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PUZZLE ME OUT!!

KatharineML

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Hi there - I'm a puzzle - it's the introverted/extroverted part that confuses me, but I lose touch with the whole thing sometimes when I think too hard about it - and we're all so different in different circumstances, and inside our own head also!

I want someone to ask me some questions that get inside my own head in order to drag out the essence of me - in Myers Briggs terms - hopefully someone will know what I mean??!

Questions please :)

Big thanks!
 

Standuble

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I'm assuming that you know your N/S, T/F and P/J preference? Are you able to post it? In MBTI terms you can determine whether you are I or E by determining which of your two cognitive functions is used more dominantly than the other.

Thanks.
 

KatharineML

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Hi Standuble - ummm, yes, I think I know I am an N and an F. P or J is more difficult - I love routines (they are the only way I get anything done!) and finishing things is satisfying, though I do get excited about new things or streams of thought/ideas.
Does that help?
 
I

Infinite Bubble

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It is really more about your cognitive functions rather than the dichotomies that are merely used as shorthand. For example, someone may be a Judger but is messy and doesn't follow a routine etc. This works vice-versa with Perceivers as well.

A quick method to decide whether your intro/extroverted is to ask yourself if you replenish your energy by being with others or by yourself.

If you're an N, then being excited about new things/ideas would, at least on the surface, be somewhat in line with Ne.

Have you taken this test before? http://www.keys2cognition.com/explore.htm
 

KatharineML

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Hi Infinite Bubble :) Umm, yes, I've done that test I think. I come up high on lots of things so it's confusing. I can't remember exactly now, sorry. I think I'm definitely Ne rather than Ni, as predominantly Ni people are quite serious, it seems, and I am a bit, sort of sillier. Though I am not like an ENFP, I know so many of them, and they are far more verbally clever and popular/crazy than I am. Everyone likes me and I"m sociable and fun, but I'm not fun fun fun like ENFP's are. Do you know what I mean?
I have no idea how I am energised, to be honest. I can be energised by a marvelous thought, which can come from a conversation with a person, or something I have read, or my own musings and putting things together. It is neither with or without people, I don't think. I don't initiate social occasions, but I do enjoy them and 'light up' around people. I also love being on my own and having time to think and let things come together, or to explore something or somewhere. These times alone, wihtout anyone to be responsible for, do make me feel slightly high and excited, so I guess that's energising?
What do you think?
When I did my first test, during a very demanding period of my life, I came up ESTJ!! Then, later, I came up ENFJ. But I'm pretty sure I'm neither of these.
 

UniqueMixture

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You are in the desert and there is a box. Describe the box
 
W

WALMART

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When thinking, do you have fair reign over your thoughts, or are you often a runaway train?

How do you most frequently solve problems that arise?

What about the world troubles you most?

What is your interest in typology?

A lull falls on the group. How do you react?
 

KatharineML

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Gosh, I am in a desert and there is a box. It is just an ordinary box. Yet just it's being there is magical ...
 

KatharineML

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When thinking, do you have fair reign over your thoughts, or are you often a runaway train? Inbetween.

How do you most frequently solve problems that arise? Think about them at length - run them through everything I already know, base things I believe etc. see how they fit/don't fit. Decide what action fits best with what is most right.

What about the world troubles you most? Gosh. Well, troubles are okay, what troubles me is when people pretend there are no troubles, or that the troubles are meaningless.

What is your interest in typology? I like people and understanding them.

A lull falls on the group. How do you react? I think, gosh, what's going on here, it is a chance to get deeper. I may speak, I may not.
 
I

Infinite Bubble

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You may be an INFP, if you are sure of being a N. It would also make sense that you have a lot of ENFP friends. As for introversion or extroversion, obviously people aren't entirely one or the other, but I think introversion for you:

I don't initiate social occasions
These times alone, wihtout anyone to be responsible for, do make me feel slightly high and excited

These are just first thoughts, not exactly conclusive, but at least gives us an idea of which direction we're going in. You're probably quite close to the borderline of I/E.

I know so many of them, and they are far more verbally clever and popular/crazy than I am. Everyone likes me and I"m sociable and fun, but I'm not fun fun fun like ENFP's are. Do you know what I mean?

It could be possible that this is because of their dom-Ne, whereas if you're an INFP, Ne would only be auxiliary.

during a very demanding period of my life, I came up ESTJ

If you were considerably stressed, you may have been using your weaker functions, and the shadow of an INFP is a negative version of an ESTJ.

