Which type is my friend?

[Bleach]

I have a good friend, whom I simply can't type. The only thing I'm completely sure of, is his initial E...

He's in his 30s and financial secure.

He's single, but has a strong wish to settle down. He has absolutely NO trouble getting girls to fancy him, but he's very picky and loses interest very easily. He's secretly loves romance and is amazing with children (and animals).

Some years ago, in his mid 20s, he had a long-term girlfriend, but he couldn't seem to stop cheating on her. He never told her, but later revealed to me (during a long night of boozing), that he did it because she wasn't pretty enough for him, he felt incredibly bad about saying it out loud, but that was the cold hard truth.

He's an excellent flirter, he gets his way with almost every girl he meets - however, if he's the slightest bit interested in the girl, he clams up and gets really nervous.

When it comes to discussing 'deeper' subjects like politics, philosophy etc., he completely zones out due to boredom. He's actually a very smart guy, he loves going to the museum and is surprisingly cultural, he's just not interested in talking too much about it.

He owns a motorcycle, snowboards every year, collects gadgets (he LOVES gadgets) and enjoys a fast-paced life in general.

Alone time isn't a word in his vocab, he fills out every waking moment with things to see - and especially people to see - he needs people around all the time, he can't stand being alone and doing nothing.

He's bubbly, friendly and always has a huge grin on his face - I've actually never seen him angry or upset.

A thing that really messes with my brain about him, is his sensitivity. He's a really emotional guy, not something that is obvious to many, only the people close to his heart. He also ADORES his family, his loyalty towards them is quite something!

His home is immaculate, he's a very neat guy. Also he enjoys the finer things in life, a good steak, wine etc.

A thing that really took me off-guard, is his bossy side. Not many would know he even has it, but me, a younger INTJ female, gets to see it fairly often. I can be quite bossy without noticing it, behaving a bit like a puppet master, and when I behave like this around our group of friends, he steps in immediately, takes charge over me and tells me off - this without ANYONE, apart from the two of us, has a clue. If someone else even TRIED to behave like this towards me, there's NO chance in HELL they would survive!!! But for some reason, it's OK for him to do it...

Any help typing my friend will be highly appreciated.

 

[LanaBanana]

My guess is ESFJ- can be bossy, dislikes "deeper subjects" though very smart, familiy oriented, neat, good with children and aminals, enjoys the good things in life; though I doubt an ESFJ would cheat on his girlfriend... My other guess is ESTJ because they can appear sensitive as well, though they are less friendly and bubbly. Give him information about the two types and let him decide with which one he identifies better. Good luck!

 

[Bleach]

My guess is ESFJ- can be bossy, dislikes "deeper subjects" though very smart, familiy oriented, neat, good with children and aminals, enjoys the good things in life; though I doubt an ESFJ would cheat on his girlfriend... My other guess is ESTJ because they can appear sensitive as well, though they are less friendly and bubbly. Give him information about the two types and let him decide with which one he identifies better. Good luck!

Thanks, Lana. Why would you note him as a J? Couldn't he be a P?

 

[LanaBanana]

Thanks, Lana. Why would you note him as a J? Couldn't he be a P?

ESTP crossed my mind, but I notcied you mentioned he's very loyal to his family and has a strong wish to settle down. Also, he's quite neat; P's are less orginzed. Hence, I believe he's a J.

By the way, my name's Yarden and not Lana; my username is drawn from Lana Winters, a character from the show American Horror Story, haha. But I can definitely see why you'd think my name's Lana!

 

[Bleach]

Nice to meet you, Yarden.

How about ESTJ, then? I believe he's a Sensor, but I can't reckon whether he's T or F... I think you're right about the J.

 

[LanaBanana]

Nice to meet you, Yarden.

How about ESTJ, then? I believe he's a Sensor, but I can't reckon whether he's T or F... I think you're right about the J.

Nice to meet you too!

