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Am I a 4 or a 6?

Chad of the OttomanEmpire

Give me a fourth dot.
Joined
Jun 9, 2013
Messages
1,053
MBTI Type
NeTi
Enneagram
478
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
In regards to 4 I relate to their feelings of shame,of being defective,their romanticism,being aware of their own emotions,as well as their integration and disintegration points.When I was younger I always felt that I wasn't like my peers,like I was fucked up in some way that made me awkward,and inept in comparison.I think this was due to my being very sensitive from an early age,in tandem with being rejected by certain people early on,I've never truly been able to get over/cope with that.Whereas before I felt I was defective,now I have come to accept myself for what I am,and understand that there's nothing wrong with me,it's just the way I am.
This sounds like a core 4 issue to me, though I'm wondering if you've ALWAYS had the perception of being different and "wrong", or if it was others' treatment of you that led to this? If you're a core 4, you should have very early memories of touching upon this. Speaking for myself, I believe that 4 is my secondary fix for these reasons. Strongly relate, but others had to activate these feelings.

The only thing I don't relate to is 4's aversion to conflict,but maybe that's just because of my tritype.
Who says 4s are conflict averse?

Now for 6.I relate to 6's need to face their fears;I have to come to suspect that I have a bit of social anxiety,people have always made me extremely nervous and I really detest talking to strangers.Once more,going back to my younger days,I used to go to great lengths to avoid having to interact with people(ie. skipping school,ditching class)for fear that they would notice my anxiety,therefore I would run away from my fears.As I have grown,I've learned to enjoy pushing myself to do things I am afraid of such as interacting with people when necessary,I've learned to hide my anxiety mildly well,and appear relatively at ease,although I still haven't figured out how to stop myself from blushing when someone catches me off-guard,haha.All in all,I like pushing myself to do things I don't want to/am afraid of,I see them as a challenge or a chance to improve myself.
However,I do not relate to 6's loyalist,rule abiding nature,but that may be because I'm an Sx first?I also do not relate to it's disintegration point for certain,and I'm pretty sure I don't relate to it's integration point very well either.
Based on this, I don't see much evidence for 6 at all. Sixes don't just walk around as a ball of anxiety or anything--any type can do that. Especially social anxiety--MANY people experience this. What 6s experience is existential anxiety--the sense that life is insecure and things can always go wrong. Hence, they tend to walk around in that frame of mind. If you find that that sort of realism is big in your life, you may be a core 6.

Also, yeah, not all 6s are mind-cloned "loyalists"--some are rebellious and seek to stir the pot rather than follow along. So, it may help you to determine how much you engage in that as well.

A good question to help determine the difference would be--What is your relationship with your emotions?
 
W

WhoCares

Guest
Interesting...yes I've heard that,I think it's especially applicable towards Sx 6's,as I've heard they are the most rebellious 6(*hopes rising*).
Although I actually,naturally have a mistrust/lack of respect for authority,I always assume power to bring out the worst in others.:dry:
Overall,I've never been inclined to trust my elders/authority figures,they're all human,and all humans are corrupt/capable of corruption.

I've got a 6 wing and I'm sx dom. I dont love rules because I trust authority or am loyal. I love rules because they define success and failure. Its the uncertainty in not knowing how to succeed that gets my 6 anxious. Luckily pedantic rules make that job easy for me and soothe anxiety. But I dont trust authority, in fact I mistrust it because it can be capricious and random in what it wants and what it punishes. Clearly defined rules help to manage that capriciousness for me. Just some insight into the motivation behind the behaviour.

I also like to undermine authority but I have to do it while flying under the radar because I dont trust myself to get away with any kind of overt challenge.
 
N

ndovjtjcaqidthi

Guest
You seem like a four to me.

By the way, I see you're still undecided about your MBTI type, why?
 
L

LadyLazarus

Guest
You seem like a four to me.

By the way, I see you're still undecided about your MBTI type, why?

