What's my type? (Socionics)

[valaki]

I need to specify a few things first lol. Last night I was explaining this on my phone. Now that I'm at a laptop I can really explain.

Going back to the previous question about empathy I said that I don't feel what others are feeling, but I do know and care about it. What makes me say that is that sometimes I will utterly disregard other people's feelings outwardly, but inwardly I'm still aware of how they may be feeling. I'm hesitant to say that I'm an empathetic person because, despite the fact I that I can't be outright malicious toward someone, I am very adept (unfortunately) and being passively malicious without a second thought.

A common trend in my life is me being nice and friendly to people that I utterly despise out of fear of other people. Even if I don't really care as to how they feel, I still put up a facade of politeness. The issue with that is that over time, that polite mask disappears and I become extremely sarcastic, mean spirited, and irritable with people, which makes me think that connecting with others isn't something that I'm necessarily adept at. Sometimes I don't even bother trying to be polite, and I just come off as cold and indifferent. I care very much about other people's opinions of me, but at the end of the day those feelings still go back to me. I approach other people through a position of fear and mistrust.

I thought for a while that I had Fe as a creative, but my ability to connect with other people and take their feelings into consideration is extremely unstable. What's more is that at the end of the day I feel threatened by other people, which is why I try not to offend anyone outwardly.

As for my own feelings, no one really knows until it's too late, even myself. Even simple preferences like my opinion, I keep to myself. You asked for an example;

I few days ago a friend of mine was doing something that was deeply offensive to me, and I kept telling them to stop doing it. I thought that by hearing me tell them to stop that they'd somehow figure out that they were upsetting me. It didn't happen and I had to literally spell out to them how they upset me, and even when I did that it was in a pretty unemotional manner...my tone didn't even change. That's why I also find difficulty with people taking me seriously; I never really change my tone, so when I'm upset no one can tell, unless I get loud or something. This dips into my romantic life as well....I'll explain to a person that I like them, but I do it in a such a dry and sometimes verbose manner that they just don't seem to get it.

When it comes to Se feeling off putting, that goes back to myself feeling threatened by other people. When someone is assertive, it makes me think that they'll run over other people to get what they want, which I see as threatening. Simultaneously and paradoxically, I'm attracted to assertive girls

OK well all that reeks of Fe PoLR and I see possible Se dual seeking

With some Fi concerns about Se stuff, so you seem gamma > beta

Have you read ILI profiles?

And yeah, you said some things before that paused me to consider Fe creative but... it just doesn't make sense, no. A neurotic PoLR makes more sense.

 

[valaki]

Just one thing, Socionics type doesn't necessarily correlate with MBTI type (saying that in response to your first post in this thread)

 

[sworm09]

Just one thing, Socionics type doesn't necessarily correlate with MBTI type (saying that in response to your first post in this thread)

Yup! I understand!

I relate pretty well to ILI and that profile's depiction of how Fe is used is almost exactly the same as how I feel in social situations

ILI seems to be what it is!

 

[valaki]

Yup! I understand!

I relate pretty well to ILI and that profile's depiction of how Fe is used is almost exactly the same as how I feel in social situations

ILI seems to be what it is!

Ooh glad if I could help

 

[á´…eparted]

Do you have a lot of fantasy worlds like OP does and are you able to focus so well on explaining/seeing trends?

Btw wow, 20%, that doesn't sound a lot lol, I recall different estimates, but still not too high numbers, sure.

I truly don't want to nitpick, did you mean OP doesn't value Se in that case? I think Se superid types would relate to it less, especially if there is only Se-DS which is like, really weak Se.

Guess you meant to use the word "assertive", not "aggressive". The latter word is not specific enough, has other meanings etc. It's sure subjective what people perceive as outright aggressive anyway... What you described wouldn't seem aggressive to me, just assertive. Maybe to more sensitive people *shrug*

I do have fantasy worlds, but they aren't on my mind much. So a lot? No. At most I'll jump into them when I am walking around by myself for a little while, and it's usually if I am upset. I use it as a tool to do some mental venting sometimes. As far as focus on seeing trends, not really. That sort of thing is intrinsic to me. If it comes to me then it does. I have a harder time articulating it, and usually need to mull it over in my head for a while before I can put it to words correctly.

