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ISFP or ESFP? Dont know who i am....

Icefire

New member
Joined
Dec 6, 2016
Messages
22
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w5
I took this test idk how many time and guess really goes about how I'm feeling or home situation. When in school I was not exactly quite either and also loved to make people laugh. When I got in a relationship I put all my time and energy into being a good mom. I worked part time at a convenient store and had no problem talking to people I didn't even know, that was my thrill and at times hated going home bc the person I was with was an introvert and I hated the silence and bugged the life out of me. I could never find my talents so I just went with the flow an figure I'm pretty smart in my own dumb way I could figure it out. I'm really good at doing hair so my goal was to be a hair dresser, I would do other peoples hair on the side line before actually going to school for it. Anyways I got bored with it and my figure hurt from doing it so much and every piece of hair out of place would drive me nuts... So forget that Ill be a nurse instead, got my cna and worked in a mental facility. I split up with the introvert bc he cheated on me and I felt FREE!!!! I couldn't be more alive, going out clubbing with co-workers. Doing drugs I regretted and could never be alone, it scared me. I had friends come live with me helping me with my kids bc I was a terrible mom and has always had a short temper.

Anyways fast forward had a friend who had always came over to my house and he always brought his friend over as well and we just kicked it and smoked pot, they crashed in my living room while I went to go sleep in my room with my kids. 6 months later I ended up hooking up with my friend and I don't think I remember ever being so in love. I always wanted to find ways too please him and never wanted him too leave my side. He also is an extrovert and took on the role of a dad very quickly and lovingly.


Fast forward we wanted to change so we joined a church and got off the weed and found ways to enjoy life as Christians. Only thing is, the people at my church made me feel uncomfortable. I didn't just jump into their crowd if anything I shyed away from them. Their activities bored me, they had fun like volleyball or planning the next event an so on. It took me almost 2 yrs to warm up to them and felt more comfortable at my job chit chatting with co-workers. But me an co-workers had very strong different beliefs so we left those topics out, but bc of my beliefs I couldn't relate to them in their lifestyle anymore.

More forward I was told I should focus on my children more and I was pregnant so I ended up becoming a stay at home mom and even decided to homeschool them. I've been a stay at home mom for 3 years now and my husband can not relate too me emotionally so I'm frustrated being home ALL by myself. I mean I have my kids but they talk too much an not on my level so if anything I'm annoyed. I ended up getting sick and not knowing what is wrong due to no insurance and seem to be tired a lot more. I actually don't want to go out anymore either, I don't want to go to church or their events as well. I go crazy with all the noise my kids create so at nights when its quite I stay up late bc it my me time. I don't want to be around anyone anymore. I just want too be alone. I cant think with all the noise in my house and I'm very frustrated bc those church friends in my opinion are not close friends I can just share what I'm going through with. I have no friends an my husband is starting to get frustrated with me bc I stare at the wall so much and just think about my life and how I used too be so cool and fun and this new me is not really me. I think I'm sad probably the saddest I've ever been as an adult. Money doesn't make me happy neither does I love you's from my family.

when I take the test It says I'm a ISFP, but when I get on isfp forums it doesn't sound like me. I mean in school people called me weird from time to time bc I would use my stupidity to make them laugh and laugh with them, not going too lie I hated being called weird though. I usually keep up with my house and not let it get too dirty and I'm a very clean person who would shower everyday. But not anymore, I just sit on the couch on my phone or closing my eyes and doing nothing from morning to night time. I take a shower probably every 3 days now and I don't care how dirty my house is, as long as I get no surprise visitors. I'm very mad inside and holding a lot of grudges towards loved ones for my past childhood an for me living in this tiny town that I hate so much. Since my husband can not relate to me I don't talk to him much of what I feel anymore. At nights I hope he falls asleep on the coach so I don't have too talk to him, I rather just be alone.

