Two of my good friends: which one sounds like an ENFJ??

[ChrisC99]

I realized I'm probably a little off in how I envisioning typing people when I came up with the same type for two of my friends...who couldn't be MORE different-acting! So I'll try to describe them, and maybe you could tell me which one I went wrong typing??

So my first friend is very interactive - I don't think I've ever seen her in a setting where she's not engaged in conversation. For HOURS. loves meeting new people, talks to them about their lives, always putting the focus on the other person in conversation and putting them up. She's very witty too. Yet at the same time, she's very subtle: quiet and vigilantly careful never to say or do anything that might be seen as offensive by someone else. When someone disagrees with her or even is rude, she'll either try to say something showing she understands their side, or will keep quiet. In a group she never tries to get noticed the most, but people tend to just start seeing her as the 'elected leader' because she's the one always looking out for everyone's best interests. She likes to be organized and have a plan, and is a bit rule-oriented too. Yet despite always seeming to gravitate towards crowds and always comfortable in her natural environment - conversation with a growing group of people - in personal life she also has a very quiet, reflective side, being an intellectual who's often in her own head, thinking of creative ideas about just about everything though maybe hesitant to share them for fear of arousing disagreement. She would be happier settling and caring for those she cares about than being famous or powerful.

Now, my OTHER friend is the first person you notice in every group, the first to walk into the center of nay crowd and the first to speak up if there's anything at all that can be said. Very comfortable in public, utterly lacking in shyness, outspoken and witty. She DOES NOT CARE if people will like what she has to say or not - her agenda is to be herself and to do what she believes needs to be done. She is blunt and to the point, unreserved, and usually can make anyone laugh. She takes charge and ends up telling everyone what she thinks they should do. With her massive intellect, people almost always end up following her too. In private though, she also goes deep into her thoughts, absolutely needing to disappear for time alone (then getting lonely, in an interesting paradox) - and she will spend hours sharing her ideas about things. She is very structured, planning everything in advance down to the time it all must be done...yet can also make massive life changes on a whim, when she is convinced it is the right thing to do....even if those beliefs are based on a very personal view of things that cannot be swayed, except sometimes with long reasoned discussion that often feels like a mental chessgame. She is always filled with energy, self-assured in everything she does however eccentric, and dreams of doing great things and being known for them. She can seem professorial, almost cold in how abruptly she can give opinions or even cut people off, yet she is also deeply emotional and very affectionate, quick to share tears and hug strangers as well, and filled with creative ideas of how to make the world better for the underprivileged.

Well, what do you think??

 

[skylights]

First sounds pretty solidly ExFJ and second ENxJ.

Enneagram can make a huge difference, as well. First sounds 2w3ish and second sounds 8w7ish.

 

[yeghor]

I realized I'm probably a little off in how I envisioning typing people when I came up with the same type for two of my friends...who couldn't be MORE different-acting! So I'll try to describe them, and maybe you could tell me which one I went wrong typing??

So my first friend is very interactive - I don't think I've ever seen her in a setting where she's not engaged in conversation. For HOURS. loves meeting new people, talks to them about their lives, always putting the focus on the other person in conversation and putting them up. She's very witty too. Yet at the same time, she's very subtle: quiet and vigilantly careful never to say or do anything that might be seen as offensive by someone else. When someone disagrees with her or even is rude, she'll either try to say something showing she understands their side, or will keep quiet. In a group she never tries to get noticed the most, but people tend to just start seeing her as the 'elected leader' because she's the one always looking out for everyone's best interests. She likes to be organized and have a plan, and is a bit rule-oriented too. Yet despite always seeming to gravitate towards crowds and always comfortable in her natural environment - conversation with a growing group of people - in personal life she also has a very quiet, reflective side, being an intellectual who's often in her own head, thinking of creative ideas about just about everything though maybe hesitant to share them for fear of arousing disagreement. She would be happier settling and caring for those she cares about than being famous or powerful.

Now, my OTHER friend is the first person you notice in every group, the first to walk into the center of nay crowd and the first to speak up if there's anything at all that can be said. Very comfortable in public, utterly lacking in shyness, outspoken and witty. She DOES NOT CARE if people will like what she has to say or not - her agenda is to be herself and to do what she believes needs to be done. She is blunt and to the point, unreserved, and usually can make anyone laugh. She takes charge and ends up telling everyone what she thinks they should do. With her massive intellect, people almost always end up following her too. In private though, she also goes deep into her thoughts, absolutely needing to disappear for time alone (then getting lonely, in an interesting paradox) - and she will spend hours sharing her ideas about things. She is very structured, planning everything in advance down to the time it all must be done...yet can also make massive life changes on a whim, when she is convinced it is the right thing to do....even if those beliefs are based on a very personal view of things that cannot be swayed, except sometimes with long reasoned discussion that often feels like a mental chessgame. She is always filled with energy, self-assured in everything she does however eccentric, and dreams of doing great things and being known for them. She can seem professorial, almost cold in how abruptly she can give opinions or even cut people off, yet she is also deeply emotional and very affectionate, quick to share tears and hug strangers as well, and filled with creative ideas of how to make the world better for the underprivileged.

Well, what do you think??

First one sounds like ExFJ, second one sounds like ESFP.

Which one are you? I bet the second one.

 

[ChrisC99]

First one sounds like ExFJ, second one sounds like ESFP.

Which one are you? I bet the second one.

Me? You mean li'l ol me?? Oooh - guess! And NO PEEKING

So it seems y'all agree on the first of the two. I really do think she's an intuitor; deep thinker, more reflective, good with people but visibly in her head instead of living exclusively in that interaction. But you seem to disagree on the second one. I agree she's certainly the harder one to type. Certainly the more complex personality!

 

[skylights]

second one sounds like ESFP.

Interesting. I was thinking exactly the same thing until I read "she is very structured, planning everything..."... Then I was like errrrr.

 

[ChrisC99]

Interesting. I was thinking exactly the same thing until I read "she is very structured, planning everything..."... Then I was like errrrr.

Yeah, that was also my main reason for thinking she might be a judger. She likes to plan in advance how things are going to go. She's very organized, and in person she seems very focused. But, she has that spontaneous side that can make drastic changes almost on a whim as well.