The Infamous INFP or INFJ Question.

[Norrsken]

Hello all. I guess I'll put down in bulletin points as to why I am so confused about these two types. Every time I take those MBTI quizzes, I always get either INFP or INFJ, with the P/J part being especially tied nearly 50%/50% whenever I took these online assessments. Reading this thread, I definitely agree that I am the responding type, but the directing/informing part confuses me and I cannot really tell which ones I do without my own bias. I am also, without much doubt:

Idealist/Catalyst (Abstract and Affiliative): Want to be authentic, benevolent, and empathic. Search for identity, meaning, and significance. Are relationship oriented, particularly valuing meaningful relationships. (INFP, INFJ, ENFP, ENFJ)

Hopefully, I will put this to rest and can move on with the correct diagnosis with all of your help tonight. Have fun figuring me out!

• Energy: I definitely get my energy from spending time alone. I either enjoy spending solitary time, or with one special person. My ideal crowd size should not exceed 3 other people, or else I shut down and not talk much; not because I hate the people, but I enjoy observing them rather than actively interject myself into the conversations. I am okay in parties, as long as I don't get ALL the attention.
• Social: I love harmony. I dislike arguments, I hate being in a fight with those I love, and the slightest criticism or the wrong look can ruin my entire day. Although I can be outspoken about what I strongly believe in (and don't mind fighting with strangers on the internet about it, LOL), I don't try to actively start an argument for argument's sake. What's the point of being impolite? I always cringe when there is someone trying to start something with other people, and I just want everybody to get along. I can't stand people who try so hard to be 'edgy', I almost can't explain it, but it's so childish that I have to roll my eyes every time. Rude people are disgusting to me, and maybe that is rude of me to say, but it is true. I LOVE to give advice to other people, and I have gotten in trouble so many times over this; I've been accused of being pig headed about the other person's feelings, because I am quick to tell them to what they should do to solve their problems rather than just give them the same tired "It's going to be okay!" mantra. Of all the times I had to stand up for myself... it was merely by accident and only after stuffing it down for too long. I can scare people with my rage if they mess with me on the wrong day.
• Intellect: I process information through my intuition. Definitely. Growing up, I was the daydreamer type, much to the deterioration of my grades. I did do well in a college setting, strangely enough. I am intrigued by the unknown, the things that cannot be seen or felt. I can be a bit scatterbrained and quite forgetful of the everyday things. I never forget the very important things in life, though. If you did something incredibly foolish, believe me, I will hold it over you in humor 20+ years from now.
• Emotion: I am so sensitive, I wish I could buy a sunblock for feelings so that I can get thicker skin. I hurt for those who are hurt, even towards those who are complete strangers. Despite having a bleeding heart for other people, I am my own worst critic. I love to counsel and help others in any way I can. I can sometimes be too nice, letting others step over me, and to this day, I still have not learned my lesson. I trust way too easily; I guess I just want to believe that there really are pure souls in this world.
• Jobs: I don't have a career. In fact, I am not very ambitious. I love being at home right now, while my fiance goes to his job, and I enjoy being a homemaker, though I definitely need to take up a hobby and maybe make some new friends. I never found my true calling, though I love to write, and perhaps a writing gig would fit me beautifully. Otherwise, I studied business administrations and will do all I can to be the best secretary in the whole wide world! Okay, maybe not, but at least it'll keep me busy! Growing up, I was definitely the creative type: Loved to draw, dance, act, paint, and write stories.
• Appearance: I wear my hair long, and truth be told, as much as I enjoy grooming and showering myself, I am not a very fashion-forward type of person. I make sure my clothes are nice and clean before going out, and I'll put on some perfume and light makeup to look presentable. Otherwise, I seem to have a more simpler, bohemian kind of beauty. I tend to gravitate towards ways to enhance my natural beauty rather than masking it, I suppose. Fun outfits and makeup looks, though, during parties, are fun to try out for me.
• Morals: I can be a bit of a live-and-let-live person, but I won't lie, I do judge people quite strongly sometimes. I expect people to pull their weight, though I hardly say this out loud. I do follow traditions, and while I dislike religion as a whole, I do like to celebrate yearly holidays with loved ones. I don't think I'm a conservative, though it seems that the older I am getting, the more I seem to pull towards it.
• Organization: I can be methodical, and like to follow the rules to keep the peace. My room can be messy, likewise for other things in life, but I can also be anal-retentive when it is time to clean up and organize things. I get anxious unless I put everything back EXACTLY where it should be, and I can't stand it when my partner just fling everything on the floor, bless his heart. At jobs and in college, I make things as organized as I can. Otherwise, I become jittery. I edit and re-edit things to the point of obsession, striving for the elusive perfection that doesn't even exist.