So what am I?
 

nemiki

New member
Joined
Dec 2, 2016
Messages
33
Enneagram
6w7
I don't know what type you are. I sense Se. And I sense depression. But I am not a professional. I suggest therapy. :)
 

Icefire

New member
Joined
Dec 6, 2016
Messages
22
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w5
I don't know what type you are. I sense Se. And I sense depression. But I am not a professional. I suggest therapy. :)
Yes I agree, definitely thought depression but not daily. I felt sad when I wrote it but today I feel great. I honestly can't think in my head if there is too much noise. I weird I can have a full conversation with myself. Lol... regardless of what I am, could I be both? Some days I crave too be around people and want to make others laugh by being stupid, an then some days I like to be a lone and feel comfortable if it's quite.. I love photography an I'm not bad at it either. If I knew how too write a song I most definitely would 😉
 

Mayflower

King Ping
Joined
Oct 3, 2016
Messages
701
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I'm in the same boat as you are. I am an XSFP, but can't say which. The difference is, are you more of a sensor or a feeler. To a lead sensor (Se), your main focus would be the world as it is,taking part in it, playing "with" it. A lead feeler (Fi) would be more focused on how things meet their ideals, their personal tastes. Think of a stereotypical art critic, judging the world on how it meets their standards. ESFP can be similar but is more lax in this area focusing on the "is" rather than "should". However, lead Se leads to focus on the moment, possibly doing things that Fi wouldn't approve of. I noticed you labeled your enneagram as 6w5. Your natural state seem 7'ish. The lead motivation for a 7 is to avoid internal negativity and experience the fun in life. I know I didn't say alot, but if you need more info just holler.
 

Mal12345

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 19, 2011
Messages
14,532
MBTI Type
IxTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I took this test idk how many time and guess really goes about how I'm feeling or home situation. When in school I was not exactly quite either and also loved to make people laugh. When I got in a relationship I put all my time and energy into being a good mom. I worked part time at a convenient store and had no problem talking to people I didn't even know, that was my thrill and at times hated going home bc the person I was with was an introvert and I hated the silence and bugged the life out of me. I could never find my talents so I just went with the flow an figure I'm pretty smart in my own dumb way I could figure it out. I'm really good at doing hair so my goal was to be a hair dresser, I would do other peoples hair on the side line before actually going to school for it. Anyways I got bored with it and my figure hurt from doing it so much and every piece of hair out of place would drive me nuts... So forget that Ill be a nurse instead, got my cna and worked in a mental facility. I split up with the introvert bc he cheated on me and I felt FREE!!!! I couldn't be more alive, going out clubbing with co-workers. Doing drugs I regretted and could never be alone, it scared me. I had friends come live with me helping me with my kids bc I was a terrible mom and has always had a short temper.

Anyways fast forward had a friend who had always came over to my house and he always brought his friend over as well and we just kicked it and smoked pot, they crashed in my living room while I went to go sleep in my room with my kids. 6 months later I ended up hooking up with my friend and I don't think I remember ever being so in love. I always wanted to find ways too please him and never wanted him too leave my side. He also is an extrovert and took on the role of a dad very quickly and lovingly.


Fast forward we wanted to change so we joined a church and got off the weed and found ways to enjoy life as Christians. Only thing is, the people at my church made me feel uncomfortable. I didn't just jump into their crowd if anything I shyed away from them. Their activities bored me, they had fun like volleyball or planning the next event an so on. It took me almost 2 yrs to warm up to them and felt more comfortable at my job chit chatting with co-workers. But me an co-workers had very strong different beliefs so we left those topics out, but bc of my beliefs I couldn't relate to them in their lifestyle anymore.

