Help me find my enneagram (Typh0n)

[Typh0n]

I predicted that you would dislike my statement about that. People with BPD will do this.

Yeah? I think anyone, BPD or no BPD will react badly if you randomly suggest they have BPD without being their psychologist/psychiatrist.

Its not really why I made this thread, and I'd appreciate if people wouldn't focus on my supposed mental or personality disorder, thanks.

 

[Hawthorne]

questionnaire suggests 3 to me. Don't see where the 8 votes are coming from unless they're using info from outside.

 

[Typh0n]

questionnaire suggests 3 to me. Don't see where the 8 votes are coming from unless they're using info from outside.

Well the reasons [MENTION=26674]theforsaken[/MENTION] suggested can apply either to a 3 or 8...they are behaviors which both types could adopt, just for different reasons.

I am leaning 3w4 right now. I can't see myself as an 8, I just can't since I don't relate to the descriptions at all.

If you don't mind my asking, what about the questionnaire makes you think 3?

 

[Cloudpatrol]

Great thread [MENTION=17729]Typh0n[/MENTION].

As of late, the best input I have had (besides reading what member's say) is to look into the integration and disintegration of the number you are considering. It is really helpful in determining what fits and what does not.

In another thread (I can't remember where or who said it now) it was said that when you start getting close you will feel uncomfortable. I think there is merit in that.

 

[Mal12345]

questionnaire suggests 3 to me. Don't see where the 8 votes are coming from unless they're using info from outside.

They are probably using "intuition" and "vibes."

- - - Updated - - -

Yeah? I think anyone, BPD or no BPD will react badly if you randomly suggest they have BPD without being their psychologist/psychiatrist.

Its not really why I made this thread, and I'd appreciate if people wouldn't focus on my supposed mental or personality disorder, thanks.

Look into it anyway.

 

[Hawthorne]

snipping for later...

9. What is the message your superego tells you?

"Work more, be productive, you lazy ass bastard!

Consider a time when you felt poorly about yourself--this means your ego (i.e. YOU) is receiving negative feedback from your superego. Write a conversation between the two of them--what is your superego telling you about how to be? (Note: this obviously is very personal and may be better done privately. Report your findings).

Yeah, its quiet personal...

For the following, rank the issues in the order they apply and give a brief description of why and how you relate.

10. Determine your ego ideal--the way you strive to be and want others to perceive you. (Note, you may be consciously aware of failing at this, and you will be hard on yourself if you do. If someone else tells you you're NOT this way, it may make you feel hurt, violated, or angry.)

I want to be seen as succesful, powerful, attractive, genuine, real

Which of the following ideals resonate with you the most, and why? Rank them.
Spoiler
- to be "okay", having it together 7
- to be devoted and loyal to a person or cause 5
- to be sensitive, original, unique, and creative 7
- to be knowlegeable 8
- to be powerful, strong, unassailable. 7
- to be accomplished and successful 9
- to strive to become/behave like a good person 6
- to be a loveable person 8
- to be loving and benevolent 5


11. Determine your "felt sense" of life. To do this it may help to look at how you perceive events. Another way to do this is to look back at your childhood and think of all the things your parents did to you. How did you/do you feel about these events?

Here are some common "felt senses" of life:
Spoiler
- I must do everything to maintain my world Yes
- I have a sense of being unimportant, insignificant, and underving of attention I wouldn't say that, but I would say sometimes others make me feel this way, probably not on purpose most of the time. Depends on my mood tbh.
- I feel imperfect, not (good) enough Perfection isn't that important to me
- I have been abandoned and I am inherently flawed Resonates with me
- I'm outside the natural unfoldment of things Not sure
- People have wronged and messed with me So so true to me
- I feel isolated, cut off, and ultimately separate So true
- I have felt weak and/or vulnerable to attack Sometimes, but its not common
- I've had a sense of being rejectible Yes


12. Core fears. You may have been aware of these fears even as a very small child, before anyone did anything to influence it. You'd be mortified to be in this position or have others perceive you this way.

Discuss which fears have played the greatest role in your life:
Spoiler
- Creating conflict by making myself or my needs too obvious This one, yes.
- Rejection, being needy, and not being loved Kinda
- Weak and not being on top of things Kinda
- Failure [BYes, this one][/B]
- Being abandoned, sadness, feeling lost This, yes
- Entanglements and losing what I have Very much this
- Something is basically wrong with me--I'm not good enough Not sure
- Boredom, grunt work, and being exposed as a charlatan Never thought about it, but it sounds scary
- A lot--everything and everyone to one degree or another. It's very generalized. Not sure.

