Self-pres 6 vs. Social 4 - Which am I?

[TalkTypestoMe]

Helloooo, you crazy people! *Shakes all your hands* Now I'm going to pour out all my fears and insecurities, on this board, and reveal the depths of my soul. It's nice to meet you, too.

I'm stuck between these types because I'm impulsively self-destructive and they both sound to be that way.

I feel like I feel less hopeless than 4s though. I'm also aware of how to get out of my head and overcome difficulties.

I didn't think I could be a self-pres instinct because I often hurt myself (out of clumsiness) and break stuff, but then I wondered if subconsciously I do these things on purpose to take revenge on my mom for not supporting me (counterphobia). >.<

Any thought or questions?

 

[Southern Kross]

It's better to figure out you enneagram first before the instincts. It can confuse the issue to do both at once.

Lots of people think they're a 4 at first - it's a common trap. Personally, I think if there isn't a strong pull towards 4 then you're probably not one. Based on what you've said here, you sound like a 6. 4s aren't really impulsive or self-destructive unless they're Sx-doms, but even then not necessarily so.

Sps can be clumsy. I don't think this is type related. Self-pres doms want to take care of themselves but the way they do so can vary greatly depending on their core type. Sps want to look after and protect themselves physically, but for some that is not as important as non-physical threats (eg. invading their privacy, or interfering with their independence).

 

[TalkTypestoMe]

I read in Beatrice Chestnut's "The Complete Enneagram" that social 4s will hurt themselves constantly to get attention, although I think this applies more to so/sx 4s, and the social 6 description applies more to so/sp 6s. (Unwavering trust in authority, loyalty to a group, professionalism.) It's still a wonderful, well-written book that gave me a lot of insights into various characters!

I do have WAY more anxiety and doubt than 4s probably do, despite relating to some of their qualities (most people can, though.) So I guess I'm a 6, and I don't really relate to being sp at all in terms of a general instinct, I relate the most to being so/sx. I look to other individuals to give me support and reassurance. I guess complaining to gain support is why I felt like a 4. I also definitely use self-effacing humor to charm people.

 

[Southern Kross]

I read in Beatrice Chestnut's "The Complete Enneagram" that social 4s will hurt themselves constantly to get attention, although I think this applies more to so/sx 4s, and the social 6 description applies more to so/sp 6s. (Unwavering trust in authority, loyalty to a group, professionalism.) It's still a wonderful, well-written book that gave me a lot of insights into various characters!

I do have WAY more anxiety and doubt than 4s probably do, despite relating to some of their qualities (most people can, though.) So I guess I'm a 6, and I don't really relate to being sp at all in terms of a general instinct, I relate the most to being so/sx. I look to other individuals to give me support and reassurance. I guess complaining to gain support is why I felt like a 4. I also definitely use self-effacing humor to charm people.

Sp isn't necessarily what you think it is. I would say that general Sp descriptions can be the most lacking. It's more than just comfort and survival. A good example of a 6 Sp is Jennifer Lawrence (she's a Sp/So).

Here's a summary of 6 instincts to help you distinguish between them:

Style Six Subtypes*
Influencing to satisfy common needs

Self-Preservation (Warmth):

Devoted to friendship. Soft, friendly, like an animal showing its underbelly (“See how nice I am?”). To show they're harmless they have to bottle up a lot of anger, seek someone who can protect them. An ongoing quest for reassurance. Fear disappears in the company of friends, and a change in affection is very threatening. Without a reality check, they fall prey to their fears, not realizing they’re scaring themselves.

At best warm, charming, assures group camaraderie, champions subordinates at work, family at home
At worst seeks protection from authority figures, overly focused on being "nice" (often a happy face)

One-to-One/Sexual (Strength and Beauty):

Often counterphobic. A drive to make action unfold, as if fear were not there. A “push” forward as if saying, “You’re not going to hold me back!” Very powerful men and women, but a show of power that covers inner doubt. Intimidating like a bulldog but shy and sensitive underneath, and not very fulfilled in relationships. When afraid of people, caring can make them feel helpless.

At best strong and commanding, willing to speak the truth and confront with integrity
At worst driven to deny fear/insecurity, can look Eight-ish ("get them before they get you")

Social (Duty):

This subtype is about being protected, being in a warm environment, needing rules and becoming too dependent on rules. They contain fear through mutual obligation and commitment. Self-doubt is lessened by the power of collective authority, based on a system. Capable of enormous self-sacrifice; protectors of the underdog. Sometimes they pretend to be much more dutiful than they are.

At best dedicated to the cause or mission, will do whatever is required
At worst too secure with rules, authority based on system, the Devil's henchmen.

 

[TalkTypestoMe]

I'm still not sure..this makes me think I'm a 6 xD