Oh me, Oh my: Typing the BF & I?

[SumOfStarlight]

Hi, everyone. I (female XXXX, here) & my guy (male XXXX, not here) have settled on what seem to be our most likely types. But after a notable amount of time together, I'm beginning to wonder if one or both of our typings are off. Would be interested in an outside point-of-view on all of this...

ME:

• Value nonconformity & independent thought. Welcome variety and the unexpected.
• Absorb information, voraciously.
• Inquisitive.
• Open-minded.
• Uncoordinated. Struggle to pay attention to what I'm doing (physically). Knock things over, walk into things, etc.
• Phenomenally lazy. Not proud of that, but yeah.
• Need a lot of alone time.
• Internal "cross-cut shredder" (bf's words, not mine). But not in a judgmental way ...more like analytic critique. There can actually be something almost neutral about it.
• Tend to be quiet. However, when I do speak, I'm often sprawling, covering a lot of ground.
• Well-intentioned, but can inadvertently offend people if I'm not careful. Don't have much of a natural filter. ("Gentle spirit; Coarse delivery.")
• I notice tons of things about people. When I voice them, people can feel examined, so I'll often just keep these observations to myself.
• Get strong hunches that I have difficulty explaining to others.
• Sympathetic.
• Get upset when people treat each other like crap.
• Prone to "do-gooder" fantasies.
• Despite what I just said, I'm not especially in-tune with my feelings. I only notice them when they're slamming me in the face.

HIM:

• Goal-oriented. Planner. If you offer an insight, he'll immediately want to know what it means in terms of action.
• Continually scanning for problems to solve. Happiest when he's productive or making a worthwhile contribution.
• Determined, to the point of fixation. Will not give up without a struggle.
• Joker (lots of double-entendres, wit, and wordplay).
• Always pointing at stuff he finds interesting, and saying "Look at that!" ("Look at that tree! Look at that building! Look at the sky!") Frequently distracted by things in the environment.
• Judgmental, with high moral standards. All about integrity & justice.
• Perfectionist.
• Anxious tendencies.
• Will research for ages before making a decision.
• Alert to what doesn't make logical sense.
• Has been described by multiple people as "professorial".
• Drawn to various sorts of physical/sensual exploration: dance, music, food, sex, wine, nature, travel, etc.
• Sees himself as sensitive, but that's not really the outward impression he makes. Can come across as tough/stern/challenging, especially if he doesn't trust a person (ex: salesmen).
• Recognizes symbolism easily, almost to the point of over-interpretation.
• Interested in emotions. But not interested in most people.
• Idealizes simplicity & authenticity.

Not sure if this is sufficient. I saw a thread with questionnaires, and I can fill one out, if needed; just let me know. And thanks for your time.

 

[Arctic Hysteria]

INTP you and ISFP him?

Just a wild guess by making comparisons to some folks I know with the same traits.

 

[SumOfStarlight]

INTP you and ISFP him?

Wow, I had never even considered this one! I made this thread because he & I have had some difficulty with communication.

He works in engineering, and I wonder if the demands of the career ended up 'blurring' his natural tendencies. He doesn't seem to take much pleasure in theoretical discussion in his daily life ...it appears to be restricted to his job. He thinks insight is worthless unless it's accompanied by a plan to act. He doesn't seem to relate much to my desire to understand things out of sheer interest.

Left to his own devices, he mostly talks about his plans to accomplish his goals, what he's currently experiencing & his opinion about it, or what he finds morally reprehensible.

He can also be kinda ...squishy. Like playful & cuddly. But someone who doesn't know him well won't realize he's like that. The other day, he made-up a dance and performed it for me. It was adorable.

Thanks for your reply, Arctic Hysteria. I'm going to consider it further...

(And should I mention now that he tests as INFJ / INTJ? I'm beginning to find both of these unlikely.)

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

E ST J/P , and I N/S FJ ?

 

[SumOfStarlight]

Thanks for the reply, ExNinja!

E ST J/P , and I N/S FJ ?

I find it hard to believe I could be any 'J' type, unless my external judging function has atrophied from perpetual neglect. (Which I'm not ruling out, by the way.)

However, the bf could very well be an ESTJ. Hmm...

 

[Arctic Hysteria]

I have an ISFP friend who sounds just like your boyfriend.
At work (we knew each other through work), he's a cool minded problem solver, alert, organised, professional, persuasive, full on while on duty (solving problems, assisting people, communicating) or full off when he's on his break (sitting by himself to enjoy his meal, keeping unnecessary interaction to minimum).
He is very quick with deciding whether he likes / dislikes somebody, and his likes and dislikes are very clear. He keeps things to himself and is very private. However, with a few people he enjoys being around, he's a chatterbox and very accommodating towards.
Weighing different options to make the best decision was his thing and the process always takes a long time.
Dude is a perfectionist and very tidy.
He lives to satisfy his senses - loves food and cooking, cocktails, good beer, good wine, sex, travelling, fast motorcycles and summer weather.
Abstract, philosophical, theoretical discussions don't hold much of his interest. He's really good with numbers and anything else that is closely related to the practical world.

Most people who just get to interact with him would think he's a Thinker. But it takes a lot for him to reveal to people that he's a Feeler.
But of course an SF will follow their heart in a much more "logical" sense than an NF, which could make them seem like a T.

My friend got together for a while with an xNFP and she was "too emotional" for him.

 

[Raspberry_rain]

Thanks for the reply, ExNinja!



