait in me. XD
34. My house catches on fire and after pets and family is saved I can dash for one more item, what is it?: OH GOD WHY WOULD YOU ASK ME THIS I WOULD DIE TRYING TO DECIDE WHAT TO TAKE. Okay, I would either take my laptop because it has all my music and stories on it, or I would take my stuffed animal Clifford that I have had since I was like 8 years old because it means the world to me.
35. who's death would you find most disturbing out of all your family members?: Probably my mother, since we're very close and I don't feel like I can tell anyone else in my family things I can tell her. my little siblings would be difficult too though.
36. noooo partnerrrr

 

[Red Memories]

so as a guide I read over the background for the types from here and this was my analysis.

Ones I have a lot of relation to: ISTJ, ESTJ
Ones I somewhat relate to: ENTJ, INFP

the rest I feel very little to no relation to. Obviously there is a strong possibility I am an STJ. XD I relate to INFP's artistic depth and the fact they desire deep conversation and to understand what people are feeling. ENTJ I relate to desire to have control over situations and have the position to make needed changes. I am very competitive and get upset by anyone who objects to my idea of "progress."

one of my biggest issues with these two types though is I tend to prefer traditions and predictability. I don't like change or adventurous risky endeavors.

 

[Red Memories]

to continue this typing thread where I have solely replied to myself XD

while I cannot assume order totally, I feel very affirmed of what my functions are based on studying them solely more.
Si > Se
Fi > Fe
Te > Ti
Ne > Ni

this suggests I am either...
ESTJ/ISTJ
or
ENFP/INFP

I will laugh if in the long run of the years I am truly an ENFP, which [MENTION=30445]thepink-cloakedninja[/MENTION] originally told me she perceived me as. XD