Ooh, ooh, he's not been posting so let's pick at him while he's too busy to notice.
Unfortunately most of this is going to seem like anecdotal hearsay from a third party -- probably because it is -- but hopefully it will still prove helpful.
Here's what's making me think he might be an INTP. You said school and academics came very easily to him. Typical INTP. You said he seemed a little aloof and detached. Typical INTP.
School does come easy for him. If he lets it. As far as I know, he's never liked the cold, logical subjects like math and physics, and preferred (and done very well) in subjects dealing with biology, humanities and art.
As for being aloof and detached, so is almost everyone I've met where he is -- especially his own family. It's only recently he's worked on letting himself out of his constructed shell. Unlike my INTP guy friend, who is naturally aloof and detached, Jogi seems forced into the role, as well as depersonalized from unreleased anxiety from his upbringing. It almost seems as if his neglect has caused him post traumatic stress because he's been very sensitive to rejection from day one. Naturally, anyone will put up walls around themselves if they perceive an onslaught of continuous rejection. So, his seems reactionary, rather than innate.
I'd like to see what he has to say on that, though, since, although I know him very well, I'm still just a third party.
2. “He buries emotions immediately, sometimes to have them explode when he's under stress.” When INTPs are under stress they are an emotional basket case and train wreck. There is a lot of crying going on and yelling and general upset.
My INTP guy friend becomes even more detached, cold and impersonal under heavy stress, especially that which deals with emotions, but can also become very whiny when stressed from what he interprets as criticism. he never explodes. It's as if his emotions are simply drained, rather than bottled.
Jogi under stress is a person of tightly wound emotions and partial to severe depersonalization as he attempts more and more to bury the whirlwind beneath the surface, ready to break free when they get the chance.
But while neither of this is really indicative of the functions, if I take a closer look I can start to see what may be going on.
My INTP steps up his Ti to a point where it's all that seems to exist. This creates a shell of logic and non-communication, protecting any Fe that may threaten to break through the barrier and, god forbid, make him feel things.
This is SO OBVIOUS I can damn near experience it with all five senses.
Jogi, by contrast, has tried to do just that, and failed. There seem to be two basic scenarios that can be created for him under stress.
When it comes to severe stress and he can't access his Si manual for what to do, he depersonalizes. His Fi -- if that's what he has -- takes over and 'protects' him in his time of dire need, and he becomes a mess. He becomes very clingy, or very aloof, sometimes alternately.
He can be greatly confused by what to do -- on the one hand, his Fi may be telling him to get through it, and on the other hand, his Te may be trying to rescue him by attempting to intellectualize the whole situation, just as he's learned to do most his life. His Te isn't the most developed function, so it fails, leaving him a panicked, confused, and even seemingly insane, wreck of emotions.
Mild stress, or even severe stress he's learned to deal with, seems to have a different outcome. In these situations, his Fi seems to protect him by first deciding if it's worth his while to continue rather than 'switch off'. If it is, he can access his Si manual and apply his Te to create...a therapist. In this role, he assumes the cold, collected role of a therapist or gentle fatherly figure by reaching into past experience, pulling it forward, and applying it outwardly through his logical Te in a much more stable manner than when he depersonalizes from anxiety. In this role, he can become very stubborn or/and waffle dangerously.
If personally criticized during that time, however, his Fi may switch back to 'defense' and shut him off again. This is, of course, his insecurity defense.
These at first superficially resemble tactics my INTP uses because of the detachment it can create. There may be plenty of deeper similarities as well, but considering how similar INTP and INFP are, I can see why. Ti and Fi may be very different, but they can take on similar roles, best I can tell.
I haven't read
any official literature on MBTI, so feel free to correct me if you see I've got it wrong.
5. “He was very bossy as a child -- especially as a young child -- before becoming more insecure later on in life.” I was very bossy as a child. I was always going into dangerous situations, helping people in need, I guess because I didn’t sense the danger there . . . a bit naive. Then, later in life, I kind of fell apart.