How certain are you of being an N and F?
 

KatharineML

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Thanks Infinite Bubble! Good thoughts.

In terms of N and F, I am pretty certain of the F as I do not like conflict and am empathetic - cry at sad movies etc. In terms of N, I'm not sure. I am married to an ENTP so compared to him I am realistic and practical. I don't know how to tell? Do you have a question that might help me decide that? I'm also sure I'm not an ESFJ (not motherly/responsible/managery enough), or an ISFJ (not clean, tidy, traditional etc.), or an ESFP (not so light/fun/good at remember dance steps) Or ISFP (I'm not as calm/relaxed or quiet as these people). So that kinda rules out the s's!! I feel more like an N in that I think deeply and complicatedly, but I do love it when things are simple!! I find it very relaxing and refreshing to read the back of cereal packets and other factual information, just to get some plain boring solidity, youknow!?

What does anyone think? Am I fitting into any type, particularly?
 
I

Infinite Bubble

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I think you are most definitely a Feeler, from what I can tell. Whether introverted or extroverted feeling is more unclear. Crying watching sad movies may in fact indicate that it is Fe, as someone with Fi would be more inclined to keep their feelings within.

I'm sure you've read some function descriptions, but I found this site particularly useful. Just skim through- which functions do you relate to more?

http://personalityjunkie.com/myers-briggs-functions-inferior-function/
 

KatharineML

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Hi Infinite Bubble - I really appreciate you taking this time with me. I have skimmed those articles - very interesting. I will return to them later. I found, as often I do, that I relate to all the judging functions more than the percieving. In particular Ti and Fi. A bit of Te and Fe too. I hardly relate to the S at all and, I think definitely Ne, over and above Ni.
I have often wondered if I was INTP but the stereotypical INTP is very masculine, withdrawn almost. I am interested in people from a philosophical and academic perspective and I do have strong values which leads me to care for them, but this caring is not really instinctive or natural. I choose it, and I can feel the choice. I tend to deal with emotions rationally. Although people find me very empathetic, I know that I am not as kind on the inside as I am on the outside :) Here are some phrases I particularly related to from the articles.


"INTPs find persistent inner openness uncomfortable and work to reduce it through use of their Introverted Thinking." (definitely true of me)


"Fi and Ti also differ largely in their interest areas. As we’ve seen, Fi types are often inspired to help the the sick, the needy, children, and animals. Ti types, by contrast, are generally far less motivated to help or care for needy individuals. INFPs and ISFPs also tend to be interested in art, poetry, and other means of expressing their feelings and values. ITPs are typically more interested in philosphical/intellectual (INTPs) or mechanical (ISTPs) pursuits than they are “artistic” ones. " (I find 'artistic' pursuits a bit annoying, and arty people a bit annoying, if I'm honest)

I am wondering if I am an INTP that uses Fe quite a lot as I am a mother and have to deal with people a lot in my life? However, this statement also could make sense of things, making me an INFP "Introverted Feeling also works to shape its own worldview—a personalized system of values—that can serve as a platform for self-understanding and decision-making. In this sense, it is similar to Ti, which also involves a process of building or modifying an inner structure"

Do you have a question that might help me decide between those two options? Or do you think I might be a whole other type? So often, leading Fi types are described as 'shy' and I really am not. I may not want to be with people all the time, or need to be with them much, and I certainly avoid phone calls etc., but I am not shy.
 

KatharineML

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It is really more about your cognitive functions rather than the dichotomies that are merely used as shorthand. For example, someone may be a Judger but is messy and doesn't follow a routine etc. This works vice-versa with Perceivers as well.

A quick method to decide whether your intro/extroverted is to ask yourself if you replenish your energy by being with others or by yourself.

If you're an N, then being excited about new things/ideas would, at least on the surface, be somewhat in line with Ne.