More forward I was told I should focus on my children more and I was pregnant so I ended up becoming a stay at home mom and even decided to homeschool them. I've been a stay at home mom for 3 years now and my husband can not relate too me emotionally so I'm frustrated being home ALL by myself. I mean I have my kids but they talk too much an not on my level so if anything I'm annoyed. I ended up getting sick and not knowing what is wrong due to no insurance and seem to be tired a lot more. I actually don't want to go out anymore either, I don't want to go to church or their events as well. I go crazy with all the noise my kids create so at nights when its quite I stay up late bc it my me time. I don't want to be around anyone anymore. I just want too be alone. I cant think with all the noise in my house and I'm very frustrated bc those church friends in my opinion are not close friends I can just share what I'm going through with. I have no friends an my husband is starting to get frustrated with me bc I stare at the wall so much and just think about my life and how I used too be so cool and fun and this new me is not really me. I think I'm sad probably the saddest I've ever been as an adult. Money doesn't make me happy neither does I love you's from my family.

when I take the test It says I'm a ISFP, but when I get on isfp forums it doesn't sound like me. I mean in school people called me weird from time to time bc I would use my stupidity to make them laugh and laugh with them, not going too lie I hated being called weird though. I usually keep up with my house and not let it get too dirty and I'm a very clean person who would shower everyday. But not anymore, I just sit on the couch on my phone or closing my eyes and doing nothing from morning to night time. I take a shower probably every 3 days now and I don't care how dirty my house is, as long as I get no surprise visitors. I'm very mad inside and holding a lot of grudges towards loved ones for my past childhood an for me living in this tiny town that I hate so much. Since my husband can not relate to me I don't talk to him much of what I feel anymore. At nights I hope he falls asleep on the coach so I don't have too talk to him, I rather just be alone.

So what am I?

ISFP 9w8, because all of the above. "when I take the test It says I'm a ISFP, but when I get on isfp forums it doesn't sound like me" - Yep, ISFP 9w8.
 

Mal12345

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 19, 2011
Messages
14,532
MBTI Type
IxTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Okay everybody, read and learn about the ISFP 9w8...

"I go crazy with all the noise my kids create so at nights when its quite I stay up late bc it my me time. I don't want to be around anyone anymore. I just want too be alone. I cant think with all the noise in my house and I'm very frustrated bc those church friends in my opinion are not close friends I can just share what I'm going through with. I have no friends an my husband is starting to get frustrated with me bc I stare at the wall so much and just think about my life and how I used too be so cool and fun and this new me is not really me."
 

SearchingforPeace

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 9, 2015
Messages
5,711
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
You sound ISFP (& I am married to one).

Read this and see if you relate: [ISFP] Recognizing the Inferior Function in ISFPs

Here is the ESFP one so you can see the difference: http://www.typologycentral.com/foru...itive-functions/29154-form-inferior-esps.html

The key to happiness for ISFPs is living up to their values in accordance with your environment. They need to find ways to find peace and harmony and love without too much stress. Unfortunately, they seem to find themselves in stressful situations, which leaves them angry and critical.

Therapy could be very helpful. I wish my wife would go, as she struggles with her stress.

Any idea of your husband's type?
 

Icefire

New member
Joined
Dec 6, 2016
Messages
22
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w5
I am definitely a sensor. I see things in full detail, smells take me places, touch well might go for every female wow touch can make me go numb, taste is stronger then others. But I think I might also have super senses. If its too bright outside my eyes hurt, if something taste bad I can not help it I can not keep my mouth shut and very verbal about how irritated I am about it and same goes with if I smell something bad, sometimes I get annoyed with touch if I'm having a bad day therefore I rather not be touched at all. My husband thinks I'm being distant but just not feeling well mostly the week before and during my cycle. I'm emotionally unstable at times, if I'm hurt I shut down and don't talk to no one and eventually that hurt turns into anger then the whole fam bam doesn't know what's wrong with me. Shoot sometimes idk what's wrong with.. I have a hard time understanding people and there different personalities bc I don't see how the things people say or do they don't realize they are rude or being hurtful. Therefor I guess I'm a drama queen in other peoples eyes bc I take things so personally. I'm finding out my kids are the same way and have been very careful how I speak too them, but I don't want them to be like me. I want them to be better then me and speak their mind, not over emotional and to not hold onto the hurt but to express it so that way it doesn't turn into anger.
 
