AnnexInTheSky
New member
- Joined
- Aug 24, 2016
- Messages
- 11
- MBTI Type
- ISFP
- Enneagram
- 9w8
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
Okay, so I'm going to post this here and hopefully people can help me determine my Enneagram core type for sure.
0. What's making you unsure of your type? What research have you already done to determine type?
I've done a lot of research. I thought I was a 9w1 but I really could be a 6. 946 is my tritype (the triple doubting tritype, a lot of fun) but I want to know my core type. From the descriptions I've read it seems like 9s don't really experience anxiety, but I really do have anxiety at times and doubt myself (especially when it comes to personality types) CONSTANTLY. I thought I was a 4 or a 5 before but I've eliminated them because while I could relate to them on a superficial level, the core fears/wounds/etc. I couldn't relate to. Like the 4's envy: I envy people at times that can easily make friends and have attention on them because I am socially anxious and it frightens me to even say "hi" to someone, but it's not the major "sin" in my life, so to speak. I still relate to other parts of type 4 so it is my heart-fix (but when I do tests I usually score highest on 4, followed by 9, 6, 5, 7) The 5's way of dealing with emotions (detaching from them I believe) also doesn't resonate with me.‎ Also I think my instinctual variants are sx/sp, but it honestly confuses me and I don't really put any effort into understanding it.‎
1. Establish a "baseline mood"--when you're at home with nothing to do, where are you at mentally and emotionally? What do you notice in yourself? (Note, this is not a mood you inhabit "frequently", but your psychological baseline).
I tend to daydream and zone out. I think of things that happened that day and people I like. I'm really in my head and generally detached from my surroundings to an extent. I tend to zone out and go numb without realizing it.‎
2. Describe yourself--
a. What's it like to be you?
To be honest, I'm nothing special. Being me would be pretty boring I think. This is a broad question too though. I guess I'm really not that boring that I think I am? I don't know. I have somewhat obscure interests that I indulge in and I keep to myself. Around other people I'm generally shy and anti-social looking and quiet, but I think I'm pleasant to talk to once you get to know me... I try to be kind and empathetic I'm also pretty sarcastic and biting at times (but only with people I'm comfortable being that way with, which is probably not a good thing). Maybe I'm not really a 9 because I can get really prickly. I can get anxious and I'm worried about my safety (I'm a bit cautious) and I've had hypochondriac episodes too. I'm SUPER lazy and unambitious--I want to be a translator I guess but I really don't have a life plan; I just assume it'll work out on its on. I'm a huge procrastinator and while I know I have work to do I tend to ignore it and focus on anything else but work. It is REALLY hard to have the motivation to do things. I am also very loyal and tend to value relationships with people highly. I hate conflict and don't like to talk about distressing things. I have some problems with depersonalization/derealization but no real official diagnosis. I can be pretty pedantic (I used to be a HUGE grammar Nazi and I still get uneasy over a missing period) and hate when people spread misinformation. I sometimes correct people even though I hate doing it and feel that it makes me look unapproachable and overly serious, so I try to be as polite as possible. I am also absent-minded and scatter-brained, and I forget pretty much everything. xD
b. What have others said about you
They tend to say I'm intelligent, but I really don't feel that way. I've been called calm and collected, and said to have strong morals. The bad things I've been called (mostly by my mom) are lazy, careless, stupid, selfish, mean, oversensitive, overdramatic, and always wanting to take the easy way out.
c. What do you think of yourself?
I have pretty poor self-esteem. I think of myself as invisible and overlooked. I could be better overall.‎
3. What are the issues you've dealt with in life? List some recurrent themes, and tell us a little about each one.
Like I said above, poor self-esteem and social anxiety. I have barely any close friends in regular contact, and I don't want to initiate contact with the friends I do have for fear of being annoying or clingy. I barely have any friends in school. It started when in grade 1 I asked someone if she wanted to play with me and she said no. She was pretty mean to be throughout the year. The effects lasted a long time though... In middle school I had a phase where I was like "pfft, friends? I don't need them" and I was pretty edgy I think. Thankfully I've grown out of that but I still have a lot of anxiety. I used to be anxious posting on Internet forums even but now I'm posting this so... (but when I get replies I worry about whether they're going to say something good or not!).‎
4. You're not good at everything--
a. What personality traits and/or ways of being are impossible for you to adopt?
