How does this sound like ?

[FoulcherDeChartres]

Thanks.
I think I have a whole grasp around it now. I made the terrible mistake to relate to archetypes and dummy forums where people try to fit the "cool" persona of their type.
I watched a video where someone spoke about differences between intj and intp and I definitively relate more to the intj side than intp side. This is the first video I saw which was actually simple and explained by a mature man and not by a theoretician/adolescent/consultant with no scientific background.
I see know the core of functions and not their statistical representation. I am more Te than Ti for sure even if I can use Ti (it kinda exhausts me). I was not the stereotypical introvert when I was a kid (very active). I think I am a mix between I/E NTJ but more I.
I did not related much with Ni because people tend to explain it in a grandiose way. For myself, it is just a part of my life and I did not really see it as exceptionnal. But now I think about it, I see that my conscious thought tend to do leaps in thinking every time but not so often as "ahah" (this is so common..). I extroverted my Te by playing with my toys : there was a rank among my characters. I loved allegorical characters and so on...
The theme of my life : love, persona (enneagram 4) can have mislead me because for me an INTJ was a classical nerd as well as the intp. I felt very different from my comrades (in terms of interests and not thinking) even in engineering school and pure scientific classes (in France, we have a special kind of education called preparatory classes whitch are two years intensive theoretical classes to prepare entry in leading schools).
I did not came from thinking family at all and I grew up in a kind of "gangsta" town (not that much but a bit). I did not really interact with nerds during my childhood which can explain my deviation.
That is why I can relate also to ISFP archetype but definitively not to Se. I relate to ENTP in archetype (70%) but in terms of functions I am more in the : Ni, Fi, Te kingdom. The Fe part mislead me too but I understood this part poorly. Even a Fi wants to be loved at least a bit, this is a part of our self confidence.
I find all the functions of INTJ in terms of directions but not clearly archetype. I do one project after another, I feel inconfortable around chaos, my brain definitely filters information to keep the abstraction I like and I am a strong right-brained in terms of perception (but not in action where I am more left brained).
Yes I can practice Ne too since it is intuition afterall but I do not relate to the "many alternatives" part.
So INTJ, ENTJ or ISFP are fine for me since they have same functions. I just needed some ground to find my way back. INFJ ? Could be possible but the strong Fe part seems unlikely...

 

[FoulcherDeChartres]

Funny facts, I have had two paranoid attacks recently wich I think relate to NiFi :

• first : I saw two guys on a motorcycle recently waiting and I just have had a flash I was convinced they had a gun and they wanted to do something bad (like shooting on me because I saw them)
• second : I gave my skis for maintenance and it came from nowhere, I told myself "he will steal it from me"

This convergence is quite clear

 

[Yutopas]

If you have put order to your mind, it is fine.
You are right, knowing your function order is not very useful because you will see in practice the difference between an auxiliary function and a tertiary one. The dominant one is not important because it is a natural strength you do not even need to work.
I read that the dominant function is your unconscious biggest strength. Your inferior function is the one which appears under extreme stress (unconscious biggest weakness) and now I think about it I actually think you are an ENTJ based on what you said about your presentation skills and though extroversion has nothing to do with shyness+self-confidence.
You said that you can cry easily, but do you think you cry for a reason or do you think this depth is uncontrolled and binary ?
Do you see this sensitive part as a weekness ?
Have you had experiences of good leadership ?
Do you restore balance with introverted time ?
Do you relate with the quick think-act system ?

