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Unsure of Enneagram Type

Ghost

Megustalations
Joined
Jul 10, 2013
Messages
1,042
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
This was a long questionnaire. Or maybe my answers were long. Sorry. Skipped the last two, but could do them if needed.

0. What's making you unsure of your type? What research have you already done to determine type?

The enneagram is more difficult for me to grasp than MBTI. I think I’m a Type Four, but I’m not so sure anymore. I considered Six for a brief spell but went back to Four because it was close enough. I started looking into enneagram again and read four books on it. I test as Five more than any other type. Whether or not tritypes are legit, the Researcher (145) archetype fits me very well. Sp/sx is likely my instinct stacking. Whatever type I am, I’m undoubtedly an unhealthy version. Major depression and general anxiety skew my perceptions, and I’ve also become a bit of a recluse.

1. Establish a "baseline mood"--when you're at home with nothing to do, where are you at mentally and emotionally? What do you notice in yourself? (Note, this is not a mood you inhabit "frequently", but your psychological baseline).

I experience minor annoyances and mild amusement, neither of which last long, over things I encounter throughout my day. Mentally, I’m mostly spaced out or fuzzy with slow, incoherent half-thoughts blending into each other until an idea sparks my imagination and there’s a burst of activity around that. That doesn’t last long, either, except when the concept needs to be unraveled or broadened, and then it becomes hard to shift gears unless a more interesting idea appears.

2. Describe yourself--
a. What's it like to be you?


It’s kind of boring. Sometimes, I feel like I’m on the verge of something significant. I feel like a half-finished person. Nothing much happens. I’m not a doer.

b. What have others said about you?

Throughout my school life, my teachers considered me smart. Some of my peers thought I was stuck-up. My friends thought I was funny. My family thinks I’m sensitive. My mom says I’m a dreamer.

c. What do you think of yourself?

Too much ambition, a little potential, no follow-through.

3. What are the issues you've dealt with in life? List some recurrent themes, and tell us a little about each one.

Pressure and expectations tend to be my undoing. Looking back on the times I failed, it always involved buckling under others’ high expectations or the pressure to figure things out quickly. It’s still frustrating to me because things would go well but there’d be a little snag, the niggling sense that I had to do better or match some notion of potential. I wasn’t aware of the anxiety during those times, but it’s clear now. I don’t know how that stuff got to me.

I’m plagued by doubt about choices yet to be made and I delay choosing even though the right options are before me. It’s like there’s something fundamentally broken or missing in me, a major fault or blindspot. If I can find it and figure it out, then I can compensate and it won’t hinder me anymore.

4. You're not good at everything--
a. What personality traits and/or ways of being are impossible for you to adopt?


Ruthlessness, moderation, strictness, self-sacrifice, a careless attitude toward my work, or duplicity.

b. What are qualities you'd like to have, but can't seem to develop?

Assertiveness, consideration for others, resolve, reliability, a quick wit, and a cheerful attitude.

5. Why have you left friends and other relationships in the past and/or why have they left you?

I lose contact with people and consider getting in touch with them, but it never feels like the timing is good enough. More time passes and it becomes more awkward to contact them. Before I know it, years have passed. Initiating contact is very difficult for me, so I rarely do it.

6. Which types do you identify with most?

Type Four and Type Five. The stereotypes seem like Fours are lost in a stormy ocean of feelings while Fives wouldn’t know what to do with an emotion if one happened to them. One is too emotional, and the other is not emotional enough.

I relate better to the Five’s core fears, but the profiles often mention objectivity and less acknowledgement of emotions. That’s not me at all. I do need to withdraw to process and sift through emotions. Expressing emotion or dealing with strong emotions (my own or others’) is challenging for me. Still, they're important to me.

I relate a little better to Four profiles if I don’t look too closely. The artistic aspects and the connection to emotion resonate with me. If I’d typed myself as a teenager, it would’ve been Four, without a doubt. The concerns I had about my place in the world, who I am, and who that person is in relation to others—that stuff made sense back then. It’s not on my radar now. Do Fours outgrow envy and concerns about their individuality when they’re no longer teenagers?

a. How do you relate to these types?

Four – Drawn to creative expression of complicated feelings and authenticity; strong sense of self; introspection; subjective; artistic; focus on aesthetics; sensitive; low self-esteem; feeling flawed; shame; self-absorption; escape to fantasies; difficulty in groups

Five – Sense that the world overwhelms or encroaches on me; need for privacy; stinginess with time, personal space, and ideas; withdrawing to process emotions; compartmentalizing types of relationships; noninvolvement; difficulty forming commitments; strong personal boundaries; desire for clarity; feeling socially inept; disinclined to ask for help

b. How do you NOT relate to them?

