Maybe I'm ESFJ maybe I'm Maybeline but I'm certainly quirky!

[matleif]

First of all, Hi!
Been doing these MBTI tests and been getting ESFJ. But I'm not really sure about that. Some things match and I'l get to that soon but first of all even if I feel I'm social now. I wasn't some years ago. I was or at least I acted introverted. Now this might had only been because I have tendency to social anxiety which really doesn't sound like something a ESFJ guy has. But maybe it doesn't exclude that personality type. The thing is I always wanted to be really social but I was afraid of. I ended up mostly just gaming my childhood and even high school. I think I was just too afraid to go out. I remember I was depressed about it a lot and I wanted to be social. It was my biggest dream for sure.

But until some years ago with a lot of self-improvement I feel I'm actually quite social now. I have made most of my friends in about the last seven years and I made those in a helluva speed in one point after I got over my fears (mostly over, not completely) Before I didn't speak much and might even stutter time to time. Now I'm out every weekend with friends and really enjoying my time. First I met few people and then I met friends of these friends and then friends of friends of friends So now I have enough friends and acquaintances to go out to do whatever when I feel like it

What I feel is that I actually always was ESFJ but I was inflicted by social anxiety disorder which prohibited me to be my real myself. I have had a lot of compliments how much I have changed over the decade. I still have reservations and spikes of anxiety time to time. But it's so much better now.

Now about the ESFJ. I'm not sure if it really actually represents me but here are some points that I think might describe me more or less:

* From assurance/compliments I get a lot of mental boost get all giddy and energetic.
* I like stories, epic and dramatic stories. Everything with a little pow!
* To be part of something is very important for me. Like group of really close friends is of most importance for me.
* I tend to plan everything ahead. I don't like taking risk on anything.
* I'm really open. I can talk about anything and I will talk about everything But I never talk about things of other people if I feel it's not appropriate. And this is super important for me. Because nothing feels worse then saying something that I should not have said so I'm careful enough on that. But otherwise besides that I will talk about myself like I was writing private blog of my life.
* Really important that my friends don't get bored or that I don't do something that they don't like.
* I'm afraid of conflicts and I don't want to argue. I always feel bad after an argument.
* I spent a lot of time thinking how I can better myself on anything.
* But I'm usually quite lazy to go for it but not lazy enough for not having finished my education on computer programming.
* I like my life kind of simple. I don't like to do that much stuff spontaneously. I like to schedule things. But I have enjoyed spontaneous events though.
* I like traveling. Mostly to see the culture, not beaches. I have hard time staying still while traveling. I want to experience stuff but I would never go bungee jumping or anything that dreadful Like I said I tend to calculate risk and I avoid it, a lot. Though it might not me risky but it does scare me enough
* I like to analyze stuff and happenings in life.
* I reflect a lot on the past.
* I end up following feelings more then logic except if I feel there is risk involved.
* My humor is mostly dark, maybe if I'm on good roll even witty but also sometimes over the top when I get really excited and it's "goofy time" which isn't rare if there is beer around.
* But sometimes though rare I have said something meant as joke but it offended people. Wasn't intended to offend. But I tend to carry away when it comes to joking and goofing.

I'm in my early 30s and male. Thank you and if you need more details then just ask

 

[HongDou]

ESFJ 6w7 so/sx? That's the impression I got. Maybe the 629 "Good Samaritan" tritype.

You sound like a fun person and a great friend!

 

[matleif]

Aww, thank you and thank you for the reply

EDIT: I have to research / google that "6w7 so/sx" part But initially seems like it's from another type of personality test that I need to checkout

 

[HongDou]

Here's are some descriptions of an so/sx 6, lemme know if it rings true for you.

Social/Sexual

This type can be very different from the other social type, because with this type, security comes from making alliances with individuals. Their weakness comes from their self-pres instinct being last, so they are not as independent as the self-pres/soc. They rely on key people in their lives when doubt sets in. Their security comes from maintaining close bonds. They fear rejection much more then the soc/self-pres. This softens the strong stances seen in the soc/self-pres, because the soc/sex doesn’t find its security in organizations and government. They go through life looking for the people they think will be able to direct them. On the down side, they can make individuals into their authority figures and rely too much on them. They are a lighter Six. They go with the flow more than the other subtypes. They are likely to use humor to charm people, but on the down side may whine and complain about their circumstances to garner support. When healthier, their charm, enthusiasm and curiosity are infectious. They are very loyal friends, although that can be said more or less about all reasonably healthy Sixes. But with the self-pres/soc and the soc/sex nothing much more then your support is required, for maintaining their friendship.

