Struggling with the Enneagram

[floralcoralpot]

Please Ignore Thread

...

 

[small.wonder]

[MENTION=20441]floralcoralpot[/MENTION] You are...conflicted, I see.

I'm going to guess 3, 6 or 9, leaning towards 3.

You mention success/achieving a lot (in the 3, 4, and 8 sections), and your ability to see yourself in all of the types says "chameleon" to me. You say in both the 4 and 5 sections that you "try to be" perceived of as a certain way. You said, "I was all postured to look relaxed...", and "I try to embody the artist stereotype...". This fits with type 3's tendency to present themselves in whatever way will make them liked, hired, successful, loved.

You care about what others think of you: you said that you don't dress masculine (even though you want to) because of what people might think. Also that, "...I'm more easily influenced by people's words than that type of personality (8) is.", and "...I need some sort of feedback, outside reassurance from people."

You sound extroverted to me, but would you consider yourself so?

In the 3 section you said, "when authority called on me to do something, I gladly did it". Do you comply out of respect for the authority, because it's responsible or do you comply to succeed?

My first guess is 3w2, you sound very heart and image focused.

 

[highlander]

I can suggest a couple things. First, this video is pretty good.

Second, if you want to figure out your type, I'd recommend their tests here. The best one is where you have a discussion/interview with a practitioner.

 

[highlander]

I took the free test, and my top results were Six than Nine. Security or peace or success (3)? Hard to choose for me. (Liked the way they presented the test; very unique and useful).

Thanks for the links.

That's interesting. Six and nine are related. 9 is the integration point for 6 and 6 is the disintegration point for 9.

You might be a 6.

 

[small.wonder]

Indeed, they are all connected through integration and disintegration. I think it's not uncommon for those who are 3, 6 or 9 to narrow it down to these three types. I've definitely read that somewhere, if I think of the source I'll let you know. Each of those types has definite reasoning for being conflicted but I think you are 3 or 6-- definitely not 9 from your OP.

3 - one of the least self aware types, and masters of being whatever they need to be to succeed (and thus are generally unfamiliar with their true self). Enneagram Institute says this:

"The problem is that, in the headlong rush to achieve whatever they believe will make them more valuable, Threes can become so alienated from themselves that they no longer know what they truly want, or what their real feelings or interests are. In this state, they are easy prey to self–deception, deceit, and falseness of all kinds. Thus, the deeper problem is that their search for a way to be value increasingly takes them further away from their own Essential Self with its core of real value. From their earliest years, as Threes become dependent on receiving attention from others and in pursuing the values that others reward, they gradually lose touch with themselves. Step by step, their own inner core, their 'heart’s desire,' is left behind until they no longer recognize it."

6 - indecisive as an element of anxiety, mistrust and self doubt. Dubbed the most populous and most commonly conflicted in determining type. I couldn't find a quote that added anything to this, but will let you know if I do.

Thoughts?

 

[small.wonder]

I am probably less self-aware than I think I am (I always think I am hyperaware but am beginning to discover that that's not true.). I've had people pulling me different ways, telling me what careers I should pursue, all in opposition of what I want, and it created a lot of doubt in me. I was beginning to think that the one thing that was mine was wrong--maybe I shouldn't trust myself after all? I'm trying to pinpoint my main source of confusion, however, and it doesn't have to do with being highly adaptable. I'm confused when... I'm out of the loop of something that occurred when I was gone, and I feel like people are keeping something from me, and then I get kind of passive aggressive to get someone to spill the beans. As a child (if they're talking elementary age) I remember trying to connect with as many people as possible (in an off putting way), correcting my teachers and then isolating myself. In middle school I was focused on my schoolwork. That's all I did, because I never saw why friends were necessary. Now I'm all over the place. I think my middle school attitude fits a lot with the Three description.

Actually (though it realize you were talking about 3) everything bolded above feels pretty 6. Letting others lead you to doubt yourself, trust/mistrust/suspicion themes in general. Confusion, tendency to jump back and forth-- that's very 6. I have 6 friends who agree that when they are not with friends, they wonder if those friends are hanging out without them. The correcting your teachers bit could be 6 as we'll because the Loyalist has an authority thing. They both obey blindly (like your letting people tell you what careers to pursue) and question/rebel against-- back and forth, duality is huge with 6.
I suggest you read this description, and this one too.

I'm usually indecisive because of my fear. When someone presents a huge opportunity to me, I immediately look to what could happen and what appears in my mind pushes me to want to say 'nah, no thanks' but I say 'yes' without thinking and then I start distracting myself to take away from the anxiety, maybe I'll post about my dilemma online somewhere, just to distract me. When the day comes that I have to do it, I'll just try avoiding it as much as possible.

This, of course, is also very 6. Fear is the Passion of 6, your anxiety and worst case scenario way of thinking fits that to a tee. I'll be interested in what you have to say after reading the above links.

[MENTION=8936]highlander[/MENTION] Just for some check and balance and because you are a 6, and agreed that she could be a 6 (as did the test results): What's your take on the above sentiments and my reading them as the Loyalist?

I think I'm leaning toward 3w2 for now, but I started watching the video linked a few posts ago and I really related to the woman talking about herself being a Type One. The difference between me and her is that she probably thinks about being right everywhere she goes, while for me it's just something I go through in my head if I'm in a bad mood. I go out, try to stay away from as much people as possible, and get my work done.

This seals the deal for me, my opinion is that you are a 6 (w/7 probably, due to your description of distracting yourself from anxiety). The reason I say that is because 1 and 6 have a heck ton of a lot in common. They both want what's "right" but for with different motivations-- 1 to be correct, good, perfect and 6 out of responsibility or for honor.

IRL I have encountered two 1's and four 6's that narrow down to those two types before identifying their type. It's pretty uncanny but makes sense!

 

[highlander]

Actually (though it realize you were talking about 3) everything bolded above feels pretty 6. Letting others lead you to doubt yourself, trust/mistrust/suspicion themes in general. Confusion, tendency to jump back and forth-- that's very 6. I have 6 friends who agree that when they are not with friends, they wonder if those friends are hanging out without them. The correcting your teachers bit could be 6 as we'll because the Loyalist has an authority thing. They both obey blindly (like your letting people tell you what careers to pursue) and question/rebel against-- back and forth, duality is huge with 6.
I suggest you read this description, and this one too.



This, of course, is also very 6. Fear is the Passion of 6, your anxiety and worst case scenario way of thinking fits that to a tee. I'll be interested in what you have to say after reading the above links.

[MENTION=8936]highlander[/MENTION] Just for some check and balance and because you are a 6, and agreed that she could be a 6 (as did the test results): What's your take on the above sentiments and my reading them as the Loyalist?

The thing that caught my eye were the apparent contradictions and multiple viewpoints. "I'm like this but I'm also like this but I'm like this too." 6s are full of contradictions and if it is narrowed down between 3, 6 and 9 then that feels like 6 to me.

 

[small.wonder]

[MENTION=20441]floralcoralpot[/MENTION] Cool, I'm glad you've made sense of your Enneagram type. Now is the fun part where you read everything you can about 6 (and 6w7 specifically) to fully understand your motivations an such.