Am I a 3 or a 6?

[Stansmith]

These are two types that really hit me when I read descriptions, but I can't really decide between. I want to be secure in myself (E6) but I feel security through achievement (E3). I'm generally more confident in myself when I feel like I'm actively achieving, like say, having a job or moving a step closer to my goals (3), however I don't have the persistent drive and "can do" attitude of an E3 and often contemplate my next step for VERY lengthy periods (6). To put it lightly, I'm not a succesful person by anyone's standards, whereas I feel like an enneagram 3 would just naturally find themselves at a point of prosperity at 18 years old. I've only had one retail job! A typical 3 would have connections everywhere and be at an Ivy League college. On an added note, I've never excelled in school; I'm not necessarily happy about mediocre grades, but I'm not as driven to change that either.

Another point that I feel is important in figuring out which of the two types I am is how I experience integration and disintegration. In times of stress I feel a conflict between apathy, anxiety and productivity, and when I'm depressed, I'm generally much lazier than I usually have and abandon all of my ambitions or goals. I become more narcissitic and judgemental as well, and just completely disappear from my social life. When I'm in a healthy state, I tend to be looser and quite 7-ish. So in general I'd say healthiness = constant need for activity and lightheartess, while unhealthiness = compulsive apathy, narcissism and victimization.


So yeah, what vibes are you getting from me?

 

[Stansmith]

Although I admire and identify with the intensity and "I can do what I set my mind to" attitude of Michael Jordan or Tiger Woods (3s), I can't say I have their insanely consistent tunnel vision. I spend too much time smelling the flowers, more than I would like.