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Please help me find my Enneagram type

mm0

New member
Joined
May 16, 2016
Messages
3
Hello. I'm new here and would like some help in determining my Enneagram type. Thanks :)


Disclaimer: How are you doing? Are there any major life events/illnesses/other issues that might be influencing you? Did you write this in one sitting, or have you pondered these issues deeply? Give us a sense of "where you're at" right now.

I am 26 years old and have recently changed jobs after 5 years with one company and am now in a completely different line of work that requires much more of me, physically and mentally (not mentally in that I have to use my intellect really, but just be aware of what’s going on and keep track of multiple things). I am moving out of an apartment I have shared with an on-and-off boyfriend for the same length of time, about 5 years, and all of this change has prompted me to reconsider why I am doing anything that I am doing in the first place. I’m about to be a junior in college and have recently been given the option to ‘come home’ if I need or want to, the thought of which is both comforting and objectionable. (forgive me if I come off as overly formal, I tend to write that way. In everyday life I don’t speak much, and when I do it’s casual)

0. What's making you unsure of your type? What research have you already done to determine type?

I’ve read a lot about the Enneagram, done body work and inner work, spoken with a couple Enneagram therapists and spiritual teachers etc, and none of it has sunk in in a meaningful way. Seems to glance off a shield? I’ve tried to read more carefully lately, but I’ve been able to read entire books without remembering a single thing I’ve read and only having a vague impression of it afterward. Based on my ability to be uncertain and to procrastinate I came to the conclusion that I was a 9 (after dabbling in 4, and 3), but I don’t know that a 9 would be so concerned with ‘finding their place in life.’ I can be inviting and accepting but don’t have the warm and earthy presence that I have experienced from other 9s. I can be patient and stoic but am frequently motivated by fear and stress.

1. Establish a "baseline mood"--when you're at home with nothing to do, where are you at mentally and emotionally? What do you notice in yourself? (Note, this is not a mood you inhabit "frequently", but your psychological baseline).

My baseline mental activity can be summed up as a diminutive “?,” with a mix of hopefulness, pessimism, and “what should I do and not have done?”

2. Describe yourself--
a. What's it like to be you?
b. What have others said about you?
c. What do you think of yourself?


a. To be me is to be someone trying to be me while seldom succeeding, and to enjoy small amounts of tasty and healthy foods, good books, and getting a little bit good at a few things and mysteriously stopping. I have to remind myself to breathe. I’m a very curious person. I’d like to be very good at at least one thing. I would like to be able to say everything in one or two words, and to stop myself from talking too much or sharing too much information.

b. Coworkers have described me as patient, kind, musical, and forgiving. Those closer to me have described me as selfish, bohemian, artsy, sweet, smart, clingy, emotional, self-centered yet lacking completely in self-knowledge, etc.

c. I think a lot of things, I can’t and don’t want to write them all down. I think I’m close to being a real person. I’m alive enough.

3. What are the issues you've dealt with in life? List some recurrent themes, and tell us a little about each one.

Recurrent themes are not finishing what I start, too much navel-gazing with too little to show for it, getting sidetracked by what I ‘should’ do, going back to ‘dreams,’ taking too much stock in relationships, especially this last one, where every word he said was good and true and insightful and meant that I needed to reconsider what I was doing because he obviously knows me better than I do. I think that’s the biggest thing – thinking other people have the truth and then becoming confused. And hiding from others.

4. You're not good at everything--
a. What personality traits and/or ways of being are impossible for you to adopt?
b. What are qualities you'd like to have, but can't seem to develop?

a. I haven’t tried to do this, but I don’t think I could live in the outdoors or like a nomad. I like the comforts of living under a roof and having food readily available.
b. I’d like to be funny, insightful, centered/grounded, honest, intelligent, observant, and really motivated. I want to have a strong sense of self and purpose. Physically, I’d like to move gracefully. Again, I’d also like to be really good at something. I want to be bold!

5. Why have you left friends and other relationships in the past and/or why have they left you?

I don’t think I can really speak for why others left me, although for my first relationship I would say it was due to emotional instability. Being clueless and relatively compliant has been a plus in some relationships and a minus in others. I have left because of being interested in others, being bored in the relationship, lack of honesty, etc.

6. Which types do you identify with most?


9, 4, 3, and 6.

a. How do you relate to these types?


9: Cloudy thinking, see silver-lining, seeing from multiple perspectives, procrastination, automatic merging with others, obsession with comfort, blanking out

4: need to find myself, unstable sense of identity, wanting to find a unique purpose in life, imagining romantic encounters, feeling flawed, fantasizing over action, need to be ‘artistic’

3: want to be successful, sense of identity comes primarily from doing, wants to motivate others, if I’m not dead then there’s still hope!

6: deferring to authority of others, resenting authority figures, ‘running on stress while complaining about it,’ preoccupation with security

b. How do you NOT relate to them?

