I Think I'm Gonna Puke

[senza tema]

I think you could be a 6w7 sx actually. Charm and beauty used defensively. What you said about using your image to keep yourself safe rather than endear yourself to people as the end goal resonated with me.

 

[Cloudpatrol]

Hmmm, your comments on SFJ dynamic are thought-provoking. So, I will. Think on them more (grins widely).

How much resentment you feel about being called "polished"? Because while I genuinely, wholeheartedly think of the term as a compliment, it would honestly make my skin crawl if it were applied to me (that may be more of a 4 thing though.)

When people make judgments about me, it takes a lot to 'get me to resentment'. Because I value the feedback, and always want to consider it without pre-conceived notions.

However, I don't 'feel' that I am polished and in fact strive not to be. I want to be the rock that is tumbling IN the gem polisher, gaining valuable facets but ultimate presentation and setting still to be determined.

Anyway, type talk aside, you are genuinely sweet and helpful and I like very much that you don't patronize others. I'm befuddled by your patience with people who are being ANNOYING and your ability to have a kind word for everyone though obviously I admire it as well.

Thank you. My Grandfather was a HUGE influence in my life. He was meek but in no way weak. He taught me that when having conflict it's best to ask myself "what DON'T I know about this person that will help me to understand more?". It makes me more curious than angry or frustrated, though I can certainly get there.

I do try to find kind words for everyone. Except for the utterly evil, I do think there is "SOMEthing" positive that can be found to highlight in everyone. This doesnt mean that the black things should be ignored or swept under a rug! In a world that largely CHOOSES focuses on bad news, hopelessness and decline in humanity - I'm an enduring optimist - tempered with pragmatism.

When someone exceeds the generous limits of my patience: there are consequences

 

[senza tema]

I have no idea what your MBTI is, CP, and I don't think I'm going to get any closer ... but regarding enneagram: from what I've seen, 4s are overwhelmingly prickly and can't really control it even when they're actually trying. The most placid a 4 will get is just being withdrawn and inaccessible.

So I would cautiously say that I personally don't think you are a 4.

 

[Cloudpatrol]

[MENTION=12103]Poki[/MENTION] Drunken fighting reminds me of playing Mortal Kombat in arcades

I have no oil fighting experience. There WAS one day that featured bikini's, mud and a turtle pool

This is stellar:

Ne comes across as shallow patterned bouncy. It has many uses, dom Ne is much more controlled by this. So they tend to be all over the place, they are not known very much as solid, but tend to be flowing to bouncy. Fi is the key to creating standing water. Te is the key to flow. To quick a check with Fi or Te creates bouncy. Dom functio. Can be likened to the leader. A leader who doent check in very often with its support often goes astray and support gets twisted, turned, and end up causing lots of issues. A leader who constantly checks in with support has the best chance of making the right choices as long as supporting function is good. Thats the job of the leader, to guide the support.

[MENTION=25403]ZNP-TBA[/MENTION]

You continue to prove yourself a conversational Lodestar.

 

[Cloudpatrol]

[MENTION=25377]SearchingforPeace[/MENTION]

Anyway, back on topic, you and I have interacted a lot since you joined. And while I have seen your writing, observed your posts, etc., what I do not have is you describing how you approach life, how you think about things, how you are under stress, etc.

I respectfully disagree.

I was very honest in how I felt when facing questioning by the police and you were helpful (aware) in that situation. I have discussed how elements of my past have affected me in PM's when we have discussed family dynamics. I know that you looked in-on the Mafia threads and I frequently explained there: my life views and approach when I was 'under attack' (in game play).

I have been open about experiencing and moving through grief. Reading through my posts should reveal MUCH of how I feel about the world, relationships, pop culture preferences, sex, the animal kingdom, what I find funny, societal constructs etc...

You have been extremely careful to pull back the layers slowly.

Actually this has been "speedy" for me. I have only been here for less than 4 months. I have more than 39 pages of Visitor Messages, a rich PM account and almost 1,000 posts. I started a blog. I have shared personal pics. All of this is highly uncharacteristic and I attribute it to the welcoming atmosphere, a desire to share more openly and the quality friends I have made.

