tsumatachi_san
New member
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2009
- Messages
- 91
- MBTI Type
- ISTJ
- Enneagram
- 4w5
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/so
1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
I'm driven to make things – so in most cases that means writing stories. I enjoy just being able to explore worlds. When I was younger that meant I avidly read books (pretty much all the time, solidly) then as I grew older I branched into films and games, then writing my own stories. I find that very little else gives me as much satisfaction as being able to create a world and explore it through a narrative.
I look for personal satisfaction, I guess? I mean, I love the idea that stories I write might one day reach others in the way stories reached me when I was younger, but mostly I just enjoy the writing part. In other areas of life, I look for being able to go at my own pace and not have people pushing things on me (like viewpoints).
2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
I suppose I'd like to be able to work at something I love while having enough money to support my mum and make sure she can have a nice retirement. I'd also like to be fluent in other languages (I'm pretty okay at Japanese, but not fully fluent and I don't know any other foreign languages). I'd also like to read more great books. I guess it's reaching a certain level of fulfilment again.
3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
I don't want to let things go to waste. I end up getting pretty down when people aren't able to live to their full potential because of ridiculous reasons like money or where they live and I'd never want that for myself or those I love. I'd like to avoid being stuck in the endless grind of a 'standard' life, where you're supposed to just work for money (money is just a weird concept to me – I know I need it and I don't have much of it, but it's just not... real, somehow). My older sister often says I could earn a lot working in a bank, but I think that would kill me inside.
Value-wise... I value creativity, imagination and inspiration. I also greatly value treating others kindly and with respect, as they're living creatures (this goes for all animals) unless they do something that means they no longer deserve that respect.
4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
Never really writing something worthwhile or 'good', people I care for never really understanding how much I love them, hurting others, being exposed to the world, being unable to spend time in my own world etc. Because it would be painful and leave me feeling empty.
5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
I don't really mind how others see me. That's up to them.
I see myself... as a bit incompetent. I feel like most other people seem to cope with life better than I do and, while I struggle with simple things like just making conversation, they're mostly able to do that without thinking.
6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
Best: When I have a really, genuinely good idea – something that creates a feeling of inspiration and 'fullness' inside me. It puts me on a level of elation, a kind of 'high'.
Worst: When I make mistakes, especially stupid ones. Especially when it involves other people. I want to fade out of life then.
7. Describe how you experience each of:
a) Anger – surprising. I tend to be generally very calm, then suddenly something will trigger my anger. I don't show it much, or only to a few close people, but it surprises me.
b) Shame – uncomfortable, but not too much of a big deal. I feel ashamed of having a poor constitution and not being able to do things other people seem to find easy, but it doesn't fill my mind.
c) Anxiety – persistent. If something unexpected/new comes up, especially when it involves me being responsible for something to do with it, I get tightness in my chest and it can build up until I feel like crying. Kind of panic that I'm going to not know how to do something and will be exposed as incompetent.
8. Describe how you respond to each of:
a) Stress – Generally I don't really know how to deal with it and it ends up building up and making me physically ill. I try to pace myself with things so I can avoid it, though.
b) Unexpected change – Internal screaming, mostly. I really can't stand it... I tend to start asking someone who seems like they know what they're doing a lot of questions to kind of.. orient myself.
c) Conflict – Internal groaning. I find conflict really tiring, but I also feel like I have to pursue certain issues and resolve them.
9. Describe your orientation to:
a) Authority – Do they deserve their authority? Are they competent? If they are, fine. If not, I'll just have to work around them.
b) Power – Discomfort. I prefer people to be on equal footing.
10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
If people were kinder to each other and were better educated, the world would be a better place. Ignorance breeds intolerance which breeds hate and anger. Humanity probably isn't such a good idea any more and its downsides outweigh the good it can do. Humans are arrogant, but they're not bad or evil. I couldn't hate them.
Life is difficult, but it has good points.
Optional Questions 11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.
Skipping.
12. Comment on your relationship with trust.
I find it easy to trust certain people, but I don't think I've ever been inclined to reveal the entirety of my being to someone. It's not a necessary part of trust, I don't think. I generally wouldn't tell people outside of close family/friends very personal things because it makes me uncomfortable more than I don't trust them (I don't really care much if they talk about me, for example).
13. List some of the traits you:
a) Like – My open-mindedness, my diligence with things that matter to me, my creativity (love/hate).
b) Dislike most about yourself – My lack of skill socially and, to an extent, how I switch between caring and not caring about trying, the fact I can be very hesitant towards things, how I get 'stuck' and have to spend a while just letting my thoughts simmer to kind of get back out of the rut again.
14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
Their potential.
15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?
Insults don't really affect me if they're from strangers, though I might be a bit concerned for my safety if they were very threatening.
Compliments catch me off-guard and I just... don't respond to them. I sort of pretend they didn't happen.
16. What's something you are:
a) Thankful you have – My family, my imagination/ability to learn, the view from my window.
b) Wish you could have. Why? - A better understanding of the world and why it works the way it does (I studied anthropology, but it didn't tell me too much more about why and how the world is as it is...) As for why, I just don't like not understanding things. It bothers me.
