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Enneagram experts and wannabes, E9s and E7s come hither! TYPE ME!!

What type should I consider?


  • Total voters
    15

Mal12345

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The thing I keep coming back to is this 'sense of self' business. I don't fully understand how people are supposed to have one and what it feels like. My sense of self seems to be images that I get through the eyes of someone else.

I'm feeling more and more like I can act 7 but my core is 9.

I don't see why you call that a 9 trait, it sounds far more like a 3.
 

Kasper

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[MENTION=5999]PeaceBaby[/MENTION], I did a video, it is the best video you would ever see, but my computer ate it out of jealousy.

This is the first half it that my computer let be as it was totally average, it got way better, you'll have to take my word for it. I mean it was epic.



You know what? I'm starting to believe that you'd learn more about yourself if you try on the E9 skin for awhile (it's quite warm and comfy!) and see where that takes you.

I'm gonna vote 9w8. This is in part because I think you make a compelling if not definitive case for E9, partly because it’s clear that it resonates with you more than E7 right now, and partly because I think you'll learn more about yourself in the long term even if you do turn out to be E7. And since your goal is to learn more about yourself, I say run with it.

So that's my final answer... at least until you create another thread in a few months asking about your enneagram type. :D

I don't create new type me threads, I bump old ones so they seem more epic! :biggrin:

I'm gonna take your advice on trying it on for a while, you're a wise superherodog. Either the parts that I don't relate to will show themselves to be blind spots, or they'll show themselves to be an indication that I'm not a 9, the best way to find out is to take it on board.

Seeing ourselves at the core is always a challenge, and one that ENTPs in particular seem to struggle with. Remember Synarch and his masks – and how other ENTPs tended to agree with his metaphor? Is your struggling more consistent with ENTPness, E9ness, or both? I’m not sure.

No, I didn't remember that, will have to post stalk his stuff to find that.

I do find it interesting how you tackled the E7 fears in your usual, breezy way, but with the E9 fears you became much less verbose. You also didn’t recognize the first two fears or the level 5 fear. There can be several reasons for that, but I do find it notable.

They're too real and icky =/

They're parts of myself that I knew, of course, but wouldn't acknowledge even to myself, let alone others, as then they become real and I become accountable. So I minimise and avoid, if someone raises the topic with me I feel trapped and annoyed so push them away and get grumpy with myself before quickly moving on to forgetting about them again.

Here’s a theory for you to play with: You had a certain stasis at Level 5 for most of your life, with stressful situations causing a downward spiral that seems consistent with level 6 and below. At level 5, your chief defining fear is “Of any significant changes/ disruptions in their world”. Then, you embraced yourself, and did the personal growth required for you to accept and embrace significant change. This self-growth effectively pushed your stasis to level 4. That means your chief fear shifts from fear of change and becomes “Of conflicts (internal and external)”.

If you are E9 and continue growing, then you will soon have to begin learning how to face conflicts, and as you do so you'll begin to recognize how underneath the conflicts, what really throws you off is how your inner world gets all scrambled. I have to admit, I don't fully understand the level 1 E9 fear either. I'm too far removed from it.

Anyway, a lot of that is conjecture and filling in the blanks. Not sure how well that will fit, but it’s something for you to bounce off of your Ne. And yeah, I’m over thinking this, but isn’t that what I’m not getting paid to do? :D

Inner conflict? Or conflict in general? Because I don't know how to recognise inner conflict, at most I recognise myself avoiding reality without good cause, and I don't have conflict with others as my automatic place to be is one of mediation, understanding the other pov and compromise.

What's a healthy way to notice, and then confront conflict?


i have no real idea about enneagram, but i don't think you're a 5.

Does that help?

<---- tries her best.


EDIT: Also, i pressed "7, and bouncyflouncy like tigger", because irl (MY FUCKING MAC KEEPS CHANGING IRL TO URL!!!) you ARE kinda bouncy flouncy like tigger. <3 <3 <3 <3

Tigger is super cool! If I were cool enough to be a pooh character I would pay good money and/or do unspeakable things to bribe the person in charge to let me be Tigger. In part because he has a tail, and in part because he can bounce on it.

Weird tho cause I don't see myself bouncyflouncy, I just have excited & engaged moments where I'm chasing the happy feelings.