 

[FoulcherDeChartres]

I do not know because I do relate with many aspects of this type but at the end of the day I am not "The CEO".
So what do we do ? Skip totally archetypes or keep it ?
There is something I may have never paid attention because it was piece of cake for me : solving daily problems blazingly fast. I always noticed that people were very passive or slower than me to solve practical problems "this is not working"...ok I am here. "This new thing does not work"...jumping to it and make it work. "I do not know how to do it with this software"...never used and not so much used computers in my life...problem solved.
Now I tell it, I am very controlling of myself and tend to live every action as a decision to make. At college, I because first in almost every fields (maths, physics, french, history, ...) and I was kind of very proud of it. I enjoyed being the center of attention and I found the competition as fun even if I played it cool to feed my image. After 18 years old, I worked a lot to improve silly things, I wanted to excel at something. So I tried many things : I trained one year at running just to be the first but I ended sick so I stopped (because doing a track without being in top 10 is worthless), I trained one year in maths to reach the best French school...I failed close but I prove to myself I was strong even years after, same for litterature...I wanted to become the new Proust.
At sports, I tend to give a lot but I think I am too rigid since I control too much my corpse (Te dom ?). When I relax, I perform well.
I do not generally need to actually win something, if I prove to myself I am very good, it is ok.
This is the same at work : problem stated, solved. I tend to be faster than my fellow engineer but I think I have a less deep understanding (and I do not care).
It is not always a very deep solution but more a practical one. I have this impulse in my brain to jump right now to a solution. I tend to think that intuition is at service of my thinking because it manifests normally during my thinking.
I call it thinking but to me Te is not really a thinking function...am I wrong ?

When I was a kid, I was very dynamic and not a thinker according to my parent. My weakness has always be my sensitivity and during my adolescence (13-15), I isolate because I did not want tonne part of the sheep heard and I did not want to be the shy loser waiting for attention.
I just had some acquittances to speak, I saw it as my relationship web like I was an important person.
The result is that I am more shy. The bully thing, I did it with my childhood friend.
Generally speaking, I saw me very different than others while growing. I do not relate well with the geeky spirit.

I have always wanted to avoid showing me crying at all cost and when I fail because I am too emotive, I feel terrible and want to "destroy my sensitivity". I do not have a very deep bound with my emotions now I think about it, it is more black and white. ENTJ ? Possible function-wise but the description seems far because of my situation.
I think my first pair is more like T-N than N-T but since I am more convergent thinker, it can only be Te-Ni.
I relate a lot with ENTJ view of programming. TiNe is a thinker...I do not see myself as it.
Terriary Se is possible since I tend to do not enjoy the present moment but I touch everything and can go sometimes in risky behaviours, speed and so on. I am also a bit "douchey", a bit concerned about showing my wealth and enjoy beautiful things.
Well, maybe I am just a ANTJ (ambivert TJ)

 

[Butze]

You don't strike me as a INTJ, too much doubt going around. Maybe ENTJ is the solution.

 

[FoulcherDeChartres]

Yes I think I must stay with this.

The underlying problem is the difference between Ti and Te which seems weird. I mean, logic is logic and I do not see the point of separating them. To me truth is also unique and some assertions have just no truthy value aside from collective thinking.
If I define Te by rationality derived from the object, so yes I use Te to think.

Now you will always at some point use a personnal understanding to be efficient memory-wise or so on. I do not even see why someone would be a T-dom without trying to have both strong Te and Ti.
Then, Ti is about understanding and Te about setting, I do not even see how someone could only have one as a worker.
This is even more stupid because MBTI profiles contradict themselves : ISTP is a physical troubleshooter but INTP is a theoretical thinker. In this case, ISTP would be Te.
Last définition : Te is ordering world, Tibisbordering inner world... Well, how could we even order world without having an inner logic ?
I haven't found any relevant example, always one-sided making me think "Oh shit, both these examples must be terrible engineers".
I guess it works best when paired with a perceptive function and here I relate more to Te-Ni for the convergent and linear thinking. But again...if you do not know a complex thing, how could you possibly understand it without understanding smaller parts ?
All this lead me to a "no-care" attitude about functions Just asking myself "but what is the point ? Just do what have a positive impact around you and do the actions required to serve your agenda...what is the point knowing X is Y or else ?"
I know what I must do, this is all I need.
I think I saw Te-Ni this afternoon. I was writing the walktrough to build the final solution of an optimization problem in a linear fashion while saying it out loud and at some point I saw a possible obstacle. Then, BANG I saw two curves in my head and the actual solution. I tried to keep it in my brain and draw it quickly while explaining it to myself and putting words on it.