LavenderSoda
New member
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2015
- Messages
- 128
- MBTI Type
- ISTP
- Enneagram
- 5w4
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/so
I've studied over cognitive functions numerous times, day & night. I have taken numerous personality test; but I cannot seem to find the BEST fit. I have NLD (Nonverbal Learning Disorder) I was diagnosed with this disorder probably 2 years ago. I realized I ''contracted'' or I developed it when I had my hair permed as a baby and to my neurologist, he believes that had an effect on who I am. When I was a baby (before the chemical burn) I began reading, writing and talking at a early age, I didn't cry much; but when I did it lasted for a long time. I was still an introvert; but I wanted to have some sort of human contact. I loved reading and drawing. I touched EVERYTHING, I broke EVERYTHING. I was rather active. I was into running, I loved to run. I could beat even most adults when I did run. I had a very little friends because I was introspective. I was much sunnier and a bit more brighter when I was smaller. I didn't like cartoons, I didn't watch them for a long time. I liked softer things. It was all about the sensation for me. I didn't like loud noises so things had to be quiet or no sound. That's all I basically remember. Because of the disorder I have..as I get older, it was to get worse. When I was 8 years old, I was bullied in school. I was a hard worker in school. I stayed constantly after class to pull my grades up. I tried my best to please my parents. I was overly hard on myself, very active..yet I wasn't as coordinated as all the children, little things bothered me. Everything had to be as so. I cried when I wasn't accepted into different extracurricular activities. I paid little attention to the subjects I disliked as in Math. I was highly unteachable in that subject. I am still trying to fill in the gaps that I missed. Adults bullied me, I wasn't good enough and I wasn't efficient enough. They felt as though I didn't try hard enough so I'd push myself over the limit until I couldn't learn anymore. I began lying, I lied about everything because I figured that if I could make up a world where everything I do is right, no one would question my idiosyncrasies. All the lies caught up to me though and I was in big trouble for them. During that time I was ''abused'' by a loved one..physically, mentally and emotionally. I was chubber then, so I was teased for that. After that school year was over with, I began homeschooling. I had been homeschooling ever since. My disorder had gotten worse and so I began having anxiety attacks, panic attacks and sensory overloads.. (because when I was little I was a sensation type of child. I had to feel see, smell, touch and all of that) The friends I had left me, I was too much to deal with, I was embarassing. I wasn't a socialize person. I wasn't invited to parties. I'd cry because I felt like I was too different and I wanted to be efficient, I wanted to blend in. I wanted to be an extrovert. I wanted to have friends. I didn't wanna be different. I wanted to be normal, I would strive to be them; but there was just a barrier between me & human nature. I have my own set of morals and my own beliefs, I try to stay authentic through and through. I strive not to be hypocritical. I am a woman of my word and I am a woman of no words. I was always turned off by romance. I wasn't into it..I was focused on reaching my goals. I was highly motivated and very goal oriented. There was nothing I couldn't achieve in my eyes, once before. Now my NLD has gotten worse, I no longer draw, write or anything. I'm still goal oriented in a way. I became more darker, restless. I stopped sensing, I stopped touching. I didn't want to experience life anymore. I stay in my room, I type to you guys, lol. I read about theories. I study them and if I see they are false, I let them go and on the next topic. Its hard for me to stay with a topic, if I am no longer interested or if I have learned everything about it I let it go. I enter into plans wide eyed and bushy tailed only to drop them if I dislike them. In a way, I am a bit like my sensory self. I had to experience things first, I didn't know whether or not if it was bad until I did it. I began feeling rather iNtuitive after I had been abraded by those experiences. I learned to listen to my gut feeling and my first though which was ALWAYS an issue for me since I had been younger. I had the tendency to ignore my inner emotions and to just bulldoze right into it.
That's about what I wanted to share. If you needed to know anymore information, i'll gladly answer questions.
If you don't feel like I am any of those personality types listed above, please state the personality type you believe I am and why?
Also, I did daydream a lot when I was younger; but only much more after I was 8 years old. I daydream about goals I want to reach and dreams that I want to become reality. When I was 8-11 (pre-depression/ PTSD era) I daydreamed about intense stories..I'd even pace around the house acting it out. I thought I had Maladaptive Daydream Disorder.
I love to research different things, I am always googling different things and trying to figure out why things are the way they are
I'm not very interested in where humanity is going. I'm more interested in leaving a little to okay generation for ours children and that is about it. I'm not a feminist and I'm not apart of any boycotting for veganism or any causes. Especially anything like a vegan cause or feminist cause for example. I march to the beat of my own drum, i guess you can say. I'm more interested investigative things. I'm not interested in totally impractical things. I use logic or try to implement logic when I was daydreaming or trying to make a dream reality.
I believe everything happens for a reason, I take life as it comes. I try to deal with the situation at hand. I'm very blunt and aggressive with speech; but I am also an introvert, so it takes a lot to get that out of me in a social atmosphere.
That's about what I wanted to share. If you needed to know anymore information, i'll gladly answer questions.
If you don't feel like I am any of those personality types listed above, please state the personality type you believe I am and why?
Also, I did daydream a lot when I was younger; but only much more after I was 8 years old. I daydream about goals I want to reach and dreams that I want to become reality. When I was 8-11 (pre-depression/ PTSD era) I daydreamed about intense stories..I'd even pace around the house acting it out. I thought I had Maladaptive Daydream Disorder.
I love to research different things, I am always googling different things and trying to figure out why things are the way they are
I'm not very interested in where humanity is going. I'm more interested in leaving a little to okay generation for ours children and that is about it. I'm not a feminist and I'm not apart of any boycotting for veganism or any causes. Especially anything like a vegan cause or feminist cause for example. I march to the beat of my own drum, i guess you can say. I'm more interested investigative things. I'm not interested in totally impractical things. I use logic or try to implement logic when I was daydreaming or trying to make a dream reality.
I believe everything happens for a reason, I take life as it comes. I try to deal with the situation at hand. I'm very blunt and aggressive with speech; but I am also an introvert, so it takes a lot to get that out of me in a social atmosphere.
