Type Me (New and Improved With Marmite Flavour!)

[Rajah]

I like to let things go haywire and bring them to order. I'll be back later.

Oh, and we don't like feeling toyed with!

[Geoff]

Another thing I do not think y'all are getting is that Jen might look like she's doing what you're saying -- because that's what it looks like on the surface -- but mostly she's just bored and jerking your chain around.

What I have found with ESFJs is that often when using Fe badly, they're NOT aware of it... or they're a mess and inside and recognize that much but have no idea what's wrong or how to fix it. Because they're stuck in their frame of reference.

Hmm. I hear what you are saying.. what I see here though is twisting as a defence mechanism when Jen feels like she is being personally attacked. She's looking for an escape clause - because her Fe has gone wrong and she's stuck in a discussion and feels uncomfortable.

I don't see many of the posts like that as her enjoying having fun with it. There are a couple like that, but more that are a personal defence mechanism to try and avoid conflict/disagreement.

A classic example is her thanking me for me opinion but then telling me that I'm no good at judging personalities online. There is nothing there other than self defence.

[MetalWounds]

It seems like things are getting a bit more dramatic than they need to.

I think a few people would benefit from stepping back for a moment to put things into perspective.

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

Actually, I've been at the receiving end of this before (the team up by you and Edahn and maybe Geoff, in my blog), and so I don't think it's all just her. It just took me a bit of time to catch on, because originally I assumed it was all me too... until I thought about it.

It's the sort of approach you guys are taking that is adding to the confusion; I think there's also some personality dynamic where her style personally rubs you the wrong way, and you're not seeing past it.

Communication is a two-way street. Perhaps the way you are analyzing what's occurring in the thread and attributing particular motivations to her behavior is not reflective of the total reality.

:rolli:

This reminds me of one of the first criticisms I made (about you, I believe) when I came to this site, about people being afraid to openly and honestly criticize other people. What I see you doing in this post is using a bunch of vague terms and ideas to help the OP avoid having to deal with and take responsibility for the issues presented in this thread, including her motivation for starting the thread, the way and reasons she has tried to steer the outcome of the poll, and her reluctance to admit any of this and instead pretend like it was all a game, all along. We're all just different people with clashing styles, so no one's responsible for anything, and we can all just ignore what happened.

[Geoff]

Actually, I've been at the receiving end of this before (the team up by you and Edahn and maybe Geoff, in my blog), and so I don't think it's all just her. It just took me a bit of time to catch on, because originally I assumed it was all me too... until I thought about it.

I believe you do me a disservice.. I very rarely post anything on your blog (no offence..!) and I haven't done so in any such way when I have.

In fact, this was the last of the only four posts I've made to your blog :

http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...tml#post210339

Edit : quoted, for the hard of clicking :

I for one appreciate your efforts, especially the mod ones, even as you say when it is helping and advising on general principles (plus it's far less effort than finding a replacement )

[Night]

You kids are cute.

[colmena]

You kids are cute.

Do you think you're ugly?

[Jeffster]

Let's try a more positive approach. For those of you who think I am responding poorly please provide examples of how you think I should be responding instead of asking me the same question over and over.

I think you're responding great. Except for that one post where you pasted in some long thing you didn't write. That had way too many words in it. But the rest of your posts are great, especially when you get all up in Edahn's grill.

[The_Liquid_Laser]

Here is a question for the Black Team. What would you say Jen's interaction style is? In-Charge, Chart-The-Course, Get-Things-Going, or Behind-The-Scenes?
Understanding Berens' Interaction Styles

[Totenkindly]

:rolli:

This reminds me of one of the first criticisms I made (about you, I believe) when I came to this site, about people being afraid to openly and honestly criticize other people. What I see you doing in this post is using a bunch of vague terms and ideas to help the OP avoid having to deal with and take responsibility for the issues presented in this thread, including her motivation for starting the thread, the way and reasons she has tried to steer the outcome of the poll, and her reluctance to admit any of this and instead pretend like it was all a game, all along. We're all just different people with clashing styles, so no one's responsible for anything, and we can all just ignore what happened.

We can take it up in PM.

Just to clarify, I'm a parent; and I am not an enabler by nature; and I get annoyed by enablers. So I support your actions to avoid enabling people; that's admirable.

But since that isn't what I'm doing, and I already expressed some agreement on what Jen was doing, and I think this situation has facets beyond the one you describe, you're rather just reinforcing what I said in my post: You're only approaching this from one direction... which is contributing to the conflict.

PM me if you want to discuss it further.
(If you don't, that's fine too.)

I believe you do me a disservice.. I very rarely post anything on your blog (no offence..!) and I haven't done so in any such way when I have.

If I misremembered, I'm sorry. (And thanks for your kind response before this one and explaining your side again, I appreciated that.)