I can't ever imagine myself as a loud, boisterous party animal, or someone who would be intentionally cruel to others and not regret it afterwards. I also can't ever discipline myself without veering away from the list/schedule to do something else more interesting.
b. What are qualities you'd like to have, but can't seem to develop?
I would like to be more confident and outspoken but I'm absolutely stumped how to. I also want to not be so affected by criticism. I have this thing where if someone I don't even know criticizes something I like, I feel guilty for having a different opinion from them, but if I do something else I eventually forget and keep my old opinion.
5. Why have you left friends and other relationships in the past and/or why have they left you?
I haven't had many friends and I have never had a romantic relationship, but like I said earlier I am too anxious to talk to distant friends because I worry if I am annoying or clingy when I eventually want to spend more time with them. I haven't had any major falling out or anything but I think people tend to avoid me because I look anti-social and gloomy (which I tend to hate myself for).‎
6. Which types do you identify with most?
Types 9, 6, 4, and 5 (and a little bit of 1 and 7)
a. How do you relate to these types?
Maybe stereotypical but...
Type 9: Easygoing, peaceful, conflict avoidant, looking for peace of mind, lazy, merging with others, fear of separation, have a lot of anger inside, try to suppress negative emotions and "numb out", seeing all sides of conflict and empathizing with all sides, uses a lot of ambiguous language like probably/maybe/I guess, don't like speaking up except when very angry, try to see the bright side, absent-minded and forgetful
Type 6: Anxious, have trust issues, ambivalent, doubting/unsure of myself, can't always trust the flow, want to be safe and secure, confused by differing opinions, even when blissful might slightly worry at times, like to play devil's advocate to see how others react, can be high-strung
Type 4: Emotional, creative, can be dramatic, introspective, place a lot of importance on feelings, like to be special (yeah I know I said I was boring, but I think I slightly feel this way), self-conscious, self-indulgent, like to be individual, aware of feelings (but that might be a Fi thing?), a lot of internal shame
Type 5: Intellectual, precise, preoccupied with thoughts, a bit quirky, fear of being incompetent, love to learn, interested in unusual things
Type 1: Perfectionistic, critical of oneself (and when in a bad mood, others), morally principled
Type 7: Fun-loving, can be spontaneous, quick-minded, want to experience things
b. How do you NOT relate to them?
Type 9: I don't totally like going along with what other people say. If I disagree with the majority on something I feel strongly about I won't go with the majority, but maybe I'll consider it a bit depending on the situation... a little bit. I also don't overidentify with others... I think.
Type 6: I'm not always looking for "everything that could go wrong" and sometimes I absorb information too easily without questioning it. I don't always worry about everything that I should be worrying about; I seem to trust that everything will work out.
Type 4: Reading about them they seem very intense (but I know that not all 4s are exactly like that) and I don't think I'm like that. I don't deliberately amplify my emotions. Traumatic things might not affect me right away, and the feelings come later.
Type 1: While I do have high standards for myself, I don't necessarily commit to fulfilling those standards. Too lazy >_< except I try to be very responsible when it comes to other people's needs.‎
Type 7: Pretty much everything else about it.‎
7. Which types are least like you?
Types 2, 3, and 8‎
a. Why specifically do you not relate to these types?
Type 2: I don't like to control others or manipulate them. I'm not overbearing (I try very hard not to be) and I don't always sacrifice myself for others, or care about them.
Type 3: Pretty much everything about it. I'm not ambitious or driven, and I'm not overly concerned with image (I just want to be kind to others). I HATE attention (but maybe secretly desire it). I am also not materalistic. This is the type I fundamentally do not relate to.