Last edited:

Icefire

New member
Joined
Dec 6, 2016
Messages
22
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w5
I'm in the same boat as you are. I am an XSFP, but can't say which. The difference is, are you more of a sensor or a feeler. To a lead sensor (Se), your main focus would be the world as it is,taking part in it, playing "with" it. A lead feeler (Fi) would be more focused on how things meet their ideals, their personal tastes. Think of a stereotypical art critic, judging the world on how it meets their standards. ESFP can be similar but is more lax in this area focusing on the "is" rather than "should". However, lead Se leads to focus on the moment, possibly doing things that Fi wouldn't approve of. I noticed you labeled your enneagram as 6w5. Your natural state seem 7'ish. The lead motivation for a 7 is to avoid internal negativity and experience the fun in life. I know I didn't say alot, but if you need more info just holler.


IDK the test said I was a 6w5 but they all sound the same too me. I might of been a bit overwhelmed when I took the test maybe I should just take it again. The personality test though confuses me as if I'm in a good mood I'm considered a esfp but if I'm in a chill mood or bad mood I'm considered to be an isfp.
 

Icefire

New member
Joined
Dec 6, 2016
Messages
22
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w5
You sound ISFP (& I am married to one).

Read this and see if you relate: [ISFP] Recognizing the Inferior Function in ISFPs

Here is the ESFP one so you can see the difference: http://www.typologycentral.com/foru...itive-functions/29154-form-inferior-esps.html

The key to happiness for ISFPs is living up to their values in accordance with your environment. They need to find ways to find peace and harmony and love without too much stress. Unfortunately, they seem to find themselves in stressful situations, which leaves them angry and critical.

Therapy could be very helpful. I wish my wife would go, as she struggles with her stress.

Any idea of your husband's type?

Okay so I started to read the forum you linked above but stopped before I could finish. I think I'm getting this, Ive never compaired myself as an introvert or extrovert we call it are you a follower or are you a leader? So an Introvert is a indeed someone who follows others and having them lead and the leader makes all the tough calls.. If so I'm definitely an introvert, but I don't see a follower as a bad thing I see us being the more humble ones willing to cooperating better then those who are leaders who will argue their point with anyone even if they are wrong making themselves too look like a fool. But like I said its so confusing because I thought an extrovert is a people person, IM a people person and I talk way too much and know I'm a chatterbox. The other day I was at a ladies group thing and got a caffeine high from drinking too much tea, I told the ladies I think I'm on caffine overdose bc I can not stop talking. Another lady looks at me and says (REALLY, you don't say I couldn't tell) which I'm guessing she says that bc really I do talk way too much. I also will listen too though I'm not one too interrupt someone while they are talking, which some of the ladies or girls whatever we are in this group literally will talk over each other. I cant do that, I at least need to give the other person the respect to finish but that's how a lot of them are. One literally will be talking and another will state their opinion right over the person who was talking. IDK do you call a bunch of 20yr olds ladies? I'm 28 but a few a are younger then me, but then you got two 40yr olds and three 60-70yr olds. I have a hard time calling me a women or lady, that must mean I'm getting old :( Anyways side tracked with the age difference, If I'm a follower but I talk a lot that still makes me an introvert right? My husband is a ENTJ. He definitely can come off as rude but I know he's not, He is a leader and has a hard time with bosses an when he worked at a job with a boss he always in his office telling him how to do his job. My husband though is quitter then I am, he can not keep up with me. He's constantly thinking of ways too make money and can take computers and phone apart and put them back together like its natural. He also owns his own roofing business and if he's not working he's finding things in our garage to sale. He's literally a sales man and a manipulator but he denies it, but I am too if I don't get my way I can make him feel bad or make sense of something too turn it around on him so I can get my way. I'm working on it though bc I don't want to be a manipulator, but I'm only like that with him I don't see me being that way with anyone else.
 

Icefire

New member
Joined
Dec 6, 2016
Messages
22
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w5
You sound ISFP (& I am married to one).

