Please, type me in all systems - just want to be sure.

[Little Gum]

I can't stand answering super-specific questions, because I either get too brief or get verbal diarrhea and start talking about everything and anything and then I forget what I was talking about. But I will try. Additional questions are welcome.

I'm female, 33, from one of the three countries with most extraverts in the world according to some survey somewhere. I have generalised anxiety and some borderline traits, but right now, I'm just caffeinated.

1-what makes you angry?
I just typed this on FB, but I'm scared of posting it, because I don't want to hurt the friend whom I saw mock somebody, and I don't want stress, either.

A couple of things really get me aggressive: mocking people in a poor state of mind, scaring people in a poor state of mind and threatening people in a poor state of mind.

And if you're ever pissed off by that, remember that this comes from memories of a child who used to bang her head against things 350 days a year and other kids just cheered on and laughed. And nobody ever helped.

Do I still do that kind of stuff? No.

Would I help somebody who's doing that kind of stuff or would I cheer on and laugh? Take a rough guess.

Would I remind you of that when you're seemingly OK and somebody else isn't or wasn't? The answer to that last one may go in the Schopenhauer direction, whether you like that or not.

That's it, thank you.

Also, I am angered by liars, people who are all about fame and money and such. Just real values are OK to me, those they teach us when we're really little. Except for the marriage and other social norms - those are scary and put so much pressure on those who cannot achieve them.

2. what do you like/dislike most about people?
Next to what I said about 1, I just spotted this in somebody else's answer and I thought it was spot-on!

I like people who are honest and respectful of my wishes, but can't stand fake, loud, or obnoxious people. Manipulation is one of my biggest buttons, as I have a relative who is extremely manipulative and has o it other family members against each other in multiple occassions. I also hate bullies, people who get too close for comfort (especially the huggers...) and then the worst ones are those who criticize people like me who hate all that hugsy crap and treat us like something is wrong with us.

3. do you like animals? why?
Dogs and birds are the most magnificent creatures ever. But I love every single animal there is, apart from snakes, hornets and other creepy stuff. I tend to be reserved about people who hurt animals. I have a hyperactive small dog and a hyperactive larger parakeet. Since I tend to be passive most of the time, they motivate me.

4. what do you like most about the favorite people in your life?
They can be there for me and not pat me on the head and think I'm drugged by birth or something - they accept my thoughts when I'm not under stress instead of patting me on the head or whatever, and don't judge me, troll me and such. Also, they're forgiving, caring and mostly spontaneous.

5. what do you like/dislike most about yourself?
I am extremely judgmental, I can burn bridges within seconds, I tend to beat myself up over mistakes I made up to thirty years ago and actually hide away in a corner when I think of them in the middle of the street. I'm scared, anxious and lazy, too. I cannot focus on anything, this test was an effort, too.

6. do you care about being fashionable? why/why not?
I have my own fashion. I don't like it when people are judged for not always being all dressed up, for not wearing make-up etc.

7. do you prefer to fit in or stand out?
I can only fit in by being sound asleep while people are going nuts, partying and being fools for no apparent reason. Wait, I stand out even then. Sometimes, this brings loneliness. There are good and bad kinds of loneliness, it depends. I don't mind it when I stand out for being so hardline, though.


8. what activities do you enjoy?

- Writing, writing and more writing.

- -In terms of poetry, I'm writing a series where a place is a character, a small town that had multiple deaths and two locations, was shattered by a huge quake, burnt down three times and affected by disease - she is a tough cookie and I love her.

- -In terms of prose, most of the things I say comes out as a word salad these days - I have so many thoughts to write down, but I lack flow sometimes. The same happens with blog posts. Hence the mention of people thinking that I am drugs (like that Dali quote).

-- I also write Star Wars fanfiction, mostly placing characters based on people I know in the Galaxy far, far away and living their own little, complicated lives, trying to find their place and struggling with belonging.

- I maintain a website about a reclusive musician and I have an iron fist and a heart of gold there. I don't let people hurt him, sometimes they do, so this activity is not always enjoyable.

- Cycling.

- Photography.

- Sometimes cooking.