I'm driven to make things – so in most cases that means writing stories. I enjoy just being able to explore worlds. When I was younger that meant I avidly read books (pretty much all the time, solidly) then as I grew older I branched into films and games, then writing my own stories. I find that very little else gives me as much satisfaction as being able to create a world and explore it through a narrative.
I look for personal satisfaction, I guess? I mean, I love the idea that stories I write might one day reach others in the way stories reached me when I was younger, but mostly I just enjoy the writing part. In other areas of life, I look for being able to go at my own pace and not have people pushing things on me (like viewpoints).
2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
I suppose I'd like to be able to work at something I love while having enough money to support my mum and make sure she can have a nice retirement. I'd also like to be fluent in other languages (I'm pretty okay at Japanese, but not fully fluent and I don't know any other foreign languages). I'd also like to read more great books. I guess it's reaching a certain level of fulfilment again.
3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
I don't want to let things go to waste. I end up getting pretty down when people aren't able to live to their full potential because of ridiculous reasons like money or where they live and I'd never want that for myself or those I love. I'd like to avoid being stuck in the endless grind of a 'standard' life, where you're supposed to just work for money (money is just a weird concept to me – I know I need it and I don't have much of it, but it's just not... real, somehow). My older sister often says I could earn a lot working in a bank, but I think that would kill me inside.
Value-wise... I value creativity, imagination and inspiration. I also greatly value treating others kindly and with respect, as they're living creatures (this goes for all animals) unless they do something that means they no longer deserve that respect.
4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
Never really writing something worthwhile or 'good', people I care for never really understanding how much I love them, hurting others, being exposed to the world, being unable to spend time in my own world etc. Because it would be painful and leave me feeling empty.
5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
I don't really mind how others see me. That's up to them.
I see myself... as a bit incompetent. I feel like most other people seem to cope with life better than I do and, while I struggle with simple things like just making conversation, they're mostly able to do that without thinking.
6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
Best: When I have a really, genuinely good idea – something that creates a feeling of inspiration and 'fullness' inside me. It puts me on a level of elation, a kind of 'high'.
Worst: When I make mistakes, especially stupid ones. Especially when it involves other people. I want to fade out of life then.
7. Describe how you experience each of:
a) Anger – surprising. I tend to be generally very calm, then suddenly something will trigger my anger. I don't show it much, or only to a few close people, but it surprises me.
b) Shame – uncomfortable, but not too much of a big deal. I feel ashamed of having a poor constitution and not being able to do things other people seem to find easy, but it doesn't fill my mind.
c) Anxiety – persistent. If something unexpected/new comes up, especially when it involves me being responsible for something to do with it, I get tightness in my chest and it can build up until I feel like crying. Kind of panic that I'm going to not know how to do something and will be exposed as incompetent.
8. Describe how you respond to each of:
a) Stress – Generally I don't really know how to deal with it and it ends up building up and making me physically ill. I try to pace myself with things so I can avoid it, though.
b) Unexpected change – Internal screaming, mostly. I really can't stand it... I tend to start asking someone who seems like they know what they're doing a lot of questions to kind of.. orient myself.
c) Conflict – Internal groaning. I find conflict really tiring, but I also feel like I have to pursue certain issues and resolve them.
9. Describe your orientation to:
a) Authority – Do they deserve their authority? Are they competent? If they are, fine. If not, I'll just have to work around them.
b) Power – Discomfort. I prefer people to be on equal footing.
10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
If people were kinder to each other and were better educated, the world would be a better place. Ignorance breeds intolerance which breeds hate and anger. Humanity probably isn't such a good idea any more and its downsides outweigh the good it can do. Humans are arrogant, but they're not bad or evil. I couldn't hate them.
Life is difficult, but it has good points.
Optional Questions 11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.
Skipping.
12. Comment on your relationship with trust.
I find it easy to trust certain people, but I don't think I've ever been inclined to reveal the entirety of my being to someone. It's not a necessary part of trust, I don't think. I generally wouldn't tell people outside of close family/friends very personal things because it makes me uncomfortable more than I don't trust them (I don't really care much if they talk about me, for example).
13. List some of the traits you:
a) Like – My open-mindedness, my diligence with things that matter to me, my creativity (love/hate).
b) Dislike most about yourself – My lack of skill socially and, to an extent, how I switch between caring and not caring about trying, the fact I can be very hesitant towards things, how I get 'stuck' and have to spend a while just letting my thoughts simmer to kind of get back out of the rut again.
14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
Their potential.
15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?
Insults don't really affect me if they're from strangers, though I might be a bit concerned for my safety if they were very threatening.
Compliments catch me off-guard and I just... don't respond to them. I sort of pretend they didn't happen.
16. What's something you are:
a) Thankful you have – My family, my imagination/ability to learn, the view from my window.
b) Wish you could have. Why? - A better understanding of the world and why it works the way it does (I studied anthropology, but it didn't tell me too much more about why and how the world is as it is...) As for why, I just don't like not understanding things. It bothers me.
