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Do you think my friend is an INFJ?

Simi

New member
Joined
Jul 24, 2011
Messages
100
MBTI Type
ENFJ
So, I'll tell you as much as I can about him.
I'm pretty sure he is an INFJ, but I've never really tried to type anyone so I could be totally wrong.

So, first off, he is really quiet. When I call him shy he denies being shy and claims that he is just more of a listener.
He seems to like to be out with friends, but he doesn't really initiate plans by himself. He sort of just lets plans come to him.
He is a really giving guy, like he will drive anyone, anywhere. He is seriously one of the most considerate friends I have, and he won't accept anything back. I feel really guilty whenever he drives me home because he has to pay for his own gas, he is in high school and doesn't have a stable job because there are seriously no jobs available out here right now.

He is head over heels for my other friend, and I don't mean to say anything bad about her because I love her completely and I really think that she is fun to be around, but she uses him repeatedly. Because he likes her so much, he just lets her use him but it really does bother him. I can tell that he feels really insecure about it.

He also suffers from depression (although you wouldn't be able to tell by just being with him), and he is sensitive to my issues as well. Like we can just discuss with each other how we feel about things and trust that it isn't going to get out.

It also seems like he met a majority of his friends through his younger brother, (the INTP I talked about in another thread) and the INTP seriously thinks that he is hated by the brother I'm trying to type right now.

But back to my main point.
He also has not gone too far with the ladies, I'm pretty sure it's because he is shy but in denial about it. (He isn't ugly or anything. Man I like parentheses!)

I seriously think he would do anything to make anyone happy, although he does have a temper (however short it is, it still exists). He gets upset over being blown off or used and tells me that he is contemplating getting rid of someone, but within a few hours he is totally over it and does nothing.

He is seriously one of my really good friends, I have no problem talking to him or hanging out with him. However, a few of my other friends are scared to talk to him because they don't seem to be able to get to know him.
Like I said, he is just one of those people you have to initiate contact with first before you really get to know them. (If I even said that..)

Anyway, do you think he is an INFJ or any other opinions?
 

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
Simi...nothing in your description jumps-out at me as being distinctly INFJ. This is not to say that he isn't...but all I could really ascertain from your description was that your friend is most likely introverted...(depression can...in many cases...make an extrovert behave in a more introverted fashion). Being introverted, empathetic, giving and kind doesn't automatically = INFJ. In fact, one of the details you provided could possibly point away from the INFJ type in my mind rather than towards it. The part where you said he doesn't initiate plans. The INFJs I have encountered in my lifetime don't seem to have a problem initiating plans...or contact once they consider you their friend. I mean...some of that could be relative...seeing I'm ENFP...and you are ENFJ. But the INFJs I have known irl have been very comfortable with plans and plan-making (I like to play things by ear LOL).

Either way...he could be INFJ...but I can't really tell.
 

Savage Idealist

Permabanned
Joined
Aug 17, 2010
Messages
2,841
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
He sounds more like an f dom to me, specifically a reserved Fe dom. What exactly about him strikes you as Ni+Fe/INFJ?
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
He reminds me of the INFJ guy I know, in that they are both very giving, sacrificing, quiet, submissive, un-initiating, and a bit of a doormat. However, although your friend is, in my opinion, very obviously an Fe-using Feeler and an Introvert (making him IxFJ), I didn't see anything in your first post that said anything about whether he's Ni or Si dominant. He could easily be ISFJ, too.
 

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
He reminds me of the INFJ guy I know, in that they are both very giving, sacrificing, quiet, submissive, un-initiating, and a bit of a doormat. However, although your friend is, in my opinion, very obviously an Fe-using Feeler and an Introvert (making him IxFJ), I didn't see anything in your first post that said anything about whether he's Ni or Si dominant. He could easily be ISFJ, too.

I know you said 'in my opinion'...but I have a lot of regard for your opinion (and I'm learning)...but what in his description made you suspect this individual was an extroverted feeler? I'm just wondering because I know an ISFP and even an INTJ that could fit the description provided.
 

SilkRoad

Lay the coin on my tongue
Joined
May 26, 2009
Messages
3,932
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I seriously think he would do anything to make anyone happy, although he does have a temper (however short it is, it still exists). He gets upset over being blown off or used and tells me that he is contemplating getting rid of someone, but within a few hours he is totally over it and does nothing.

This doesn't sound very xNFJ to me. More xxFP...
 

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
This doesn't sound very xNFJ to me. More xxFP...

Oh God...you are so right! I believe I missed that little bit the first time around...but now that you highlighted it...it just screams...xxFP (in my mind).
 

SilkRoad

Lay the coin on my tongue
Joined
May 26, 2009
Messages
3,932
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Oh God...you are so right! I believe I missed that little bit the first time around...but now that you highlighted it...it just screams...xxFP (in my mind).


Well, I have a friend who I thought for quite a while was a differently-flavoured INFJ from me (she is a textbook enneagram 4...seriously...almost stereotypically so!), but on further reflection (and consultation on this forum, of course :D ) it seems much more likely that she's either INFP or a withdrawn ENFP. She's just like Simi's description above in terms of threatening to cut people out but then getting over it. When I threaten to cut people out, things are very bad, and when I actually do it, it's either over for good, or they will get back in with great difficulty and not for a long time.
 

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
Well, I have a friend who I thought for quite a while was a differently-flavoured INFJ from me (she is a textbook enneagram 4...seriously...almost stereotypically so!), but on further reflection (and consultation on this forum, of course :D ) it seems much more likely that she's either INFP or a withdrawn ENFP. She's just like Simi's description above in terms of threatening to cut people out but then getting over it. When I threaten to cut people out, things are very bad, and when I actually do it, it's either over for good, or they will get back in with great difficulty and not for a long time.

Whoops...I started to send you rep...but I forgot I'm temperarily not repping...but posting! LOL. Exactly to all you said. And I recognized all of what you said as well...as I'm currently a broken-down, withdrawn ENFP...and I have had an INFJ mad at me irl (whoa. that INFJ anger packs a punch LOL!!!)
 

Z Buck McFate

Pepperidge Farm remembers.
Joined
Aug 25, 2009
Messages
6,048
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
When I threaten to cut people out, things are very bad, and when I actually do it, it's either over for good, or they will get back in with great difficulty and not for a long time.

+1 for FP. I may mention an underlying urge to cut someone off to another person I really trust at an early stage of getting fed up, but I definitely don't 'get over' it within hours. Every single little thing that sets off my internal silent alarms about someone (e.g. that I'm being taken for granted) gets noted and I'll grow cold to the person until eventually- if things don't turn around- actually cutting them off. INFJs have a strong tendency to stockpile vague mental notes about things like this. It takes a long time to 'clear the slate' with us.
 
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