Four – Romanticizing darkness and tragedy; envy and resentment; amplifying emotions; drama; disdain for the ordinary; blaming the world for my problems; feeling abandoned; need to assert individuality in most contexts; viewing my life as tragic or seeing myself as a victim; cultivating an image of myself and seeing that as my real self; disintegration to Two

Five – Objectivity; minimalism; cerebral/intellectual; independence; self-reliance; preferring facts over feelings; feeling disconnected from my body; calm in a crisis


7. Which types are least like you?
a. Why specifically do you not relate to these types?


One, Two, Three, and Eight are least like me. I don’t relate to One because I’m not disciplined, hard-working, responsible, or disapproving of others. For Two, not as helpful, generous, accommodating, oriented toward others, or inclined to feel owed. For Three, not as efficient, optimistic, motivated, driven, desirous of admiration, and my self isn’t obscured by my self-image. For Eight, not as courageous, confident, extreme, or interested in power.

b. What points (if any) DO you relate to?

I relate to One’s high standards, a bit of the perfectionism, and the desire to be good. For Two, feeling vulnerable. For Three, I relate to the desire to be successful and the best at what I do. I’m enamored with the idea of winning awards for my writing, although that isn’t be a driving motivation. For Eight, I don’t like when others try to set limitations on me or on what can be done. My instinct is to buck that.

8. They claim enneagram type is a hidden love need. What are your attitudes toward finding love?

It’s not happening any time this decade. In order to open up to someone, I’d have to feel close to them and in order to feel close to them, I’d have to open up. It’s circular and bizarre, and I don’t know a way around it. If I loved someone, I think my weaknesses would be exposed. My seclusion means there’s not much of an opportunity for that, anyway.

10. Which of the following ideals resonate with you the most, and why? Rank them.

- to be sensitive, original, unique, and creative

I don’t know about sensitive, and, in a way, everyone’s unique…but I’d really like to create original works of fiction, music, and other art forms. I don’t want to _be_ original but create original stories. If one leads to the other, then sure. Being creative is pretty much the only good thing I’ve got going right now.

- to be knowledgeable

Encountering new information is vital to me. (I'm not sure that's the same as wanting to be knowledgeable.) I try to understand the world, and scraps of trivia become the kindling for my creative impulses. I love when I’m learning something new, and the knowledge I already have is relevant and helps me build a clearer picture of the topic. It makes me wistful that I can’t read every book.

- to strive to become/behave like a good person

I'd like to be a good person, but I don't do much striving toward it. ;)

- to be accomplished and successful
- to be "okay", having it together
- to be devoted and loyal to a person or cause
- to be loving and benevolent
- to be powerful, strong, unassailable.
- to be a loveable person
 
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21%

You have a choice!
Joined
May 15, 2009
Messages
3,224
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
I'm very certain I'm a 4w5 and I experience all that 4-ness -- the jealousy, the dark moods, the urge to jump off tall buildings on a stormy night. When I first read the Enneagram descriptions, the Type Four one was really painful for me to read because it struck too close to home. I have a calm and collected 'happy' front though, but deep down I just knew I was a 4 the moment I read it.

Enneagram types seem a bit 'less pronounced' now that I'm no longer in my early twenties, but the same core is still there -- I just know how to handle it better. I am very certain of my own uniqueness though. Everyone is unique, yes, but I can still taste and relish my own sense of self in a very selfish, immature way.

I'd guess 5w4 for you?
 

Ghost

Megustalations
Joined
Jul 10, 2013
Messages
1,042
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Thank you, 21%. Four feels comfortable to me. I can't tell if it's because I've seen those profiles often or if it's because Four feels safer. Five seemed unlike me until I made connections with how I've acted in the past. Those realizations make me uneasy, and they're causing me to second guess my type.

If anyone wants to recommend a type other than Four or Five, that's cool, too.
 

Ghost

Megustalations
Joined
Jul 10, 2013
Messages
1,042
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Resurrecting this for the hell of it. I've gotten suggestions for Type 9 and Type 4 lately. I just want to have a record of my exploration of other types.

I'm not sure how much of the original post still applies, but whatever. I suppose the title is a bit misleading at this point because I'm relatively sure of Type 5, but being relatively sure isn't the same as being sure-sure, if you know what I mean. I just don't feel like making a separate thread. It's cleaner if it's all in one place.

Sure - though I am a lil' curious, what're your thoughts on 9w1 as a core? Could easily see it as coming in close as a fix.

Would also guess sp/so.

While it's possible, I personally don't see it as likely. I'm conflict-avoidant, but I intentionally do lots of things to get bothered. Like, if an idea disturbs me I might dig at it to see what comes of it. I don't feel peaceful or peace-seeking. I'm generally not cooperative. I'm ambitious (but lazy!), and the idea of just getting by is a little repulsive to me. If I care about something, it's not enough to do an adequate job or let others take control. I'm also very pushy with people I care about.

I don't understand merging or not being able to set boundaries. Setting boundaries and compartmentalizing is innate for me. Not having preferences or downplaying them is also weird. There are times when I'm too vocal about my preferences, actually, even when it shouldn't matter. I don't have difficulty understanding myself or my identity. The latter gave me problems when I typed as a 4 because I just can't care that much about my identity. I'm me. That's all. I do have difficulty seeing how I am and what I'm like from the outside. Reconciling who I think I am, who others think I am, what I actually do, and what I'm capable of is of interest to me. I like knowing about gaps between those things and applying that understanding to others and to my fictional characters.