Well,it's actually kind of the same reason I was unsure that I was a four...do I want to be an N just to be rare or am I really an N?Once again,I want to know what I really am.
Also,I know someone who I'm pretty sure is an INFP,and she's my literal opposite...so I have no idea anymore.
 
N

ndovjtjcaqidthi

Guest
Well,it's actually kind of the same reason I was unsure that I was a four...do I want to be an N just to be rare or am I really an N?Once again,I want to know what I really am.
Also,I know someone who I'm pretty sure is an INFP,and she's my literal opposite...so I have no idea anymore.

Which functions do you think you use?
 
L

LadyLazarus

Guest
This sounds like a core 4 issue to me, though I'm wondering if you've ALWAYS had the perception of being different and "wrong", or if it was others' treatment of you that led to this? If you're a core 4, you should have very early memories of touching upon this. Speaking for myself, I believe that 4 is my secondary fix for these reasons. Strongly relate, but others had to activate these feelings.


Who says 4s are conflict averse?


Based on this, I don't see much evidence for 6 at all. Sixes don't just walk around as a ball of anxiety or anything--any type can do that. Especially social anxiety--MANY people experience this. What 6s experience is existential anxiety--the sense that life is insecure and things can always go wrong. Hence, they tend to walk around in that frame of mind. If you find that that sort of realism is big in your life, you may be a core 6.

Also, yeah, not all 6s are mind-cloned "loyalists"--some are rebellious and seek to stir the pot rather than follow along. So, it may help you to determine how much you engage in that as well.

A good question to help determine the difference would be--What is your relationship with your emotions?

I've always had these feelings,from a very young age I've felt like there was something fundamentally wrong with me,it actually had nothing to do with how others treated me,in fact I've always believed I've brought all the bullying and teasing that's happened in my life upon myself,I didn't know how to cope with my strangeness, so I let it all seep through the cracks,and of course then everyone noticed how easy of a target I was after that. I've noticed now that I keep my distance and hide my self-pity from others,people have left me alone.

I read that in some description of them.

My relationship with my emotions,is very good I believe;I always know what I am feeling,I embrace them,and I am very good about expressing them.All in all,I think I have a pretty healthy relationship with my emotions,I've always been able to understand them very well,I'm always aware of them, and feel them very deeply.Although the latter has caused me a lot of distress.
 

Galena

Silver and Lead
Joined
Mar 12, 2013
Messages
3,786
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Fi,I am very certain about that one.
The problem is I am not sure whether I use Ne or Se.
There is a similar conversation going on about Ni and Si. While these functions are ultimately distinct, I think there must be a lot of overlap on the most fundamental level. Extraverted perception is extraverted perception.
 
N

ndovjtjcaqidthi

Guest
I think you're an INFP, I'm going by your socionics type.

Fi + Ne.
 
L

LadyLazarus

Guest
I think you're an INFP, I'm going by your socionics type.

Fi + Ne.

Thank you for your input.
I am leaning towards INFP,I think I may just have a moderately low level of Ne or something.
In retrospect,I don't think I use Se too much I just sort of relate to the aggressiveness and reactivity associated with it,but I suspect that may once again just be my tritype.
 
L

LadyLazarus

Guest
There is a similar conversation going on about Ni and Si. While these functions are ultimately distinct, I think there must be a lot of overlap on the most fundamental level. Extraverted perception is extraverted perception.

Yes,for example,I could see how Ni and Si might give someone a similarly cautious nature.While I feel Ne and Se might make for someone a bit more rash.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
What exactly do you mean by defense?

Well, 6's anxiety comes from the perception that the world is dangerous to the self. So, an unaware e6 is on an eternal quest to protect themself against the ever-arising dangers of the external world. It will manifest in defensive thinking and behaviors.

