I'm new to personality typing. I've been reading up on mbti and enneagram for the last few years, and I'm fascinated--but confused as to my type. I repeatedly identify with multiple "i" types, but always test as E to about a 60% favorability. I know the online tests are not accurate, and I have tried the approach of finding a type I seem to fit best, but invariably, "i" types seem to fit more accurately in every aspect, save for shyness. They are always described as shy. I am not shy. Not even a little. I will talk to anyone confidently in almost any situation. Being able to put others conversationally at ease in new environments is a skill for me. I'm a chatterbox. And I have no stage fright when it comes to speaking in front a group, large or small.
But...I prefer a book to almost anything.
I hate parties. It's a chore for me. Any time I click "yes" to an invitation, it's because I want to "be there" for the person throwing the party. I would, almost invariably, always rather stay home. (I wonder if this is because I feel I am "expected" to talk. I'd probably enjoy the parties more if I could sit off to the side and watch, but my friends know me as a talker, so that's what I do.)
When I am out walking my dog, I am very uncomfortable running into chatty neighbors. (I never let them see this because I want them to feel seen and valued. So I chat. But inside I am squirming and so ready to get on with my walk and just listen to my damn podcasts alone.)
I have very few friendships, only a few close people. Mainly, my husband and my sister and 2-3 girlfriends who I see very irregularly.
On the flip side, I am a private business owner with many, many clients, and I believe part of the reason my business is so successful is my ability to so easily converse with people and set them at ease. I teach, therefore I talk for a living, and I'm good at it. In that context, it's never a chore. It lights me up.
In a nutshell, I'm very, very comfortable talking, but I only enjoy it when I am teaching or talking about whatever I'm working through with a close friend. In all other scenarios, talking is a chore.
For the record, I always test as ENFP, but I don't feel it's accurate. Descriptions of behavior such as having many relationships and moving from one thing to the next while forgetting about how it affects people is not me at all. I'm always, to an unhealthy degree at times, worried about how my actions and words affect others and are taken by others.
So, I guess my question isn't, what's my type, but rather, what's the explanation for the fact that I identify with many introverted types but never the shyness aspect? How does shyness manifest in introverted types, and does growing up with an EXTREMELY CHATTY mother explain how I learned this skill early and use it often? Or am I just fighting the fact that I'm extroverted?
Thanks in advance for helping me navigate!
But...I prefer a book to almost anything.
I hate parties. It's a chore for me. Any time I click "yes" to an invitation, it's because I want to "be there" for the person throwing the party. I would, almost invariably, always rather stay home. (I wonder if this is because I feel I am "expected" to talk. I'd probably enjoy the parties more if I could sit off to the side and watch, but my friends know me as a talker, so that's what I do.)
When I am out walking my dog, I am very uncomfortable running into chatty neighbors. (I never let them see this because I want them to feel seen and valued. So I chat. But inside I am squirming and so ready to get on with my walk and just listen to my damn podcasts alone.)
I have very few friendships, only a few close people. Mainly, my husband and my sister and 2-3 girlfriends who I see very irregularly.
On the flip side, I am a private business owner with many, many clients, and I believe part of the reason my business is so successful is my ability to so easily converse with people and set them at ease. I teach, therefore I talk for a living, and I'm good at it. In that context, it's never a chore. It lights me up.
In a nutshell, I'm very, very comfortable talking, but I only enjoy it when I am teaching or talking about whatever I'm working through with a close friend. In all other scenarios, talking is a chore.
For the record, I always test as ENFP, but I don't feel it's accurate. Descriptions of behavior such as having many relationships and moving from one thing to the next while forgetting about how it affects people is not me at all. I'm always, to an unhealthy degree at times, worried about how my actions and words affect others and are taken by others.
So, I guess my question isn't, what's my type, but rather, what's the explanation for the fact that I identify with many introverted types but never the shyness aspect? How does shyness manifest in introverted types, and does growing up with an EXTREMELY CHATTY mother explain how I learned this skill early and use it often? Or am I just fighting the fact that I'm extroverted?
Thanks in advance for helping me navigate!
