The mighty ESFJ?

[fetus]

I'm doubting whether I'm really an ESFJ again. I just want to be sure before I do too much crusading--it would suck to be speaking as an ESFJ if I'm not really that type. I'm not asking to be typed, I'm more just asking for a little confirmation. My Ne seems too developed to be tertiary, especially since I am still young and before the age of tertiary development. Why do I feel like my tertiary Ne is so developed as a 17 year old? Does this mean I have Ne higher up? So, without further ado, the explanations.

Can I still be an ESFJ if...?

Here are some things that might go against ESFJ in my mind.

-I am pretty metaphorical, at least in real life. ESFJs are supposed to be more literal communicators, but I often draw parallels to explain myself, or speak in hypotheticals. I'm not able to fully understand some things unless there is a metaphor to create a picture in my mind.

-I am very cryptic. This kind of goes with the previous statement. I'm shy about asserting myself, so I resort to zig-zaggy talk, theoretical explanations, and passive-aggressive behavior. (This annoys the hell out of my very literal, direct ISFJ friend.) I feel too "coded" to be an ESFJ, if that makes sense.

-I'm horrible with implementation and details. I'm great at generating ideas, but they're flimsy when it comes to being put in practice. I'm not sure how to fill the holes in my ideas, and I don't feel I have the Je control of my outside environment to make things happen, if that makes sense.

-I'm horribly indecisive. Je is supposed to have a steady hand, right? I don't trust myself and am constantly looking to others to figure things out. I feel small and shaky in my own skin. Je harnesses the waves, but I just drown in them.

-I don't feel especially diplomatic. I'm personable and casual, and I'm pretty good at ingratiating myself to others, but being in a business-only environment is a little weird because I'm usually making jokes and just acting homey, if that makes sense.

-I'm an entertainer. I do stupid things just to get my best friends to laugh. My mind, when I'm around people who love or inspire me, goes at light speed. I think of really weird and random things. Sometimes when I'm sad I overcompensate by being funny in order to make things "normal" again.

-I'm simultaneously really expressive and really not. I have a hard time disguising my emotions, and I can't deal with things if I can't talk about them, but I also run from my emotions and cover everything up with jokes and "no biggie" kind of statements. Kind of like covering a pile of shit with bling and perfume.

-I improvise rather than plan, usually.

-Even though I think I'm an extrovert (read the info in the next spoiler), I still need my alone time and would love a weekend alone. I know ESFJs are supposed to be the most extroverted extroverts.

Do these things make sense with ESFJ?

Here are some new things I've discovered about myself recently. I want to know if they're still in line with ESFJ.

-I've found a new passion of mine: I love getting people excited about things. I hate tooting my own horn but I'm so proud of the new gift I've learned I have, so I'm going to share it. At a camp this summer, I ran the talent show. I went around to every lunch table and convinced the kids to participate. I'm so proud of myself for rounding up all the kids and getting them to listen to me as I explained how things were going to work. I felt so organized and in-charge for once. During the actual show, I introduced all the acts (basically I was the MC). I absolutely loved getting everyone excited at the beginning ("Are you ready for the 2016 talent show?--I can't hear you!") I introduced all the acts and got the crowd prepped for the next one. It was the best thing I've done all summer. I got to shine and express myself--the whole thing was improvised--all the while engaging other people and proving to myself that I'm capable of doing things, not in spite of my traits, but because of them. It energizes me just to think of it.

-Going along with the last point, I've also started leading games at my youth group. It's basically a smaller scale version of the talent show. I'm not afraid to stand on a chair and tell everyone to put their hands in the air and fingers on noses to pay attention to me (I know we're all teenagers, but it still works and nobody seems to be upset by it). People listen to my promptings and I don't feel like I'm talking to an out of control group like I used to. Now, if you gave me a group of 40 children and asked me to engage them in a game, I wouldn't be terrified. Maybe this is my Je developing?

-I'm starting to realize how much I love kids, and I'm less awkward around them like I used to be. I used to feel kinda stiff and uncomfortable, but now I feel like I can connect with them better. Whenever a kid comes through my line at the grocery store (I'm a cashier) my day just brightens.

-I like talking to strangers. I know I used to be drained by it, and I still can be to some extent, but I've come to appreciate it. I don't like it just to shoot the shit. I like it because people are just so goddamn interesting. At the grocery store, talking with the customers is my favorite thing. I try to engage them to find out more. The other day, I asked each customer who came through my line what they thought the most important thing in life was. I'm so fascinated by what makes people tick and what their lives are like. I love when customers open up about themselves or their stories.

-I am becoming more of an advocate. I've become much better at speaking up for people who don't or can't speak up for themselves.

-I can be persuasive. My manager was proud of me the other day because I sold a lot of coupon books using creative techniques (I didn't ask; I thought of ways to pitch things like a salesperson). I was so proud of my ability to utilize a little psychology and wording in order to get my job done in a fun way.

So, what does this all sound like? The mighty ESFJ?

 

[Forever]

I still think you and lux are NFP's.

Sorry you can't be a super special sparkly black unicorn with a forest green tail on this forum.

Hell, I even considered I was NFP again today.

 

[Dreamer]

Before getting too hung up in type and whether you're this or that, as cliche as sounds, you are YOU, you are not a type. This means that there may be aspects of you that does not fit a typing and some things that do. That doesn't mean you can't be ESFJ or that you are either. You are still young and finding yourself, heck, I haven't figured myself out completely and doubt I ever will, so do your thing, and even if you aren't an ESFJ in the end, or even if you find yourself to be Fi down the road, there will always be people here that applaud what you are doing NOW. I am happy you are posing this question though as I often think this about myself as well. I don't doubt who I am, but for a while I was afraid to even speak up about my relationship to Fi or Ne, and largely relating to ENFP in fear that what I speak of, is not those things at all, and there was no way, I could live with myself for speaking some "truth" if it isn't truth at all. Even if I was SO sure of it, I had SO many doubts.

So, don't worry too much. If you're not really an ESFJ, you're still doing that type a great service by promoting it

 

[gromit]

I relate to descriptions of several types, although there are people who would swear I'm one or the other.

But to me the idea is to take what is useful from the system. So if it says _____ type struggles with _____ and that is what I struggle with, I learn more about that topic from the type context. And if the advice/suggestions for how to work on that struggle make sense to me, then I incorporate that as well.

 

[fetus]

I still think you and lux are NFP's.

Sorry you can't be a super special sparkly black unicorn with a forest green tail on this forum.

Hell, I even considered I was NFP again today.

I'm interested to know more. Why do you think this?

Thank you to [MENTION=25763]Enthusiastic_Dreamer[/MENTION] and [MENTION=9486]gromit[/MENTION]. <3