Well, I hope this is enough information. Thanks in advance!

 

[Smilephantomhive]

I get the feeling that you haven't looked at the cognitive functions yet, am I right?

When you say you are sensitive, are you saying you're sensitive to other people's feelings or your own? Would you call yourself an empath?

You seem INFJ to me, but that may be wrong.

 

[Norrsken]

I get the feeling that you haven't looked at the cognitive functions yet, am I right?

When you say you are sensitive, are you saying you're sensitive to other people's feelings or your own? Would you call yourself an empath?

You seem INFJ to me, but that may be wrong.

I am familiar with the cognitive functions. I have taken numerous quizzes, and either I get INFP or INFJ. 50/50. Hence the madness. When I say I am sensitive, I suppose my own feelings tend to come first over other people, though I am very empathetic and compassionate too. I just want the best for everybody.

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

Do you smoke pot frequently?

 

[Norrsken]

Do you smoke pot frequently?

Do you even have to ask, bruh? Nah but I did smoked during my high school years, not so much anymore. Speaking of pot, I think when it comes to liberalism, I am getting more and more turned off by it as the years roll by. It is starting to get on my nerves on how some people are living that hedonistic lifestyle and it rubs me the wrong way when they choose pleasure over doing the right thing. Not that I am no means a perfect saint myself, having had my rebellious phase before and all... but I just don't see the glamour anymore. Maybe it's an age thing rather than a type thing.

EDIT: I sound so awfully judgmental tonight, please forgive me.

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

You sound like an intj mocking an infj.

 

[Norrsken]

You sound like an intj mocking an infj.

You know something, my fiance jokingly accused me of being an INTJ. When I asked him how in the world did he came up with that notion, he told me because:

1. I can be too serious during social events. Small chit-chats annoy me, and I'd rather get to the point with a deep topic instead. I also feel fake whenever I try to be a cool, laid-back type of person. I can still make people laugh, though, so that's one point for me.
2. I bury my feelings and never let people know how I feel. I can be hard to read by strangers; I deadpan them whenever I have idiots trying to flirt with me or impose themselves in my space. I just can't with those who think throwing me a lame pickup line will get me interested in them. Of course, I can be very sweet when someone treats me normally. I have had classmates accuse me of being too cold to approach, but really I am just really scared of interaction, despite yearning close relationships with others.
3. My fiance tells me I hold myself back too much. My mother tells me the same thing. Despite feeling intensely, I do that Elsa impersonation. "Conceal, don't feel, don't let it show."

I really do not see myself as a Thinking type, honestly.

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

^ I agree with all that. Except the part about fear. I do not fear anything.

I do not think of myself as a thinking type either. I score INFJ on pretty much every free test I take. And knowledgable peeps here tell me I am definitely an infj.

Yet when I took the official MBTI test, I scored INTP. Though the TP part was minimal.

It's hard to know if someone is an F or T. I can tell it best in others, not so much myself. Lately I am leaning to myself being more a T-type, for various reasons. My point being, that you can be a T but still have feelings that you express, and be sensitive. INTJs are extremely sensitive. That is why they tend to be alcoholics.

 

[Norrsken]

^ I agree with all that. Except the part about fear. I do not fear anything.

I do not think of myself as a thinking type either. I score INFJ on pretty much every free test I take. And knowledgable peeps here tell me I am definitely an infj.

Yet when I took the official MBTI test, I scored INTP. Though the TP part was minimal.

It's hard to know if someone is an F or T. I can tell it best in others, not so much myself. Lately I am leaning to myself being more a T-type, for various reasons. My point being, that you can be a T but still have feelings that you express, and be sensitive. INTJs are extremely sensitive. That is why they tend to be alcoholics.

When you say fear, though, can you be more specific? I am fearful of others because I am afraid that they'll either make fun of me, reject me cruelly, or that I cannot socialize as well as they can. I want to belong somewhere, what ever that may be, in a harmonious group.

Do tell me where this official MBTI test is, though. Is it very accurate, you think?