So, if you really want to have us help type you better, I need something more. Can we talk about how you are under stress? Do you get overly sentimental? Do you lash out others? Do you enter an abyss of self criticism? Do you indulge and spend money frivolously? Or something different......

I 'get' the merit in this and see that I opened myself up for this

I will continue to share what I am comfortable with, at a pace that is true to myself.

No, I almost never lash out at other's.

The reason my nickname is Cat: my Dad was pushing me and pushing me. My patience reached it's limit. I was already teary and asked him nicely to stop.

{Generally, teasing me out of a bad day DOES work great, but in this instance I clearly said that the wounds were too fresh to engage in having my button's pushed}.

He kept on and I felt desperate and *hissssed* at him like a Cat. It was so unexpected - we all started killing ourselves laughing and the name was born.

But, it illustrates a point. I value direct and pointed communication. I actually don't mind having my buttons pushed (it can be funny). But, when I am overwhelmed by truly negative emotions, it's RARE and I need to be taken seriously. Asked questions that kindly expose where I am being silly or unreasonable. Or, if it's nothing of my own doing, just an expression (verbal or otherwise) that the person "is in my corner".

Stressed: tend to let routines slide. I might forget to eat if I am working on projects or I will take on more overseas clients which results in less sleep. OR I will become more organized and productive, paying bills before they need to be etc, cleaning, cooking and baking...

BECAUSE: I seek distraction. I have to corral my mind to remember that pain will not kill me and that it's impossible NOT to feel a feeling so to process. If I don't, it will manifest as a sore throat or upset stomach.

When I have a conflict with someone, I need to discuss it ASAP! Prefer that both parties speak freely and honestly but with respect. Even if I am hurt by, or don't like what the other person says, I will value the process and feel closer after. If someone is highly emotional {devoid of reason}, ignores what I say or speaks down to me I tend to disengage, get intensely serious & deploy sarcasm.

Yes, can be hugely self-critical. I think well of myself but also expect much. Before ever blaming someone else I will analyze to see where I fell short or could have done better. Have to remind myself to not always 'go it alone' and to let others be my 'soft place to fall'.

 

[1487610420]

Incredibly nervous. I am a somewhat private person & this feels like opening myself up MUCH more than feels comfortable.

M A K I N G myself do it (wry grin).

I came here new - 4 months ago as an INFP - and have tested as one for many years.


Yet, almost daily I am asked: if I am not in fact an INFJ?. Sometimes I get this query a FEW times a day. It leads me to wonder what are other's seeing that I am not?


I have had many posts or messages saying that my words or style brings to mind: Amargith (Only HOPE to be as cool as she is 'when I grow up' ). Or, I have been asked a couple times if I AM Amargith using a newer account (laughs). She of course is an INFJ.

Many other INFJ's keep asking me if I am perhaps wrong about: INFP-dom?


There is something you need to know before answering: I was happily married to an INFJ who died (not a bid for sympathy, I am at peace with it now). BUT, I think I have taken on a lot of his qualities because:
1) I want to honor him; his mental/social brilliance and pragmatism
2) It's a way of keeping his essence as a part of me, going forward.
I think (?) this may account somewhat for the dynamics people are observing.


Open for feedback. No sentimental investment in being an 'INFP'. Simply want: the"most accurate understanding" of self.

Thank you in advance

>^.,.^<

/thread

 

[Tater]

i think you're more conscientious than most infps.

i'm mulling it over, but leaning toward iei at the moment. ni>fe at least in socionics.

i would be interested to hear about your intuition.

ni doms often pick up on things that seem random to the rest of us and infer meaning from them. while this is true of ne users to an extent, ni doms also synthesize information where ne users would get caught up in the process of juggling a bunch of possibilities. for instance, an iei may walk into a discussion full of very polarized opinions, gain an understanding of where everything converges, and transcend the conflict. consequentially, ieis often don't even care to debate. in their mind, everything has already crystallized, so it's on to the next learning experience for them.