I find it hard to believe I could be any 'J' type, unless my external judging function has atrophied from perpetual neglect. (Which I'm not ruling out, by the way.)

However, the bf could very well be an ESTJ. Hmm...

Definitely think he's an ESTJ, I think you're an INTJ or INTP. I lean more toward INTJ, you strike me as an Ni dom. Don't be confused by stereotypes. A J (especially an NJ) can be veryyyyy much like what you've described, in fact J/p is what seems to trip up most people I work with on type. It helps to look at the other functions. Ex. an INTJ is Ni dom while INTP is Ti dom. You seem more Ni dom and for the record I know an INTJ who has all the P like qualities you've mentioned.

 

[SumOfStarlight]

I have an ISFP friend who sounds just like your boyfriend.
At work (we knew each other through work), he's a cool minded problem solver, alert, organised, professional, persuasive, full on while on duty (solving problems, assisting people, communicating) or full off when he's on his break (sitting by himself to enjoy his meal, keeping unnecessary interaction to minimum).
He is very quick with deciding whether he likes / dislikes somebody, and his likes and dislikes are very clear. He keeps things to himself and is very private. However, with a few people he enjoys being around, he's a chatterbox and very accommodating towards.
Weighing different options to make the best decision was his thing and the process always takes a long time.
Dude is a perfectionist and very tidy.
He lives to satisfy his senses - loves food and cooking, cocktails, good beer, good wine, sex, travelling, fast motorcycles and summer weather.
Abstract, philosophical, theoretical discussions don't hold much of his interest. He's really good with numbers and anything else that is closely related to the practical world.

Most people who just get to interact with him would think he's a Thinker. But it takes a lot for him to reveal to people that he's a Feeler.
But of course an SF will follow their heart in a much more "logical" sense than an NF, which could make them seem like a T.

My friend got together for a while with an xNFP and she was "too emotional" for him.

I'm certain that his primary function is a judging function, but he seems to use comparable amounts of Fi & Te. His perception functions, however, are like one of thoses images that shift from a vase to two faces and back again, depending on the way it's viewed.

Although he does, at times, offer intuition, he's also remarked that he can feel himself reaching to access these things. He tests as an INxJ, yet when he read a description of Introverted Intuition, he said "I don't do that enough."

You could be right about him being an ISFP. There's some inner vs. outer schism that's muddling things.

I honestly think his truest desire—ideals aside—is to be stroked and petted and snuggled all day long, with occasional breaks to run around outside and look at things. When I told him he's like a restless puppy who loves to be taken for walks, he said "That's an incredibly apt analogy."

Also of Note: He comes from an unambiguously xSxJ family, and they view him as the flexible/free-wheeling one. Yet, I would never ever (ever) use these words to describe him. (Ever!)

Definitely think he's an ESTJ, I think you're an INTJ or INTP. I lean more toward INTJ, you strike me as an Ni dom. Don't be confused by stereotypes. A J (especially an NJ) can be veryyyyy much like what you've described, in fact J/p is what seems to trip up most people I work with on type. It helps to look at the other functions. Ex. an INTJ is Ni dom while INTP is Ti dom. You seem more Ni dom and for the record I know an INTJ who has all the P like qualities you've mentioned.

Now I'm wagering that he's a sensing type with tertiary intuition. I think development of the judging function that's in (supposedly) last place is due to factors related to his upbringing and/or environment. And I realize there's something blasphemous about being undecided between ESTJ and ISFP, but intimate knowledge of someone can reveal certain contradictions that extend beyond the boundaries of a theory.

[MENTION=24888]Raspberry_rain[/MENTION], what strikes you as especially Ni-dom?

 

[violet_crown]

Hi, everyone. I (female XXXX, here) & my guy (male XXXX, not here) have settled on what seem to be our most likely types. But after a notable amount of time together, I'm beginning to wonder if one or both of our typings are off. Would be interested in an outside point-of-view on all of this...

How do you two type yourselves?

 

[1487610420]

you are XXXX he is XXXX.

 

[SumOfStarlight]

How do you two type yourselves?

He tests as either INFJ or INTJ. When he took the INFJ/INTJ test on CelebrityTypes, he just barely scored as an INFJ.

He ultimately settled on INTJ because the Te/Fi is blatant, but he doesn't relate to most of the INTJ descriptions. However, he identified with everything in this description on the myers-briggs site:

"INTJ

Have original minds and great drive for implementing their ideas and achieving their goals. Quickly see patterns in external events and develop long-range explanatory perspectives. When committed, organize a job and carry it through. Skeptical and independent, have high standards of competence and performance - for themselves and others."

My results vary, from test to test. But I'm going with INTP unless I realize I'm mistaken. That said, I know several INTPs, and I see differences in our approach.

 

[SumOfStarlight]

you are XXXX he is XXXX.

If we really were, there'd be far less of a need for translation.

Maybe he's yYyY and I'm WwWw. A complementary nature can be charming.

 

[Forever]

You're INTP and he is ISFP. It actually sounds pretty close, your first typer is good.

 

[SumOfStarlight]

You're INTP and he is ISFP. It actually sounds pretty close, your first typer is good.

Thanks for your reply, [MENTION=19719]Forever[/MENTION]. A question for you...

Do you believe it's possible for a myers-briggs INTP to be anything other than a Ti-dom in socionics?

According to socionics, I'm an Irrational type & my bf is a Rational type. Each of us, prototypically so. What I mean by this is that there's no conceivable way that I could be an LII.

I see that you're an IEI. What would you consider to be the most significant marker of Introverted Intuition?