9. what makes you feel secure?
My black locust tree. I cannot be me without the presence of that tree. If I have a dream where the tree was cut down, I become extremely disturbed.

10. do you like being in a relationship?
I have never taken any relationship to a serious level, so I guess that my general answer is no, but if there was somebody who would not want to grope me any time they would want to, control me and actually understand who I am, provided that I also liked them (this is hard, I've been attracted to only one person, ever), I would maybe give it a go. But sex is a waste of time, or so it sounds to me. I don't get why people like it that much.

11 what do you love and why?
In no particular order...
The character I'm writing poetry about and her actual, real-life representation. Trees. Parrots. Dogs. Goats. The person I've been fond of most of my life. Writing. The sensation of being in the middle of a process of writing or doing something else that's creative. Ewoks. My friends. The enormous anxiety before going somewhere because I never go anywhere. Picking a stray hair.

12-what do you spend the most time thinking about?
My fears. What others think about me and if that's the reason I'm stressed. How my past shaped my present and how the future could be like. How I should be more efficient and not live day-by-day (LOL, impossible). How people forgot what truly matters and if they have conscience. How the world saturated by sexuality, media obsession and scrutiny horrifies me. When there will be more videos of cockatoos doing funny stuff. And so on.

13-How much have you changed over the years? Who were you as a child?
I am pretty sure that the child me was the closest to what I am at 33. During my teens and twenties, I was forced to play roles and be somebody else, solely to fool others, but mostly myself, into buying a story about how super-friendly and efficient I was. The child me was freely talking about outlandish, strange and impossible stuff and the 33 year old me does the same now. I changed a lot, I improved myself, but eventually, I moved all of that complicated house of cards on top of the same old foundation.


If I should answer more questions, I'd prefer some that are not...super-general. I have a hard time with such concrete things when it comes to the matters of inner life.

 

[Little Gum]

And another...

1) What aspect of your personality made you unsure of your type?
The fact that two others often come into play and that I have seen that happen with other people of my type.

2) What do you yearn for in life? Why?
True, genuine acceptance by those who matter to me. Some stability, but not the kind thereof that would lock me into a machine.


3) Think about a time where you felt like you were at your finest. Tell us what made you feel that way.
In terms of my abilities, I would say 2016 is pretty good. Now, when it comes to personal peace or such - that has never happened. The world is cruel and it's always been scary. People tell me that I'm unable to relax, even though I'm kind of lazy - and it's true.


4) What makes you feel inferior?
Not being taken seriously, just because I don't look and dress my age, because I'm not interested in relationships in the classic sense of that word and because my hobbies are odd to people.


5) What tends to weigh on your decisions? (Do you think about people, pro-cons, how you feel about it, etc.)
I...can't make a decision. I can make things idle, ignore the elephant in the room or rage-quit, but an actual decision? N-nope.


6) When working on a project what is normally your emphasis? Do you like to have control of the outcome?
I want full control over everything because I don't think anybody can do it better than me. I tend to be bossy and territorial and I feel threatened when somebody takes over, I connect to each project way too much. There were times when I genuinely hurt others this way - because they turned out to be the same way as me.

7) Describe a time where you had a lot of fun. How is your memory of it?
I usually realise that long after it happens and then I yearn for it and replay the moments in my mind. And those memories are vivid and sweet, most of the time. But each and every one of them comes with a dark edge.

8) When you want to learn something new, what feels more natural for you?
I have to want to learn something new first - so, it should either come to me naturally, subconsciously, or I need to work on it whenever I feel like, when I can focus on it (trouble focusing!)

9) How organized do you think of yourself as?
I'm organised when it comes to some bizarre, barely important things and extremely organised about everything else. I am setting reminders and having people nag me to clean. I even have a friend to remind me of the most basic of the everyday things, such as flossing.

10) How do you judge new ideas? You try to understand the principles behind it to see if they make sense or do you look for information that supports it?
My knee-jerk reaction is a no, then a yes, then a mix of this and that. But the ideas eventually need to make sense to me. I will look at both supportive and non-supportive views, but I will make my own judgement.