 

[1487610420]

Heads up

Because I am not adverse to questioning I decided to phone my grief counsellor and read them your post. Asking for honest feedback.

I was assigned a grief counsellor two years ago as standard protocol when one performs CPR and it has an unsuccessful outcome. Do you think that perhaps such a circumstance would provoke strong emotions? You would be correct.

To explain fully requires me supplying information that quite frankly is personal. I don’t feel the need to unleash my emotions across a social site. That does not mean that I don’t have any or am adverse to sharing when I feel comfortable.

Back to the paid, professional who interfaces with me on a personal level: They assured me I am highly proficient in processing emotion and that I am diligent in avoiding repression or suppression. They WERE concerned that someone on a social forum would be offering me ‘arm-chair’ psychological input - based on my limited conduct - in such a setting.

I was not able to tell them of your qualifications, as I am not aware of what they are?

This is one of the main dangers of places like this, it's a free playground for exercising playing the director, lead role and critic in their mental story, as an alternative to IRL, plenty of caution and a grain of salt recommended.

 

[ZNP-TBA]

I used to be on 'team e2' for CP but no longer. If we're looking at Enneagram in terms of core fears I would wager that CP's core fear is to be perceived (by others and herself) as inauthentic. Unless my understanding of enneagram is off I thought Enneagram was about recognizing core fears.

 

[SearchingforPeace]

[MENTION=25377]SearchingforPeace[/MENTION]

I respectfully disagree.

Good. Life can be trite and boring when everyone agrees. So, I will respectfully and hopefully gently continue on. We may reach consensus yet.

I was very honest in how I felt when facing questioning by the police and you were helpful (aware) in that situation. I have discussed how elements of my past have affected me in PM's when we have discussed family dynamics. I know that you looked in-on the Mafia threads and I frequently explained there: my life views and approach when I was 'under attack' (in game play).

It was a very, shall we say measured and protective exposure. You mentioned having to deal with the police, and in reviewing that thread, you never mentioned police. It was very vague (which was perfectly fine) and the full nature of the proceedings you eventually disclosed.

In mafia, your restrained and careful nature led others to put you near the top of their mafia lists repeatedly.

I have been open about experiencing and moving through grief. Reading through my posts should reveal MUCH of how I feel about the world, relationships, pop culture preferences, sex, the animal kingdom, what I find funny, societal constructs etc...

Let's just say I respectfully disagree. I would suggest, respectfully, of course , that I would call your approach to the forum as careful and measured and controlled. It might feel like rapid exposure to you, and I would never in anyway try to minimize or discount those feelings.

I really appreciate what you have added to the forum and the delightful and interesting threads you have started. You take great care to manage the threads, yet often seem to withhold your own thoughts on the topics until others have interjected.

This all does not represent or intend to be criticisms but mere observations. I hope you are able to take it in that spirit. I do admire you greatly and think the world of you, so I do hope you can take these observations in the intended spirit.

Actually this has been "speedy" for me. I have only been here for less than 4 months. I have more than 39 pages of Visitor Messages, a rich PM account and almost 1,000 posts. I started a blog. I have shared personal pics. All of this is highly uncharacteristic and I attribute it to the welcoming atmosphere, a desire to share more openly and the quality friends I have made.

There is a very different atmosphere here, a sense of belonging and comfort. At the pace you are going, you might hit my first year total of 3800+. There are great people here.... I am very glad you have felt welcome here to open up more.

Of course, the joy of TypC is that we can open up anonymously. We can befriend people and expose ourselves far more than is usually possible IRL. it isn't Facebook, after all.

I 'get' the merit in this and see that I opened myself up for this

I will continue to share what I am comfortable with, at a pace that is true to myself.

No, I almost never lash out at other's.

The reason my nickname is Cat: my Dad was pushing me and pushing me. My patience reached it's limit. I was already teary and asked him nicely to stop.

{Generally, teasing me out of a bad day DOES work great, but in this instance I clearly said that the wounds were too fresh to engage in having my button's pushed}.

