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Type 6 or 9?

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
*cough*

Push and pull, 9 wants to minimize the conflict (I.E. some things are just not worth creating trouble,) sx wants to throw it all away. Similarly, SX is counter to the 6's stance.

Yes, after knowing a sexual 9w1 fairly well, I can tell you for certain that they push-pull. They are strangely disconnected and non-confrontational, but then if feel strongly about something may want to stir things up, and they have that need for intimacy and some kind of intense response from other people, before disappearing back into the shadows of their psyche to chill back out and occasionally throw out fuzzy fishing lures and one liners to maintain the intimacy they desperately need, despite their detachment.

It's actually kind of strange to be around a sexual 9w1 because they say they don't want conflict, but then will turn around and push people's buttons to get the desired effect.

Of course I'm not referring to the healthiest sexual 9 in the world.



Now THIS is what is making me think just that. If [MENTION=13609]Hazashin[/MENTION] really does think so, then it is possible that he is just stressed, and the reason why he identifies with 6 so much is because he is stressed.

yep
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Cannot any phobic 6 be like this, though? Also, I'm an INFP, so I am an idealist like that.

Hmm... Well, could you explain exactly what you mean by "reactive"? Like, could you give some on examples on what you mean?

I don't see how reactiveness is a necessary trait. It would seem to me that the more mature 6s would learn to overcome this.

Like Marm said, being a non-reactive 6 would mean that you are not a 6, because 6 is essentially the reactive heart of the enneagram. I'm sure you have read how 6s can have a tendency to be followers and latch on to others as opposed to trailblazing on their own, and that ties into reactivity. Essentially what being reactive means is that instead of originating your own thoughts, emotions, and behaviors from the core of your being and your personal drives, you tend to respond to your environment.

This results in your environment playing a huge part in your well-being: especially for a Sexual Six, who will be very attuned to others' energy, your thoughts, moods, and actions will often be based on how someone else has behaved toward you or what someone else thinks of you or how someone else might respond to you - your family, close friends, and significant other in particular. Your mother barking at you in the morning, even on an otherwise good morning, can really upset your mood that day. Your boss asking you to do a little better on a certain project can throw you into a mindstorm of analysis of whether you are good enough at your job and whether you are going to lose your job and how you need to work harder and what you need to do better and whether you should be looking for new jobs and so on. Being a 6, especially with Ne, is being an expert at creating variations on a theme: given one point, you expand to a thousand questions - many of which undermine your sense of personal stability.

If you are always responding to something else, you rarely have time to create your own person, to choose your own mood, to chart your own course, and to believe in the stability of yourself and your reality - because to a highly reactive person, reality is always determined by someone or something else. So that is the challenge for a 6: to stop reacting to everything in the environment (for Sx, this means people, especially) and to move to point 9 by understanding that every minor change in your environment does not have to throw your mind into crisis troubleshooting mode. Both 6s and 9s need to be more self-assertive, like 3s, but 6s need to delve into conflict less and trust more, while 9s need to stop denying and avoiding conflict.

Rim over on PerC gave this comparison:

6w7
Zuko.png


vs

9w8
httpimg2blogcucomimagesavaavatarzuzuzukoiroh4jpg-3081.jpg


Which do you feel like more inside? I probably look more smiley-happy-go-lucky on the outside, but inside I'm usually channeling the top picture. More serious, more concerned, hellbent on analyzing everything. My boyfriend once pointed out (rather astutely of him) that it seemed like I saw my life as crisis after crisis. I did! (I do!) I can divide my life up into time segments based on what major problem I was confronting at the time. I can base my week on what minor problems I'm confronting. And that seems totally normal to me... the problems don't seem bad, just pressing. They make me feel nervous and unsteady - because I'm a reactive person.
 

Speed Gavroche

Whisky Old & Women Young
Joined
Oct 20, 2008
Messages
5,152
MBTI Type
EsTP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
6s are a highly reactive type, even when they are phobic.

I agree with [MENTION=5356]Speed Gavroche[/MENTION] that it's highly likely that [MENTION=13609]Hazashin[/MENTION] is a 9w1 sx/sp.

Hey marm, welcome back. :hug:

9s can show 6 traits under disintegration (like fear, anxiety for security, etc.) just like a 6 can show 3 traits under disintegration (look at me! look at me! look at me go!) ...I know for a fact that I disintegrate at a terrible performing, achieving 3 and mellow out and get happier at a inwardly centered, mystical, intimate 9.

Yes, I have a hard time to see Haz on the reactive triad, if I was on the Fight Club, for example and I played the game where you must provoke a fight with someone, I wouldn't choose him because it would be too much dificul, lol. But he's clearly withdrawing.