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

When you say fear, though, can you be more specific? I am fearful of others because I am afraid that they'll either make fun of me, reject me cruelly, or that I cannot socialize as well as they can. I want to belong somewhere, what ever that may be, in a harmonious group.

Do tell me where this official MBTI test is, though. Is it very accurate, you think?

I see. It sounds like you have some social anxiety that I would guess is not type-related. It would take talking to figure that out. It is hard to know your own type, especially with confounding variables like active anxiety.

I suppose you can google it. It costs money.

 

[Forever]

While you were sounding like an INFJ in the beginning, I think you're an INFP with some sort of Fe fix haha. Sounds strange I know. But who knows, my answer isn't really final.

 

[Norrsken]

I see. It sounds like you have some social anxiety that I would guess is not type-related. It would take talking to figure that out. It is hard to know your own type, especially with confounding variables like active anxiety.

I suppose you can google it. It costs money.

That's exactly it. It is getting much better these days, of course. But thank you, I'll try to find it.

 

[Norrsken]

While you were sounding like an INFJ in the beginning, I think you're an INFP with some sort of Fe fix haha. Sounds strange I know. But who knows, my answer isn't really final.

An INFP with a Fe fix. Huh. That's the thing. I don't know which comes first for me, the Fi or the Fe. I can understand individuality, heck I must be one since everybody says I have got to be one of the most unique people they have ever met, but I am also into belonging somewhere or to someone(s). I've always been quite obsessed with love for this reason alone.

I will keep adding some things about me until someone can get a clearer picture of what the heck I'm supposed to be.

• I seldom feel like a normal person. I almost feel like I am in some sort of strange television show (The Truman Show,anyone?) and everybody around me acts normal with ease while I have to watch over myself to try and fit in.
• I love to read books. I'd say that books are my most favorite gifts to receive from others. I enjoy discovery theories and discussing them with like minded folks. I also enjoy self-help, fiction, psychology, and the lives of real people.
• I am punctual and hardly ever late for anything. I can't stand people who are always late and having to wait on those who cannot put their time into proper use.
• I read between the lines in everything I hear or read by somebody else. I jump to conclusions, and I have wrongly offended people over this, though I don't mean to.
• I have this strange fixation with having to check and re-check the same things over and over again. For example, I will come across a website that has a piece of information, and then I'll keep going back to the same website to read that same information over and over again, convinced that it would suddenly change or a new piece of information will sprout of thin air. I feel like I'll never be 100% satisfied with information around me.
• I guess you could say I have the soul of a sage rather than the heart of a child.
• I am all about the matters of the heart, romantic or otherwise.

I hope I'm not annoying anyone here. I am just so stuck on this, it is driving me nuts.

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

An INFP with a Fe fix. Huh. That's the thing. I don't know which comes first for me, the Fi or the Fe. I can understand individuality, heck I must be one since everybody says I have got to be one of the most unique people they have ever met, but I am also into belonging somewhere or to someone(s). I've always been quite obsessed with love for this reason alone.

I know! I never thought I used much Fi but now I am not so sure.

It's hard to know in myself. I definitely use Fe. I use it offensively, but defensively too. I am usually removed from my own internal state, so I think that is Fi. Yet, I can get all irritated when someone has a screwed up worldview. (maybe that is Fe, not Fi?)

How about you?

 

[Norrsken]

I know! I never thought I used much Fi but now I am not so sure.

It's hard to know in myself. I definitely use Fe. I use it offensively, but defensively too. I am usually removed from my own internal state, so I think that is Fi. Yet, I can get all irritated when someone has a screwed up worldview. (maybe that is Fe, not Fi?)

How about you?

I get especially angry with people who have screwed up worldviews too. Especially viewpoints that will actively harm others, so you are not alone in that regard. I love to imagine myself as the hero of the world, wanting to save other people who cannot help themselves, but if they don't listen to me and they screw themselves over, I get really frustrated. I want to scream I TOLD YOU SO but I don't, I just bury it and try to help them in some other way. Again, I have gotten in trouble over this before.

Fi people, enjoy asking other people how they feel about something ("What do you think about..."), while Fe people are more comfortable making declarative opinions ("I don't like it.", "I feel like...", etc.)

With that in mind, I think I use Fe more often. I am also very social and outgoing in the right circumstances, with the right people, that kind of thing. I think Fi folks will always be inside of their own heads even in the right circumstances. Do you live inside your own head most of the time?