I don't believe he's ever been a daredevil at any point. His bossy attitude had me wondering if he was INFJ, but my INTP's INFP psychologist mother is also
extremely bossy (self-entitlement), but in an informing, rather than directing, manner. I'm naturally bossy with my "DO THIS" directing communication, but I've noticed Jogi has a particular way of being passive aggressive with his bossy (or, rather, stubborn) attitude. My INTP has a directing style, though he avoids directing by being passive and uncommunicative.
I went through a tough period in my life where I suffered from a lot of social anxiety, depression, cyclical rambling, and low confidence, and it was kind of like a role reversal thing where emotions were in charge, rather than the thoughts (natural tendency). It was like the development of the weaker half of me, the feelings. Swimming in a pool of emotion and fantasy. I was very sensitive to criticism. The reason I mistyped myself as INFP was that I discovered MBTI when I was going through this period.
He could be going through a phase like this. You seemed to sound like he wasn’t quite normal right now anyways, and was struggling for a while.
I have watched my INTP go through this several times, especially when he was younger. Just last winter he went through his 'false INFP' mode again, and he started wondering if he actually
was a feeler. I pointed out to him that he was still using his INTP traits, just differently.
Funny thing is, Jogi seems to go through the opposite; he brings out his thinking because that's how he's learned to be. Almost everyone I met where he lives is cold, idolizing those with cool, aloof personalities, that can manage their emotions or have none at all. This is the way he grew up, with a mother who openly admitted she doesn't think she cares about anyone, and a father who totes that emotions are a very bad thing to display publicly.
His emotions have been mostly denied since his birth. I've personally witnessed what happens when he lets his emotions out with his parents, and it isn't pretty. Actually, I took the brunt of it as well, once. His mother is either a very disordered IxFP or IxTP, his dad a severely depressed, avoidant INTP or INTJ.
Despite the environment in which he was raised, he's surprisingly fit, intelligent, affectionate and creative. I would have to say it was his undying ideals that pulled him through. An INTP in that environment, with the Ti dominant, would have easily become very schizoid, I think.
This page here has helped me to clarify some things about him, as well. I figure, if there's one way to truly type a person, it's look at their infancy and childhood, before they could be heavily influenced.
I'm quoting the two pages on
ITP and
IFP kids, bolding and putting a + next to what pertains to him, and placing a - next to those that do not. For neutrals or unknowns, I'll put an o. Remember, this is just according to what I know, though I did discuss it with him already.
ITP Kid:
ITP Traits
1. Logical and objective: -
2. Tend to be adventurous, and enjoy taking physical risks: --
3. They're original and value their uniqueness: +
4. They're highly independent, and don't like being told what to do: o
5. They have no interest in controlling or leading others, or telling them what to do: -
6. Quiet and serious: +
7. Honest and direct: -
8. They're very observant: -
9. Curious and interested in learning new things: + (however dampened by shame it was)
10. Quick to learn new things: +
11. Not overly affectionate or demonstrative of their love: -- (very, when allowed)
12. They enjoy books: +
13. They have a tendency to be loners, and may have one or two friends, rather than lots of acquaintances: + (well, he's an introvert)
14. They're very easy-going and undemanding: - (tough call, but I'd have to say no)
15. Often prefer to work alone rather than in groups: o
16. They want to be good at things that interest them, and they apply their own standards rather than trying to impress anyone else: - (he loves to impress, if he feels confident he can)
17. They get bored easily: --
18. They value precision in communication, and are irritated by exaggerations and half-truths: +
Potential Strengths
1. When interested in something, they exhibit extreme competence and will master it completely: - (though to be fair, this may not be applicable for other reasons)
2. They're flexible and can adapt well to new situations: +
3. Laid-back and easy-going, they're usually easy to get along with: o (depends on who you are)
4. Strong sense of fairness: +
5. They're highly observant, and quickly incorporate new data into their thinking: -
6. They're usually quite intelligent, and able to do well in higher education: +
7. They're quite honest and truthful: -
8. They take things seriously, and are seldom frivolous or flighty: +
9. They have open and accepting natures, although they're not always interested in people : +