Type 8: I'm not confident or assertive. I hate controlling others (unless I'm angry). I don't have a temper ‎and I usually don't have any energy. I am very vulnerable looking too.
b. What points (if any) DO you relate to?
Type 2: I want to love and be loved. I like to make other people happy and put them first. Even though I thought I was self-absorbed because I often am by myself I really do care about other people.‎
Type 3: But still... I don't want to be worthless. I want to be valued by others.
Type 8: I don't want to be controlled by others.
8. They claim enneagram type is a hidden love need. What are your attitudes toward finding love?
I just want someone who will unconditionally love me, maybe someone who's secure and easygoing. As long as I have good friends whom I have a lot of fun and good times with I'd be happy. But I have trust issues and I doubt people's motives. I even had a whole paranoia thing going on and worrying about everyone being sociopaths or something but thankfully that didn't last too long. I tend to trust someone until they give me reason not to, but I still wonder about hypothetical situations where they betray me (this is one of the main reasons I might be a 6).
9. What is the message your superego tells you?
I'm not entirely sure, but it might say: "You're not good enough. You're worthless. Better to do nothing than to do anything at all because you'll screw it up and feel bad about yourself. Oh, and nobody loves you and thinks you're weird."
Consider a time when you felt poorly about yourself--this means your ego (i.e. YOU) is receiving negative feedback from your superego. Write a conversation between the two of them--what is your superego telling you about how to be? (Note: this obviously is very personal and may be better done privately. Report your findings).
Since I'm lazy I'm not going to answer this question... I guess the superego would say something similar to the above though.‎
For the following, rank the issues in the order they apply and give a brief description of why and how you relate.
10. Determine your ego ideal--the way you strive to be and want others to perceive you. (Note, you may be consciously aware of failing at this, and you will be hard on yourself if you do. If someone else tells you you're NOT this way, it may make you feel hurt, violated, or angry.)
Which of the following ideals resonate with you the most, and why? Rank them.
1. to be "okay", having it together (definitely this)
2. to be loving and benevolent
3. to be a lovable person
3. to strive to become/behave like a good person (tie)
5. to be devoted and loyal to a person or cause
6. to be sensitive, original, unique, and creative
7. to be knowledgeable
8. to be powerful, strong, unassailable.
9. to be accomplished and successful
11. Determine your "felt sense" of life. To do this it may help to look at how you perceive events. Another way to do this is to look back at your childhood and think of all the things your parents did to you. How did you/do you feel about these events?
From the list, I relate most to feeling weak and feeling rejectable. I am very vulnerable and I think that I would be a good target for predators, so I have a bit of a wall up. But still, I have that feeling that everything will work out... tangent aside, I also feel unimportant, like my needs don't deserve to be fulfilled. I have an overwhelming sense of guilt from asserting my needs. I also don't feel good enough and I feel incompetent and powerless to change anything. I even have small periods of feeling hopeless (which, in my opinion, is the worst feeling).‎
12. Core fears. You may have been aware of these fears even as a very small child, before anyone did anything to influence it. You'd be mortified to be in this position or have others perceive you this way.
Discuss which fears have played the greatest role in your life.
Fear of conflict is pretty huge. When I was a kid, whenever my parents would fight or were angry with me, I would lock myself in the bathroom, and then eventually come out when the situation was clear or I got bored. In grade 8 I had serious outbursts of anger in front of the whole class, in which I promptly ran to the storage closet to hide. I would hide there often because I was so stressed. Whenever I'm angry I cry, run away and hide somewhere until I've dealt with my negative feelings. It's probably not the best habit though. I also fear being misunderstood or not taken seriously, and I definitely fear being hated and unlovable.
--
‎
When I think about it and look over what I wrote... it seems like I indeed I am a 9w1. But I feel I need the confirmation from other people, because I'm going to keep doubting myself (sorry about that). The fact that I've devoted a lot of brainpower just to figure out my MBTI type, then Enneagram type because of constant waffling probably screams 6 though. So yeah I'm actually not sure. But then again we are all individuals who won't fit perfectly in an impersonal model.‎
‎
If this isn't enough I'll add more. Thanks for reading my rambling.
