Confession of wandering mind

[deadship]

Right now I am thinking how to glue together the different parts of my personality, so I this "type me" thread would make some sense. I know the MBTI for an year now, but since the time I know it, I keep doubting my type. I only typed myself as INFP and ENFP, but I still have the feeling like this is not right. This is not really me. The problem is I fee like my personality has so many parts, that are in the contradiction, that it's not possible to type me. These are the contradictions... deep thinker, emotional, melancholical, gloomy, party loving, fun loving, friendly, careless, dreamy, critic, idealist, sarcastic... Who the hell is like that? My mind is forever wondering, asking and doubting little thing. I am never satisfied with one answer, or one simple explanation. Everytime on every little problem I have to ask why? Why do you think it's like this? Why does it work like this?... And I think this is the source of my confusion with the MBTI. The one answer is never enough, thousands of them are confusing. One look at one thing is never enough, I see everything from different angles. For me everything and everyone has a different sides and parts, that need to be discovered and understood. None is bad, none is good, none wasn't born nor bad nor good. Everything is relevant and hides the past that is the way of understanding the present. The true core of things I believe is often hidden. Does this make any sense? Because this is really how my mind works. It's sometimes so crazy to doubt everything and need to discover things... Sometimes my mind is a crazy bit of mess thanks to this. But I also believe it helps me to see the world with different eyes and to see and sense a lot of things, that not everyone can. But it is also a source of inner tension, that sometimes explodes to fights, or yelling at people. I tend to sometimes get so deep in one problem, that I lost the track about everything else around me. But I love to think like that, I love to use the imagination. But sometimes the doubting of my mind transforms into doubting of my emotions and feelings of chaos. . I sometimes feel overwhelmed with my thoughts and I sometimes feel emotionally insecure, sad. I tend to be very melancholical and gloomy. Even though I tend to think deep and feel like a melancholic often I have very childish nature. I can get excited about every stupid thing and of end up doing something really unmature. I hate responsibilities and usually I am very funloving person. Most of my friends know me as spontanous, party person, that doesn't care too much . I always laugh hard and create the most childish funny ideas. Also even though I am very idealstic I always look criticaly at things. I only believe what my mind tells me is right.

 

[WALMART]

I can almost certainly say ENFP, but INFP may be equally valid. An Enneagram 1 or 7, perhaps. Sx primary or auxilary.

 

[deadship]

I can almost certainly say ENFP, but INFP may be equally valid. An Enneagram 1 or 7, perhaps. Sx primary or auxilary.

Thanks for respond. So Ne, Fi after all? I was thinking if the way my mind works is really Ne. About the enneagram, I am really sure about being 4w3 sp/sx, but alot of things from 1 and 7 descriptions fit me pretty well. Can I ask you, where do you see the possible 1 in my enneagram? I heard they are often mistyped as 4s.