INTP, INTJ or maybe ISTP?

[MyCupOfTea]

I really struggle figuring out my husband's type although I'm pretty sure it's one of these three. He definitely has strong thinking function over the feeling functions which is the main difference between him and me. People who do not know him well probably see him as a intelligent, calm and maybe a little distant person who doesn't talk a lot but is worth listening. With close friends and family he's more talkative and opinionated and shows his sarcastic sense of humor and more easy-going and spontaneous side of his. It's easiest for me to describe him by comparing myself (INFP) with him so here we go:

Things we have in common:
- Interest to the unconventional. We both enjoy new and exciting ideas and ways to do things. We also enjoy talking about our ideas so we can challenge our theories a bit further.
- Comfortable with silence. We often spend time at home in our heads without saying a word. It's a real stress relief for both of us.
- Procrastination. How long is it possible to avoid making a simple, quick phone call or doing necessary household chores? We need a manager...
- Acceptance. We both share "live and let live" attitude.
- Not good at arguing. We tend to avoid conflicts sometimes too long.
- Hate being in a center of attention especially when not prepared.

Things we differ:
- He has very scientific approach to life and he needs things to be scientifically valid before he can approve them. I trust my feelings and gut much more than him which clearly sometimes annoys him if we have to make a decision together.
- He can handle criticism much better than I do. I'm much more sensitive.
- He's not as affected to the negative atmosphere of a situation as I am. He probably doesn't sense it as easily as I do.
- He's very good at giving directions and explaining things to others so they can understand the issue. But when it comes to understanding emotions etc I know better than him what to say or do.
- When studying something new he's usually the first one who gets the main idea and he quickly knows how to approach it. He does this in his head while I need to think out loud and see how others respond to my various ideas.

 

[Gladius]

He sounds a lot like an INTP to me.

 

[MyCupOfTea]

He sounds a lot like an INTP to me.

What makes you think that? (just curious)

 

[BadOctopus]

I would almost say he's an INTJ, because he sounds like me in almost every aspect except one: the whole "not good at arguing" thing. If I know I'm right about something, I can argue the point with merciless, relentless logic, until the person I'm arguing with either breaks down and admits they're wrong, or screams and walks away. Usually the latter.

But avoiding conflict and veering away from debates sounds more like an INTP thing.

 

[MyCupOfTea]

I would almost say he's an INTJ, because he sounds like me in almost every aspect except one: the whole "not good at arguing" thing. If I know I'm right about something, I can argue the point with merciless, relentless logic, until the person I'm arguing with either breaks down and admits they're wrong, or screams and walks away. Usually the latter.

But avoiding conflict and veering away from debates sounds more like an INTP thing.

It seems I've had a bad choice of words. To me what you said sounds more like debating in which my husband is very good at, when he thinks he has valid reasoning of course (which he usually does). He loves to prove others wrong when their statements are based on just personal preferences or prejudices - this quality of his is something I have created a love-hate relationship with.
Edit: he does this mainly with people he already knows, rarely with strangers or acquaintances.

By arguing I meant more like emotional stuff, expressing negative feelings like anger, disappointment etc towards other people. We both avoid confronting others for that matter and rather be passive aggressive about it.

Do INTPs like to debate (or argue, if that's a better word for that) like this? How does INTJs and INTPs express their negative feelings?