Help? Need an objective opinion

[WorldParticles]

I have been struggling to figure out my type... I feel like I stopped being me for a while (depression) and now I'm just utterly confused as to what is actually me and what is product of external pressure.


1) What aspect of your personality made you unsure of your type?
Uh... I guess I feel like nothing really fits me. As in, I am highly sensitive but I am also a thinker. ENTP seems like a good choice until you get to the part where they can be insensitive without meaning to (I can be insensitive ocassionally, but I know exactly what I'm doing). My personality feels like two strings pulling me in completely opposite directions. I consider myself to be both highly sensitive and a sensation seeker (which I repressed). Anyway, all I know is that the function I completely do not use is Si. I think I use Ne a lot. My test scores say I use Fe alot but I'm not sure...

2) What do you yearn for in life? Why?
Uh.. happiness? Depression can take it's toll. I just want to be happy, make others happy, and leave the best possible mark on the world (however slight that is). When I was younger I guess I'd say I yearned to be the best-to solve problems that have an impact on people (whether that be global warming or getting rid of stupid conventions that are harmful) and receive recognition for it (I loved to brag-this is something I consciously realized around 11 and have since toned down). Tangent: I was a very nice kid, full of smiles, intelligent, and was told often that everyone liked me. I want to be like that kid again! Sigh.

3) Think about a time where you felt like you were at your finest. Tell us what made you feel that way.
I suuccckkk at recalling memories. Seriously, never ask me to tell a story. I can never remember anything like that! Umm I guess I feel at my finest when I feel like people notice me and I am like: "yes, I'm just this awesome". Man, that sounds conceited. But it's the truth; I like feeling like I have power over people. Honestly I am a little scared about that quality of mine. How will I ever form healthy relationships?
I also feel good when the fact that taking things slowly proves incredibly useful, but that is just because the rest of my family are all impatient people. It's always gogogo and what's taking you so long? with them. So when I can show that not taking time actually makes things worse I enjoy pointing it out, so as for them to one day realize that I can be slow and that's okay. Gosh, they are awesome, but the fact that they are/were always hurrying me up is something I will always hold against them.
I also feel great when I am able to understand someone's underlying meaning. For example, if my mom asks my dad "how big is the microwave you plan to buy?" and I know she means how big of a plate it will fit on the inside, but my dad supposes she wants to know the actual size because he is thinking of if it will fit on the shelve, or vice-versa. There are also times when I get someone's meaning yet I still ask "stupid" questions as if I didn't, or as in the situation above, I may answer both how big it is on the inside and how big it is in general. I don't know why I do that.

4) What makes you feel inferior?
When people barely know me and they make all these assumptions about me (it's natural and fine that they do that, but I can often come off as needy or unintelligent or stuff like that to those who are close-minded) I enjoy proving them wrong later, though. Okay, I'll admit, I get more irritated at them than at myself at that point.
What makes me feel really inferior is when I do feel less intelligent than someone else. Especially if I just embarrased myself by saying something stupid/something that they took the wrong way because it is so easy to misinterpret my actual thoughts behind what my mouth spout out.

5) What tends to weigh on your decisions? (Do you think about people, pro-cons, how you feel about it, etc.)
Everything. I don't understand this separation between 'thinking' and 'feeling'. While weighing the pro-cons, I think it's important to weigh both the facts and how people (including myself) feel about it. No use in making a detailed plan no one can follow up with. And sometimes how other people feel is just the best thing to go on despite every 'rational' fiber in me screaming "they are wrong". And sometimes you just have to do things, regardless of anyone's feelings.

6) When working on a project what is normally your emphasis? Do you like to have control of the outcome?
Well, that depends. Sometimes I just like to just, you know, do it. Often I will research extensively until my brain gets tired and tells me to just do it, things can go wrong no matter which advice you follow. For school projects I often make a list and guesstimate the time it will take me to do it (being very generous), and then I generally put it off until that time starts. So say if I calculate two days to complete something, I would probably make a list and separate the tasks I need to get it done into a week. I might start a bit and slowly work on it now and then (not actually following schedule because schedules are evil), until two days before it's due, when I start actually focusing because now I know that it actually does need to get done. I like thinking of myself as an organized scatterbrained worker. I always get things done. I usually know exactly where I am and what needs to get done (unless I am putting that part off because my brain doesn't want to get stressed about it yet), but my system is a ball of strings.

7) Describe a time where you had a lot of fun. How is your memory of it?
Memories again. Sigh. I don't know... I like dancing? It can be lots of fun. Almost anything can be lots of fun, really. Day-to-day play and laughter is a lot of fun. Very nostalgic.

