Cold Roses
New member
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2012
- Messages
- 51
As a teen I took the MBTI and scored out as an INTJ. It didn't entirely sit well with me. Recently I have taken varying tests, and received either INTJ or INFJ. Which is odd, considering. I do know that I trust my enneagram score of 4w5.
I just took the 41q.com test and scored out very distinctly as INF and J, with my usual almost balanced score between I and E. Surprisingly, the T and F were very far off from each other. N always wins. By a large margin.
So, enneagram of 4w5 and I wrote up a rant just last night of the things I thought were important about me for my friends (because they are trying to help me work this out). It's sort of freewheeling, so I will just bullet point the important fundamentals.
A Note: My adopted Bermudian dad, when asked, just told me that I am more feeling than thinking-though I am certainly a thinker in a lot of ways.
-I value intellect and logic and I possess those qualities (ahem, most of the time). Still, I get derailed a lot in my thinking by my feelings. I wish I ran on logic alone, but it just ain't happening. I do get on well with highly logical people, though.
-I will disagree with people, but I try to temper it. When I do get extremely angry, I often become cold and logical and attack in that manner. Seldom happens though, because I really dislike harming others. It takes a lot to get me there.
-I will go to bat for someone I don't even like if I feel like they are being violated, though I can have mercy on a would be violator if it doesn't seem like their intentions were to harm. I guess I believe in redemption.
-My ex boyfriend called me delicate, fragile and fierce and in that moment I agreed with him utterly and knew it was true.
-My gut often tells me if someone is rotten, but I will usually give them the benefit of the doubt anyway for quite a while, though I stay on guard.
-I dislike those that cause harm to others, particularly if it seems intentional. I do try to consider intentions, but if it seems like it's a deliberate and premeditated act, I will become furious. Righteous anger, I guess. Not always attractive.
-I cannot angle after money and prestige at the expense of someone else, or at the expense of my own values. That might seem illogical, but to me it isn't. I am behaving logically according to what is right to me and I respect someone else who does the same...unless they are harming someone else.
-I have been told I have refined tastes in art, music, literature. I don't know if that is true, I tend to like what I like and be unapologetic about it.
-I get caught up in world events, present and past, far too easily. I have to retreat into my own space a lot and ignore the news and even sometimes my chosen field, history, when I get on a jaunt about something that I perceive as evil or dehumanizing.
-I don't want a homogenous world. I like the differences, and I can't fundamentally understand why anyone gives a fig about someone's race or sexual identity. If you aren't causing harm, game on. Extremists bother me. I long for harmony, and appreciation of the unique offerings different people have.
-I recharge by being alone. I have to or I will lose it.
-I am a perfectionist, but I try to perfect myself according to my own standards. I swear sometimes that my crazy arse wants to be a SAINT, morally and ethically, but I also want to develop every aspect of myself (writing, painting, music, any and all intellectual pursuits). I'd prefer to use whatever assets I have to both develop myself and be useful.
-I care more about being useful than being successful, though I will not bend to some standardized idea of what is useful. Still, success wouldn't be bad if it was on terms that didn't compromise my integrity, because I would love to be free to travel, see the world, and do my thing.
-I have written poetry since I was about 4 years old. Still do.
-As much as I want to be left the hell alone sometimes, I think having loving relationships with the people in my life is of deep importance and I struggle with trying to figure out how to be true to myself and do my thing, while making sure that I don't neglect those relationships.
I do have a death stare, though. I didn't even know what that was in the MBTI context until someone brought it to my attention recently. The stare itself has been brought to me attention many times over the years.
Sorry for the length, I can usually be brief when I take the time to synergize and condense but this is driving me nuts and I need help (which I hate asking for).
I just took the 41q.com test and scored out very distinctly as INF and J, with my usual almost balanced score between I and E. Surprisingly, the T and F were very far off from each other. N always wins. By a large margin.
So, enneagram of 4w5 and I wrote up a rant just last night of the things I thought were important about me for my friends (because they are trying to help me work this out). It's sort of freewheeling, so I will just bullet point the important fundamentals.
A Note: My adopted Bermudian dad, when asked, just told me that I am more feeling than thinking-though I am certainly a thinker in a lot of ways.
-I value intellect and logic and I possess those qualities (ahem, most of the time). Still, I get derailed a lot in my thinking by my feelings. I wish I ran on logic alone, but it just ain't happening. I do get on well with highly logical people, though.
-I will disagree with people, but I try to temper it. When I do get extremely angry, I often become cold and logical and attack in that manner. Seldom happens though, because I really dislike harming others. It takes a lot to get me there.
-I will go to bat for someone I don't even like if I feel like they are being violated, though I can have mercy on a would be violator if it doesn't seem like their intentions were to harm. I guess I believe in redemption.
-My ex boyfriend called me delicate, fragile and fierce and in that moment I agreed with him utterly and knew it was true.
-My gut often tells me if someone is rotten, but I will usually give them the benefit of the doubt anyway for quite a while, though I stay on guard.
-I dislike those that cause harm to others, particularly if it seems intentional. I do try to consider intentions, but if it seems like it's a deliberate and premeditated act, I will become furious. Righteous anger, I guess. Not always attractive.
-I cannot angle after money and prestige at the expense of someone else, or at the expense of my own values. That might seem illogical, but to me it isn't. I am behaving logically according to what is right to me and I respect someone else who does the same...unless they are harming someone else.
-I have been told I have refined tastes in art, music, literature. I don't know if that is true, I tend to like what I like and be unapologetic about it.
-I get caught up in world events, present and past, far too easily. I have to retreat into my own space a lot and ignore the news and even sometimes my chosen field, history, when I get on a jaunt about something that I perceive as evil or dehumanizing.
-I don't want a homogenous world. I like the differences, and I can't fundamentally understand why anyone gives a fig about someone's race or sexual identity. If you aren't causing harm, game on. Extremists bother me. I long for harmony, and appreciation of the unique offerings different people have.
-I recharge by being alone. I have to or I will lose it.
-I am a perfectionist, but I try to perfect myself according to my own standards. I swear sometimes that my crazy arse wants to be a SAINT, morally and ethically, but I also want to develop every aspect of myself (writing, painting, music, any and all intellectual pursuits). I'd prefer to use whatever assets I have to both develop myself and be useful.
-I care more about being useful than being successful, though I will not bend to some standardized idea of what is useful. Still, success wouldn't be bad if it was on terms that didn't compromise my integrity, because I would love to be free to travel, see the world, and do my thing.
-I have written poetry since I was about 4 years old. Still do.
-As much as I want to be left the hell alone sometimes, I think having loving relationships with the people in my life is of deep importance and I struggle with trying to figure out how to be true to myself and do my thing, while making sure that I don't neglect those relationships.
I do have a death stare, though. I didn't even know what that was in the MBTI context until someone brought it to my attention recently. The stare itself has been brought to me attention many times over the years.
Sorry for the length, I can usually be brief when I take the time to synergize and condense but this is driving me nuts and I need help (which I hate asking for).
). I figure I'm just expressing my thinking function more while taking those tests, at times, so it gets mixed up sometimes. I've also been mistaken for an INTP by others, here. Ultimately what motivates me at the core, and impacts my decisions the most are values based on intra/interpersonally related emotional dynamics. Ni scope, Fe value focus, Ti rational understanding of these things, oriented & expressed/experienced & acted upon through Se. 