‎
0. What's making you unsure of your type? What research have you already done to determine type?
I've done a lot of research. I thought I was a 9w1 but I really could be a 6. 946 is my tritype (the triple doubting tritype, a lot of fun) but I want to know my core type. From the descriptions I've read it seems like 9s don't really experience anxiety, but I really do have anxiety at times and doubt myself (especially when it comes to personality types) CONSTANTLY. I thought I was a 4 or a 5 before but I've eliminated them because while I could relate to them on a superficial level, the core fears/wounds/etc. I couldn't relate to. Like the 4's envy: I envy people at times that can easily make friends and have attention on them because I am socially anxious and it frightens me to even say "hi" to someone, but it's not the major "sin" in my life, so to speak. I still relate to other parts of type 4 so it is my heart-fix (but when I do tests I usually score highest on 4, followed by 9, 6, 5, 7) The 5's way of dealing with emotions (detaching from them I believe) also doesn't resonate with me.‎ Also I think my instinctual variants are sx/sp, but it honestly confuses me and I don't really put any effort into understanding it.‎
1. Establish a "baseline mood"--when you're at home with nothing to do, where are you at mentally and emotionally? What do you notice in yourself? (Note, this is not a mood you inhabit "frequently", but your psychological baseline).
I tend to daydream and zone out. I think of things that happened that day and people I like. I'm really in my head and generally detached from my surroundings to an extent. I tend to zone out and go numb without realizing it.‎
2. Describe yourself--
a. What's it like to be you?
To be honest, I'm nothing special. Being me would be pretty boring I think. This is a broad question too though. I guess I'm really not that boring that I think I am? I don't know. I have somewhat obscure interests that I indulge in and I keep to myself. Around other people I'm generally shy and anti-social looking and quiet, but I think I'm pleasant to talk to once you get to know me... I try to be kind and empathetic I'm also pretty sarcastic and biting at times (but only with people I'm comfortable being that way with, which is probably not a good thing). Maybe I'm not really a 9 because I can get really prickly. I can get anxious and I'm worried about my safety (I'm a bit cautious) and I've had hypochondriac episodes too. I'm SUPER lazy and unambitious--I want to be a translator I guess but I really don't have a life plan; I just assume it'll work out on its on. I'm a huge procrastinator and while I know I have work to do I tend to ignore it and focus on anything else but work. It is REALLY hard to have the motivation to do things. I am also very loyal and tend to value relationships with people highly. I hate conflict and don't like to talk about distressing things. I have some problems with depersonalization/derealization but no real official diagnosis. I can be pretty pedantic (I used to be a HUGE grammar Nazi and I still get uneasy over a missing period) and hate when people spread misinformation. I sometimes correct people even though I hate doing it and feel that it makes me look unapproachable and overly serious, so I try to be as polite as possible. I am also absent-minded and scatter-brained, and I forget pretty much everything. xD
b. What have others said about you
They tend to say I'm intelligent, but I really don't feel that way. I've been called calm and collected, and said to have strong morals. The bad things I've been called (mostly by my mom) are lazy, careless, stupid, selfish, mean, oversensitive, overdramatic, and always wanting to take the easy way out.
c. What do you think of yourself?
I have pretty poor self-esteem. I think of myself as invisible and overlooked. I could be better overall.‎
3. What are the issues you've dealt with in life? List some recurrent themes, and tell us a little about each one.
Like I said above, poor self-esteem and social anxiety. I have barely any close friends in regular contact, and I don't want to initiate contact with the friends I do have for fear of being annoying or clingy. I barely have any friends in school. It started when in grade 1 I asked someone if she wanted to play with me and she said no. She was pretty mean to be throughout the year. The effects lasted a long time though... In middle school I had a phase where I was like "pfft, friends? I don't need them" and I was pretty edgy I think. Thankfully I've grown out of that but I still have a lot of anxiety. I used to be anxious posting on Internet forums even but now I'm posting this so... (but when I get replies I worry about whether they're going to say something good or not!).‎
4. You're not good at everything--
a. What personality traits and/or ways of being are impossible for you to adopt?