I would rather be a 7! than a 9!

Being a 9 makes me the same type as [MENTION=3]MacGuffin[/MENTION] :unsure:


I don't see why you call that a 9 trait, it sounds far more like a 3.

I'm talking about stuff like this:

"We have sometimes called the Nine the crown of the Enneagram because it is at the top of the symbol and because it seems to include the whole of it. Nines can have the strength of Eights, the sense of fun and adventure of Sevens, the dutifulness of Sixes, the intellectualism of Fives, the creativity of Fours, the attractiveness of Threes, the generosity of Twos, and the idealism of Ones. However, what they generally do not have is a sense of really inhabiting themselves—a strong sense of their own identity".​
I find it very confusing and difficult to articulate as I don't know how someone can not have a sense of their own identity... but at the same time when I try to understand mine I don't know what it is. As I cannot see how anyone else does or does not relate to this point I have no idea if my view is normal or different. I find it confounding. Everything that I am in regards to how I see myself is reflections of how others see me, I don't see myself as a chamilion; changing myself to my environment, I see myself as naturally taking on the environment that I'm in and being who the other person expects me to be without ever being inauthentic. I blend into things.

How do you see it as a E3 trait and how do you interpreted what I'm getting at?
 

Mal12345

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[MENTION=5999]
I'm talking about stuff like this:

"We have sometimes called the Nine the crown of the Enneagram because it is at the top of the symbol and because it seems to include the whole of it. Nines can have the strength of Eights, the sense of fun and adventure of Sevens, the dutifulness of Sixes, the intellectualism of Fives, the creativity of Fours, the attractiveness of Threes, the generosity of Twos, and the idealism of Ones. However, what they generally do not have is a sense of really inhabiting themselves—a strong sense of their own identity".​
I find it very confusing and difficult to articulate as I don't know how someone can not have a sense of their own identity... but at the same time when I try to understand mine I don't know what it is. As I cannot see how anyone else does or does not relate to this point I have no idea if my view is normal or different. I find it confounding. Everything that I am in regards to how I see myself is reflections of how others see me, I don't see myself as a chamilion; changing myself to my environment, I see myself as naturally taking on the environment that I'm in and being who the other person expects me to be without ever being inauthentic. I blend into things.

How do you see it as a E3 trait and how do you interpreted what I'm getting at?

Type 9 acquires identity through another.
Type 6 acquires identity through a group or ideology.
But if you see yourself through the eyes of others in general then that is a 3 trait (whether or not you have or lack a sense of personal identity is another question).
 

Kasper

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Type 9 acquires identity through another.
Type 6 acquires identity through a group or ideology.
But if you see yourself through the eyes of others in general then that is a 3 trait (whether or not you have or lack a sense of personal identity is another question).

It's a new question that I haven't asked myself in the past tbh, so I'm not entirely sure where I fall. As a rule I have always sought or appreciated feedback from others to understand how I am percieved so I can know who I am. It's not how I fit into a group, I don't care about that, it's how individuals see me that I pay attention to, I've never been good with understanding group dynamics as I don't get why everyone doesn't just hold hands and get along. Barney is somewhat of a hero of mine :biggrin: "I love you, you love me, we're best friends as friends can be...." well except when he gets all huggy n crap.
 

Mal12345

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It's a new question that I haven't asked myself in the past tbh, so I'm not entirely sure where I fall. As a rule I have always sought or appreciated feedback from others to understand how I am percieved so I can know who I am. It's not how I fit into a group, I don't care about that, it's how individuals see me that I pay attention to, I've never been good with understanding group dynamics as I don't get why everyone doesn't just hold hands and get along. Barney is somewhat of a hero of mine :biggrin: "I love you, you love me, we're best friends as friends can be...." well except when he gets all huggy n crap.

I can definitely read some feeling in that. Except for the part where it might get all huggy n crap. A type 3 wants everybody to get along because it helps accomplish some task.
 

Kasper

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I can definitely read some feeling in that. Except for the part where it might get all huggy n crap. A type 3 wants everybody to get along because it helps accomplish some task.

I'm cool with hugging a dino, it's just that there would always be hug-seeking kids around, and they have sticky hands, eww, never know why they're sticky, just know you don't want to get it on you!

