INF... something.

[Cloudmourner]

Heyo.

Help me out here. I've been thinking that I'm an INFJ but can't quite prove that I'm not an INFP, which has left me thinking I might be an INFP unable to prove I'm not an INFJ. Here's a bit about myself to act as a platform for interrogation, and maybe you can all play 20 questions with me after.

May as well start with some action: was recently given a swift kick out the door and a "begone" by my loving parents, who decided that if I wasn't gonna be a hardcore fundamentalist Christian parish boy, I sure as all Heaven wasn't going to not be it in their house. In the last weeks of living at home, I became something of a wreck while conflict was literally the only social interaction I had. I didn't have a place to go, so my life consisted of hiding in my room and occasionally coming out to dinner to be blasted with questions like "HAVE YOU DONE YOUR BIBLE STUDY AND REPENTED?!" My response was often silence, trying to find words to soften their coming reaction and still admit that, no, I hadn't done that because honestly I was already done with their belief system. I usually ran out of time and got blasted again with accusations of disrespect. When they tried to preach me into submission, I tried my hardest to give my own views, but I could hardly keep up with their practiced delivery, only finding holes in their logic well after the window of opportunity passed.

So, in short, I had an idea in my head that I wasn't ever going to budge on. I knew they were wrong but couldn't express why in face to face communication. Regardless of whether they "won" or not, I had made up my mind to leave and it was all really just a matter of trying to get them to accept me regardless.

Since then, I've somehow stopped regarding them as people. At the time, losing them meant I was going to lose everything. I wanted their love desperately and I fought long to keep it. But, as I've learned, they've faded away in my head to mere shades, droplets of water in that meaningless river of my past. The tie is severed. It could be repaired, I am sure, but it doesn't matter to me whether it is or not.

So, that's a little something about my conflict response.

One thing I remember reading about INFPs is that they value sentimentality. I'm really not sure about this one. I have a bracelet on my wrist right now that was given to me by a Korean who singled me out as the most fantastic person she met while she was here in Australia. I haven't seen her since she gave it to me (she flew back to Korea and deleted her Facebook), but I still wear it every day. I've tried to become attached to it sentimentally, but I just wear it because it looks cool. The same thing occurred with my girlfriend -- I had a handwritten note mailed to me, since we're long distance. The note (the only thing I owned that she has touched) was left behind when I left home and I don't miss it. I almost asked her to send me something else until I realised I didn't want that, I just wanted her to show she appreciated me.

I'll write some more as I'm prompted to, I suppose.

 

[pmj85]

Hi, and welcome to one of the biggest conundrums to plague the typology community. You are not alone!

Have you read up on and understood the cognitive functions? You absolutely must if you haven't already; when you do, you'll realise that INFP and INFJ are two completely different types. We don't even share a single function within our stack!

INFP
FiNeSiTe

INFJ
NiFeTiSe

Forget all the conjecture you find scattered around the net relating to various patterns of behaviour, etc. Read the functions and understand how dominant Fi looks versus dominant Ni. When you look at the type codes side by side they seem very similar, but stand an INFP next to an INFJ in real life and you're going to notice a huge, huge difference.

 

[velveteen]

I'm not so sure that your stories are super relevant when determining your type, they just seem too general. Instead, try explaining why you think you're an INFP and not an INFJ and vice versa.

 

[Cloudmourner]

Yeah, you're right. My thoughts are kinda scattered at the moment. Let's try again.

Reasons I think I might be an INFP (which is what I'm leaning towards now).

- My intuition is pretty bloody good. I often get told "wow, it's like you're in my head". I learn programs and systems just by tinkering and can often do tasks I haven't learned. Is this sort of what you'd expect from Ne?
- I'm scarred easily by criticism, but usually only criticism from people who I admire. Randoms calling me an idiot is just sort of funny, but if my girlfriend criticises a flaw I feel vulnerable. This is Fi? Maybe?
- I often change my social persona so I don't offend people or call criticism -- a minor example: I'm vegan and I feel somewhat strongly about animal welfare, but I'm liable to have a lighthearted jab at veganism and animal rights when with a bunch of meat eaters, because I'd rather not start fights or seem like I disapprove too strongly of them as people. This seems like it might also fit into Fi.

...honestly, I'm getting confused now. It seems like a lot these cognitive functions aren't mutually exclusive, unless I'm understanding them wrong. It seems like my second reason could be Fe or Fi. And I'm definitely aligned more to Se than Si. Zero forethought and overindulgence are basically my calling cards. *headspin*

 

[oneandonly]

Yeah, you're right. My thoughts are kinda scattered at the moment. Let's try again.

Reasons I think I might be an INFP (which is what I'm leaning towards now).

- My intuition is pretty bloody good. I often get told "wow, it's like you're in my head". I learn programs and systems just by tinkering and can often do tasks I haven't learned. Is this sort of what you'd expect from Ne?
- I'm scarred easily by criticism, but usually only criticism from people who I admire. Randoms calling me an idiot is just sort of funny, but if my girlfriend criticises a flaw I feel vulnerable. This is Fi? Maybe?
- I often change my social persona so I don't offend people or call criticism -- a minor example: I'm vegan and I feel somewhat strongly about animal welfare, but I'm liable to have a lighthearted jab at veganism and animal rights when with a bunch of meat eaters, because I'd rather not start fights or seem like I disapprove too strongly of them as people. This seems like it might also fit into Fi.

...honestly, I'm getting confused now. It seems like a lot these cognitive functions aren't mutually exclusive, unless I'm understanding them wrong. It seems like my second reason could be Fe or Fi. And I'm definitely aligned more to Se than Si. Zero forethought and overindulgence are basically my calling cards. *headspin*

Either way, you sound like a lovely person.
Take a read of these function explanations. They were more in depth comparing Introverted to extroverted of the specific functions

I would focus on NI vs NE and TI VS TE... If you are a very "Feeling" type FI vs FE can be more confusing.

Socionics - the16types.info - MBTI: Descriptions of cognitive functions from various sources