It's clearest when comparing the responses of a 6 to, say, a 9. For example, I have an ENFP 9 (self-typed) friend at work. Not too long ago we both got really screwed on the scheduling. When she saw it, she complained a bit in private to me, but for the most part she just went about her life. She used the week to get extra money babysitting and spent time hanging out with her family. When I saw it, my immediate internal reaction was to panic, wonder how I'd pay my bills, think about how the management structure was stupid and corrupt, begin looking at who I could switch times with, etc.

The reaction of a 6 is to immediately engage a copious amount of their energy - to "stress" - and to analyze and analyze for solutions, both long-term and short-term. Obviously this can have its upsides and downsides - 6s do make very good safety checkers and troubleshooters - but internally, for the 6, it's a miserable rollercoaster of fear and panic and security until the 6 realizes (perhaps through the Enneagram) that seeing things as a threat is an option and not a given.

I don't know if it's quite so much that 6s "want help from others" that we seek support over not caring about the opinions of others. We like to know all the information we can get, including what others' opinions are, so that we can decide well. (Rules are the same - 6s want to know the rules, and the exact consequences of breaking them, though we may or may not decide to do so. It may seem to an outsider that the 6 is rule-bound because they focus on the rules, but that doesn't mean they always follow them). We get hung up on decisions because we don't trust our selves, and so the more people externally showing support, the better we feel about our decisions - at least on the surface. Nagging fears remain below. 6s do have fear of abandonment - we fear everything turned against us.

Sanjuro said:
What 6s experience is existential anxiety--the sense that life is insecure and things can always go wrong. Hence, they tend to walk around in that frame of mind.

Yes, exactly. 6s lack trust in personal, internal stability, and so we seek it everywhere else - but can find it nowhere, because we're not stabilized within ourselves. We don't trust ourselves to know it when we see it.
 
N

ndovjtjcaqidthi

Guest
What 6s experience is existential anxiety--the sense that life is insecure and things can always go wrong. Hence, they tend to walk around in that frame of mind.

Oh man, this is the story of my life.

Thanks.
 

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
Alright,so I'm starting to question whether I'm really a four or if I just want to be a four,because I want to be special and misunderstood or whatever.

I usually test as a 4w5,but that doesn't tell me much as I understand online tests are inaccurate,I fear I may just be lying to myself sub-consciously or something,or maybe I really have no idea who I am.Either way,I want to know which one I am,as the enneagram is a tool for self discovery and growth,and possibly lying to myself just defeats the purpose of it all.

Anyways,weird rant aside,I am pretty confident my tritype is some variant of 4-6-8,with the eight in last.

That being said,I relate to both 4 and 6 pretty well.

In regards to 4 I relate to their feelings of shame,of being defective,their romanticism,being aware of their own emotions,as well as their integration and disintegration points.When I was younger I always felt that I wasn't like my peers,like I was fucked up in some way that made me awkward,and inept in comparison.I think this was due to my being very sensitive from an early age,in tandem with being rejected by certain people early on,I've never truly been able to get over/cope with that.Whereas before I felt I was defective,now I have come to accept myself for what I am,and understand that there's nothing wrong with me,it's just the way I am.

The only thing I don't relate to is 4's aversion to conflict,but maybe that's just because of my tritype.

Now for 6.I relate to 6's need to face their fears;I have to come to suspect that I have a bit of social anxiety,people have always made me extremely nervous and I really detest talking to strangers.Once more,going back to my younger days,I used to go to great lengths to avoid having to interact with people(ie. skipping school,ditching class)for fear that they would notice my anxiety,therefore I would run away from my fears.As I have grown,I've learned to enjoy pushing myself to do things I am afraid of such as interacting with people when necessary,I've learned to hide my anxiety mildly well,and appear relatively at ease,although I still haven't figured out how to stop myself from blushing when someone catches me off-guard,haha.All in all,I like pushing myself to do things I don't want to/am afraid of,I see them as a challenge or a chance to improve myself.
However,I do not relate to 6's loyalist,rule abiding nature,but that may be because I'm an Sx first?I also do not relate to it's disintegration point for certain,and I'm pretty sure I don't relate to it's integration point very well either.