Read this and see if you relate: [ISFP] Recognizing the Inferior Function in ISFPs

Here is the ESFP one so you can see the difference: http://www.typologycentral.com/foru...itive-functions/29154-form-inferior-esps.html

The key to happiness for ISFPs is living up to their values in accordance with your environment. They need to find ways to find peace and harmony and love without too much stress. Unfortunately, they seem to find themselves in stressful situations, which leaves them angry and critical.

Therapy could be very helpful. I wish my wife would go, as she struggles with her stress.

Any idea of your husband's type?

Okay sorry I read both forums you linked now I'm even more confused bc both of those sound like me. I guess I'm both? Is there a such thing? I'm definitely a SFP but the beginning letter seriously has me lost.
 

SearchingforPeace

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 9, 2015
Messages
5,711
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Okay sorry I read both forums you linked now I'm even more confused bc both of those sound like me. I guess I'm both? Is there a such thing? I'm definitely a SFP but the beginning letter seriously has me lost.

My wife is an ISFP and she has a ESFP sister. What are the differences?

Her sister is very light and silly most of the time, though she is very capable of doing things when she puts her mind to it, but doing that kind of thing just doesn't matter to her. She would rather enjoy life and do what she feels like in this particular moment and almost never thinks about the future.

As such, my SIL is all about making herself feel good in that moment. When she works and feels like working, she actually is amazingly efficient and capable. At one job, they moved her into management in just a week after starting because she could get things organized and is a very good people person. But she usually is very short-sighted.

She sometimes gets very nasty and mean when playful, laughing it off as a joke. Both her husbands have been strong introverts.

My wife is much more motivated by her values. If she feels something is important, she will move mountains to make sure it happens. She is incredibly gifted and understanding spatial problems (she is the only person I know better than me at loading a moving truck and I have helped hundreds of people with that and people are very impressed about my skills in the area).

She can be organized, but it takes a lot of effort, as if it is more of a goal she is trying to reach rather than a natural condition. And she is very inefficient, unlike a ESTJ. For example, she was preparing a document that only 1 person would ever look at and they would glance at it for a few seconds. She spent 11 hours making it perfect rather than 10 minutes getting it done.

My wife, at first glance is an extrovert---she is full of life and enjoys social activities. However, she is not energized by them, instead is drained by social activities. A long talk with a friend she is supporting leaves her exhausted. She needs a lot more sleep.

So, again, it is important to understand how you are when you are really stressed out and overwhelmed (in the grip). This really helps clarify one's type.

If someone starts fault-finding with everyone around them and getting annoyed by all the small stuff, acting like your husband on a really bad day, then that person is like a Fi dom, rather than a Fi aux.

If someone starts having internal confusion and grandiose visions and false meanings of basic things, then it sounds a lot more like a ESFP in the grip.
 

Icefire

New member
Joined
Dec 6, 2016
Messages
22
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w5
My wife is an ISFP and she has a ESFP sister. What are the differences? Her sister is very light and silly most of the time, though she is very capable of doing things when she puts her mind to it, but doing that kind of thing just doesn't matter to her. She would rather enjoy life and do what she feels like in this particular moment and almost never thinks about the future. As such, my SIL is all about making herself feel good in that moment. When she works and feels like working, she actually is amazingly efficient and capable. At one job, they moved her into management in just a week after starting because she could get things organized and is a very good people person. But she usually is very short-sighted. She sometimes gets very nasty and mean when playful, laughing it off as a joke. Both her husbands have been strong introverts. My wife is much more motivated by her values. If she feels something is important, she will move mountains to make sure it happens. She is incredibly gifted and understanding spatial problems (she is the only person I know better than me at loading a moving truck and I have helped hundreds of people with that and people are very impressed about my skills in the area). She can be organized, but it takes a lot of effort, as if it is more of a goal she is trying to reach rather than a natural condition. And she is very inefficient, unlike a ESTJ. For example, she was preparing a document that only 1 person would ever look at and they would glance at it for a few seconds. She spent 11 hours making it perfect rather than 10 minutes getting it done. My wife, at first glance is an extrovert---she is full of life and enjoys social activities. However, she is not energized by them, instead is drained by social activities. A long talk with a friend she is supporting leaves her exhausted. She needs a lot more sleep. So, again, it is important to understand how you are when you are really stressed out and overwhelmed (in the grip). This really helps clarify one's type. If someone starts fault-finding with everyone around them and getting annoyed by all the small stuff, acting like your husband on a really bad day, then that person is like a Fi dom, rather than a Fi aux. If someone starts having internal confusion and grandiose visions and false meanings of basic things, then it sounds a lot more like a ESFP in the grip.