He doesn't seem like a 6. I think he's just a typical INFP who is shy, lack of assertiveness and self-confidence, is a dreamy emo kid and is candid and naive. That doesn't mean anything about his enneatype. Being anxious and shy and lack of self-confidence =/= being a 6. 9s are often like this too, also are 3s, 7s, 1s, 2s, 4s, 5s, even 8s, every actually.

A 9w1 character is for example J.D, from Scrubs (So/Sx, ENFP), and he shares every characteristics that Haz tells. He's very shy, lack of self-confidence, very dutiful. His point of disintegration is the 6. But he's not a 6. The true 6 is the show is Elliot (ISFJ 6w7 So/Sx), and we clearly see the difference between theses two when they disintegrate, Elliot shows an hypercompetitive and connection to the type 3 that JD doesn't have. Haz is a 9w1 like JD, not a 6w7 like Elliot.

I just have a difficult time believing [MENTION=13609]Hazashin[/MENTION] is an sx/sp 6w7 like I am, even if he's phobic and has Ne instead of Se...I'm on another forum where there are 6w7s and other sx doms, and they're all pretty intense, especially an INTP female who is a mod, she's a 6w7 sx and there's something about her that is a little like me, it's just a vibe thing.

You vibe 9, OP.

I wonder if you are not So/Sx. But whatever. You have clearly more intensity and mental energy than him, and I have a hard time to believe that we could share a similar type. I don't see that. Phobic 6w7 Sx/Sp is Diana Spencer, for example. They are very differents.
 

Viridian

New member
Joined
Dec 30, 2010
Messages
3,036
MBTI Type
IsFJ
If it's any help, Haz, I think I know a character who is a phobic Sx-dom 6w7 - Ron DeLite from the third Ace Attorney game.

 

Rail Tracer

Freaking Ratchet
Joined
Jun 29, 2010
Messages
3,031
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
If it's any help, Haz, I think I know a character who is a phobic Sx-dom 6w7 - Ron DeLite from the third Ace Attorney game.


With my limited understanding of Haz, yes...... Ron IS similar.

Is it bad that in my mind, I was telling Ron to chill? It is very much the same principal with Haz.

It sucks the energy right outta me. :laugh: Even with my random bouts of 6-disintegration, I just can't last like that for long.



Besides that, this would give some more perspective:

Norepinephrine
6 said:
High activity. High anxiety, restless mind, high-strung, over-stimulated

9 said:
Low activity. Low anxiety, deliberate thinking,
 

Hazashin

Secret Sex Freak
Joined
Apr 22, 2011
Messages
1,157
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Misidentifying Sixes and Nines

These types are actually frequent mistyped. Sixes and Nines are both concerned with security and with maintaining some kind of status quo situation. They are both family-oriented, and both tend to take modest views of themselves. Their affect, however, is the easiest way to distinguish them.

In short, Nines like to remain easy-going and unflappable. Nines work steadily at their tasks, but show little sign of being upset by the day's ups and downs. Sixes, on the other hand, cannot easily disguise their feelings. They get more easily worked-up and rattled by mishaps. While Nines can remain silent within their own inner peace, Sixes need to vent with others periodically to discharge their fears and doubts. Sixes are more obviously nervous and defensive when they believe there are problems. Nines remain strangely bland in the face of problems, although beneath the pleasant surface of average Nines, there is stubborn resistance and an unwillingness to be upset or troubled by conflicts or problems. Sixes tend to be suspicious of unknown people and situations–they need to test people before they let them get close. Nines may be protected by the disengagement of their attention, but they tend to be trusting of others–almost to a fault.

Of course, under stress, when moving in their Direction of Disintegration, Nines will begin to act out some of the behaviors of average Sixes, and for this reason, some Nines will mistype themselves as Sixes. But such periods of overt anxiety generally do not last long. As soon as possible, Nines revert to their more easy going approach to things. Compare Sixes George Bush and Dustin Hoffman with Nines Gerald Ford and Jimmy Stewart.

(Source- www.enneagraminstitute.com)

In response to the bolded, I relate much more to the 6. It's hard for me to "sweep things under the rug", and I often have to vent. But I wouldn't say I'm reactive, though. Unless I'm misunderstanding the meaning here.

Seriously though, I get severely discouraged if I fail at something, and I can be quite the pessimist at times (especially in regards to myself).
 

Hazashin

Secret Sex Freak
Joined
Apr 22, 2011
Messages
1,157
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
That's like asking why you have to have Ne to be an xNxP.

4, 6, 8 are the reactive enneagram types. They are called the reactive group.