I do dislike OT rambling when there is a task to be focused on, unless I'm the one OT-ing, I also dislike when I am expected to slow down so someone can explain things to me rather then diving in at rapid pace. But I want everyone to get along cause there's no reason not to, we're all different, if you don't appreciate someone's differences don't engage them and get on with your stuff... Actually the main reason I want everyone to get along is because it bothers me when they don't, I really do hate conflict. It's all about me :biggrin:
 

wolfy

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At the end of your video you say that 9 are sensitive to criticism. I've never read that, I thought 9 are more sensitive to things that they feel damage their balance in some way. I can be sensitive to the delivery of criticism. Basically, someone's style can annoy me. Making me angry. I dislike things that anger me so I'll tend to try and find a way to deal with it. But the same criticism with a different style can go down no problem at all.

I think 9 is a very strong gut type. At least that is how it plays out for me. But then, I relate to the Si function in Socionics and in mbti isxp descriptions strongly so that could play a part in how it plays out for me.

To me it seems you are nine, or at least feel that you are and just need to take that final leap to decide.
 

Kasper

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At the end of your video you say that 9 are sensitive to criticism. I've never read that, I thought 9 are more sensitive to things that they feel damage their balance in some way. I can be sensitive to the delivery of criticism. Basically, someone's style can annoy me. Making me angry. I dislike things that anger me so I'll tend to try and find a way to deal with it. But the same criticism with a different style can go down no problem at all.

I think 9 is a very strong gut type. At least that is how it plays out for me. But then, I relate to the Si function in Socionics and in mbti isxp descriptions strongly so that could play a part in how it plays out for me.

To me it seems you are nine, or at least feel that you are and just need to take that final leap to decide.

9s are supposed to be sensitive but tbh I don't know how that is supposed to play out, criticism is simply the way I see most people react with sensitivity, it could simply be a matter of me not reading or understanding that point correctly. Be gentle, it's my first day of being a 9 *innocent eyes*

9s are the gut type that can be really strong there, but also completely out of touch with it. There seems to be a wide range of variety with this type.

Frankly I don't know if I am, or am not in touch with my gut, I know I am in touch with my head, and out of touch with heard but I'm a big bowl of "meh" when I try to figure out how in touch with my gut I am. Must read more on that.
 

wildflower

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hmm, from your vid i got the sense that you are very in your head. i was also thinking before type 6 might be a possibility and i know someone else mentioned that too. are you sure you're not a 6? types 9 and 6 can look quite a bit alike at times. i definitely didn't get a 7 vibe from the vid for whatever that's worth. type 9 is known for a positive childhood relationship with both mom and dad. i believe type 6 is positive toward the father. ok, it is i just checked. type 6 descriptions are hard to understand because the phobic and counterphobic types can come across quite differently imo. also, i don't think anyone identifies with everything in any type description. people are thankfully much more dynamic than a written description of any sort. oh yeah, the bass player i dated briefly was a 6 so you must also be a 6 being a bass player. ;)
 

Kasper

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Lol, you're adorable :biggrin:

I keep getting told to look at 6 left, right and centre so I will, again, but I've always struggled with it and if I could score -ve on E-tests 6 and 1 would both be there. Maybe a 6 can tell me what it's like being them?
 

Kasper

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Any ENTP (or even INTP) E6s here?
 

Asterion

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Only choice left now that we've kind of ruled out 5 and 7. I said this a few times - I can't see you as a 9. What I got was head type, and withdrawing, but not a 6 => 5. 6s can be withdrawing, and they can come in all sorts of flavours, some more aggressive, others very uncertain, some bubbly, some serious. I think they are very realistic though and often involved with the outside world, because they want to know what's out there so they can be sure they are safe. Kind of like an antelope, that stays close to it's predators so that it knows where they are and won't get flanked. I think it could fit you very well.
 

Kasper

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I'm reading up on 6 atm and the hardest part to relate to is the not trusting people and being sceptical. My natural stance is one of automatic trust, it doesn't need to be earned in the first instant, it is a given. When it comes to others I start from a position of they are trustworthy and they are not out to get me in any way, I do not look for ulterior motives, I take everyone on face value unless given a reason not to. If I am given cause to distrust someone it would generally be because they show uncontained anger, I won't do anything about it but re-gaining trust after that is damn near impossible, I'll keep my distance.