He kept on and I felt desperate and *hissssed* at him like a Cat. It was so unexpected - we all started killing ourselves laughing and the name was born.

But, it illustrates a point. I value direct and pointed communication. I actually don't mind having my buttons pushed (it can be funny). But, when I am overwhelmed by truly negative emotions, it's RARE and I need to be taken seriously. Asked questions that kindly expose where I am being silly or unreasonable. Or, if it's nothing of my own doing, just an expression (verbal or otherwise) that the person "is in my corner".

Stressed: tend to let routines slide. I might forget to eat if I am working on projects or I will take on more overseas clients which results in less sleep. OR I will become more organized and productive, paying bills before they need to be etc, cleaning, cooking and baking...

BECAUSE: I seek distraction. I have to corral my mind to remember that pain will not kill me and that it's impossible NOT to feel a feeling so to process. If I don't, it will manifest as a sore throat or upset stomach.

When I have a conflict with someone, I need to discuss it ASAP! Prefer that both parties speak freely and honestly but with respect. Even if I am hurt by, or don't like what the other person says, I will value the process and feel closer after. If someone is highly emotional {devoid of reason}, ignores what I say or speaks down to me I tend to disengage, get intensely serious & deploy sarcasm.

Yes, can be hugely self-critical. I think well of myself but also expect much. Before ever blaming someone else I will analyze to see where I fell short or could have done better. Have to remind myself to not always 'go it alone' and to let others be my 'soft place to fall'.

Thanks for sharing all that. At this time I would rather ask for more questions than talk about my observations and thoughts from these answers.

1. What is your reaction speed? Are you quick to respond or do you need time to think before reacting?

2. When you are thinking about a project, say the fundraiser you did awhile back, do you have a single vision of how things should be or do have an unsettled vision that is easily altered? If you were planning an outdoor wedding for a cousin, would you make contingency plans in advance in case of bad weather? If the bride wanted radical changes at the last minute (even though you created everything just as she wanted), how would you respond?

3. When speaking, do you just say what you think is necessary at that moment or do you speak with intention? Do you talk discussing your ideas, needs, wants, etc. or do you talk with a purpose on how it will impact the listeners?

 

[Cloudpatrol]

My friend,

It was a very, shall we say measured and protective exposure. You mentioned having to deal with the police, and in reviewing that thread, you never mentioned police. It was very vague (which was perfectly fine) and the full nature of the proceedings you eventually disclosed.

True dat. I meant that post was open in that: I candidly shared how the situation was making me feel.

In mafia, your restrained and careful nature led others to put you near the top of their mafia lists repeatedly.

End of game, yes. And, I understand this in game play.

In general, I am curious: when did giving mindful consideration before action and being consistently respectful and positive = become things to be viewed with suspicion? I will never apologize for these. I am willing to be misunderstood {I don't bathe in cupcakes and rainbows } until my behaviour can eventually persuade someone that I am reliable. If time doesn't allow...there are other people who will be kindred spirits.

I would call your approach to the forum as careful and measured and controlled.

I agree: my approach could be interpreted as being measured and controlled.

I really appreciate what you have added to the forum and the delightful and interesting threads you have started. You take great care to manage the threads, yet often seem to withhold your own thoughts on the topics until others have interjected.

Thank you. Ditto. I appreciate your media links that draw attention to vital topics.

Yes. Deliberately. I do the same thing IRL when asking questions. I want feedback from the other person that is undiluted by my own perceptions. Once I receive valuable comments from other’s = I weigh in. Getting unvarnished and even opposing views from people, is one of my top fave things.

Of course, the joy of TypC is that we can open up anonymously. We can befriend people and expose ourselves far more than is usually possible IRL. it isn't Facebook, after all.

I diverge from you on this.

“Anonymous”, privacy and the internet are a whole ‘nother topic!

I tend to connect with people strongly and this has led to further communication off-site. Not a sheerly anonymous experience for me. I use social media sparingly and tend to easily befriend(ed) IRL.

