Omg there are actually responses I didn't think there would be responses and I was all prepared to be super bummed out.
Ok Ill even do a questionere one second I have to find the one that makes me vomit the least!
Ok!
Personal concepts
1. What is beauty? What is love?
Hm. What is beauty is a tricky one. I mean I could write a whole bunch of flowery things but- I mean to me beauty is just- its that feeling that you get when everything in the world just seems to come together. There is also this thing that physically happens to me sometimes when I fall onto something really powerful- to be a real wordsmith here- it feels like I am having an orgasm in my chest. My heart just fucking lights up, it sort of feels like it is swelling and going to burst, and all that I want in that moment is for it never to end- to be able to catch whatever it is that is so affecting. To not let it slip away. And then there is pain afterwards, because I know that it is potentially gone- not the feeling perhaps but the feeling connected to that specific thing- I will never get it back- its over and everything seems just a bit darker.
But then I get to search again. Thats the beauty of it. There are so many different ways to just get that- feeling of, rightness. I mean glimpses of it push me further towards it and stuff like that- and absence really just makes me appreciate it all the more. It is just this feeling of. Its this feeling of there being something 'more', something 'meaningful', and 'new'. Thoughts like that are what keep me going- the potential for that. And I think that is beautiful.
And I think that beuaty- true beauty, is love. But maybe love is more faceted. More practical. Less pure because of it-maybe not actual 'love' but the consequences of it.
2. What are your most important values?
Honesty. Honesty. Honesty. Without honesty, we really have nothing as people in my opinion. Without honesty people remain in a state of permanent NOWness- it destroys development, destroys self growth, and really just- a dishonest person is a coward. A blight imo. And by that, courage is also huge for me. If someone can truly come up to me and say- 'frosty I hate your guts' I will have more respect for them then if I suspect they dislike me but choose to still act kindly-(that though I might be able to tolerate more though than passive aggressiveness) - like a 'Maybe if SOME people would keep their guts away from me-yada yada yada-(I need a better example of this/passive aggressiveness I think.
Anyways. So honesty and courage. Both huge to me. Both actually tease out that feeling I described in the beauty question sometimes. And genuine kindness. Genuine. Even when it is difficult. Especially when its difficult. Really, anything gains power to me if I see that the person genuinely put up a struggle to do it- if it was easier to do something else- yet they still chose to do 'something better/whats right/whats good'.
3. Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
I hope that there is something more. And I hope that if there is NOT more, then I can be... Then I will be ok. I will be non-existant. Non-existance does not scare me. It really doesn't. In my mind- it is just a continuation- whatever comes after I think is- of what came before. There were millions/billions of years before me-where was I then? I don't think I was-whatever I was- was suffering. So why would I think I would suffer after death? I mean, maybe before I WAS burning in the deepest pit of hell- but I have norecollection of it- and eventually it lead to something... Else. It lead to this. So if the alternative to life is something negative, well as long as I can believe it is transitory(and if there is something I am conscious for before and after- all signs DO point, it would all, have to be transitory) there would be an end. A sweet end. As long as I can believe in hope- I am ok. So I suppose that is where my spiritual beliefs extend to-whatever there is, if I am conscious for it- I want to still hold onto my hope. If Im not conscious then nothing much matters.
4. Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
I don't like war.
I think it is awful that people have to go out and hurt other people- but I do believe that unfortunately something HAS to be done- and althoughI don't know much about stuff this all involves- I would think that sometimes war, and things that might be awful at first glance, might be necessary. Good. Maybe maybe not. But practically necessary- yes. I never believed. Ok so my friend told me once that it was decided to be immoral to-if presented with a problem like the trolley car problem- make any sort of choice. Because, she had been told/taught- that we cannot as mortal humans decide the quantity of the quality of someones life- we cannot make that decision. And I mean sure, I sort of believe that- philosophically. And how much it would hurt me to push that person over... Is it right to do that? I don't know. But I can maybe sort of understand intellectually why someone might decide to do that. It does, save more people- at the risk of a larger value- something larger, being corrupted... Perhaps, but still. It is a hard choice to make. So anyways. I cant condemn war. And I do appreciate anyone who fights in it. Who is brave enough to put themselves out there for it.
Interests
5. What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?
Long conversations... Hm. Well. Philosophy is one. But I mean. Not like strictly defined philosophy, just questions that come into my head. Psychology is another- something I enjoy thinking about more than discussing perhaps though. Mm I gossip, even thoughI don't really like that I do that and am trying to stop. Really though, the best conversations just have always started out with a question imo. And then draw out from there. The question can be about anything- math, myself, the color yellow- anything, as long as everyone is engaged and willing to listen to everyone elses ideas(and as long as I dont have to repeat too many things too many times) it can be a good convo. This is best when I can get my dad and my brother in it- some of my best convos have been with them, particularly my dad. Because they are both willing generally to actually THINK- maybe that sounds pretentious, but oftentimes I sort of get kinda a 'oh frosty you are too funny for asking that' when what i am asking really is something people dont actually care about- then the topic moves on to something stale and boring but easier for all to digest- something more passive.
6. Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
Sure. If I read something interesting about health or medicine, or I have a particular concern about something medical- I will definitely discuss it. My blog is full of me talking about psych stuff- isnt always strictly clinical stuff- but occasionally touches there. Ans I have no qualms- would have no qualms- if anyone were ever to ask me anything further. I mean I couldnt give like a functional analysis of anything medical- biological- really- im not a doctor- but what i know, and what I can guess and think about, I will discuss. Sure.
7. What do you think of daily chores?
Ew.
8. Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.
Hm. Ive been into more foreign and sort of- older stuff, lately. Hm well. Anything just not filmed in modern day america is preferrable. Not that I have anything against new movies- I just struggle to watch them. I mean I even struggle sometimes to watch the foreign films- but they have more of a chance with me. Media is just so damn repetative. Same backdrop again and again. Sometimes you can get away from that with the films I was saying- I mean you cant get too far because really if you mentally strip people/situations far enough they ALL start to merge together. But that point is farther away the farther you take yourself from it.
Books. Well. Im reading crime and punishment again now. I want to like it. I used to read a hell of a lot more than I do now. I read watership down like 2 days ago and found it boring. The problem with me is i get bored tol easily.
9. What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
I rarely cry. Even when I am extremely stressed I might only shed a tear or 2. My parents did not tolerate crying, so eventually I pretty much stopped. And I have a hard time doing it now I suppose because of that.
I might 'let myself' cry during a sad movie. Someone dies I might cry. Someone says something/yells too long- breaks me somewhere a bit- I might cry. But really, crying isnt a big thing for me.
Many things make me smile. Things I find amusing, and things I find simply 'good'. I love to smile when it is sincere-I hate smiling, and generally avoid it, if it is not.
10. Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
No where. And everywhere. This one is too hard.
Need to take a break.
Back later for the rest of this.
Evaluation & Behaviour
11. What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
12. What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
13. In what areas of your life would you like help?
14. Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
People & Interactions
15. What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
16. How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
17. If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
18. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
19. Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
20. How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
21. How do you behave around strangers?