Ok maybe 20% is a bit low, but either way people are too complex to fit perfectly into 16 boxes. Either way it doesn't capture the whole picture by any means. No worries on the nitpick. The OP seemed to assert that he/she didn't value Se by some remarks that they made, so it seemed that it wasn't a likely main process. I am not an expert on socionics though.

Yeah assertive would be a better way to describe it. I have had friends describe me as either once they get to know me. Largely because my aggressive/assertive sides are covert and it takes time before they're noticed. Partly because I don't want that to define me, and if they are seen readily it will render my methods of navigating life not nearly as functional .


Edit: Oh, seems this has been figured out for him/her, yay!

 

[valaki]

I do have fantasy worlds, but they aren't on my mind much. So a lot? No. At most I'll jump into them when I am walking around by myself for a little while, and it's usually if I am upset. I use it as a tool to do some mental venting sometimes. As far as focus on seeing trends, not really. That sort of thing is intrinsic to me. If it comes to me then it does. I have a harder time articulating it, and usually need to mull it over in my head for a while before I can put it to words correctly.

Ah. I'm kind of like you with regard to all these things fits Ni superid I think. I wonder how much stronger your Ni is compared to mine though.

Ok maybe 20% is a bit low, but either way people are too complex to fit perfectly into 16 boxes. Either way it doesn't capture the whole picture by any means. No worries on the nitpick. The OP seemed to assert that he/she didn't value Se by some remarks that they made, so it seemed that it wasn't a likely main process. I am not an expert on socionics though.

I guess we are on the same page. Yes I also didn't think Se was in ego for OP. I was asking about if you meant devalued vs valued but I see now what you meant.

Yeah assertive would be a better way to describe it. I have had friends describe me as either once they get to know me. Largely because my aggressive/assertive sides are covert and it takes time before they're noticed. Partly because I don't want that to define me, and if they are seen readily it will render my methods of navigating life not nearly as functional .

Ehmm why not so functional?

 

[valaki]

[MENTION=20180]sworm09[/MENTION]

So you sticking with ILI or LII? (I saw your posts in the other thread)

 

[sworm09]

I'm not entirely sure, I'm leaning toward LII because I used video to figure out type in that post.

 

[valaki]

I'm not entirely sure, I'm leaning toward LII because I used video to figure out type in that post.

Hmm so actually Fe-DS makes sense to you as in the description...?

Btw I had a really quick glimpse at that video and well maybe...

 

[sworm09]

Hmm so actually Fe-DS makes sense to you as in the description...?

Btw I had a really quick glimpse at that video and well maybe...

I'm not sure lol. Looking at the video what do you think?

 

[valaki]

I'm not sure lol. Looking at the video what do you think?

I didn't actually have time to properly watch it :/

What do you relate to/not relate to about Fe suggestive function?

 

[sworm09]

I didn't actually have time to properly watch it :/

What do you relate to/not relate to about Fe suggestive function?

Well I relate very strongly to appearing formal, cold, and rigid in social situations and I really like it when people attempt to make me feel like I'm a part of the group, but I'm quite upset when they don't. I'm sensitive to emotional approval/disapproval, lighting up when someone is being nice to me and getting a little sad when I'm ignored or insulted. I really love it when people display friendliness and I pay very close attention to people so I can determine if they approve/disapprove of me and my behaviors. Sometimes I find myself acting solely for other people, completely disregarding my own feelings.

With the description of Fe as the vulnerable function, I relate to forgoing group situations for more private connections. I prefer 1 on 1 interactions to groups. I'm quite reclusive and sometimes I find myself mentally telling people to "go away". I'm not really seen as harsh, but I am seen as negative and cold by people. I'm not quick to criticize other people.