Can you rerank 10-12 so that each item is assigned a number 1-9 with no repeats?

 

[Typh0n]

[MENTION=23915]Hawthorne[/MENTION]

I tried doing what you aksed, but I can't. Its too hard. I don't know myself well enough to assign a number to those statements, and if I did I'm afraid it would just be innacurate.

Anyone else wanna guess at my type?

 

[Typh0n]

Anyways, besides 3w4, I'm also looking into 6w7/7w6. I relate to the seven motivations like being afraid of physial pain, and wanting to seek physical pleasure. I don't plan ahead for the future, really, but I tend to consider which options will bring me the most pleasureable outcome when making a decision. I think I'm too extraverted to be 6w5 but too introverted to be 7w8. I don't relate to the 7 stereotype of being happy-go-lucky and all, but thats just a stereotype.

 

[Typh0n]

That said, having re-read Tom Condon's description of the wings, I'm pretty sure that I am a 6w5. 7w6 doesn't fit at all, and 6w7 feels meh. The description of 3w4 could fit too, but something about 3 feels off overall.

The descriptions are no longer available online for free anymore, appearantly, though I have a copy that I prnited out years ago.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

[MENTION=17729]Typh0n[/MENTION]

Curious. What about the 6 description was relatable as opposed to the 3? Fear vs image...can you explain this? I think it would be helpful for anyone reading the thread since 3,6,9 are connected.

In the spoiler, I put a description of the 3 and how it shows in integrating to 6. Curious as to if you relate to any or it and/or where you don't?

Point Three - The Performer
Wing Points
When their Two wing is predominant, Threes tend to be quite warm and engaging. They can bring their attention to making personal connections in the service of the work. Successful relationships with others are part of their overall program for achievement and productivity. These Threes will exhibit more of the people skills that we normally associate with Point Two. They can be very gregarious people, sustaining contact way beyond what most personality types can tolerate. The problem area here is how both points reinforce a dependency on external approval and recognition, which may lead to superficiality. However, with the influence of their Two wing, Threes can be very skilled in leading and managing large numbers of people.
With the Four wing predominant, Threes have more access to their own internal states and moods. They are more likely to develop a personal agenda, at least in their off hours. And they will at times retreat from constant busyness to regroup or to analyze their options. However, if personal feelings are set aside too much in the attempt to maintain a successful image, Threes can suffer from depression. The Four wing may also influence Threes to place more attention to intellectual content in contrast to the people orientation of the Two wing.

Dynamic Points
The relaxation point for Threes is Point Six. When Threes feel secure enough to take a break from constant action and performing, they open up space for thinking about their lives, their relationships, and where they want to go. For all Threes, but especially those in positions of leadership, the ability to pose questions, comprehend opposing forces, and develop strategy that comes with the Six territory is crucial for long term success and effectiveness. Rather than simply taking on agendas and goals without thinking, some time spent at Point Six encourages discernment and informed decision making. Of course being at Six may bring up unfamiliar experiences of fear and doubt. It helps to know that these disturbing feelings or insecurities are a necessary part of personal and professional development.
The resource point for Threes is Point Nine. There are times when Threes definitely need to become more inclusive. In contrast to their usual driven, competitive style, moving to Point Nine develops the ability to see other points of view, to bring people together on task in a different, perhaps less directive, way. There is also the possibility at Point Nine of slowing down a bit and following more body-based rhythymic patterns of activity and rest. Sometimes Threes will be forced into Nine by overwork and stress. They can become spaced out or inert, which is very uncharacteristic for them. If Threes can move to Nine without too much stress, they will benefit from the grounding and harmonizing qualities that are available there.

 

[highlander]

Can you take the enneagram explorations test referenced on the home page and post the results here?

 

[Typh0n]

[MENTION=5223]MDP2525[/MENTION]

I think the hyper-awareness of one's environment, when scouting for dangers, is what I relate to. I'm always on my guard, that someone might take advantage of me, attack me personally, and that I might have to defend myself, and I imagine what could go wrong. I have very vivid imagination, but often use it to imagine what go wrong in situations. Its like I fear that if I let go, I could succumb to danger without being "ready" for it.

