Help me to understand my tipe

[sonečka]

I don't know how to properly start. MBTI became one of my special interests few months ago. I don't think I have a great talent to understand myself, so I quitted introspection in favor of self-observation to understand my type, and I need to be observed from the outside too. I feel like I'm running in circle and missing the point, as can't get a global sense from myself. I'm going to write a few lines, and, if you want, tell me what is your impression. I don't have a experience of humanity and can't compare myself to others, but maybe you can blend me in a context that makes sense.
Sometimes I have the impression of going through the world and see all the synchronies that shows as a stable trend that unites mind and physical enviroment. Object keeps appearing and reappearing to my eyes, and I think my mind notice them to the extent that they become a form of repetition. I walk every path with this sense of duality between the nature of the mind and the nature of perception and I wonder what it means, which one of the two provide a sense of repetition. I don't understand if I'm a creature confined in her head or a object between objects. If I'm the most abstract or the most concrete. Sometimes I am frustrated and overwhelmed that I don't get any meaning from objects. I wish they could speak to me.
All my perceptions and insights are identity-mind related. I seek intense and meaningful experiences: I wish I could communicate them, or tell my identity through them. I want to be connected, I want to be understood, to fit, to be good, to understand. I see identity as a start and as a cage. I think I'm a enneagram 4, maybe with a 3 wing that creates me a desperate will of outward existence and recognition. Or maybe I'm a 9 with a 1 wing: unaware of my feelings, without a will, stuck in a parallel dimension outside the self, but with equanimity as a model for life. I tested as infp, infj, intp. Feel free to ask more questions. I would be grateful for that.

 

[Mal12345]

I don't know how to properly start. MBTI became one of my special interests few months ago. I don't think I have a great talent to understand myself, so I quitted introspection in favor of self-observation to understand my type, and I need to be observed from the outside too. I feel like I'm running in circle and missing the point, as can't get a global sense from myself. I'm going to write a few lines, and, if you want, tell me what is your impression. I don't have a experience of humanity and can't compare myself to others, but maybe you can blend me in a context that makes sense.
Sometimes I have the impression of going through the world and see all the synchronies that shows as a stable trend that unites mind and physical enviroment. Object keeps appearing and reappearing to my eyes, and I think my mind notice them to the extent that they become a form of repetition. I walk every path with this sense of duality between the nature of the mind and the nature of perception and I wonder what it means, which one of the two provide a sense of repetition. I don't understand if I'm a creature confined in her head or a object between objects. If I'm the most abstract or the most concrete. Sometimes I am frustrated and overwhelmed that I don't get any meaning from objects. I wish they could speak to me.
All my perceptions and insights are identity-mind related. I seek intense and meaningful experiences: I wish I could communicate them, or tell my identity through them. I want to be connected, I want to be understood, to fit, to be good, to understand. I see identity as a start and as a cage. I think I'm a enneagram 4, maybe with a 3 wing that creates me a desperate will of outward existence and recognition. Or maybe I'm a 9 with a 1 wing: unaware of my feelings, without a will, stuck in a parallel dimension outside the self, but with equanimity as a model for life. I tested as infp, infj, intp. Feel free to ask more questions. I would be grateful for that.

I would say that, in your description, it is the lack of concrete description that is most telling of your type, which is the INFJ. But there are these tiny clues embedded in the whole, such as: "can't get a global sense from myself." Only a couple types would even think such a thing or in such a way. INFJ is definitely one of them.

 

[Mal12345]

Sometimes I have the impression of going through the world and see all the synchronies that shows as a stable trend that unites mind and physical enviroment."

INFJ all the way. Synchronies, uniting mind and environment. Your abstract method of expression. These things all point to INFJ. You are very detached from your environment, and from yourself.

 

[sonečka]

I wrote an answer to you and it disappeared. I'm going to do that again. I impersonate things. When I stop thinking I am something, I lose the ability related to that mask. All my life it's a suggestion about identity, and this tells me Fi-Ne. I am detatched from myself and my environment because I have autism. I'm not closed in feelings, I'm closed in something that is personal. I'm closed in opacity. No images, no feelings. If I could return to something, I would be a creature able to feel. I don't remember images, signs (Ni). Maybe I'm abstract because I deny the personal. I'm unable to focus and properly think by myself. I would like an infp or an infj to read me and tell me if they can mirror me, and why.

 

[Mal12345]

I wrote an answer to you and it disappeared. I'm going to do that again. I impersonate things. When I stop thinking I am something, I lose the ability related to that mask. All my life it's a suggestion about identity, and this tells me Fi-Ne. I am detatched from myself and my environment because I have autism. I'm not closed in feelings, I'm closed in something that is personal. I'm closed in opacity. No images, no feelings. If I could return to something, I would be a creature able to feel. I don't remember images, signs (Ni). Maybe I'm abstract because I deny the personal. I'm unable to focus and properly think by myself. I would like an infp or an infj to read me and tell me if they can mirror me, and why.

Look in your Sent box.

If you agree with INFP then go with that.

 

[sonečka]

I don't think I'm able to decide it right now.

 

[Virtual ghost]

I don't know how to properly start. MBTI became one of my special interests few months ago. I don't think I have a great talent to understand myself, so I quitted introspection in favor of self-observation to understand my type, and I need to be observed from the outside too. I feel like I'm running in circle and missing the point, as can't get a global sense from myself. I'm going to write a few lines, and, if you want, tell me what is your impression. I don't have a experience of humanity and can't compare myself to others, but maybe you can blend me in a context that makes sense.
Sometimes I have the impression of going through the world and see all the synchronies that shows as a stable trend that unites mind and physical enviroment. Object keeps appearing and reappearing to my eyes, and I think my mind notice them to the extent that they become a form of repetition. I walk every path with this sense of duality between the nature of the mind and the nature of perception and I wonder what it means, which one of the two provide a sense of repetition. I don't understand if I'm a creature confined in her head or a object between objects. If I'm the most abstract or the most concrete. Sometimes I am frustrated and overwhelmed that I don't get any meaning from objects. I wish they could speak to me.
All my perceptions and insights are identity-mind related. I seek intense and meaningful experiences: I wish I could communicate them, or tell my identity through them. I want to be connected, I want to be understood, to fit, to be good, to understand. I see identity as a start and as a cage. I think I'm a enneagram 4, maybe with a 3 wing that creates me a desperate will of outward existence and recognition. Or maybe I'm a 9 with a 1 wing: unaware of my feelings, without a will, stuck in a parallel dimension outside the self, but with equanimity as a model for life. I tested as infp, infj, intp. Feel free to ask more questions. I would be grateful for that.

I think 4 with 9w1 fix would be a logical conclusion. Did you ever try to take ennegram test or ennegram tritype test ?

 

[sonečka]

I usually get a high score in enneagram 3, 4, 5. I can relate to 9 in some ways: I decide not to see myself, I want to be fluid, to fit everywhere. But this is because I deeply refuse myself, which brings me back to 4. I have never studied tritype actually, I focused on MBTI the most.