I can't ever imagine myself as a loud, boisterous party animal, or someone who would be intentionally cruel to others and not regret it afterwards. I also can't ever discipline myself without veering away from the list/schedule to do something else more interesting.
b. What are qualities you'd like to have, but can't seem to develop?
I would like to be more confident and outspoken but I'm absolutely stumped how to. I also want to not be so affected by criticism. I have this thing where if someone I don't even know criticizes something I like, I feel guilty for having a different opinion from them, but if I do something else I eventually forget and keep my old opinion.
5. Why have you left friends and other relationships in the past and/or why have they left you?
I haven't had many friends and I have never had a romantic relationship, but like I said earlier I am too anxious to talk to distant friends because I worry if I am annoying or clingy when I eventually want to spend more time with them. I haven't had any major falling out or anything but I think people tend to avoid me because I look anti-social and gloomy (which I tend to hate myself for).‎
6. Which types do you identify with most?
Types 9, 6, 4, and 5 (and a little bit of 1 and 7)
a. How do you relate to these types?
Maybe stereotypical but...
Type 9: Easygoing, peaceful, conflict avoidant, looking for peace of mind, lazy, merging with others, fear of separation, have a lot of anger inside, try to suppress negative emotions and "numb out", seeing all sides of conflict and empathizing with all sides, uses a lot of ambiguous language like probably/maybe/I guess, don't like speaking up except when very angry, try to see the bright side, absent-minded and forgetful
Type 6: Anxious, have trust issues, ambivalent, doubting/unsure of myself, can't always trust the flow, want to be safe and secure, confused by differing opinions, even when blissful might slightly worry at times, like to play devil's advocate to see how others react, can be high-strung
Type 4: Emotional, creative, can be dramatic, introspective, place a lot of importance on feelings, like to be special (yeah I know I said I was boring, but I think I slightly feel this way), self-conscious, self-indulgent, like to be individual, aware of feelings (but that might be a Fi thing?), a lot of internal shame
Type 5: Intellectual, precise, preoccupied with thoughts, a bit quirky, fear of being incompetent, love to learn, interested in unusual things
Type 1: Perfectionistic, critical of oneself (and when in a bad mood, others), morally principled
Type 7: Fun-loving, can be spontaneous, quick-minded, want to experience things
b. How do you NOT relate to them?
Type 9: I don't totally like going along with what other people say. If I disagree with the majority on something I feel strongly about I won't go with the majority, but maybe I'll consider it a bit depending on the situation... a little bit. I also don't overidentify with others... I think.
Type 6: I'm not always looking for "everything that could go wrong" and sometimes I absorb information too easily without questioning it. I don't always worry about everything that I should be worrying about; I seem to trust that everything will work out.
Type 4: Reading about them they seem very intense (but I know that not all 4s are exactly like that) and I don't think I'm like that. I don't deliberately amplify my emotions. Traumatic things might not affect me right away, and the feelings come later.
Type 1: While I do have high standards for myself, I don't necessarily commit to fulfilling those standards. Too lazy >_< except I try to be very responsible when it comes to other people's needs.‎
Type 7: Pretty much everything else about it.‎
7. Which types are least like you?
Types 2, 3, and 8‎
a. Why specifically do you not relate to these types?
Type 2: I don't like to control others or manipulate them. I'm not overbearing (I try very hard not to be) and I don't always sacrifice myself for others, or care about them.
Type 3: Pretty much everything about it. I'm not ambitious or driven, and I'm not overly concerned with image (I just want to be kind to others). I HATE attention (but maybe secretly desire it). I am also not materalistic. This is the type I fundamentally do not relate to.
Type 8: I'm not confident or assertive. I hate controlling others (unless I'm angry). I don't have a temper ‎and I usually don't have any energy. I am very vulnerable looking too.
b. What points (if any) DO you relate to?