Have you taken this test before? http://www.keys2cognition.com/explore.htm

Hi again - I thought maybe I'd make an effort, since you are making an effort with me, so I did the test again. This was my result:

Cognitive Process Level of Development (Preference, Skill and Frequency of Use)
extraverted Sensing (Se) ********************* (21.3)
limited use
introverted Sensing (Si) *************************** (27.3)
average use
extraverted Intuiting (Ne) ******************************* (31.8)
good use
introverted Intuiting (Ni) ****************************** (30.5)
good use
extraverted Thinking (Te) ****************************** (30.4)
good use
introverted Thinking (Ti) ******************************************* (43.5)
excellent use
extraverted Feeling (Fe) *************************** (27.4)
average use
introverted Feeling (Fi) *************************** (27.6)
average use


Apparently this makes me likely to be an INTP. Others have thought I was this too - I have even actually been called an absent minded professor - but people also assume I am a feeler and think of me as a mother (I do have 5 children!). Infinite Bubble thought I was a feeler too. Also I am quite socially capable though I hate organising social things and have always been very content with few friends. I do like being amongst the people I am studying with or my husband/close family and discussing things. and I love to go out dancing sometimes also, but this is not so much social as a physical release that helps unclog my mind!

Do you think I am totally self decieved when doing the tests (I am trying to be utterly honest), or have I just developed myself unusually due to life circumstances? Am I more likely to have turned myself into an INTP, or for this to be my base personality?

A thought - my favourite thing always has been learning. The thing I enjoyed most at 3 years old was going to school where I learned to read and write and do maths etc. Still, it feels the same, I get a real kick out of learning, especially challenging things.

Anyone got a solid opinion on me yet or do you need more info?
 
W

WALMART

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Hmmmm. INTP does not seem far off.


What do you like most about your husband? In what ways are you similar, and what ways are you different?
 

KatharineML

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I most like the fact that he is interesting. I like being with him, we talk a lot together, throw things around. We are similar in our love for each other :) and we are both able to grasp difficult concepts - we like exploring.

Umm, we are different in that he has constant entrepreneurial ideas that I would never naturally take a chance on. Actually, on second thoughts, it's not the chance that bothers me, I just find business boring - too boring for pushing up a hill. He believes in his own fantasies a lot more than I do. He is very hopeful, bouyant, irrepressible even. I am more patient and realistic, though I blow up violently when utterly frustrated - he doesn't do this. He can be colder than me. He is FAR more extravagant than me, loves amazing food etc. I am happy with a jam sandwhich, couldn't care less.

He is funnier than me but I really enjoy his sense of humour - except that he loves puns and plays on words and I really don't understand why this is funny ...

He initiates things - LOVES answering the phone (I hate it), and getting the mail (I don't care). He is super curious. I am super interested (in things I'm interested in). He loves business, I hate it. I love theory and thrive in academia, he thinks that's a waste of time, is more interested in applying things and learning as you go.

Is that enough?
 
I

Infinite Bubble

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Hello again - INTP certainly looks most promising right now. You are, at the very least, an NP.

I have often wondered if I was INTP but the stereotypical INTP is very masculine, withdrawn almost. I am interested in people from a philosophical and academic perspective and I do have strong values which leads me to care for them, but this caring is not really instinctive or natural. I choose it, and I can feel the choice. I tend to deal with emotions rationally.

There are stereotypes, but that's all they are and most people aren't one, so don't worry about that. The philosophical and academic perspective is very INTP.

Although people find me very empathetic, I know that I am not as kind on the inside as I am on the outside :)

Fits with INTP. This is due to their Fe, so people are going to see that side of them, but they are Ti-dom so inside they are much more rational and perhaps colder. But because it is an introverted function, not many people are going to notice it.

Here are some phrases I particularly related to from the articles.

I think since you relate much more to Ti, we can rule out Fi for now.

I am wondering if I am an INTP that uses Fe quite a lot as I am a mother and have to deal with people a lot in my life? However, this statement also could make sense of things, making me an INFP "Introverted Feeling also works to shape its own worldview—a personalized system of values—that can serve as a platform for self-understanding and decision-making. In this sense, it is similar to Ti, which also involves a process of building or modifying an inner structure”

Do you have a question that might help me decide between those two options? Or do you think I might be a whole other type? So often, leading Fi types are described as 'shy' and I really am not. I may not want to be with people all the time, or need to be with them much, and I certainly avoid phone calls etc., but I am not shy.

It definitely makes sense that as a mother you would be making use of your F functions. It could be either Fi or Fe though.

Ti mostly wants to find ‘truth’. As an introverted function, it is subjective, so their own subjective truths- what makes sense to them (this differs from Te, which is objective, in the sense that it is not personal truth, but ‘collective’ truth- using tried and tested methods; the scientific method is very much Te).