11) You find harmony by making sure everyone is doing fine and belonging to a given group or by making sure that you follow what you believe and being yourself?
The latter leading to earlier. I tried it the other way round and it came off patronising, eww.

12) Are you the kind that thinks before speaking or do you speak before thinking? Do you prefer one-on-one communication or group discussions?
I tend to be drowned in group discussions, unless I'm dominating them.

As for the earlier thing, I'm impulsive around people who scare me. And they use that against me.

13) Do you jump into action right away or do you like to know where are you jumping before leaping? Does action speaks more than words?
I am teaching myself to do the latter, but not to the point where I would be planning the best outcome for myself - that would be evil.

14) It's Saturday. You're at home, and your favorite show is about to start. Your friends call you for a night out. What will you do?
Neither is appealing to me. I can't follow shows closely, nights out are stressful and people smoke and get into others' personal space. Can I do any of the things listed under 20) instead?

15) How do you act when you're stressed out?
I run away. I can even take the SIM card out of my phone, sleep all day, not read e-mails, shiver in some dark corner. In extreme cases, when people betray me or when I don't know what I have done to somebody or why they are the way they are, I tend to think that I don't exist.

16) What makes you dislike the personalities of some people?
I think I answered this. But the personality type I dislike most is ESTP. They're everything I'm not, with that tiny bit of similarity that they always manage to fool me into thinking that they care about others and have good intentions.

17) Is there anything you really like talking about with other people?
With strangers, I often talk about whatever we're at (e.g. concerts, public transportation) or...watch this...illnesses. I had best convos on endocrine issues and back pain with random strangers. Let's hope it was helpful.

With people I know, trust and love, anything. But often the meta, dorky things that don't interest anybody else. My mom would say that I waste my time on absolute nonsense and that I should focus on work and nothing else, but NOPE.

18) What kind of things do you pay the least attention to in your life?
Social status, being perceived as cool, rich, successful or whatever, being pretty in pictures and everything else that's convenient to the point of suffocating me. And sex and opiates - two things that absolutely don't interest me. One word to describe all of this, an umbrella term, would be fakeness.

19) How do your friends perceive you? What is wrong about their perception? ? What would your friends never say about your personality ?
I am annoyed by this question mark that's split from the rest of the sentences, ugh.

My friends are not wrong about me - I tend to be super-honest about what I am like, but only if I trust somebody. With others, I'm pretty aloof, uninterested. If you need help from me and you're not out to use me, I will help you. If you're out to use me, once I spot that...beware, because I'll rage-quit. And yes, I need to work on that.

20) You got a whole day to do whatever you like. What kind of activities do you feel like doing?
Knowing myself, I'll probably get distracted by reading multiple articles on the same thing, writing something not many people will read or going for a photo session on my bike. Scheduling meetings with my friends is stressful, since I'm a freelancer and most of them aren't, but why not?

 

[sardonic delight]

You have a lot of Fi. Fi values authenticity and you have that in spades. I'm going to say infp, possibly enfp but I saw more dominant Fi.

 

[Little Gum]

You have a lot of Fi. Fi values authenticity and you have that in spades. I'm going to say infp, possibly enfp but I saw more dominant Fi.

Thank you.

I'm pretty sure I scared everybody else.

 

[Mal12345]

"All systems" means we would have to type you in, let's say, about a thousand personality systems? I don't know the exact number, but there are a lot.

 

[Smilephantomhive]

"All systems" means we would have to type you in, let's say, about a thousand personality systems? I don't know the exact number, but there are a lot.

Better get started then.

 

[Little Gum]

People are scary-precise. *looks at their types* Yup, I totally get how this happened.

I was referring to Socionics and Ennaeagram as well, because I'm curious. But if the title is misleading, I have no problem editing it and I apologise.

 

[Smilephantomhive]

You have a lot of Fi. Fi values authenticity and you have that in spades. I'm going to say infp, possibly enfp but I saw more dominant Fi.

I agree.

"9. what makes you feel secure?
My black locust tree. I cannot be me without the presence of that tree. If I have a dream where the tree was cut down, I become extremely disturbed."
^This seems like Si (especially related to the tert position)