I think im more Isfp then. A friend came over the other day an she talks more then I do, I was exhausted when she left. I just thought I was Esfp bc I can be the life of the party, the clown who makes everyone laugh, but I guess that was the past an me being drunk. Yes I'm definitely a isfp, I've been taking phentermine from doctors for energy bc I'm so tired all the time but honestly think they make me bipolar. I'll get all hyped up on energy an when around positive people I get energy from them an have a great day, but unlike today I got a bunch of energy an told my mom I'm going go visit my dad and they hate each other so I get the best of it setting me off with negative emotions through out the day. I think we all have a little bit of traits of all personality but some will be stronger then others in a person, right??
As far as your wife, if she is anything like me I get stressed out with my husband if I don't feel like he loves me. Actions speak louder then words an would love my husband to show his love more then say it. It would make my day if I can just have one conversation with him without feeling like he is accusing me of something or trying to fix a problem I didn't think I had, I would love someone to relate too an just hear me out an have eye to eye conversations. When I first met him I told him don't ever buy me flowers bc they die an are expensive, but honestly I LOVE flowers, an buy them for myself on holidays. I thought he would pay attention an notice I do want them from time to time but no after 6yrs he dont get it. I finally told him something after getting hurt an mad about it so he bought me some cheap ones from a convenient store 😕. I'm trying to understand people are not like me, I watch others an pay attention to them and their likes, I guess I expect people to be like me. I'm finding out after 20yrs that people are very different from me and people keep telling me they can't read my mind so I need to speak up. My friends husband took their kids to a sitters house and him an his wife went out to eat and got a hotel as a date night for each other, I was so jealous of that. I want to be showed that I'm loved not told it..
Don't get me wrong though, my husband will test me all day long random stuff like I love you so much and I miss you, I can't wait to be home with you. I'm seeing thats being his way of showing his love are through words an trying to be more compassionate about it rather then expecting him to do special things for me. My standards are high, I expect a lot out of people and through all this personality testing I'm noticing that my expectations of people are unrealistic 🙁. I can say though all women do want the same thing and that's to know they are loved by their husbands and that they are number one in their lives, I know men want respect from their wives and want to know they can make independent decisions for their family without their wives trampoline all over them. Women are drivin by love but bc of different personalities will want it differently then as another women would. Treat a woman with love she will blossom and willing want to respect her husband. She will go beyond boundaries to please her man, an if an isfp she will show it through her actions..
Do u think ur wife has changed over the years or your will to impress her has changed? Men some day will get it an have a wonderful peaceful marriage as for others will get mad and frustrated an sometimes end in a nasty divorce. Anyways I'm rambling again on here lol. I hope I can get others figured out so I can be a better person for them an not get upset with them bc I'm hurt by their actions... fingers crossed 🤞
 

