SodaDrops
New member
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2016
- Messages
- 18
- MBTI Type
- INFP
- Enneagram
- 6w5
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/so
I'm not new to MBTI, nor Enneagram. I think my grasp on both is fairly decent, but not great. To preface: I'm an INFP 6w7/4w3/9w? (I'm leaning more on w8). The stacking I've been identifying with presently is sp/so.
The first stacking I self-identified with is sx/so. I changed my mind after my friends pointed out that I have too much awareness of what I need and my wellbeing to be sp blind. I think it made sense to be sp first, and have either sx or so coloring how I used sp. I then identified as sp/sx or sx/sp, being fairly certain I had sx either as my first or second. I asked for the opinions of my friends once again, and they said they felt like my fixation with pleasing certain people outside those who were of immediate importance (i.e. them, being my closest friends) didn't make sense if I was so blind.
An interesting talk I had with my sp/sx friend is that they said they didn't understand why the opinions of those outside their close friend group mattered. They were afraid of doing things that would possibly cause us to leave them while I on the other hand, felt cemented in my friend group, and therefore less concerned with my image within the group. I felt like I already established who I was, and that my friends were going to continue liking me unless my personality did a 180. I cared about the opinions of people outside because I was afraid of giving them bad impressions, of turning them off from talking to me before we got to reach a level of closeness. Although, most people I tend to be anxious about I don't even intend on getting closer.
My other sx/so friend once asked me, "do we not count?" when I pondered whether or not I'd find someone to love. It's not like I don't love my friends, but the happiness I get around them feels comforting and mellow, whereas the happiness I get around people who I'm distant with but interested in is very intense. Again, she seemed to be confused by how it seemed that I cared about others more than my close friends. I care about the happiness and wellbeing of my friends. I care about their emotional and material needs. With others, I care about how they perceive me.
This is what caused me to identify as sp/so. People who were sx first or second did not seem to understand where my sentiments were coming from. Another contributor of id'ing as sp/so was not being able to pinpoint many passions in my life. I have interests, as normal people do, but it honestly felt like I lacked things I could focus on in my life. I'm very bad at explaining this, as I tried with a friend once and they only vaguely understood what I meant. When I was young, I was obsessed with finding what the terms "dream job" meant to me. I still don't know. Anything that was financially fulfilling felt hollow to me, and I could never imagine being an artist. I seemed to find areas of emptiness no matter what I came up with.
On the other hand, I don't feel like I would be miserable without things like a dream job. I could be okay with not getting my choice college. I could be okay majoring in something I wasn't too particularly interested in. But I feel like that is a result of being sp first. I read a lot of sx last descriptions describing them as people who have no real friends, but I really don't feel like the deep connection I've developed with my friends are fake. I also haven't had another person enter the level of closeness I have with my close friend for three years. I'm fairly closed off in my circle of people I truly have a deep relation with.
That first sp/sx friend pointed out that my phobic 6ness may come off as being a social variant. My intense anxieties about whether or not people like me may just come from my core 6ness more than anything.
What are you guys's opinions?
The first stacking I self-identified with is sx/so. I changed my mind after my friends pointed out that I have too much awareness of what I need and my wellbeing to be sp blind. I think it made sense to be sp first, and have either sx or so coloring how I used sp. I then identified as sp/sx or sx/sp, being fairly certain I had sx either as my first or second. I asked for the opinions of my friends once again, and they said they felt like my fixation with pleasing certain people outside those who were of immediate importance (i.e. them, being my closest friends) didn't make sense if I was so blind.
An interesting talk I had with my sp/sx friend is that they said they didn't understand why the opinions of those outside their close friend group mattered. They were afraid of doing things that would possibly cause us to leave them while I on the other hand, felt cemented in my friend group, and therefore less concerned with my image within the group. I felt like I already established who I was, and that my friends were going to continue liking me unless my personality did a 180. I cared about the opinions of people outside because I was afraid of giving them bad impressions, of turning them off from talking to me before we got to reach a level of closeness. Although, most people I tend to be anxious about I don't even intend on getting closer.
My other sx/so friend once asked me, "do we not count?" when I pondered whether or not I'd find someone to love. It's not like I don't love my friends, but the happiness I get around them feels comforting and mellow, whereas the happiness I get around people who I'm distant with but interested in is very intense. Again, she seemed to be confused by how it seemed that I cared about others more than my close friends. I care about the happiness and wellbeing of my friends. I care about their emotional and material needs. With others, I care about how they perceive me.
This is what caused me to identify as sp/so. People who were sx first or second did not seem to understand where my sentiments were coming from. Another contributor of id'ing as sp/so was not being able to pinpoint many passions in my life. I have interests, as normal people do, but it honestly felt like I lacked things I could focus on in my life. I'm very bad at explaining this, as I tried with a friend once and they only vaguely understood what I meant. When I was young, I was obsessed with finding what the terms "dream job" meant to me. I still don't know. Anything that was financially fulfilling felt hollow to me, and I could never imagine being an artist. I seemed to find areas of emptiness no matter what I came up with.
On the other hand, I don't feel like I would be miserable without things like a dream job. I could be okay with not getting my choice college. I could be okay majoring in something I wasn't too particularly interested in. But I feel like that is a result of being sp first. I read a lot of sx last descriptions describing them as people who have no real friends, but I really don't feel like the deep connection I've developed with my friends are fake. I also haven't had another person enter the level of closeness I have with my close friend for three years. I'm fairly closed off in my circle of people I truly have a deep relation with.
That first sp/sx friend pointed out that my phobic 6ness may come off as being a social variant. My intense anxieties about whether or not people like me may just come from my core 6ness more than anything.
What are you guys's opinions?
