I think I know my type but am unsure

[BrightEyes]

Well according to tests and what seems to be the most logical explanation, I am a 4w3.
I am in an average level at the moment, (as I often am , :/) and the things coming to the surface are.
A sense of numbness and disappointing when I am trying to connect with people and finding it impossible.
A sense of disappointment when I look at the lives of those around me who are naturally feeling a sense of flow where I have felt in a sense of dis-ease for so long now.
Some jealousy for my friends who are doing well and connecting with people.
Trying to feel love for others but failing.
Googling the shit out of self help to try and come good again.
Low self esteem at times, or just numb kind of disappointment when I think about myself.

I was on a healthier level, but got stoned (paranoid) and pulled into a lower level.
How the hell do I get out of this also, kinda sucks ass haha.
Any help would be awesome, cause none of my friends ever want to delve as deep as I do.

 

[mintleaf]

I'm really sorry you're not doing so well. I don't want to tell you what to do, but - I know that whenever I feel numb/uneasy, it's better for me to avoid the internet and try to establish a more productive and outward-focused routine. Even if that just means taking a walk every day, it can help.

I don't know about your type...4 sounds right, though. here's a 4w3 description that might help

Four with a Three Wing: The Aristocrat

Healthy

Healthy 4w3’s can be both successful and inspired. They leave a personal touch in all the works they do, while maintaining some connection with the larger world. They enjoy public attention but are also committed to private self-exploration.

Average

Average 4w3’s can be provocative and attention-grabbing, whether through art or life. Their emotional turbulances are more on the surface than the more withdrawn 4w5’s, and it often translates to immediate and widespread interpersonal impact. They can have problems with vanity and self-indulgence, and can resemble sevens in their love of luxury and pleasure. But unlike sevens, sensations are not sought in themselves but as another accessory to their fantasy identity. They tend to “hide away” once the problems with self-image caught up with them. They can also be competitive, play emotional games, and cause “dramas” of various sorts.

Unhealthy

When 4w3’s are unhealthy, they are prone to hysteria and shallow/melodramatic emotional displays. They can have pronounced issue with self-image and shame. They feel justified to act selfishly because of their suffering. Narcissism and jealousy is also common.