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

I get especially angry with people who have screwed up worldviews too.

I guess you could call it getting angry for me, but it is more an incredulous outburst of frustration, than anger. That is quickly transcended by a 'shaking off the dust and moving on' resignation regarding that person and their worldview. Of course, the closer the person(s) are to me, the more cycles I will go through before moving on. But it usually ends up happening if they or I cannot reconcile those worldviews.

Especially viewpoints that will actively harm others, so you are not alone in that regard. I love to imagine myself as the hero of the world, wanting to save other people who cannot help themselves, but if they don't listen to me and they screw themselves over, I get really frustrated. I want to scream I TOLD YOU SO but I don't, I just bury it and try to help them in some other way. Again, I have gotten in trouble over this before.

This is not so much how I feel, but I understand.

For me it stops with incredulity about how they can be so stupid to not understand the subject in question. Or not believe my POV on the matter. I love being needed by others and I feel gratified when they let me help them, when I can help them. But I don't jive with the word 'hero' at all, in myself or others. Jesus is my hero, if need be.

I also never really feel compelled to think "I told you so" and I am not sure why. I just lack that animosity in my heart. My parents were generally supportive and loving people. They did have the "I told you so" mantra a bit, but I learned how bad that is to another person and I inherently avoid it.

Fi people, enjoy asking other people how they feel about something ("What do you think about..."), while Fe people are more comfortable making declarative opinions ("I don't like it.", "I feel like...", etc.)

No disrespect, but I don't think this bit is accurate.

With that in mind, I think I use Fe more often. I am also very social and outgoing in the right circumstances, with the right people, that kind of thing. I think Fi folks will always be inside of their own heads even in the right circumstances. Do you live inside your own head most of the time?

Anymore, I think I am Ni/Ti/Fi and when I am around others I pull our a well-polished Fe and a rusty Te.

 

[Smilephantomhive]

I know! I never thought I used much Fi but now I am not so sure.

It's hard to know in myself. I definitely use Fe. I use it offensively, but defensively too. I am usually removed from my own internal state, so I think that is Fi. Yet, I can get all irritated when someone has a screwed up worldview. (maybe that is Fe, not Fi?)

How about you?

The worldview things is probably Ni.

 

[Norrsken]

Okay, so I'm editing this out because I just took a cognitive function test and here is the result:

Your most pronounced cognitive function is:
Extroverted Feeling

Your mental life is highly concerned with cooperation, tact, diplomacy, and harmonious human relations. In your demeanor, you tend to be friendly and sympathetic to others, winning their trust through fellow-feeling and by expressing just the right reaction at the appropriate moment. You have a delicate understanding and sensibility when it comes to understanding the power of praise and criticism for human motivation, and you often take great care to ensure that yours is fair and appropriate and delivered in such a way as to motivate people to keep striving for future growth. As a person you are warm, well-organized, and prone to speaking to people in just such a way as to bring out the best in them. However, you may find it hard to acknowledge your own negative feelings and to call out abusive streaks in others. Your most likely Jungian type is ENFJ or ESFJ.

Extroverted Intuition: 53%
Introverted Intuition: 71%
Extroverted Sensation: 37%
Introverted Sensation: 45%
Extroverted Thinking: 37%
Introverted Thinking: 29%
Extroverted Feeling: 97%
Introverted Feeling: 50%


I don't know if I can accept ENFJ as my type. I get too tired when I socialize after I am with people, surely that should make me more introverted?

 

[Norrsken]

I have decided to bump up this thread with some new information. I took the Enneagram test and scored Type 2w1, and then I took the tritype quiz and scored sp/sx.

Sexual ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
Social |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Self Preservation ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%

I took the Socionics and here are my results.

So with all of this in mind, what do you think my MBTI could be? Thanks in advance!

 

[Smilephantomhive]

I have decided to bump up this thread with some new information. I took the Enneagram test and scored Type 2w1, and then I took the tritype quiz and scored sp/sx.

Sexual ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
Social |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Self Preservation ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%

I took the Socionics and here are my results.

So with all of this in mind, what do you think my MBTI could be? Thanks in advance!

IEI tends to correlate with INFJ, but I wouldn't rule out INFP because of the test. Especially since aren't always accurate. Maybe think about how you relate to the Niand Fe functions. I will warn you that socionics sometimes different definitions than mbti cognative functions.