SearchingforPeace

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 9, 2015
Messages
5,711
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I think im more Isfp then. A friend came over the other day an she talks more then I do, I was exhausted when she left. I just thought I was Esfp bc I can be the life of the party, the clown who makes everyone laugh, but I guess that was the past an me being drunk. Yes I'm definitely a isfp, I've been taking phentermine from doctors for energy bc I'm so tired all the time but honestly think they make me bipolar. I'll get all hyped up on energy an when around positive people I get energy from them an have a great day, but unlike today I got a bunch of energy an told my mom I'm going go visit my dad and they hate each other so I get the best of it setting me off with negative emotions through out the day. I think we all have a little bit of traits of all personality but some will be stronger then others in a person, right??
As far as your wife, if she is anything like me I get stressed out with my husband if I don't feel like he loves me. Actions speak louder then words an would love my husband to show his love more then say it. It would make my day if I can just have one conversation with him without feeling like he is accusing me of something or trying to fix a problem I didn't think I had, I would love someone to relate too an just hear me out an have eye to eye conversations. When I first met him I told him don't ever buy me flowers bc they die an are expensive, but honestly I LOVE flowers, an buy them for myself on holidays. I thought he would pay attention an notice I do want them from time to time but no after 6yrs he dont get it. I finally told him something after getting hurt an mad about it so he bought me some cheap ones from a convenient store 😕. I'm trying to understand people are not like me, I watch others an pay attention to them and their likes, I guess I expect people to be like me. I'm finding out after 20yrs that people are very different from me and people keep telling me they can't read my mind so I need to speak up. My friends husband took their kids to a sitters house and him an his wife went out to eat and got a hotel as a date night for each other, I was so jealous of that. I want to be showed that I'm loved not told it..
Don't get me wrong though, my husband will test me all day long random stuff like I love you so much and I miss you, I can't wait to be home with you. I'm seeing thats being his way of showing his love are through words an trying to be more compassionate about it rather then expecting him to do special things for me. My standards are high, I expect a lot out of people and through all this personality testing I'm noticing that my expectations of people are unrealistic 🙁. I can say though all women do want the same thing and that's to know they are loved by their husbands and that they are number one in their lives, I know men want respect from their wives and want to know they can make independent decisions for their family without their wives trampoline all over them. Women are drivin by love but bc of different personalities will want it differently then as another women would. Treat a woman with love she will blossom and willing want to respect her husband. She will go beyond boundaries to please her man, an if an isfp she will show it through her actions..
Do u think ur wife has changed over the years or your will to impress her has changed? Men some day will get it an have a wonderful peaceful marriage as for others will get mad and frustrated an sometimes end in a nasty divorce. Anyways I'm rambling again on here lol. I hope I can get others figured out so I can be a better person for them an not get upset with them bc I'm hurt by their actions... fingers crossed 🤞

My wife does love when I buy her favorite flowers.:D

As to our marriage, it has its ups and downs. We are currently going up, but we had a long bad section (we have been married over 20 years).

I am definitely a loving and affectionate guy....but our marriage is still surviving some horrorific challenges...

My wife has made my life "interesting and challenging"......
 

Icefire

New member
Joined
Dec 6, 2016
Messages
22
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w5
My wife does love when I buy her favorite flowers.:D As to our marriage, it has its ups and downs. We are currently going up, but we had a long bad section (we have been married over 20 years). I am definitely a loving and affectionate guy....but our marriage is still surviving some horrorific challenges... My wife has made my life "interesting and challenging"......
I think all women can make life challenging. I watch some of the elders at church, one women's son got sent home from college and she was very upset. Her husband knows her way too well so he sent her with me an another girl from church to a ladies vacation retreat to get away for a little bit, during that time he and his son had a heart to heart about some of the decisions in life he was making. He knew his wife was emotional about the situation an needed her out of the way so he can reach out to his son, his son humbly summitted to his dads authority an will be going to bible college instead. He's even exited too go, his wife (my friend) is a very strong independent women who is a princable at a school an also the one willing to put together events for our church. I rarely never see her cry bc she is hurt by someone else's actions, I do see her cry when she is touched by compassion of a story or event that gives others hope. She is unselfish an has been someone I look up too, but even the strongest of all women can cause chaos in the home.