A lot of that could be—and probably is—a misunderstanding of type 9, but on the whole it doesn't seem to fit. I have read about 5 and 9 misidentifications. I relate to 9s on the forum less than other types. INFP 9s feel like they think or prioritize differently from me. I can't quite explain it yet. INFP 5s, 4s, and 6s are easier for me to grasp. 1s and 7s make sense to me, too. I can wrap my head around 8s even if I'm not like them. I'd like to know more about people perceiving me as 9 since it's not easily fathomable to me. It's certainly a type I know little about apart from stock phrases and stereotypes.

It does seem like I'm more optimistic and less concise compared to other 5s. I also think there's a vagueness to me that fits with 9. Terms brought up in 9 profiles, such as indolence, anhedonia, and brain fog, define a good span of my life. I can't tell if that's depression talking or if it signifies more.

A couple of people have told me I vibe as a positive-outlook type. I can sort of see where that's coming from, but I still need more info if anyone's up for it.

Responses don't have to be about 9, of course. That type is easier for me to weed out than 4 or 6. Would be interested to hear from people who lean toward those or any other type.

Oh, and stuff about instincts and tritype is welcome, too.
 

Ghost

Megustalations
Joined
Jul 10, 2013
Messages
1,042
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
BTW, no one has to read all that. It's mostly filler.


kate-snail-blog.jpg



Any opinions are welcome. Unless your opinion isn't about my enneagram, in which case you can fuck off to one of the thousands of threads that aren't about me.

So even if it's just an impression, that's cool. It's more awesome if you have an explanation, though.
 

Punderstorm

Wallflower power!
Joined
Mar 14, 2016
Messages
736
MBTI Type
INxP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Erm, I'm not very good with enneagram but I'll try. I think you're a 4w5, I notice you've got 4w3 as your enneatype but you've also clearly stated that you can't really identify with it. 4w5s are pretty withdrawn and you vibe more 5 than 3. All in all, you're still a core 4, atleast in my view.
 

Hawthorne

corona
Joined
Jan 8, 2015
Messages
1,946
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
questionnaire and follow up to 21 makes me think self-pres 4. could see either wing. probably 5 though since it seems like your "deficit" lies more along the lines of 8 instead of 6.

you sound too masochistic to me for 9 core. and not the disintegrated to 6 kind of masochism.
 

Ghost

Megustalations
Joined
Jul 10, 2013
Messages
1,042
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Erm, I'm not very good with enneagram but I'll try

Thanks!

I notice you've got 4w3 as your enneatype but you've also clearly stated that you can't really identify with it.

Yeah, it's kind of a joke. I decided to list 4w3. While I'm at it I might as well change my listed MBTI type. Since I'm doing all that, the avatar, user title, and signature must go, too.

I am curious about whether that alters how people perceive me, but I had no way of knowing how I was perceived in the first place except that people got 4 and 9 vibes.

This is just the first round. Next time, I'm thinking ISTP 9.

you sound too masochistic to me for 9 core. and not the disintegrated to 6 kind of masochism.

Too masochistic? Could you explain that more for me?
 

Hawthorne

corona
Joined
Jan 8, 2015
Messages
1,946
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
i got a "self-constructed obstacles" vibe from some of your responses in the questionnaire as well as some of the things you say in vent. only i'm not sure how much of that is joking.

"This is hard for me/outside of my mode/i don't do that/i'm afraid of that" sorts of imposed limitations that i associated with 1s, 4s, and 6s. except i'm doubtful of you being 1 core and you seem more withdrawn to me than reactive. on the forum at least.

An awareness of wants and cravings but some invisible barrier, possibly psychological, that is causing them to be waved away as "just character deficits". Probably less masochistic and more self-devaluing. I think there's a better word I'm not in a state to be careful with anything atm.

gut is either 1w9 or 9w1. 5 head going either way. 4 core probably with w5. unless you were joking about the private conversation thing then probably sx-last.

i should probably wait until i'm feeling less fuzzy before getting into details. forgive mee[SUP]ee[SUP]ee[SUP]e[/SUP][/SUP][/SUP]
 

Ghost

Megustalations
Joined
Jul 10, 2013
Messages
1,042
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
i should probably wait until i'm feeling less fuzzy before getting into details. forgive mee[SUP]ee[SUP]ee[SUP]e[/SUP][/SUP][/SUP]

No, this is really cool. Thanks!
 

Galena

Silver and Lead
Joined
Mar 12, 2013
Messages
3,786
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I was going to say "you remind me of a user named Ghost who types as a 5w4". Then I noticed something important that made me hesitate.
 

Ghost

Megustalations
Joined
Jul 10, 2013
Messages
1,042
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
[MENTION=17945]Nixie[/MENTION]

That's awesome. :laugh:
 
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