Social Six: Duty
To a Social Six, fulfilling what she sees as her social role dutifully is the only way to be. She attempts to resolve her social insecurity by giving authority to a belief, a group, or a leader whom she considers more powerful, and becoming faithful, deferential, accommodating, malleable, and obedient to it or him. She is loyal, devoted, even fawning and obsequious in the carrying out of her mission on behalf of the authority, whatever she considers that to be. Her passion of fear appears here as being afraid of crossing her authority figure and being afraid of breaking social norms and obligations.

If not, you might relate to 6 sp/so:

Self-pres/social

This subtype of Six is generally warm and friendly. The self-pres combines with the social instinct in such a way that the Six looks to find security in alliances. This type is the least counterphobic of the instinctual stackings of type Six. It’s not so much that they can’t be counterphobic; it’s just not where they locate their security. They would rather feel comforted by the safety of like-minded individuals. Family and traditions are often very important to them. They can appear like enneatype One in their ability to get things done, their organizational style, their sense of duty, and their loyalty. This type is usually very independent and proactive when it comes to the details of life. They get things done before they become a problem. On the down side, they can become frozen with anxiety. This stacking is the most visibly anxious Six. They can exhaust themselves from worrying.

In relationships, when healthy, they are very loyal and trustworthy. The self-pres in the Six brings a focus on security. Security to the self-pres/social Six is generated by connections with other individuals or groups. These alliances with others foster a “going towards.” This stance usually involves a testing of others to make sure that they are safe. Does the other person have the best interests of the Six at heart? They question other’s intentions. It’s not generally an overt confrontational testing, but still, testing others is always an essential element in determining who becomes a trusted friend or romantic partner.

Self-preservation Six: Warmth
Warmth describes the style of Self-preservation Sixes. They are warm, friendly, and affable, making themselves likable to others as a way of ensuring their survival. The term Ichazo used for this subtype is affection, indicating that this is what they see as key to preserving themselves. Perceiving others as a threat to their survival, Self-preservation Sixes use their geniality to befriend and align themselves with others to offset the possibility of others turning against them. The passion of fear manifests here in this apprehensiveness around their self-protection.

Here's some info on 6 in general. If you find yourself not relating to 6w7, you could look at 2w3 as an alternative.

 

[Evee]

I really like ESFJs.

 

[Chrysanthe]

Definitely Alpha.

 

[Hitoshi-San]

You seem like a cool guy, if I do say so myself. Hi!

 

[Lunar Light]

First of all, Hi!
Been doing these MBTI tests and been getting ESFJ. But I'm not really sure about that. Some things match and I'l get to that soon but first of all even if I feel I'm social now. I wasn't some years ago. I was or at least I acted introverted.

Hi there! I think most people go through phases so this isn't strange. Also, social introversion =/= cognitive introversion. Even in MBTI, the theory actually suggests that what you're attracted to, gives you energy (external stimuli vs internal...reflection? processing?) is what deems you an introvert or extrovert. The commonly accepted idea is that type does not change over time, so you could look at your childhood and determine which that may be. For me, I liked interacting with others, but I was actually much more focused on the world itself. I was fascinated by things and spent a lot of time exploring, but never really processing them. I was very receptive to the world, not really imposing my own subjective preferences upon it.

When taking account cognitive functions, you could say that it's possible that depending on what function you are developing, you may mirror the attitude of that. For example, as an ENFP I lead with Ne (extroverted intuition), which is a perception function focused on observing things in the present and making connections with them. However, I have since developed Fi (introverted feeling), which is a judging function focused on determining personal, ethical values from an individual standpoint. During that time, I was much more focused on figuring out what was "right" for me and introspecting, meaning I wasn't as in tune with other people or what was happening around me.

Now this might had only been because I have tendency to social anxiety which really doesn't sound like something a ESFJ guy has. But maybe it doesn't exclude that personality type.

Nah, this is definitely possible. I don't blame you for thinking that though because ExFJ types tend to be known for being smooth in social interaction.

The thing is I always wanted to be really social but I was afraid of. I ended up mostly just gaming my childhood and even high school. I think I was just too afraid to go out. I remember I was depressed about it a lot and I wanted to be social. It was my biggest dream for sure.

It actually makes sense when taking this into account, because if it's something that means a lot to you, you will tend to be hyper-aware of it and become anxious over it. Enneagram, another personality theory that Chanaynay introduced (6w7 so/sx) goes into this with the instincts, which is the "so/sx" bit.

But until some years ago with a lot of self-improvement I feel I'm actually quite social now. I have made most of my friends in about the last seven years and I made those in a helluva speed in one point after I got over my fears (mostly over, not completely) Before I didn't speak much and might even stutter time to time. Now I'm out every weekend with friends and really enjoying my time. First I met few people and then I met friends of these friends and then friends of friends of friends So now I have enough friends and acquaintances to go out to do whatever when I feel like it

Yay!