From what I've read so far the first part seems to be the opposite of a 6, weather phobic, counter phobic or neither/both.

I also don't have either a push against, or for, authority figures. Seems stupid to me, some people are good with power, others aren't and you can't know who without interacting with them, so why throw out the baby with the bath water. Plus, as I automatically trust I presume good intentions in the first instance.

During my time in the Army I never had an issue with the chain of command, nor others being in a position of authority over me. Some NCOs and officers were worthy of respect, others were not, but if they had rank and were not ordering something unreasonable (never happened) it was simple; respect the rank if you can't respect the individual and follow orders.

Generally, Sixes are reliable, hard-working, organizing, vigilant, dutiful, evaluating, persevering, cautious, anxious, believing and doubting, conservative and liberal.

Sixes get into conflicts by being pessimistic, defensive, evasive, negative, worrying, doubtful, negativistic, reactive, suspicious, and blaming.

Most of that, inc all of the conflicts bit, are not me. Actually you can pretty much use the opposite words and have a better description of me.
 

Kasper

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…watched a few youtube videos on the types: Type 9, Type 5, Type 7.

6 in this series: Came across too serious/heavy for me. Too much over thinking too, I can over think but generally only when something emotionally upsetting is happening, the example one of them used in the video about worrying about every little detail is not me. I can relate to confronting fears front on like the cp6 though. And I can relate to the self-doubt, but I can also be very self-assured at times.

I can see how 9 and 6 have similarities.

Another thing one of the ladies mentioned was the difficulty getting into her body and struggling with things like yoga. I have always looooooved yoga and tai chi for the sense of groundedness it gives me. The best way for me to de-stress is to do something physical, it gives me the greatest high. If it has some kind of 'spiritual' aspect or flow then it's totally for me.


Question: Can an E9 who is out of touch with their gut appear that way to others as well, as in not seem like a gut type?
 

Viridian

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Have you considered 7w6? They can be more light-hearted and conflict-avoidant compared with 7w8s...
 

Kasper

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Have you considered 7w6? They can be more light-hearted and conflict-avoidant compared with 7w8s...

Not particularly, 7 in general is light-hearted enough to fit me, I can see how a 7w6 would fit the conflict-avoidant part better but I'm pretty comfortable with the w8 part of my typing, most importantly though, I don't think that looking at a different wing would account for the main things I'm struggling to relate to.
 

wildflower

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Lol, you're adorable :biggrin:

:smile:

I keep getting told to look at 6 left, right and centre so I will, again, but I've always struggled with it and if I could score -ve on E-tests 6 and 1 would both be there. Maybe a 6 can tell me what it's like being them?

then it probably is 9 for you. i think a good way to type one's self is to just describe yourself without thinking in terms of any particular type you think you might be. your basic personality, what you are like at your best and worst, your interests, hobbies, job/field of study, how you are in relationships, orientation toward parents being positive or negative for each of them and anything else you think is pertinent. kind of like what you did in the OP with pics but rather with descriptive words.
 

Elfboy

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[View post 8 for the real question...]

What E-type would you say the following could represent?

4w5 Sx/Sp 4w5-7w6-8w9
 

Kasper

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i think a good way to type one's self is to just describe yourself without thinking in terms of any particular type you think you might be. your basic personality

I agree, when I start paying too much attention to trying to find a type I focus too much on what type each thing I say fits.

what you are like at your best and worst

At my best I am friendly and compassionate to others, I genuinely care about people and want everyone to be happy. I will sit with anyone and listen to them talk about everything going wrong in their life and offer a non-judgemental ear and sympathetic advice. I generally know what the other person needs and when I don't I ask so I can give them what they want/need, some want to discuss problems, some want to be distracted with fun.

I have great love for people, even strangers, and find them interesting, I want to help others if I can. I see everyone as having great worth, even the assholes that I cannot stand. I seek a deeper connection with people although for the most part I am unable to get this due to a) not everyone being willing to give that kind of depth, b) the often un-reciprocal nature of my caring about their problems not the other way around, and most importantly c) my difficulty letting anyone get close.

At my best I can be focused on what I want in my career, I will put myself out there and take risks trusting that things will work out for the best, and if they don't I know that I will find the bright side and take away something positive and educational. I have a great sense of internal peace and comfort. I seek adventure and new experiences, love life and think everything is simply super-delicious-awesome.