8) When you want to learn something new, what feels more natural for you?
Research, I guess. Although I do like trying it and seeing how it goes, because often times research yields a bunch of steps that are useless to me, so if I just try it first, I can discard those steps. And at the same time, research often yields brilliant ideas that I should apply. Yes, I really like to research stuff to make sure I do it correctly, but I like trying it out first to see what feels most comfortable, and to know exactly what I should be researching. I don't know about this... I need an objective view on this because my memory sucks and I would say it completely depends on what I am learning and what I am learning it for. I like research but at the same time I know it's value decreases if I don't have a concrete idea of what I am in the vague about, if that makes any sense.

9) How organized do you think of yourself as?
I think I already answered this above. I am organized (and I really am good at editing papers and the like-as long as they are not mine because of self-esteem issues) but to the outsider I can appear as unorganized. I do have a note from a childhood classmate that says that the class would not be as organized without me there (I was moving away). And yet, my mom would call me unorganized (I am somewhat of a hoarder because everything is useful and sure enough whenever I (or my mom) am/is finally like "just get rid of these things that have been sitting here for years", the next month, low and behold, I have a project in which those things would be incredibly useful/necessary). I also like reusing things to take care of the planet. No need to go buy cardboard when I got stuf from amazon and the like.

10) How do you judge new ideas? You try to understand the principles behind it to see if they make sense or do you look for information that supports it?
I think I intially (often subconciously) try to understand the principles behind it to see if they make sense. If they do to a ceratin extent and it is not something important, I might leave it there unless/until someone contradicts it with information-then the process starts over. Otherwise, I look for information that supports it/contradicts it and see if this information makes sense.

11) You find harmony by making sure everyone is doing fine and belonging to a given group or by making sure that you follow what you believe and being yourself?
Well, I don't feel the need to conform to a given culture (I think this has a lot to do with how I was raised between cultures). If social conventions are stupid/harmful I feel no need to follow them and will vocalize my reasonings. At the same time if I can do anything to make sure everyone is fine, I will.

12) Are you the kind that thinks before speaking or do you speak before thinking? Do you prefer one-on-one communication or group discussions?
One-on-one, usually because nobody ever listens to me in group discussions, for some reason. I think before speaking, but I think that that may be in part due to my socialization because speaking before thinking also comes naturally for me and I have supressed that because I have been told to.

13) Do you jump into action right away or do you like to know where are you jumping before leaping? Does action speaks more than words?
I like to know where I am jumping. I never understood the dichotomy between words and action to be honest. Speaking/writing is an action. Words speak and action does too.

14) It's Saturday. You're at home, and your favorite show is about to start. Your friends call you for a night out. What will you do?
Night out, unless I am feeling a particular way or these "friends" aren't really friends. I can always watch the show later.

15) How do you act when you're stressed out?
Withdraw. Avoid negative stimuli at all costs. Make lous noises. Listen to music. Make lists.

16) What makes you dislike the personalities of some people?
Those people who are oblivious to one's dispoosition and needs. Then again, that is most people, and I often wonder if I am just way too harsh on them and if I am not the same, since we are all different.

17) Is there anything you really like talking about with other people?
Ideas. Possibilities. Why things work the way they do.

18) What kind of things do you pay the least attention to in your life?
Idk, cause I am not paying attention to it. As I said before, the Si function is pretty undeveloped in me.

19) How do your friends perceive you? What is wrong about their perception? ? What would your friends never say about your personality ?
They perceive me as intelligent. Although that is not really a personality trait, that has been a pretty consistent descriptor in my life. That may just be because of the population sample I was around though, and the fact that I like showing off. Apart from that, I think I'd be described as kind. As a high-achiever too. Perhaps as strongwilled. I don't know what they'd never say about my personality.

20) You got a whole day to do whatever you like. What kind of activities do you feel like doing?

Improving, improving, improving. Reading, dancing, baking, going to an amusement park or checking out a new store, drawing, figuring stuff out, experiencing things worth being experienced (movies, etc).



If you got through all that, I cannot thank you enough. Please, please, tell me if you think my perceptions about myself may be wrong, because I really do want to know myself. I have tested as an INTJ, an INFJ, INTP and ENTP. I feel like my personality is not easily tested adequately, but that is probably just arrogance, so insights as to why this is all so confusing would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Frosty]

xxFJ, maybe INFJ

 

[WorldParticles]

Nah, I just typed myself on Sociotype.com: Socionics Applied and while it typed me as ENFP I read through it all and am 90% convinced I am an ENTP (an alpha).
I am 99% convinced that I am an xNxx, btw. My results placed me as a delta but alpha fits me more. INFJ (a delta) fits me to a certain extent yet at the same time it doesn't...

 

[Carpe Vinum]

It's funny, my first impression was INFJ and I didn't even see Frosty's response yet.

Here's what stood out to me:

Improving, improving, improving. Reading, dancing, baking, going to an amusement park or checking out a new store, drawing, figuring stuff out, experiencing things worth being experienced (movies, etc).

I see a combination of Ni and Se in these interests. Your Se pulls you towards sensory experiences like dancing, but you want those experiences to have internal value and be personally enriching (Ni). Most of the ENTPs that I know were more interested in just developing their minds as teenagers. You seem more about self-improvement in general: body, mind, spirit, all of it. That falls in line more with the INFJs I've known.