Type 2: I want to love and be loved. I like to make other people happy and put them first. Even though I thought I was self-absorbed because I often am by myself I really do care about other people.‎
Type 3: But still... I don't want to be worthless. I want to be valued by others.
Type 8: I don't want to be controlled by others.
8. They claim enneagram type is a hidden love need. What are your attitudes toward finding love?
I just want someone who will unconditionally love me, maybe someone who's secure and easygoing. As long as I have good friends whom I have a lot of fun and good times with I'd be happy. But I have trust issues and I doubt people's motives. I even had a whole paranoia thing going on and worrying about everyone being sociopaths or something but thankfully that didn't last too long. I tend to trust someone until they give me reason not to, but I still wonder about hypothetical situations where they betray me (this is one of the main reasons I might be a 6).
9. What is the message your superego tells you?
I'm not entirely sure, but it might say: "You're not good enough. You're worthless. Better to do nothing than to do anything at all because you'll screw it up and feel bad about yourself. Oh, and nobody loves you and thinks you're weird."
Consider a time when you felt poorly about yourself--this means your ego (i.e. YOU) is receiving negative feedback from your superego. Write a conversation between the two of them--what is your superego telling you about how to be? (Note: this obviously is very personal and may be better done privately. Report your findings).
Since I'm lazy I'm not going to answer this question... I guess the superego would say something similar to the above though.‎
For the following, rank the issues in the order they apply and give a brief description of why and how you relate.
10. Determine your ego ideal--the way you strive to be and want others to perceive you. (Note, you may be consciously aware of failing at this, and you will be hard on yourself if you do. If someone else tells you you're NOT this way, it may make you feel hurt, violated, or angry.)
Which of the following ideals resonate with you the most, and why? Rank them.
1. to be "okay", having it together (definitely this)
2. to be loving and benevolent
3. to be a lovable person
3. to strive to become/behave like a good person (tie)
5. to be devoted and loyal to a person or cause
6. to be sensitive, original, unique, and creative
7. to be knowledgeable
8. to be powerful, strong, unassailable.
9. to be accomplished and successful
11. Determine your "felt sense" of life. To do this it may help to look at how you perceive events. Another way to do this is to look back at your childhood and think of all the things your parents did to you. How did you/do you feel about these events?
From the list, I relate most to feeling weak and feeling rejectable. I am very vulnerable and I think that I would be a good target for predators, so I have a bit of a wall up. But still, I have that feeling that everything will work out... tangent aside, I also feel unimportant, like my needs don't deserve to be fulfilled. I have an overwhelming sense of guilt from asserting my needs. I also don't feel good enough and I feel incompetent and powerless to change anything. I even have small periods of feeling hopeless (which, in my opinion, is the worst feeling).‎
12. Core fears. You may have been aware of these fears even as a very small child, before anyone did anything to influence it. You'd be mortified to be in this position or have others perceive you this way.
Discuss which fears have played the greatest role in your life.
Fear of conflict is pretty huge. When I was a kid, whenever my parents would fight or were angry with me, I would lock myself in the bathroom, and then eventually come out when the situation was clear or I got bored. In grade 8 I had serious outbursts of anger in front of the whole class, in which I promptly ran to the storage closet to hide. I would hide there often because I was so stressed. Whenever I'm angry I cry, run away and hide somewhere until I've dealt with my negative feelings. It's probably not the best habit though. I also fear being misunderstood or not taken seriously, and I definitely fear being hated and unlovable.
--
‎
When I think about it and look over what I wrote... it seems like I indeed I am a 9w1. But I feel I need the confirmation from other people, because I'm going to keep doubting myself (sorry about that). The fact that I've devoted a lot of brainpower just to figure out my MBTI type, then Enneagram type because of constant waffling probably screams 6 though. So yeah I'm actually not sure. But then again we are all individuals who won't fit perfectly in an impersonal model.‎
‎
If this isn't enough I'll add more. Thanks for reading my rambling.
‎