Im loving that me and my husband are different from each other, how boring would our marriage be if I was just like him or how aggravating it would be if he was as selfish as me. He has taught me a lot and how too look at life in a positive way. He is very outgoing and don't really think about consequences of his actions so I remind him. We are different so we can help each other for the better. We don't always see eye to eye on things but we work through it an come to an agreement. That or he waits till I think about my attitude then ill go an apologize or just straight out tell him he is right an do things his way. He is patient like that as I am crazy an dramatic. I make life a challenge for him but not on purpose, I'm just emotionally unstable.

Can a ISFP change? Can my personality change? Will I always be emotionally unstable or can I change? I'm getting the view that ISFPs are emotional and go through life based on how we are feeling. I don't want that, I want to change.
 

Icefire

New member
Joined
Dec 6, 2016
Messages
22
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w5
My wife does love when I buy her favorite flowers.:D As to our marriage, it has its ups and downs.




Not sure if you believe in a God or not but if it helps any I will pray for you and your spouse to continue too stay on an upward path and whatever has happened to forgive and have peace with one another so you can live in harmony. If I've over stepped any boundaries I do however apologize, I know not everyone believes but this is my way of helping.
 

SearchingforPeace

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 9, 2015
Messages
5,711
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I think all women can make life challenging. I watch some of the elders at church, one women's son got sent home from college and she was very upset. Her husband knows her way too well so he sent her with me an another girl from church to a ladies vacation retreat to get away for a little bit, during that time he and his son had a heart to heart about some of the decisions in life he was making. He knew his wife was emotional about the situation an needed her out of the way so he can reach out to his son, his son humbly summitted to his dads authority an will be going to bible college instead. He's even exited too go, his wife (my friend) is a very strong independent women who is a princable at a school an also the one willing to put together events for our church. I rarely never see her cry bc she is hurt by someone else's actions, I do see her cry when she is touched by compassion of a story or event that gives others hope. She is unselfish an has been someone I look up too, but even the strongest of all women can cause chaos in the home.

Im loving that me and my husband are different from each other, how boring would our marriage be if I was just like him or how aggravating it would be if he was as selfish as me. He has taught me a lot and how too look at life in a positive way. He is very outgoing and don't really think about consequences of his actions so I remind him. We are different so we can help each other for the better. We don't always see eye to eye on things but we work through it an come to an agreement. That or he waits till I think about my attitude then ill go an apologize or just straight out tell him he is right an do things his way. He is patient like that as I am crazy an dramatic. I make life a challenge for him but not on purpose, I'm just emotionally unstable.

Can a ISFP change? Can my personality change? Will I always be emotionally unstable or can I change? I'm getting the view that ISFPs are emotional and go through life based on how we are feeling. I don't want that, I want to change.

Everyone can evolve. A ISFP can change. They mature. They develop their Ni and Te. They can turn Fi outward until they can use it almost like Fe.

My wife has changed a ton. She is an amazing person. She has some real struggles, but she is growing.

Feeling isn't just emotions. Feelings are rational. Emotions are merely signals. much like sensory input. Fi is far deeper and more profound than mere emotion. Developed Fi doms are pilars of strength that move the world to a better place. They automatically understand they way the world around them should be. They are forces of nature or guiding lights.

When my wife fully engages her Fi, it is like a fire in front of me. It is absolutely beautiful. She engages with people at a deep and powerful level. I just can do not justice to how powerful a fully engaged Fi dom appears to me.

From the first time I saw my wife, I was drawn to her. She is the strongest willed person I know.

Change isn't easy for ISFPs. But real change isn't easy for anyone.
 

SearchingforPeace

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 9, 2015
Messages
5,711
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Not sure if you believe in a God or not but if it helps any I will pray for you and your spouse to continue too stay on an upward path and whatever has happened to forgive and have peace with one another so you can live in harmony. If I've over stepped any boundaries I do however apologize, I know not everyone believes but this is my way of helping.

Thank you.

All I can say is where we are today and where we were 18 months ago when I joined here are two very different places. And it has been a miracle.

So thank you for your prayers. I will pray for you as well.
 
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