Any help/opinions would be much appreciated. Just a bit of background. As I child, I typed INFP. However, this was years ago and A LOT has happened since then. I feel as though my sweet, idealistic spirit has been crushed by the realities of adult life (that was me trying to be sort of funny). In all seriousness, have been ill (in and out of hospital) with several chronic illnesses, left home to pursue my childhood dream of being a nurse at university. Then through a combination of loneliness and perhaps naivety, found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship. I feel through these experiences, i've developed a lot and perhaps not necessarily for the better.
E vs I
- Whilst I spend a lot of time in my room painting, reading, listening to music, I quickly grow lonely and crave contact with others. However, after a lot of socialising, feel the need to escape
-Whilst I find it easy to get on/have small talk with others, I often don't find it particularly stimulating and sometimes feel restless as a result. However, if someone wants to have a long, philosophical discussion, I become almost animated and my attention is held for hours
-Once i've been getting on with someone for a while, I never want to let that friendship go and will be very proactive in maintaining the friendship
-The bonds I make with others can be very intense for me and I care for those few very deeply
N vs S (Pretty sure an intuitive)
-Day dream a lot about people, the past, the future, meaning of life etc. Often leads to a lot of ruminating sometimes
-I get very anxious about the future and often regret not doing more in the past or the way things worked out etc. Sometimes, to the detriment of not enjoying/being grateful for the present
-In my own little world a lot and don't realise until someone asks if I'm okay whilst I'm deep in thought
F vs T
-Was a very sensitive/emotional child, always the people-pleaser hardly ever got into trouble. Just wanted to be liked/accepted by others
-I feel like I can tune into someone's emotions very easily, once I get to know them, I can just intuitively "get" how they're feeling so much so that I seem to be able to predict what they're going to do/say next
-However, more recently, I feel hardened by experience and growing less sympathetic/wanting to get involved in other people's problems, I feel resentful that it's only ever got me taken advantage of and then subsequently discarded when that person feels more secure/happy
-I feel a big change came after I was broken up with by my ex. It was as if a switch flipped and I went into auto-pilot logic-no emotion. After he ended it, I went totally cold and distant and never contacted him (totally out of character). He (an INTJ) must have been surprised because he's reached out several times months after the break up hinting he loved me and saying he misses me- even got upset when I wasn't wanting to talk anymore. However, i've totally cut him off and months later still don't feel any regret because it was the "logical" thing to do
-Now, I'm less patient with others, I don't feel emotionally invested in their problems anymore
-I really enjoy analysing and looking for solutions to problems more than connecting with people (this is making me rethink whether my career choice is an ideal one anymore
-I also now feel less comfortable expressing my emotions so freely but think of them a lot when by myself
-I prefer to look from several different points of view and remain as objective and unswayed by emotion as I can in all situations
J vs P
-Like to have a plan in place and feel uncomfortable on the spot
Pretty sure I'm a judger.
Other people's voiced opinions of me:
-I've been recently told by a colleague that I'm very quietly methodical (I took as a compliment) but she was really trying to say that I should voice my opinion in group work more
-Was told by my Mother that I was being a cold b**** ignoring my ex's recent message
-Had several people tell me recently how I come across as so quiet, sweet but that they were shocked how sarcastically witty I can be once they get to know me (I take this as a huge compliment)
On the opposite end..
-Have been told by my close friend that everyone knows "you're a sensitive flower"
Confusing.
Apologies for the length. Thank you for reading!
E vs I
- Whilst I spend a lot of time in my room painting, reading, listening to music, I quickly grow lonely and crave contact with others. However, after a lot of socialising, feel the need to escape
-Whilst I find it easy to get on/have small talk with others, I often don't find it particularly stimulating and sometimes feel restless as a result. However, if someone wants to have a long, philosophical discussion, I become almost animated and my attention is held for hours
-Once i've been getting on with someone for a while, I never want to let that friendship go and will be very proactive in maintaining the friendship
-The bonds I make with others can be very intense for me and I care for those few very deeply
N vs S (Pretty sure an intuitive)
-Day dream a lot about people, the past, the future, meaning of life etc. Often leads to a lot of ruminating sometimes
-I get very anxious about the future and often regret not doing more in the past or the way things worked out etc. Sometimes, to the detriment of not enjoying/being grateful for the present
-In my own little world a lot and don't realise until someone asks if I'm okay whilst I'm deep in thought
F vs T
-Was a very sensitive/emotional child, always the people-pleaser hardly ever got into trouble. Just wanted to be liked/accepted by others
-I feel like I can tune into someone's emotions very easily, once I get to know them, I can just intuitively "get" how they're feeling so much so that I seem to be able to predict what they're going to do/say next
-However, more recently, I feel hardened by experience and growing less sympathetic/wanting to get involved in other people's problems, I feel resentful that it's only ever got me taken advantage of and then subsequently discarded when that person feels more secure/happy
-I feel a big change came after I was broken up with by my ex. It was as if a switch flipped and I went into auto-pilot logic-no emotion. After he ended it, I went totally cold and distant and never contacted him (totally out of character). He (an INTJ) must have been surprised because he's reached out several times months after the break up hinting he loved me and saying he misses me- even got upset when I wasn't wanting to talk anymore. However, i've totally cut him off and months later still don't feel any regret because it was the "logical" thing to do
-Now, I'm less patient with others, I don't feel emotionally invested in their problems anymore
-I really enjoy analysing and looking for solutions to problems more than connecting with people (this is making me rethink whether my career choice is an ideal one anymore
-I also now feel less comfortable expressing my emotions so freely but think of them a lot when by myself
-I prefer to look from several different points of view and remain as objective and unswayed by emotion as I can in all situations
J vs P
-Like to have a plan in place and feel uncomfortable on the spot
Pretty sure I'm a judger.
Other people's voiced opinions of me:
-I've been recently told by a colleague that I'm very quietly methodical (I took as a compliment) but she was really trying to say that I should voice my opinion in group work more
-Was told by my Mother that I was being a cold b**** ignoring my ex's recent message
-Had several people tell me recently how I come across as so quiet, sweet but that they were shocked how sarcastically witty I can be once they get to know me (I take this as a huge compliment)
On the opposite end..
-Have been told by my close friend that everyone knows "you're a sensitive flower"
Confusing.
Apologies for the length. Thank you for reading!