[MENTION=5684]Elfboy[/MENTION] , thanks. Though just yesterday, I was reading descriptions of these three types, so it may be a bit biased.
1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
I look for a way to make sense of the world. I think everything should have purpose and meaning, and like to get rid of things that don't, or to give them purpose if possible, changing them if necessary. I don't like to interfere with other people's lives, I let them do their own thing as long as it doesn't bother mine. If no one is able / willing to help me overcome obstacles, I'd rather take it into my own hands and maneuver around it than keep depending on them. I look for honesty but not senseless rudeness, I look for calm and comfort and simple amusement. I also used to look for knowledge, almost as an ultimate goal, but that has been less of an urge in the past few years, so I think it's shifting.
2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
Just to live a modest, comfortable life, hopefully find love. I don't like fame or fortune in principle; I think fame is attention-seeking and fortune is greedy. But to be well-known for what I do (such as my job) might be nice, however I wouldn't pursue that as a goal, I think. It should be a natural outgrowth of my career, if anything. And also to support those who put their faith in me.
When choosing an education for a career, I thought about what the purpose of a job is. I decided that it would be selfish to choose something I enjoy and "play around" in the sense that it wouldn't help others in a constructive way. Not that I've ever been a people person--I'm not--but to me that's the role of a job in a society. So, I chose which of my top interests could benefit society the most, and now in a career setting, I look for jobs / like to hold jobs that feel I'm having an impact for the better on our society, even behind the scenes. (better behind the scenes than dealing with people, actually)
3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
Things I try to avoid in myself are Arrogance, Hypocrisy, Dishonesty, Needless Cruelty. Those are probably the biggest "crimes" in my mind. I also try not to take what I have for granted, and to be Grateful and Humble. Freedom of choice and Privacy are personally important to me, and to Respect other people's Boundaries. I also prefer to do things / have things that have a purpose or reason, I don't like doing things that don't have a reason. And I also don't like being wrong, but I try to have the humility to admit it and come to terms with it. In the end, it's better to know the truth, than to feel right with the wrong answer...but it's not always easy. I also Never say Never, in principle.
4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
Actually one of my biggest hidden fears is that my friends/family will be angry with me / hate me. I realized that a few years ago, it was weird.
5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
As a knowledgeable, fair, trustworthy person who sticks up for what's right and is not rude in the process. I see myself as someone who makes sense in a world that constantly doesn't make sense.
And generally those traits I just listed, and as a "friendly" enough to be approachable person, in an understated way. I'm hardly ever particularly happy or unhappy, I sit near the middle, mostly.
6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
Best would be having a comfortable, calm atmosphere, with support from friends and family, and also time and space to be alone, of course, exploring new things /activities / ideas, but not in a wild way, in a very mild and open way--not in a reckless or dangerous way. Such as going out for drives in the car to new roads and towns, just to see what the path is like. Having freedom to do whatever I want, and privacy and people respecting that privacy. People recognizing effort I put into my work is another great feeling, like when I got a raise without asking and no one else did. People understanding me for who I really am, that would be nice. I feel that no one's ever really "gotten" me, though some have come closer than others, just not nearly close to the whole me. Which is not terrible, because it's nice to feel unique, but still...I don't know.
Worst would be as an object of public ridicule, being personally betrayed, being the object of anger of my friends/family, being the things that I myself hate, i.e., betraying my own values, such as crossing someone else's boundary of privacy. Worst is having no control over my life/over a situation. I hate rollercoasters, drugs, etc. for this reason, it's a terrifying thought/feeling.
7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.
Anger and violence I've been taught all my life is a bad thing, something to be avoided at all costs, something to be ashamed of if acted upon. There is the issue of "righteous anger"...even this should be regarded as a very rare thing to use and not something to be proud of. More like using a nuclear weapon to win a war--maybe you can think of a case where it might be the best choice, but it's not something you should be proud of. I do get frustrated sometimes, but I try to keep calm, try to not have others suffer for what's my issue (the anger) and not theirs. Or even if they're in the wrong, that's not justification to let loose the anger. I do let it slip once in a while, and I always feel guilty afterwards.
Shame is very uncomfortable...not sure how to deal with it. I guess I avoid it? Try to cover it. If I'm in the wrong, maybe I should confront what inner conflict created this and admit I was wrong, and resolve to change. Or maybe lash out and run for cover. Not sure. Avoid it in the first place, avoid situations that would create it / lead to it.
Anxiety, well, people who have gotten to know me have always said I'm high-strung, I get anxious in new situations around new people, or in one-on-one situations. Sometimes I feel almost as if people are "watching" me in public places.
Or similar in the one-on-one situations, actually. I also get anxious when I have to trust others to take care of something, to know that there's nothing I can do to shape a situation. At work, it means I have a hard time letting other people step into my duties / projects, because I don't trust them to do it as well as I do. At home, it could mean I feel nervous as a backseat driver, for example.
So my motto is "If you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself."
8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict
When stressed, I freak out, get frantic, raise my voice (I hate raising my voice
), and then feel bad for being too pushy. I know this cycle because it happens a lot at work now.
But this has always been the case in my personal life, too. It's why my friends say I'm "high-strung," because of the freaking out part when I'm normally pretty calm.
At unexpected change, I freeze. Try not to panic, sometimes unsuccessfully. When confronted with a change in my philosophy, I get upset and defensive and sometimes angry, but feel an unsettling notion that I really ought to re-examine my philosophy/values if it's this big of a deal, apparently, so that hopefully subsides soon enough.
Conflict I try to avoid. I usually duck out of conflict whenever possible. Even when it's worth standing your ground, it's usually not necessary to do it with conflict. For instance, another person is sure they are right about a moral issue. I close the debate, and let them think that, but I'll keep my own opinion unchanged. No reason to confront them, what would be gained? The few things I can think are offensive enough to warrant conflict would be matters of public shame, perhaps, such as violations of personal private matters, or needless cruelty (bullying).
9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?
Feel neutral toward authority. I think a lot of people make authority their enemy for no apparent reason; I don't personally think that there's anything inherently bad or good about authority. But I think those with authority should live up to their responsibility, if their positions are to have any meaning.
Power, not sure what to say. What does this mean?
10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
I believe that each person in the world generally has good intentions, but I still don't trust society as a whole, really. In a life that seems to have no meaning and a world that seems to have no purpose, I like to at least build a little world where those exist.
I don't feel I have the right to impose that on others, though, so I try to make it as self-contained as possible. I think humanity is just "there," I don't even feel a need to see its "advancement"...to what end? Why? Let people be people, let the world take its course, why try to avert "disaster" or build "paradise"?
The end.
Relevant list of my most important values, from a quiz a few months ago:
In ranked order:
1. Significance (19 votes) = Meaning = Purpose, to me
2. Thoroughness (16 votes)
3. Privacy (13 votes)
4. Truth (12 votes)
5. Judiciousness (12 votes)
6. Originality (12 votes)
7. Trust (11 votes)
8. Reflection (11 votes)
9. Independence (10 votes) = Being in charge of your own actions
10. Accuracy (10 votes)
11. Discovery (10 votes)
12. Humility (8 votes)
13. Consistency (8 votes)
14. Liberty (8 votes)
15. Soundness (6 votes)
16. Sincerity (6 votes)
17. Honesty (5 votes)
18. Fun (5 votes)
19. Perseverance (5 votes)
20. Discipline (3 votes)