6 and 8 are two of the most reactive, aggressive types...except 8 is offense, and 6 is defense.

Coping style is reactive for 6 in the thinking triad. Same for 4 in the heart triad and 8 in the body triad.

It sounds like you have social anxiety, and perhaps are an unhealthy 9 disintegrating at 6.

9s are also extraordinarily stubborn (like brick walls, they can be) and dependent. Withdrawal is another typical 9 trait.

You sound like a very depressed and anxious child, not necessarily like a 6. Some of this stuff almost makes you sound like a 4, actually.

Like Marm said, being a non-reactive 6 would mean that you are not a 6, because 6 is essentially the reactive heart of the enneagram. I'm sure you have read how 6s can have a tendency to be followers and latch on to others as opposed to trailblazing on their own, and that ties into reactivity. Essentially what being reactive means is that instead of originating your own thoughts, emotions, and behaviors from the core of your being and your personal drives, you tend to respond to your environment.

This results in your environment playing a huge part in your well-being: especially for a Sexual Six, who will be very attuned to others' energy, your thoughts, moods, and actions will often be based on how someone else has behaved toward you or what someone else thinks of you or how someone else might respond to you - your family, close friends, and significant other in particular. Your mother barking at you in the morning, even on an otherwise good morning, can really upset your mood that day. Your boss asking you to do a little better on a certain project can throw you into a mindstorm of analysis of whether you are good enough at your job and whether you are going to lose your job and how you need to work harder and what you need to do better and whether you should be looking for new jobs and so on. Being a 6, especially with Ne, is being an expert at creating variations on a theme: given one point, you expand to a thousand questions - many of which undermine your sense of personal stability.

If you are always responding to something else, you rarely have time to create your own person, to choose your own mood, to chart your own course, and to believe in the stability of yourself and your reality - because to a highly reactive person, reality is always determined by someone or something else. So that is the challenge for a 6: to stop reacting to everything in the environment (for Sx, this means people, especially) and to move to point 9 by understanding that every minor change in your environment does not have to throw your mind into crisis troubleshooting mode. Both 6s and 9s need to be more self-assertive, like 3s, but 6s need to delve into conflict less and trust more, while 9s need to stop denying and avoiding conflict.

Rim over on PerC gave this comparison:

6w7
Zuko.png


vs

9w8
httpimg2blogcucomimagesavaavatarzuzuzukoiroh4jpg-3081.jpg

Which do you feel like more inside? I probably look more smiley-happy-go-lucky on the outside, but inside I'm usually channeling the top picture. More serious, more concerned, hellbent on analyzing everything. My boyfriend once pointed out (rather astutely of him) that it seemed like I saw my life as crisis after crisis. I did! (I do!) I can divide my life up into time segments based on what major problem I was confronting at the time. I can base my week on what minor problems I'm confronting. And that seems totally normal to me... the problems don't seem bad, just pressing. They make me feel nervous and unsteady - because I'm a reactive person.

Okay, I'm clearly having a different interpretation of the meaning of 'reactive'. I suppose I was thinking in terms of outward, over-reactiveness. For example, if someone were to give you the finger, you would be reactive if you got very visibly angry. See, for me, things of that matter do not bother me. However, other things really do.

I relate very much to what skylights said here:

"This results in your environment playing a huge part in your well-being: especially for a Sexual Six, who will be very attuned to others' energy, your thoughts, moods, and actions will often be based on how someone else has behaved toward you or what someone else thinks of you or how someone else might respond to you - your family, close friends, and significant other in particular. Your mother barking at you in the morning, even on an otherwise good morning, can really upset your mood that day. Your boss asking you to do a little better on a certain project can throw you into a mindstorm of analysis of whether you are good enough at your job and whether you are going to lose your job and how you need to work harder and what you need to do better and whether you should be looking for new jobs and so on. Being a 6, especially with Ne, is being an expert at creating variations on a theme: given one point, you expand to a thousand questions - many of which undermine your sense of personal stability."

In fact I'm wondering what the heck happened to you as a child after reading that. Were you abused? Bullied? It seems pretty extreme. Lots of people are 6's and I can assure you that's not necessarily what their childhoods are like; I certainly wasn't that negative or self-hating.

Yes, I was a pretty disturbed child. I just think I was lonely (especially since I grew up without a mother and didn't have many friends) and I was spanked by my dad a lot (especially for doing bad at school, which I frequently did because I had A.D.H.D.).
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Well then! Welcome to the 6 fold! :hug:
 

Suered

New member
Joined
Jun 8, 2020
Messages
1
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sp
I think I actually relate to every one of your points 😅 But seriously, are you sure you’re not a 4 with a SP subtype??
 
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