1. What is your reaction speed? Are you quick to respond or do you need time to think before reacting?

Varies with circumstances.
High-pressure situations or day-to-day conversations: quick reactions and can speak directly.
Conflict/stressful situations: Can offer feedback if other party assists in drawing me out.
Otherwise:

2. When you are thinking about a project, say the fundraiser you did awhile back, do you have a single vision of how things should be or do have an unsettled vision that is easily altered? If you were planning an outdoor wedding for a cousin, would you make contingency plans in advance in case of bad weather? If the bride wanted radical changes at the last minute (even though you created everything just as she wanted), how would you respond?

Clear visions, organic & evolving. I would (and do) make contingency plans as I enjoy visualizing and troubleshooting. However, I would not be upset if the bride (great example!) wanted to change things.

Last year I hosted guests while living in Mexico. I had planned a party but a hurricane started to quickly develop. I abandoned all previous plans and we had a “Hurricane Prep Party” instead. A great memory, that exceeded what my original vision had been

3. When speaking, do you just say what you think is necessary at that moment or do you speak with intention? Do you talk discussing your ideas, needs, wants, etc. or do you talk with a purpose on how it will impact the listeners?

Day-to-day: stream-of-consciousness speaking that delves into ideas, wants, needs. {Tho, less likely to communicate wants/needs, unless listener is a “confidante”}

Vital importance, professional setting or, I have only ‘one shot’: speak with intention & think about the impact. In those cases I want my motivations to be easily identified & give thought as to how most effectively to appeal to the audience.

 

[Cloudpatrol]

[MENTION=22257]Floki[/MENTION]

get caught up in the process of juggling a bunch of possibilities

Delicious!

an iei may walk into a discussion full of very polarized opinions, gain an understanding of where everything converges, and transcend the conflict. consequentially, ieis often don't even care to debate. in their mind, everything has already crystallized, so it's on to the next learning experience for them.

More difficult. Definitely make strong inferences and connections that are not apparent to other's (tho am careful not to make assumptions ). I do like processing and synthesizing, even acting upon.

I don't like putting a plug in things, necessarily. It may be 'properly concluded' for the moment but I am open to re-visiting in the future. I don't debate just for the sake of debating. Debating = learning.

 

[Cloudpatrol]

This is one of the main dangers of places like this, it's a free playground for exercising playing the director, lead role and critic in their mental story, as an alternative to IRL, plenty of caution and a grain of salt recommended.

Noted. I take any post from you that exceeds a gif or a few words, very seriously.

I truly appreciate this.

 

[Norrsken]

[MENTION=26674]theforsaken[/MENTION] by “issue” do you mean which do I find more difficult? Definitely connecting mind and body. I am drawn to dancing and other physical expressions because I am always trying to develop that link between the two, more fully. I love 'getting lost' in using my body to the point where the mind and body are acting as one. But, it isn't a default state.

I find it relatively easy {and vital} to connect logical and emotional segments.

From some light research I've done, INFJs and INFPs show stress in very different ways, hence my question to you.
INFP's inferior function is in Te, which manifests in symptoms such as: being extremely critical against others, thinking that other people are too incompetent (Te's pet peeve), becoming too nit picky, attacking others with cold hard facts without warning, and so on.
INFJ's inferior function, however, lies in Se, which this Reddit post and this link talks how different types behave under stress. Unhealthy Se is gorging on fatty foods, indulging in mindless yet sensual activities such as TV binging and shopping for useless things, and becoming wildly obsessed with the tiniest details that they will check and re-check and, oh, check again until they feel satisfied after the ten thousandth time.

I hope these help, it has helped other people with type confirmation.

 

[SearchingforPeace]

My friend,

True dat. I meant that post was open in that: I candidly shared how the situation was making me feel.

End of game, yes. And, I understand this in game play.

In general, I am curious: when did giving mindful consideration before action and being consistently respectful and positive = become things to be viewed with suspicion? I will never apologize for these. I am willing to be misunderstood {I don't bathe in cupcakes and rainbows } until my behaviour can eventually persuade someone that I am reliable. If time doesn't allow...there are other people who will be kindred spirits.