Also, except for drawing, I don't really see Ne in these hobbies at all. What do you draw?

Withdraw. Avoid negative stimuli at all costs. Make lous noises. Listen to music. Make lists.

This is exactly how all of the INFJs that I know deal with stress. An ENTP would be, I think, more likely to confront the problem or laugh away the stress.

They perceive me as intelligent [...] I think I'd be described as kind. As a high-achiever too. Perhaps as strongwilled.

Any type can be described as intelligent. But kind, high-achieving, and strong willed? That doesn't sound like an ENTP combo. I mean, I've know some kind ENTPs, but I wouldn't say that kindness is a stand out trait for them. More like, they were capable of being kind. And I guess any type can be high-achieving and strong willed, too, but your combination of traits sound more J-ish.

I have tested as an INTJ, an INFJ, INTP and ENTP.

My results placed me as a delta but alpha fits me more

Yeah, I'd have to go with INFJ, but obviously you know yourself better than we can. What I'd like to know is, what makes YOU think you're an ENTP? Why does alpha fit you more?

 

[21%]

I thought INFJ too before I saw other people's posts! It might be the way you write.

 

[WorldParticles]

Well, I like drawing people's faces. Graceful animals too. Symbols and beautiful colour combinations.
The cognitive function tests I have taken place Ne as my highest scoring function, but of course that may just be that I am attracted to the idea of Ne (descriptions of Ne sound like me as well.)
I have this tendency to change opinions like this... I think part of why I have such a hard time placing myself is that my ability to remember examples of situations I have been in is spotty. And of course theoretical situations don't really count as I can be dishonest with myself, without even realizing it.
The thing about delta is that overall the description is pretty good, but then we get to things like:

"Delta types like to talk about new beginnings, opportunities for personal growth, and their plans and prospects for the future."

I hate hate hate to talk about 'prospects for the future', at the very least my own. I only like talking about the future in a theoretical way (what if I won the lottery? what if there was a zombie apocalypse?). Any other type of 'planning' doesn't a)seem fun to me and b)make much sense, as the future is so full of variables.
As for INFj, thing like the following don't really click:

• They themselves consistently forget to consider whether their activities are actually achieving their intended goal, whether their time spent is bringing worthy proceeds, and whether their activities are organized in the most rational way.

  Of course, I may just have learnt to make sure I am achieving my intended goal. Now that I think of it, there are times that I don't really care, as long as I am learning or having fun doing whatever I'm doing. And well there is this:
  

  EIIs have a great admiration for people who are able to get things done neatly and efficiently in the outside world

• EIIs are typically negligent of their surroundings and have difficulty keeping track of objects or constantly monitoring things and people around them.

  I don't really think I find it difficult to keep track of objects. In fact, I like to think I notice things others don't. Then again, I know I am completely hopeless at taking in directions unless I pay attention. I am the person who got lost walking to school (about 10 minutes away) on her own after months of being walked there by others.

So, in the end, I think you might be right, and that I am just attracted to ENTPs. At the same time, I sometimes feel like I am just wishing I were 'better' and did stuff like this>

When those people that the EII is close to suffer emotionally, the EII will do everything in her power to raise the emotional condition in the individual, often at the EII's expense.
EIIs are very capable of "sizing people up".

when really I just shut it out more often than I try to do something. Which would make me not an INFj. Another thing I hear often about INFJs is that they tend to forget about themselves, and as it may be obvious from my text above, I definitely don't think this is true of me. I will put myself aside if someone else's need is greater, otherwise I may stand up for/think of myself (depending on the situation-I am not going to burn bridges for myself because this will come back to bite me later anyway). I also get slightly annoyed at people who can't accept a gift, or who can't accept when things go the way that would be good for them (for example, if we are deciding where to go eat and they say they want chinese, I say I don't really feel like it, but sure, let's grab Chinese, and they are unwilling to do that and instead relentlessly argue for the option 'I'd prefer'). If I am the one getting my way, I make sure and ask if it is okay with everyone and then evaluate how important it is to them vs. how important it is to me. I often just accept getting my way- sometimes out of selfishness and sometimes because people feel the need to give, so I let them. This selfishness sounds very un INFJish.

 

[WorldParticles]

Interesting! Since so many of you agree, I take it you are right.

 

[21%]

It might help to keep in mind that MBTI and socionics define functions and types a bit differently. EII usually correlates to INFP in MBTI. I don't understand socionics that well as I find MBTI descriptions much easier to relate to.

 

[WorldParticles]

Oh, I thought that when it said EII-INFj it was just relating the socionic type to the MBTI, but really INFj and INFJ are different things then?
Socionics Types: EII-INFj

 

[Captain_Invincible]

Stop reading descriptions, and start relating to functional usages. Descriptions are rough guides, don't take them so literally. They get you nowhere.