 

[valaki]

Well I relate very strongly to appearing formal, cold, and rigid in social situations and I really like it when people attempt to make me feel like I'm a part of the group, but I'm quite upset when they don't. I'm sensitive to emotional approval/disapproval, lighting up when someone is being nice to me and getting a little sad when I'm ignored or insulted. I really love it when people display friendliness and I pay very close attention to people so I can determine if they approve/disapprove of me and my behaviors. Sometimes I find myself acting solely for other people, completely disregarding my own feelings.

Oh I thought you weren't so affected by Fe in a positive way, based on your previous descriptions in this thread. But this one does sound more Fe-DS. Somewhere you said you don't like loud environments, what was that though? (Can't recall right now where it was)

With the description of Fe as the vulnerable function, I relate to forgoing group situations for more private connections. I prefer 1 on 1 interactions to groups. I'm quite reclusive and sometimes I find myself mentally telling people to "go away". I'm not really seen as harsh, but I am seen as negative and cold by people. I'm not quick to criticize other people.

Well that's just introversion in general

 

[sworm09]

Oh I thought you weren't so affected by Fe in a positive way, based on your previous descriptions in this thread. But this one does sound more Fe-DS. Somewhere you said you don't like loud environments, what was that though? (Can't recall right now where it was)




Well that's just introversion in general

That's the thing about Fe that makes it difficult for me to choose one over the other. It's positive only in that I really enjoy positive feedback from others, other than those few times I actually get it, it's an overwhelming fear of other people and a feeling of powerlessness when it comes to trying to influence others or get positive reactions from them. I get really frustrated because sometimes I feel like I have absolutely zero emotional impact on people. Thus the few times when someone shows me a positive reaction, I really enjoy it.

I don't like loud environments for two reasons; sensory is the primary one, social would be second. When overloaded with loud sounds I get stressed out and tired. I become irritable and frustrated. Loud people have a similar influence on me, making me withdrawn and more rigid.

 

[valaki]

That's the thing about Fe that makes it difficult for me to choose one over the other. It's positive only in that I really enjoy positive feedback from others, other than those few times I actually get it, it's an overwhelming fear of other people and a feeling of powerlessness when it comes to trying to influence others or get positive reactions from them. I get really frustrated because sometimes I feel like I have absolutely zero emotional impact on people. Thus the few times when someone shows me a positive reaction, I really enjoy it.

So why do you try to influence others to get positive reactions? I'm not sure if suggestive function is this much active

I don't like loud environments for two reasons; sensory is the primary one, social would be second. When overloaded with loud sounds I get stressed out and tired. I become irritable and frustrated. Loud people have a similar influence on me, making me withdrawn and more rigid.

What kind of loud people? Fe types are pretty loud

 

[sworm09]

So why do you try to influence others to get positive reactions? I'm not sure if suggestive function is this much active




What kind of loud people? Fe types are pretty loud

I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm running around in circles trying to describe this, but that's a pretty accurate picture of how my Fe works...I don't quite know what I'm doing with it myself.

I can't say that I actually do take an active role in trying to get positive reactions...I just sort of expect it to happen. I'm usually too afraid to actually take steps to get positive reactions, so I just sort of wait for them in frustration, not understanding why other people respond to each other so positively.

An example of this is with a girl here on campus with me. I met her in class. I knew her for months, but took the fearful role of saying absolutely nothing around her and if I did say something, it was very minor and unemotional. There were times when I'd say nothing to her, not because I was ignoring her, but because I didn't know what to say to get the positive reactions from her that I wanted and I was afraid to try. It was literally the last week or so of that class when I WASN'T trying to get positive feelings from her that I actually did through my dry, sarcastic sense of humor.

After that I continue to take the passive role in displaying warmth and friendliness, though I (for what ever reason) expect her to be friendly to me while I'm displaying as little emotion as possible.

I never take the active role in displaying warmth, I always expect and hope for others to do it first...even with close friend. I'm pretty cold until I feel like I've been given the permission to be warm.