I apologize for my rambling,and would appreciate anyone's input on which one they think I am,based on this of course.


Okay...something is way off here haha. And I wanted so badly to be able to wait until the answer came to me but apparently that exists outside the realm of what is possible for me in this situation. And so, hi tsunderes.

I've never known a conflict avoidant 4. I mean, this goes equally for the NFJ e4s really but concerning the IFPs? It's like taking Fi...and then multiplying that by Fi...to create an enormous force of pure, unadulterated self-righteousness Fi. In my experience, if a IFP e4 is avoiding a conflict it is due solely to introversion and feeling drained and not out of any true attachment to harmonious outcomes, etc. Maybe that's your understanding as well? Or perhaps I've completely missed the mark on this one?

Phobic e6s otoh will make nice in order to preserve the peace. Or I should say that that is their intent...they will avoid conflict in an effort to maintain personal/group harmony and/or 'safety'...often times causing more harm with their passive aggression than had they just confronted the issues head-on. Counterphobic e6s are most often mistyped (I primarily see 4w5, 5w6 and 8w7 as being the alternative for these individuals)...because they are completely unable to locate themselves in the e6 descriptions and rightly so. e6cps are not conflict avoidant. Likewise, if they withdraw from a conflict...it is because they chose too haha. People may disagree with me here as I understand it doesn't always look this way from the outside...but cps throw themselves into the center of the fire in an effort to protect and defend others. <-not saying they're incapable of being selfish assholes...but all 6s and 6 wings share a consciousness of right, wrong, family, tribe, underdog, power, enemy, threat... it's merely how they conduct themselves in light of these things that varies...like individual grains of sand on a beach (<-not that bad.)

If you are an accurately typed Intuitive Feeler...you will relate to e4, period. If you are an accurately typed IFP...you will often times seem e4 to others even when this is not the case. ENFP 7s, specifically sexual 7s, often believe they are 4w5s. *Aesthetically aware* INFJs often mistype as 4w5 when they are actually 6w5s (I'm sure I'm bias but I prefer the aesthetics of 6w5 NFJs tbh.) IFP mistypes though... in my observation I see this more between e4 and e9. I think the fact you indicated you don't relate to 3 or 9 is somewhat telling. But in the end you need to take [MENTION=10984]Azure Flame[/MENTION] 's advice and abandon the descriptions (omg especially when e6 is in-play.) Look only at the fears. Meditate on that.

What are you though? haha I'm curious because I can't necessarily tell. I can tell you this however,...you do not have 6w7 (are you trying to decide between 4w5 & 6w7? no...right?) and/or 8w7 in your tritype. I was wondering how you decided on these?

Still, whatever the case is...you have an enchanting personality and it's nice to have you here.

post script edit...that Confucius quote screams 6w5 w/slight cp tenancies haha.
 
L

LadyLazarus

Guest
[MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION]

Hello to you as well,

What do you mean by that?

Haha yes,I am very self righteous,it's fine I am aware of it.I think maybe Fe is more inclined towards being conflict adverse?

Yes,that it pretty close to what I understood about e4 working in tandem with IFP.

About the passive aggressive nature of six;I must say I do not relate,I am very straight forward in my aggression,I don't like to play games or beat around the bush just because social niceties dictate so,I'd rather face the conflict head on in order to resolve it,even if it means forfeiting harmony within the group.All in all I have no patience for that sort of thing.

So in that case I could very much see Cp6 in that respect.

I am not sure about the intuitive part,but otherwise yes,I am fairly certain I am an IFP. Yes I will look into the fears,I think it is my best bet for discerning between the two.

I'm sorry what do you mean what am I?My enneagram?My MBTI?Haha you and me both...
Wait,what I don't?(!)Why do you say that?what do you think I have instead then?I decided on 6w7 because I did not relate to descriptions of the 6w5 at all (too uptight) and I related to 8's fear of appearing weak,but did not relate to the "sleeping bear" nature of 8w9's.