I was almost sure he's an ESTJ, because ESTJ's are also very sensitive (Think Monica from Friends), but they aren't really bubbly; they're more serious. But then again, this is my objective view, I don't know your friend personally. He might be an ESTJ with a strong Fi.

 

[Agnes]

ESFP

E you already know, S cause he doesn't seem occupied with future and he enjoys life now living fast; F and T is hard as well as P and J. But I think he might be F. I was also thinking J, but I'm not sure, P seems to fit better with other that is already decided.

A thing that really took me off-guard, is his bossy side. Not many would know he even has it, but me, a younger INTJ female, gets to see it fairly often. I can be quite bossy without noticing it, behaving a bit like a puppet master, and when I behave like this around our group of friends, he steps in immediately, takes charge over me and tells me off - this without ANYONE, apart from the two of us, has a clue. If someone else even TRIED to behave like this towards me, there's NO chance in HELL they would survive!!! But for some reason, it's OK for him to do it...

This can come from his F side, or FJ side. If I understood it well, he might want you to stop behave "unkind" to people or something like that. It reminds me of my mom FJ that scolds me like that. And only she can do that cause I would rip anyone else their head off.

 

[entropie]

Better question would be: what do you do to win him over for your cause ?

 

[Fluorescent]

My first impression is ESFJ, though upon reading the other comments I guess he might be a 2w1 ESTJ.

I see a lot Fe and you have to consider that gender brings a significant difference in typing, especially when it comes to SJs who are usually rooted in what society expects of them. So a male ESFJ is a masculine, driven and neat person with a soft interior and a strong desire to settle down and start the ideal family.
In my opinion ESTJs and ISTJs are two faces of the same coin, both might give a stiff, stern and workaholic impression and whilst the extroverts are more suave, they are more prone to express their feeling through actions and providing security rather than charming and emotionally manipulating.
Reigning in any kind of NT arrogance, especially when it comes to keeping the harmony, plus his love for animals and children makes me think of a Fe dom and his bubbliness and love for the finer things in life are very Se. No Si whatsoever.

A 2w1 wing could justify both of his fixation on perfection ("not pretty enough") and his need to constantly seek and size a partner.

 

[lecky]

I immediately thought ENTP 3w2, not sure why.

 

[Habba]

As I read through, I went from ISTP to ESTP and finally to ESFP.

ISTPs really like gadgets, functional gadgets that is. Every ISTP has a motorcycle and enjoy sports such as snowboarding.
However, they do enjoy solitary activities a lot, so this doesn't fit perfectly with what you described.

ESTPs love hanging out with people and easily get bored with philosophical conversations. However, they can be really cultural. They value cultural because it is valuable, not because it not necessarily hold any significant meaning for them (as opposite to N culture lovers, who see symbolisms everywhere). ESTPs often see culture as a status symbol (in cultures which it can be seen as such). However, they are not exactly sensitive people.

Which leads me to ESFP.

I believe J people have messy homes, P people have it neat.

 

[Stansmith]

ESFx

 

[Mal12345]

I have to go with ENTJ. His various interests you mentioned, his meticulousness, his love of gadgetry, and his relative bossiness all point in the direction of ENTJ.

 

[Bleach]

Update

I had drinks with him Friday night, and I ended up almost interrogating him - not that he noticed, because I'm a journalist and does it for a living + he's quite fond of talking about himself... I could've just asked him to take the test, but that's not nearly as fun for me.

Well, we ended up having sex, which I've been planning to happen for a while; he attracts me. He turned out to be a major softy, very cuddly and attentive. It seems like he doesn't have any major difficulties with sharing his insecurities and shortcomings, however, he doesn't appear the slightest bit self-conscious.

So far, my research points at him being an ESFX.

 

[WALMART]

You can't really know someone you haven't fucked, Psychology 101.

 

[Mal12345]

You can't really know someone you haven't fucked, Psychology 101.

Lol.

 

[Bleach]

You can't really know someone you haven't fucked, Psychology 101.

I don't own a sense of humour; I reckon that statement to be absolutely true.