FYI, it was about 3 posts in that I knew your value.... maybe 2....

I agree: my approach could be interpreted as being measured and controlled.

There is the real question. You appear measured and controlled. Is that really you or is that a style you choose to adopt?

Do you believe you live your life the same way that you perceive to live your life? {I know the two are very different because only as I gained greater person clarity and broke free of the ego constructs did I see I lived my life in a far different manner than I believed I lived my life}

Would your family and close friends agree with you about how you believe you are?

Varies with circumstances.
High-pressure situations or day-to-day conversations: quick reactions and can speak directly.
Conflict/stressful situations: Can offer feedback if other party assists in drawing me out.
Otherwise:

Clear visions, organic & evolving. I would (and do) make contingency plans as I enjoy visualizing and troubleshooting. However, I would not be upset if the bride (great example!) wanted to change things.

Last year I hosted guests while living in Mexico. I had planned a party but a hurricane started to quickly develop. I abandoned all previous plans and we had a “Hurricane Prep Party” instead. A great memory, that exceeded what my original vision had been

Day-to-day: stream-of-consciousness speaking that delves into ideas, wants, needs. {Tho, less likely to communicate wants/needs, unless listener is a “confidante”}

Vital importance, professional setting or, I have only ‘one shot’: speak with intention & think about the impact. In those cases I want my motivations to be easily identified & give thought as to how most effectively to appeal to the audience.

Great stuff. I see some real patterns that help me to rule out some types. The pre hurricane party sounds like it was a blast. A few more questions.

Do you interact with the world or observe the world?

When you cook, do you diligently follow recipes or do you make modifications on the fly?

Thinking back to school, how did you study for tests? Describe how you approached taking different types of tests.

Ok, you have an important appointment across town. You have never been in the area before, but you are generally comfortable about how to get there. The GPS says it should take 30 minutes. How much time do you give yourself to get there?

Talk a little about art. Your art and art in general.

 

[iwakar]

From some light research I've done, INFJs and INFPs show stress in very different ways, hence my question to you.
INFP's inferior function is in Te, which manifests in symptoms such as: being extremely critical against others, thinking that other people are too incompetent (Te's pet peeve), becoming too nit picky, attacking others with cold hard facts without warning, and so on.
INFJ's inferior function, however, lies in Se, which this Reddit post and this link talks how different types behave under stress. Unhealthy Se is gorging on fatty foods, indulging in mindless yet sensual activities such as TV binging and shopping for useless things, and becoming wildly obsessed with the tiniest details that they will check and re-check and, oh, check again until they feel satisfied after the ten thousandth time.

I hope these help, it has helped other people with type confirmation.

Gotta take issue here. Ti/Se can look awfully similar to Si/Te when under stress. I have been known in the past to mercilessly bludgeon people with "objective" observations when on the rampage.

 

[Poki]

Gotta take issue here. Ti/Se can look awfully similar to Si/Te when under stress. I have been known in the past to mercilessly bludgeon people with "objective" observations when on the rampage.

Lol, leave it to an INFP to just bludgeon people with "objective" observations when not stressed...lol. i usually keep it to myself, just doesnt seem interesting enough yet to buldgeon someone with...piss me off though and "a bludgeoning it will be, hi ho a dairie oh, a bludgeoning it will be."

 

[iwakar]

Lol, leave it to an INFP to just bludgeon people with "objective" observations when not stressed...lol. i usually keep it to myself, just doesnt seem interesting enough yet to buldgeon someone with...piss me off though and "a bludgeoning it will be, hi ho a dairie oh, a bludgeoning it will be."

It sure as hell isn't something I'm proud of. It has improved with age.

 

[Poki]

It sure as hell isn't something I'm proud of. It has improved with age.

I have noticed bitterness in IJs cause increased bludgeoning with age. Dont grow bitter, "dont worry, be happy"

 

[iwakar]

I have noticed bitterness in IJs cause increased bludgeoning with age. Dont grow bitter, "dont worry, be happy"

Then they're indulging themselves rather than improving themselves. Lame.