Potential Weaknesses
1. They don't have a good sense of time or schedules, and may frequently run late or miss deadlines: +
2. They will strongly resist being told what to do, which may present a discipline problem: -
3. They do not like to make decisions, and prefer to leave things open until the last possible moment: +
4. They will resist doing anything that they don't feel like doing: -/o
5. They're often unaware of how others are feeling, or how their own behavior affects others: + (again, not necessarily for 'healthy' reasons)
6. They keep their own feelings closely guarded and well-hidden from others, sometimes even from themselves: +++
7. When stressed out or upset, they may react with extreme emotions that are inappropriate or exaggerated for the situation: -
8. Highly objective and detached, they may have difficulty forming close bonds with people: -
9. With their risk-taking natures, they might get into some trouble: ---
IFP Kid:
1. Very idealistic: +++
2. Take things seriously and personally: +++
3. Quiet and gentle: +++ (his mother has used the word 'gentle' to describe him as a kid on several occasions)
4. Extremely sensitive: ++++++
5. Shy and reserved with strangers: ++++++
6. Enjoy reading: +++
7. Service-oriented, they want to please others: ++
8. They love animals and small babies: +++ (still continues; I'm 'child free' and he wants a baby, my INTP doesn't like babies at all)
9. Likely to be messy and unstructured: +++
10. They need lots of love and affection : +++++
Potential Strengths
1. Deeply caring and empathic: +++ (this has caused him problems)
2. They're usually very kind and sweet: +++
3. Laidback and easygoing, they're not likely to create trouble: +
4. They adapt well to new situations, and welcome change: +
5. They're usually relaxed, peaceful and unrushed: ++
6. Usually extremely creative and artistic: ++++++
7. They are original and genuine: ++ (his originality has yet to blossom, but exists, hindered by lack of confidence)
8. Take things seriously, and aren't likely to be frivolous: +
9. They need harmony, and can be good peacemakers: ++++
10. They're faithful and devoted to people and causes: ++++
11. They're often quite faithful to their religion: + (though he doesn't have one, I see that he would be very strongly)
Potential Weaknesses
1. They're extremely sensitive and become hurt very easily: ++++++
2. They cannot use logic well at a young age: +
3. They don't really have a concept of time or schedules, so they are frequently late: +
4. May be reckless and irresponsible with money: o
5. Tendency to let negative thoughts build up inside them until it becomes an unhealthy situation: ++++++++NARGJFGEDNG
6. They cannot see things objectively - they see everything from their own point of view: +++++ (stubbornly)
7. If they feel rejected or unloved, they may become very depressed and moody: +++++++ ('needy')
8. They are procrastinators and have trouble completing projects: +++++ (don't get me started)
9. They are so internally focused that they are sometimes completely unaware of how anyone else is feeling: +++++
10. They have difficulty expressing their deepest feelings, and are sometimes unaware of these feelings themselves: +++++
11. Although they care deeply about others, they are self-absorbed and so may be seen as selfish: +++++
12. They cannot take any kind of criticism, and will become defensive and emotional when criticised: +++++
13. They don't like to make decisions, and will put it off as long as possible: ++
14. They often view decisions with absolute finality, and don't realize that they can change their mind later: +++++
15. They naturally move slowly doing things, which makes them sometimes appear lazy: +++++++++!!!!
16. They have trouble asserting themselves: ++++++++++OFF THE CHARTS
Ok, so I went a bit overboard. But I did have to laugh out loud at how much of the IFP fit. Even though the descriptions were very simple, maybe they will shed some more light on the distinction in general.
We've had our disputes yes, and aren't done with them yet either, but they tend not to be heated, just... stubborn and a bit long winded. Conflict pattern:
1. She gets upset by something I do/think and react as if I'm a complete moron for thinking it.
2. I try to explain my point of view.
3. She gives me the silent treatment.
4a) I buckle and compromise, but don't forget or
4b) I stubbornly claim I'm right and she cuts me off
5. We take a break from the discussion and get some perspective.
6. We become willing to see that the other person's point of view is valid given certain premises.
7. We debrief what happened.
8. I promise to try and change what can be changed, she apologizes for over reacting.
Intensify that a few times and you definitely have our version of it.
I think it's really sweet how much time you put into that, even if Firefox did mess it up. and thanks for all the input, everyone else! I'm really surprised.