Thats what I relate to about six, but I also relate to the image focus of the three, since I am also pretty aware of what image I project, I think, but I'm not aware that I do it and up to a point in my life I wasn't aware that its anything special. I thought everyone did that. We live in a pretty image-obsessed society after all.

Let me quote that description and put in bold the parts I agree with.

Point Three - The Performer
Wing Points
When their Two wing is predominant, Threes tend to be quite warm and engaging. They can bring their attention to making personal connections in the service of the work. Successful relationships with others are part of their overall program for achievement and productivity. These Threes will exhibit more of the people skills that we normally associate with Point Two. They can be very gregarious people, sustaining contact way beyond what most personality types can tolerate. The problem area here is how both points reinforce a dependency on external approval and recognition, which may lead to superficiality. However, with the influence of their Two wing, Threes can be very skilled in leading and managing large numbers of people.
With the Four wing predominant, Threes have more access to their own internal states and moods. They are more likely to develop a personal agenda, at least in their off hours. And they will at times retreat from constant busyness to regroup or to analyze their options. However, if personal feelings are set aside too much in the attempt to maintain a successful image, Threes can suffer from depression. The Four wing may also influence Threes to place more attention to intellectual content in contrast to the people orientation of the Two wing.

So with that I definately relate to the 3w4 description, lets see about the stress/security points. I'm not gonna bold this one since these traits likely change throughout one's lifetime, but I can say I relate to the six connection, a bit less to the nine one, though I relate to the nine conncection a bit too.

Dynamic Points
The relaxation point for Threes is Point Six. When Threes feel secure enough to take a break from constant action and performing, they open up space for thinking about their lives, their relationships, and where they want to go. For all Threes, but especially those in positions of leadership, the ability to pose questions, comprehend opposing forces, and develop strategy that comes with the Six territory is crucial for long term success and effectiveness. Rather than simply taking on agendas and goals without thinking, some time spent at Point Six encourages discernment and informed decision making. Of course being at Six may bring up unfamiliar experiences of fear and doubt. It helps to know that these disturbing feelings or insecurities are a necessary part of personal and professional development.
The resource point for Threes is Point Nine. There are times when Threes definitely need to become more inclusive. In contrast to their usual driven, competitive style, moving to Point Nine develops the ability to see other points of view, to bring people together on task in a different, perhaps less directive, way. There is also the possibility at Point Nine of slowing down a bit and following more body-based rhythymic patterns of activity and rest. Sometimes Threes will be forced into Nine by overwork and stress. They can become spaced out or inert, which is very uncharacteristic for them. If Threes can move to Nine without too much stress, they will benefit from the grounding and harmonizing qualities that are available there.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

[MENTION=17729]Typh0n[/MENTION]

Thanks for the reply.

When you were a kid, did you have the inherent feeling that trust was elusive? That trust with people was tenuous?

Or no. Was there another prevailing feeling?

 

[Typh0n]

[MENTION=5223]MDP2525[/MENTION]

Hmmmm. I can't say that feeling was prevalent, in my childhood. At least not that I remember.

Was there another feeling? Well, I did have a strange feeling towards material objects, that I wanted something to hold on to, my toys, books, games etc were important to me - its like a feeling that a disaster would hit my home and I would lose my possesions (it never happened though) and that really scared me. So I had the feeling that my ownership of physical objects was tenuous, though not so mch my relationship with people.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

[MENTION=5223]MDP2525[/MENTION]

Hmmmm. I can't say that feeling was prevalent, in my childhood. At least not that I remember.

Was there another feeling? Well, I did have a strange feeling towards material objects, that I wanted something to hold on to, my toys, books, games etc were important to me - its like a feeling that a disaster would hit my home and I would lose my possesions (it never happened though) and that really scared me. So I had the feeling that my ownership of physical objects was tenuous, though not so mch my relationship with people.

Ok. That is interesting. I think enneagram core is largely unconscious and forged when young. When older, it's easier to separate these motivations through other behaviors that hide/defend/deflect what really worries us.

That's my 2 cents on it but if you are still willing to look into it, I think what you said was pretty relevant.

 

[Typh0n]

Can you take the enneagram explorations test referenced on the home page and post the results here?

It says you have to pay to take them.