9: not physically grounded, can be snobby and resentful, can be very emotional, too concerned with myself and finding what I want

4: I’ve been in a relationship with a 4 for a long time and he is very, very self-assured, loves to be controversial, is incredibly insightful, much more image-conscious, and more self-indulgent. I usually try to compromise (though will sometimes stand my ground) and tend to agree more than disagree. I am not very insightful and have gone a month without washing my hair if I’m depressed (which may take me a while to recognize)

3: I don’t accomplish much for a 3, and am not image-conscious to the degree a 3 would probably be. Also not aggressive.

6: I’m not a group/teams person, and I tend to be naïve and overly trusting.

7. Which types are least like you?

8?

a. Why specifically do you not relate to these types?

I only wish I had the confidence and vivacity of an 8! I am not aggressive or dominating in that way. I’m too flimsy to be an 8.

b. What points (if any) DO you relate to?


I suppose I’d like to be inspiring, and in my own way I try to control my immediate environment by being prepared and will sometimes overbuy on certain things. I’m pretty sure my father is an 8 and he always has extra stock in another closet. I’m also somewhat motivated by lust and have a great deal of sexual energy, somewhere.

8. They claim enneagram type is a hidden love need. What are your attitudes toward finding love?

My attitude toward love is that somewhere there is a perfect complement to me and we will be best friends to each other. I think I hope. I’m not expecting perfection, but to know that our love is solid underneath whatever happens, I hope for that. I hope to find that within myself so that I am not trying to get it from someone else.

9. What is the message your superego tells you?

Um… “you’re selfish” and “you did that wrong.”

Consider a time when you felt poorly about yourself--this means your ego (i.e. YOU) is receiving negative feedback from your superego. Write a conversation between the two of them--what is your superego telling you about how to be? (Note: this obviously is very personal and may be better done privately. Report your findings).

I am my ego…?

No one wants to listen to you, you shouldn’t say anything, someone else will say it, it doesn’t matter what you say, you should already have done this,that,etc, you shouldn’t have said or done that, you did that wrong, you’re wasting time, you’ll never be good enough. Actually I think that’s mostly ego stuff. But I think most people have a script like that somewhere inside. I think a big one is that I don’t deserve to follow my dreams, why should I get to when other people don’t? I don’t know what they are in any case.

For the following, rank the issues in the order they apply and give a brief description of why and how you relate.

10. Determine your ego ideal--the way you strive to be and want others to perceive you. (Note, you may be consciously aware of failing at this, and you will be hard on yourself if you do. If someone else tells you you're NOT this way, it may make you feel hurt, violated, or angry.)

Which of the following ideals resonate with you the most, and why? Rank them.


- to be a loveable person
- to be sensitive, original, unique, and creative
- to strive to become/behave like a good person
- to be loving and benevolent
- to be knowledgeable
- to be accomplished and successful
- to be powerful, strong, unassailable.
- to be "okay", having it together
- to be devoted and loyal to a person or cause

11. Determine your "felt sense" of life. To do this it may help to look at how you perceive events. Another way to do this is to look back at your childhood and think of all the things your parents did to you. How did you/do you feel about these events?

My felt sense of life has been very, very different in the past, but at this moment, my felt sense in looking back at life is “That happened.”

Of the suggestions listed, these two resonated the most:

- I have a sense of being unimportant, insignificant, and undeserving of attention
- I'm outside the natural unfoldment of things

12. Core fears. You may have been aware of these fears even as a very small child, before anyone did anything to influence it. You'd be mortified to be in this position or have others perceive you this way.

Discuss which fears have played the greatest role in your life:


- Creating conflict by making myself or my needs too obvious
- Rejection, being needy, and not being loved
- Weak and not being on top of things
- Failure
- Being abandoned, sadness, feeling lost
- Entanglements and losing what I have
- Something is basically wrong with me--I'm not good enough
- Boredom, grunt work, and being exposed as a charlatan
- A lot--everything and everyone to one degree or another. It's very generalized.

Yeah, all of the above.
 

Punderstorm

Wallflower power!
Joined
Mar 14, 2016
Messages
736
MBTI Type
INxP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Hmmmm, probably 3w4 sp/sx maybe? I'm not very good with enneagram..
 

Hawthorne

corona
Joined
Jan 8, 2015
Messages
1,946
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
9w1 sx/sp. 1's static-y tension is probably what makes it hard for you to relate to that solid, earthy feeling. That's more common with w8's.

Depending on your health you could be a 3 but I agree that I don't see much image in your post. Stick around and establish a presence if you want more (and stronger) opinions.
 

mm0

New member
Joined
May 16, 2016
Messages
3
9w1 sx/sp. 1's static-y tension is probably what makes it hard for you to relate to that solid, earthy feeling. That's more common with w8's.

Depending on your health you could be a 3 but I agree that I don't see much image in your post. Stick around and establish a presence if you want more (and stronger) opinions.

Thank you, will do.
 

Generalist

New member
Joined
Nov 12, 2015
Messages
212
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9
Instinctual Variant
sp
You seem to be pretty stressed out about stuff. Take this with a huge grain of salt, I think you might be a six. It also might be advisable to take a break from typing, give your mind a rest, that could help a lot. Have you checked out the enneagram institute? They have a section all about mistyping, I assume you have but I thought you would mention it anyways. good luck.
 
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