What I feel is that I actually always was ESFJ but I was inflicted by social anxiety disorder which prohibited me to be my real myself. I have had a lot of compliments how much I have changed over the decade. I still have reservations and spikes of anxiety time to time. But it's so much better now.

Yeah I understand this. I think anxiety and other trauma prevented me from acting more like my natural self when I was growing up.

Now about the ESFJ. I'm not sure if it really actually represents me but here are some points that I think might describe me more or less:

* From assurance/compliments I get a lot of mental boost get all giddy and energetic.

Sounds like types 6 + 2 in enneagram.

* I like stories, epic and dramatic stories. Everything with a little pow!

Not necessarily indicative of anything, but maybe sx (sexual) instinct.

* To be part of something is very important for me. Like group of really close friends is of most importance for me.

General vibes you've been giving me combined with this statement makes me agree with 6w7 so/sx.

* I tend to plan everything ahead. I don't like taking risk on anything.

Possibly type 6.

* I'm really open. I can talk about anything and I will talk about everything But I never talk about things of other people if I feel it's not appropriate. And this is super important for me. Because nothing feels worse then saying something that I should not have said so I'm careful enough on that. But otherwise besides that I will talk about myself like I was writing private blog of my life.

This sounds a looot like me. Definitely very soc (social) instinct centric, with 6 and 2 themes. I'm 6w7 core with so/sx for instincts, 2w3 and 1w2 for other fixes.

* Really important that my friends don't get bored or that I don't do something that they don't like.

More 6 and 2 themes, with a general splash of what seems to be Fe (which correlates to ExFJ).

* I'm afraid of conflicts and I don't want to argue. I always feel bad after an argument.

Again affirms the above, with a 9 fix becoming more clear.

* I spent a lot of time thinking how I can better myself on anything.

Yay!!! Not indicative of type

* But I'm usually quite lazy to go for it but not lazy enough for not having finished my education on computer programming.

^_^

* I like my life kind of simple. I don't like to do that much stuff spontaneously. I like to schedule things. But I have enjoyed spontaneous events though.

Sounds like Ne, third function of ESFJ, may be coming into play for you if you do enjoy spontaneity at times.

* I like traveling. Mostly to see the culture, not beaches. I have hard time staying still while traveling. I want to experience stuff but I would never go bungee jumping or anything that dreadful Like I said I tend to calculate risk and I avoid it, a lot. Though it might not me risky but it does scare me enough

Hmm, could be Si (second function of ESFJ). Meaning, you don't want to do things too outside your comfort zone, based on your foundation of experiences.

* I like to analyze stuff and happenings in life.
* I reflect a lot on the past.

Not necessarily related to type.

* I end up following feelings more then logic except if I feel there is risk involved.

^_^. Side note: technically might not be logic, but following feelings is still rational, since you follow a system that makes sense to you.

* My humor is mostly dark, maybe if I'm on good roll even witty but also sometimes over the top when I get really excited and it's "goofy time" which isn't rare if there is beer around.

Yay goofy time!

I'm in my early 30s and male. Thank you and if you need more details then just ask

I think you're right with ESFJ and I would agree with Chanaynay on 629 as an enneagram tritype for you. Specifically 6w7, 2 (not sure of wing, but gut says 3 wing), 9w1. So/sx for instincts.

 

[matleif]

Thank you all for the replies. And I'm grateful to see such effort on the answers I'm amazed how well I was analyzed just from my opening text Quite impressive.

Read and did some tests. Yeah most probably at least Enneagram 6 and I do recognize features also from the other suggestions. 2 for my social desires, 1 and 3 for me wanting to overcome my life long problems (anxiety/social problems related at least), 9 conflict avoidance and finding / keeping inner peace over anxiety.

Again, thanks for the quick & so thorough answers!

 

[Lunar Light]

Thank you all for the replies. And I'm grateful to see such effort on the answers I'm amazed how well I was analyzed just from my opening text Quite impressive.

When you get into the system, there's a lot you can tell from very little. It can be surprising because I think we're accustomed to the idea that understanding people come with time. And of course, it does, but there's still a lot you can tell with a thin slice of things vs a thick slice.

Read and did some tests. Yeah most probably at least Enneagram 6 and I do recognize features also from the other suggestions. 2 for my social desires, 1 and 3 for me wanting to overcome my life long problems (anxiety/social problems related at least), 9 conflict avoidance and finding / keeping inner peace over anxiety.

^_^ I can relate to a lot of that, though 9 was something that took a long time for me to learn. I'm strongly 1 .

Again, thanks for the quick & so thorough answers!

Personally it's been a pleasure reading what you've had to say. You seem like a great person!