Fi, rather than focusing on ‘truth’ bases themselves around their values. So they have a set of values that they care deeply about. Ti tries to remain detached from their feelings, whereas Fi cannot be detached as they need to remain connected to their personal value system.

Fi-doms aren’t necessarily shy, so I wouldn’t use that to eliminate it. What you are describing here though is classic introversion. There is probably enough evidence to say you are an Introvert, unless you have something to suggest otherwise.

Hi again - I thought maybe I'd make an effort, since you are making an effort with me, so I did the test again. This was my result:

[functions]

Apparently this makes me likely to be an INTP. Others have thought I was this too - I have even actually been called an absent minded professor - but people also assume I am a feeler and think of me as a mother (I do have 5 children!). Infinite Bubble thought I was a feeler too. Also I am quite socially capable though I hate organising social things and have always been very content with few friends. I do like being amongst the people I am studying with or my husband/close family and discussing things. and I love to go out dancing sometimes also, but this is not so much social as a physical release that helps unclog my mind!

If you are an INTP, it still fits, because like I mentioned above, what others and most likely myself are seeing is Fe. In fact, it is usually the opposite with Fi users at first- they are often cold on the outside and warm on the inside.

Do you think I am totally self decieved when doing the tests (I am trying to be utterly honest), or have I just developed myself unusually due to life circumstances? Am I more likely to have turned myself into an INTP, or for this to be my base personality?

The tests aren't really conclusive- they often give odd results that show functions that are almost never the order of an actual type. It can give you an inclination, but don’t trust it to give accurate measurement of the development for your functions. Although Ti is by far in the lead, so we can take that from it.

This question might help - what was you like before becoming a mother? Were you still relatively similar but without having to care for your children, or completely different?

I am more patient and realistic, though I blow up violently when utterly frustrated - he doesn't do this.

Seems like an inferior-Fe eruption. Rational and calm typically, suddenly become emotional and irrational under stress, and because Fe is focused externally, this leads to an explosion which is seen in the outer world.

He initiates things - LOVES answering the phone (I hate it), and getting the mail (I don't care).

Your husband probably has the In-Charge or the Get-Things-Going interaction style. These are the ‘initiating’ styles. INxPs are not either of these. They are more responders than initiators. There is a correlation between the styles and type. This page has the four descriptions and type correlations near the bottom:

http://www.interactionstyles.com/

Try and figure out which one you are; it would be a massive help and really narrow down which your type is.
 

KatharineML

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Hi Infinite Bubble - you are really good at this, it's clearing up a lot for me. I am definitely more cold on the inside, warm on the outside, rather than the other way round. I relate very much to the Ti search for subjective truth you described, and I definitely try to detach myself from my feelings though have had to learn that this is not always wise :)

Your question, what was I like before I was a mother, is interesting. I was more independent, as in, I did my own thing. I liked doing things on my own, moved out of home early, sought adventure or something different, and probably lived in a bit of a world of my own although I hung out with people a lot too, usually strange or edgy people. As soon as I found my husband, we liked being together best, and still do. He is definitely an ENTP. We are both capable socially, though he is more liable to offend, I am more aware of social convention and people find me easier to be with, though he is probably more exciting and stimulating, for those who like that (I certainly like that). Sorry, got off track there! Before I was a mother was not a long period of time but at school I liked discussing and debating politics and religion and things I did not really understand. I found school learning pointless - enjoyed chemistry and history and was good at writing/English, but could see no point in pursuing any of these things. Wanted to understand the world at a deeper level, and make sense of things. Should have done higher education but was too arrogant to listen to any of my teachers :) Am doing it now ...

Motherhood was and is an adventure, that is now leading to many more adventures. I am going to write a thesis on it, and books.

I checked out the interaction styles and that's a hard one. I have used all of them in my life. Before I was a mother, however, I never took the lead or 'managed' people in any way, so maybe Take Charge is out. Get things Going is what I like others to do, and then I get in on the action and can seem like that myself. Chart the Course, maybe - I do like to have a plan, but then, in a group, I am unlikely to force that plan. This phrase is true of me "Producing, sustaining, defining, and clarifying are all ways they support a group's process." and that is Behind the Scenes. I would never have thought of myself as a behind the scenes person as I was always keen to be on stage as a child (I liked acting) and, as I said, have never been what you would call shy.

