Kierva
#KUWK
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2010
- Messages
- 2,469
- Enneagram
- 6w7
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
To start off, I've never been particularly sure about my type. I see myself as this formless being who has been put into this vessel, acting or feeling according to what the situation asks of me.
And it's because of this "adaptability" that I find it so hard to pin myself down to a type.
With that being said, there has been a constant in myself over the years. I have never been one to like big groups -- I always found myself by the sidelines just listening into the conversation because I don't know what to contribute. When I do try to speak up, it always ends up falling short of the intended effect (sustaining the conversation as a group) and I unintentionally drive it to a complete halt or end up alienating everyone else. A very good example of this
weakness is when [MENTION=7160]Nijntje[/MENTION] and I shut down the whole of Vent with our nerd interests in WoW and other game stuff.
I've been a member on this forum for nearly 4 years and I only have over 1000 posts. It's the same thing I mentioned earlier. I really don't have anything to say and I don't want to come off as an empty vessel. I also don't think my threads ever go more than 3 pages because I'm just so bad at engaging people.
If there's one thing I noticed about myself, it's that I tend to come into forums and pick out the people that I like, then bail. I form more personal connections with these people that I pick (say hey, bey [MENTION=17131]Beyonce[/MENTION]), and our conversations usually revolve around personal developments and judging other people in the forum.
If there's one thing I noticed about myself when I'm judging people, it's that I get very personal. I don't judge people according the group that they belong to, I judge them according to their traits and how they carry themselves. These judgments linger for a long time, and until I can see a noticeable change in the jerk himself, he will always be a jerk to me.
Case in point is my relationship with my mother. I am convinced that she will never be "good" in my eyes because of all the things she's done to me, and I know her too well for those things and tendencies to happen to me again.
Fi:
)
My mother is very bad at finances. On more than one occasion her reckless spending has put us into danger -- we have lived without electricity or food (and the worst part was that it was during the fasting month) for a couple of days. Because of this, I'm very keen with finances.
What she usually does is to get the $0 downpayment plan, thinking that it's a good deal. What she doesn't realize is that it's not free, and that the monthly instalments will come to bite her in the ass later on. If I can't pay it full in cash, I almost always choose the cheapest instalment plans (the ones that usually come with high upfront costs) so that it won't be as much of a pain to maintain it later on.
She likes to get the cheapest thing, even when the thing is going to stay with us for a long time. I know that it's going to break down later on and I'd much rather avoid that. Because of this, I often pick the option that would cost me more upfront, so that it won't be as a pain later on. In a way I'd rather have one sharp sting as opposed to a continuing dull pain that you have to put up with.Te:
)
We always fight because of this -- she argues that she doesn't have the money to afford something that expensive, yet in my eyes it's like "if you can't afford it, don't get it until you can".
I'm like a Jewish person in this regard -- I mean, I get so happy if I find that I can save money on something that I need or want. I just have this knack at being at the right place at the right time when it comes to buying something -- I got myself a pair of jeans at Uniqlo for $10 (RRP was $80). I also saved nearly $100 when I got my MBMJ wallet and glasses, so I was obviously very happy. I always find myself like a kid in a candy store when I find out I saved a huge amount of money... I mean when I share it with other people I don't understand why they're not as happy as I am?
Anyway. I was about to write something about how Beta never really felt right to me, but it doesn't feel right to continue it. Breaks the flow. If you want I'll elaborate it on another clean post, but for now just give me your opinion. What do you guys think?
And it's because of this "adaptability" that I find it so hard to pin myself down to a type.
With that being said, there has been a constant in myself over the years. I have never been one to like big groups -- I always found myself by the sidelines just listening into the conversation because I don't know what to contribute. When I do try to speak up, it always ends up falling short of the intended effect (sustaining the conversation as a group) and I unintentionally drive it to a complete halt or end up alienating everyone else. A very good example of this
weakness is when [MENTION=7160]Nijntje[/MENTION] and I shut down the whole of Vent with our nerd interests in WoW and other game stuff. I've been a member on this forum for nearly 4 years and I only have over 1000 posts. It's the same thing I mentioned earlier. I really don't have anything to say and I don't want to come off as an empty vessel. I also don't think my threads ever go more than 3 pages because I'm just so bad at engaging people.
If there's one thing I noticed about myself, it's that I tend to come into forums and pick out the people that I like, then bail. I form more personal connections with these people that I pick (say hey, bey [MENTION=17131]Beyonce[/MENTION]), and our conversations usually revolve around personal developments and judging other people in the forum.
If there's one thing I noticed about myself when I'm judging people, it's that I get very personal. I don't judge people according the group that they belong to, I judge them according to their traits and how they carry themselves. These judgments linger for a long time, and until I can see a noticeable change in the jerk himself, he will always be a jerk to me.
Case in point is my relationship with my mother. I am convinced that she will never be "good" in my eyes because of all the things she's done to me, and I know her too well for those things and tendencies to happen to me again.
Fi:)My mother is very bad at finances. On more than one occasion her reckless spending has put us into danger -- we have lived without electricity or food (and the worst part was that it was during the fasting month) for a couple of days. Because of this, I'm very keen with finances.
What she usually does is to get the $0 downpayment plan, thinking that it's a good deal. What she doesn't realize is that it's not free, and that the monthly instalments will come to bite her in the ass later on. If I can't pay it full in cash, I almost always choose the cheapest instalment plans (the ones that usually come with high upfront costs) so that it won't be as much of a pain to maintain it later on.
She likes to get the cheapest thing, even when the thing is going to stay with us for a long time. I know that it's going to break down later on and I'd much rather avoid that. Because of this, I often pick the option that would cost me more upfront, so that it won't be as a pain later on. In a way I'd rather have one sharp sting as opposed to a continuing dull pain that you have to put up with.
Te:)We always fight because of this -- she argues that she doesn't have the money to afford something that expensive, yet in my eyes it's like "if you can't afford it, don't get it until you can".
I'm like a Jewish person in this regard -- I mean, I get so happy if I find that I can save money on something that I need or want. I just have this knack at being at the right place at the right time when it comes to buying something -- I got myself a pair of jeans at Uniqlo for $10 (RRP was $80). I also saved nearly $100 when I got my MBMJ wallet and glasses, so I was obviously very happy. I always find myself like a kid in a candy store when I find out I saved a huge amount of money... I mean when I share it with other people I don't understand why they're not as happy as I am?
Anyway. I was about to write something about how Beta never really felt right to me, but it doesn't feel right to continue it. Breaks the flow. If you want I'll elaborate it on another clean post, but for now just give me your opinion. What do you guys think?
has been more than obvious when we spend time together, as well as when you used 