As for loud people, I don't really like aggressively loud people. People that feel like they need to make themselves heard out of self importance or immaturity.

 

[valaki]

I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm running around in circles trying to describe this, but that's a pretty accurate picture of how my Fe works...I don't quite know what I'm doing with it myself.

I can't say that I actually do take an active role in trying to get positive reactions...I just sort of expect it to happen. I'm usually too afraid to actually take steps to get positive reactions, so I just sort of wait for them in frustration, not understanding why other people respond to each other so positively.

An example of this is with a girl here on campus with me. I met her in class. I knew her for months, but took the fearful role of saying absolutely nothing around her and if I did say something, it was very minor and unemotional. There were times when I'd say nothing to her, not because I was ignoring her, but because I didn't know what to say to get the positive reactions from her that I wanted and I was afraid to try. It was literally the last week or so of that class when I WASN'T trying to get positive feelings from her that I actually did through my dry, sarcastic sense of humor.

After that I continue to take the passive role in displaying warmth and friendliness, though I (for what ever reason) expect her to be friendly to me while I'm displaying as little emotion as possible.

I never take the active role in displaying warmth, I always expect and hope for others to do it first...even with close friend. I'm pretty cold until I feel like I've been given the permission to be warm.

As for loud people, I don't really like aggressively loud people. People that feel like they need to make themselves heard out of self importance or immaturity.

Ok well that sounds Fe-DS-ish really.

What did you think about Se-DS vs Se-PoLR? (In ILI vs LII)

I guess it doesn't totally make sense to me with all that Ni-ish stuff

 

[sworm09]

Ok well that sounds Fe-DS-ish really.

What did you think about Se-DS vs Se-PoLR? (In ILI vs LII)

I guess it doesn't totally make sense to me with all that Ni-ish stuff

Both, but leaning more toward LII's Se.

I'm pretty inert and generally unmotivated to do anything but think and pursue the things that I'm interested in. I don't push people to do other things because I'm generally not driven enough to care. When I'm in a situation that requires me to be assertive, I avoid it (like in the LII description) because I find it very difficult and somewhat brutish to put pressure on people. I'm indecisive as all get up and I struggle to make decisions and being required to make a decision on an action will make me immediately avoidant. I'm not a spontaneous person any stretch of the imagination and spontaneous people generally annoy me.

My roommate is an Se lead and he annoys me to death. He's always being loud, or making noises, or generally doing things that don't make sense at all to me. If it doesn't have a reason I don't see the purpose of doing many things and I often find myself upset with him for not thinking about the consequences of his actions. Being told to "just do it" is probably in the top 10 ways to anger me.

 

[valaki]

Both, but leaning more toward LII's Se.

I'm pretty inert and generally unmotivated to do anything but think and pursue the things that I'm interested in. I don't push people to do other things because I'm generally not driven enough to care. When I'm in a situation that requires me to be assertive, I avoid it (like in the LII description) because I find it very difficult and somewhat brutish to put pressure on people. I'm indecisive as all get up and I struggle to make decisions and being required to make a decision on an action will make me immediately avoidant. I'm not a spontaneous person any stretch of the imagination and spontaneous people generally annoy me.

My roommate is an Se lead and he annoys me to death. He's always being loud, or making noises, or generally doing things that don't make sense at all to me. If it doesn't have a reason I don't see the purpose of doing many things and I often find myself upset with him for not thinking about the consequences of his actions. Being told to "just do it" is probably in the top 10 ways to anger me.

Oh that sounds more LII Se-PoLR, yep, this thing about "If it doesn't have a reason I don't see the purpose of doing many things" and also how you don't like spontaneity.

 

[sworm09]

Oh that sounds more LII Se-PoLR, yep, this thing about "If it doesn't have a reason I don't see the purpose of doing many things" and also how you don't like spontaneity.

Hmm LII it is then (though the whole Ni thing has me a little curious)