I really must get back to work now so have rushed some of this, but I hope it is getting clearer. You guys are amazing at sorting through this stuff and I appreciate it :)
 

KatharineML

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One other thing. I know this is a caricature, but my kids say that my husband and I are like Evie and Rick from the Mummy. In fact, Evie is the only character anyone has ever said I am like, and I even look like Rachel Weiss ... her characters would suit me to act probably. We ARE like them, I think, only less action/adventure, more imagination/adventure. In reality, we do a lot of work on the internet ... :dry:
Maybe this helps you picture me, maybe not??
 
I

Infinite Bubble

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Hi Infinite Bubble - you are really good at this, it's clearing up a lot for me. I am definitely more cold on the inside, warm on the outside, rather than the other way round. I relate very much to the Ti search for subjective truth you described, and I definitely try to detach myself from my feelings though have had to learn that this is not always wise :)

No problem! And I think it's easy to say you have Ti-Fe rather than the other way round.

I was more independent, as in, I did my own thing. I liked doing things on my own, moved out of home early, sought adventure or something different, and probably lived in a bit of a world of my own although I hung out with people a lot too, usually strange or edgy people.

This definitely supports you having Ne. The function is always looking for something new and exciting. It could also be Se, but that would mean you also have Ni.

As soon as I found my husband, we liked being together best, and still do. He is definitely an ENTP. We are both capable socially, though he is more liable to offend, I am more aware of social convention and people find me easier to be with, though he is probably more exciting and stimulating, for those who like that (I certainly like that).

That’s interesting, because ENTPs typically have more developed Fe, with it being in tertiary position, rather than inferior as it is with INTPs. Although INTPs are stereotypically more low-key and passive, because of their introversion/dominant Ti. Another option for you may be INFJ, but you say you identify with Ne, so I’m unsure of that. Interestingly, ENTP is considered the best match for INFJ. The types compliment each other very well.

Sorry, got off track there! Before I was a mother was not a long period of time but at school I liked discussing and debating politics and religion and things I did not really understand. I found school learning pointless - enjoyed chemistry and history and was good at writing/English, but could see no point in pursuing any of these things. Wanted to understand the world at a deeper level, and make sense of things. Should have done higher education but was too arrogant to listen to any of my teachers :) Am doing it now ...

It seems like you were pretty much the same as before, except perhaps you developed Fe more. People develop the rest of their functions and even out anyway, as they get older and more mature. INTPs are known to rebel against authority, though, so that also fits.

Motherhood was and is an adventure, that is now leading to many more adventures. I am going to write a thesis on it, and books.

It’s nice to have something to be passionate about, isn't it? Although any type can write about a subject, NTs are known to analyse something and break it down to its core elements. Is this description the sort of thing your thesis/book would be like?

I checked out the interaction styles and that's a hard one. I have used all of them in my life. Before I was a mother, however, I never took the lead or 'managed' people in any way, so maybe Take Charge is out. Get things Going is what I like others to do, and then I get in on the action and can seem like that myself. Chart the Course, maybe - I do like to have a plan, but then, in a group, I am unlikely to force that plan. This phrase is true of me "Producing, sustaining, defining, and clarifying are all ways they support a group's process." and that is Behind the Scenes. I would never have thought of myself as a behind the scenes person as I was always keen to be on stage as a child (I liked acting) and, as I said, have never been what you would call shy.

It can be tough to decipher between Chart-The-Course and Behind-The-Scenes, but the main goal of the former is to make progress with a situation, and is usually focused around time. The latter is more to do with giving information out. When people with CTC speak, it is more direct than BTS. I’ll take an example I read once:

If someone has their shoes on the bed, someone with CTC may say ‘take your shoes off the bed please’ whereas BTS would be more like ‘shoes don’t belong on the bed’. The former is more to do with time, and has more of a sense of urgency, and the latter is giving the information so that the other person will take them off the bed.

Of course we all use the different styles at some points in our life, but it is which one we are naturally inclined to use, on a day-to-day basis.

One other thing. I know this is a caricature, but my kids say that my husband and I are like Evie and Rick from the Mummy. In fact, Evie is the only character anyone has ever said I am like, and I even look like Rachel Weiss ... her characters would suit me to act probably. We ARE like them, I think, only less action/adventure, more imagination/adventure. In reality, we do a lot of work on the internet ... :dry:
Maybe this helps you picture me, maybe not??

I haven’t seen those films for years, but quickly researching I found that Evie is said to be an INFP and Rick an ENTP. They certainly seem to have your husband right! I don't think INFP for you anymore, although it is still possible.
 
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