So, yes,please elaborate.I am suddenly very curious...


Thank you.

That it does.

Yes,I am trying to decide between 4w5 and 6w7,I do not see myself as a 6w5.
 

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
[MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION]

Hello to you as well,

Haha yes,I am very self righteous,it's fine I am aware of it.I think maybe Fe is more inclined towards being conflict adverse?

Yes,that it pretty close to what I understood about e4 working in tandem with IFP.

About the passive aggressive nature of six;I must say I do not relate,I am very straight forward in my aggression,I don't like to play games or beat around the bush just because social niceties dictate so,I'd rather face the conflict head on in order to resolve it,even if it means forfeiting harmony within the group.All in all I have no patience for that sort of thing.

So in that case I could very much see Cp6 in that respect.

I am not sure about the intuitive part,but otherwise yes,I am fairly certain I am an IFP. Yes I will look into the fears,I think it is my best bet for discerning between the two.

I'm sorry what do you mean what am I?My enneagram?My MBTI?Haha you and me both...
Wait,what I don't?(!)Why do you say that?what do you think I have instead then?I decided on 6w7 because I did not relate to descriptions of the 6w5 at all (too uptight) and I related to 8's fear of appearing weak,but did not relate to the "sleeping bear" nature of 8w9's.

So, yes,please elaborate.I am suddenly very curious...


Thank you.

That it does.

Yes,I am trying to decide between 4w5 and 6w7,I do not see myself as a 6w5.

Hello again tsu..(okay I'm typing on a tiny screen atm so please forgive me with regards to the spelling of your user name. I'm trying to catch you while you're still online...and will respond to the rest of your post in a bit...)

Why would you relate to the 5 in 4w5...but not the 5 in 6w5? Are you basing this off the descriptions alone?
 
L

LadyLazarus

Guest
Hello again tsu..(okay I'm typing on a tiny screen atm so please forgive me with regards to the spelling of your user name. I'm trying to catch you while you're still online...and will respond to the rest of your post in a bit...)

Why would you relate to the 5 in 4w5...but not the 5 in 6w5? Are you basing this off the descriptions alone?

It's fine.

Yes,I am basing it off the descriptions alone.I assume this is incorrect.
 

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
It's fine.

Yes,I am basing it off the descriptions alone.I assume this is incorrect.

Well, not entirely...descriptions certainly have their place haha. The problem with enneagram though (what sets it apart from other theories)...is you are dealing with thing you are working very hard to keep hidden from yourself. In this way...it is often the description that you have an initial adverse reaction to...the type you are quite certain you're not...that is who you are. Typing by description isn't the way to go about it as far as I'm concerned...but I will say in the same breath that I'm a little more radical (?) in my thinking I guess.

Do you test as INFP? Are you pretty balanced along function lines? (I actually didn't notice self-righteousness from you...which when considering your specific case would point away from e4 in my mind.)
 
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LadyLazarus

Guest
Well, not entirely...descriptions certainly have their place haha. The problem with enneagram though (what sets it apart from other theories)...is you are dealing with thing you are working very hard to keep hidden from yourself. In this way...it is often the description that you have an initial adverse reaction to...the type you are quite certain you're not...that is who you are. Typing by description isn't the way to go about it as far as I'm concerned...but I will say in the same breath that I'm a little more radical (?) in my thinking I guess.

Do you test as INFP? Are you pretty balanced along function lines? (I actually didn't notice self-righteousness from you...which when considering in your specific case would point away from e4 in my mind.

Yes,you make a compelling point there.

I usually test INTP most often,but I sometimes do test INFP.I don't think so,as I have a strong preference for Fi(therefore a poor preference for Fe),a moderate preference for Ne over Se,Poor Si,Poor Ni,Mild Ti,and Poor Te.

I don't think it was very apparent in this particular thread but in some others as well as internally I am.
 
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