At my worst I cut myself off from everyone, I may still socialise with people and they may think that I am engaged but I'm not. I will pay a lot of attention to not showing anything is wrong. I avoid anything that causes me stress to my detriment allowing small problems to turn into massive issues by not dealing with them in a timely manner, I don't answer my phone, I don't open my mail, I hide away from the world. I cause myself more stress by avoiding and even though I intellectually know it is better to confront and know what the outcome will be I still avoid cause I prefer to pretend everything is okay.

I get frustrated by my relationships with people allowing internal conversations convince me that they are all surface and no one actually cares about me, that I'm not wanted and simply tolerated. I get upset that I push others to talk about their problems when I can see something is wrong and offer a supportive ear but no one can tell when I have problems so I don't get that back, or on the rare occasions when that does happen and someone notices and asks how I'm going I get annoyed that they're prying and want me to talk about things that will cause me to focus on bad feelings. I'm not okay showing negative emotions to others.

your interests, hobbies

They are not consistent, I jump from interest to interest as it grabs me, the most consistent things in my life are sports, music and the never ending quest to understand myself and others. With music, besides of course listening to it, I love going to local gigs and playing bass myself. With sports I only enjoy team sports, the more active (ie football) the better.

job/field of study

I start lots of things then move on to something else shinier. My job is something I fell into after trying to study IT at Uni and realising I didn't like the pay you don't get while studying, I'm good at what I do, competent and it comes naturally to me. A large part of my job is risk assessment and being able to know what needs to be looked at in that regards and also reading people. I am given a lot of responsibility for the finances of a company, if I make a bad call it could potentially ruin a business but I know I am good at what I do and will base all my decisions on sound things so this does not intimidate me, I can make quick decisions when needed but I am comfortable saying no until I have reason to be comfortable with things, I am also comfortable seeking collaboration with others to ensure the best decision for the company's bottom line is made. Building relationships and networking are also big things. I am always learning more about my area of expertise, even if it's not necessary.

how you are in relationships

Bad. I have avoided relationships for most of my life, my last one was something very different, in a good way, but other than that I couldn't handle the feeling of suffocation, or that I was not who they wanted/needed me to be. I would walk away easily and quickly, I don't really know how to articulate how I felt in relationships before my last one but it's closest to the truth to say I was never able to be myself, I was okay being individual and unapologetic but I also had a strong need to be who they wanted me to be, which is why I would walk away as I generally couldn't be. When I left my 'partners' never saw it coming, and didn't understand why I left, they thought things were going great. My last relationship was the first one I'd been in where I knew it was okay to be myself, I knew that was who he wanted me to be, I still had the need to be who my partner wanted me to be but as he wanted authenticity it felt right.

In a relationship I need freedom, autonomy, space, openness and lack of clinginess. Things need to progress slowly, I don't like being invested at a different level to my partner; either more or less. And I constantly gauge where I'm at with them so I can feel secure, if I am uneasy I withdraw very quickly.

orientation toward parents being positive or negative for each of them

That's complex. First and formost I love them both.

I have much respect for my mother, when I was young-young she was very actively engaged in parenting, but as I grew up we had a trying relationship as she was in a bad place with her marriage ending. To me she was overbearing and difficult to please. There were a few years there where as a teenager it was just me at her at home and I can't remember having conversations with her without her yelling at me for something random, for a long time I was very angry and resentful that I would go to school, have a shit of a time for being different so get yelled at and teased there, only to come home and get yelled at some more. I withdrew and stayed withdrawn for about 15 years. I felt I had to be independent and take care of all of my emotional needs myself. Now I see her as wise, ever searching for deeper understanding and a big people lover, she is ESFJ.

I had a good relationship with my father growing up, he's an easy to please INFP who could not be a disciplinarian and would allow me anything I wanted generally, he never really grew up and took control of his life so it's harder to respect him, but I appreciate his easy going nature.

I cannot stand either of them bagging out the other and will walk away very bothered when it happens.
 

Chloi

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:):)youre definately in a 3-6-9 triangle, but i think 9 is the least likely.
youre definately not a 7.

imo :)

you stated image triad issues, dont know why you excluded image triad bc some evidence point to it as well.
 
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