Quite sure I'm INxJ... Now wondering if it's INFJ or INTJ?

[paperoceans]

I've been quite reflective lately and I think I have finally settled on a type--although I'm sure sure if I'm one or the other.

I have always considered myself a thinker until recently...

Some thinking has allowed me to realize that I am extremely sensitive to everything and everyone. The smallest things can move me to tears a lot of the time. And it's not out of depression, I'm just very emotional. It has recently come to my attention that I base my decisions on how I feel. I got into three universities this year and I picked the one that "felt" right and disregarded the others because I did not like how I "thought" I was being treated during open house (intuition probably). I seem to drown in my own emotions and make harsh judgment on others based on how they make me feel when I'm around them. If I'm around someone who gives off a weird vibe, I go out of my way to ignore them. I've quit countless jobs because I felt like I was being excluded and felt uncomfortable. All that I'm realizing now isn't all that logical since money is money.

I actually think I'm too emotional at times, although I'm good at hiding my feelings. Although, I do pride myself on being intelligent... But I'm more attracted to literature, music, and art. Music feels closer to me because I hear, see, and feel in music. I also think I'm too worried what people think of me sometimes so I withdrawal a lot.

So confused. Help a girl out

 

[Glycerine]

Have you spent time at the INFJ forum and INTJ forum? You could also check out the subforums at personalitycafe. They might help you out a bit.

 

[Phantonym]

Has anything happened recently that has made you feel more insecure than usual perhaps? Some of the things you mention seem like they're caused by insecurity. Although that might not help you much with typing yourself either way. Maybe you're not depressed by somehow still shaken by something that has made you feel like out of balance or something.

Have you been able to narrow down your enneagram and instinctual variants?

I agree with Glycerine, poke around places like that and it can definitely be of some help at least. Don't fret too much about your type, maybe just take it easy and try to observe yourself in different situations and how you react to things and stuff like that. Can't make things worse anyway and ultimately it's up to you what you do with the information.

 

[paperoceans]

^^I'm actually the opposite. I used to feel very insecure but now I feel extremely confident. Regardless, I do think I'm overly emotional sometimes. I have wandered onto INTP and INTJ forums and I never "got" them. So I often avoided those forums. I'm not sure if it's because I'm not an INTx or what. I didn't know there was an INFJ forum so I'll check that out.

I took an enneagram and I came out as a 4w5. Sometimes I score as a 5 though. Hmmm.

 

[CuriousFeeling]

This sounds very familiar, paperoceans. Generally speaking, INTJs under a great deal of stress tend to become quite emotionally reactive. They tend to become much more moody and temperamental than usual, especially if they are a 4w5, and will likely wish to get their way. One of my female INTJ friends is quite sensitive and is deeply moved by things such as music, or videos that show touching moments. So I wouldn't rule out your emotional sensitivity as being a lack of INTJness. There are also a bunch of INTJ music lovers, writers, etc, so just because you are interested more in the arts and humanities over the sciences doesn't negate INTJ. Rather, it may be likely that you have a well developed Fi.

INFJs on the other hand, under stress tend to become much more withdrawn than usual, and need to spend time alone to recharge. When you are stressed out, and if someone goes into your room, how do you usually feel? The need for them to give you your own space? ("Just go away from me!") Or do you feel paranoid like they are staring over your shoulders? ("What do they want now?") Ni-Fi can seem a bit paranoid under stress (INTJ reaction), whereas Ni-Ti appears more anti-social under stress (INFJ reaction). When there's a task to be done, generally INTJs will become much more irritable if someone stands in their way to get something efficiently accomplished. If someone doesn't know how to do something, the INTJ will become frustrated. INFJs will seek social harmony in order to get a task done, and will be quite sensitive to the inflection of someone's voice when instructions are given out to them. If it's not delivered in a kind manner, INFJs will not be happy and will desire to keep the other person calm. Or do you experience a mix of both?

If anything, go with the description you feel best describes yourself. There are similarities between the types, but there are marked differences too. If you have any other questions, feel free to ask them.

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

Sounds like an Ni-Fi loop. I'll describe more as the words come to me. I would say that the feeling function you use is introverted feeling. It seems like you care about how you feel about things whether than how others should. I'm using your motives for leaving your jobs and picking the correct university. To you you felt like someone was treating you poorly. No logical reasoning means you weren't actually examining the qualities, or reasons why this intuition and these bad feelings were occurring. That's my take.

 

[paperoceans]

Sounds like an Ni-Fi loop. I'll describe more as the words come to me. I would say that the feeling function you use is introverted feeling. It seems like you care about how you feel about things whether than how others should. I'm using your motives for leaving your jobs and picking the correct university. To you you felt like someone was treating you poorly. No logical reasoning means you weren't actually examining the qualities, or reasons why this intuition and these bad feelings were occurring. That's my take.

I actually felt like it was my imagination at first... But they would go out to hang out and never invited me. I think the last straw was when we were at lunch and one of them mentioned that she doesn't have everyone's phone number, which she needed so that she could invite everyone out. She asked EVERYONE at the table instead of me. Felt like a slap in the face and I honestly couldn't believe it. I had my suspicions, but that confirmed it for me. So maybe I did leave for logical reasons... I really do not care if these people did not like me, but I do not believe in being intentionally rude to people like that--so I did not want to work in such a negative and hostile environment. I got sick of them talking about their "awesome" time last night while I'm sitting right there.

Honestly, I don't give a shit if they were going to chill and stuff outside of work. But don't shove it in my face like that--that's just rude >:/ it made me wanna' go King Kong on their asses instead of going in the corner to cry--I'm more of a revenge person. I guess that isn't really feely... Maybe I am INTJ after all !

 

[paperoceans]

This sounds very familiar, paperoceans. Generally speaking, INTJs under a great deal of stress tend to become quite emotionally reactive. They tend to become much more moody and temperamental than usual, especially if they are a 4w5, and will likely wish to get their way. One of my female INTJ friends is quite sensitive and is deeply moved by things such as music, or videos that show touching moments. So I wouldn't rule out your emotional sensitivity as being a lack of INTJness. There are also a bunch of INTJ music lovers, writers, etc, so just because you are interested more in the arts and humanities over the sciences doesn't negate INTJ. Rather, it may be likely that you have a well developed Fi.

INFJs on the other hand, under stress tend to become much more withdrawn than usual, and need to spend time alone to recharge. When you are stressed out, and if someone goes into your room, how do you usually feel? The need for them to give you your own space? ("Just go away from me!") Or do you feel paranoid like they are staring over your shoulders? ("What do they want now?") Ni-Fi can seem a bit paranoid under stress (INTJ reaction), whereas Ni-Ti appears more anti-social under stress (INFJ reaction). When there's a task to be done, generally INTJs will become much more irritable if someone stands in their way to get something efficiently accomplished. If someone doesn't know how to do something, the INTJ will become frustrated. INFJs will seek social harmony in order to get a task done, and will be quite sensitive to the inflection of someone's voice when instructions are given out to them. If it's not delivered in a kind manner, INFJs will not be happy and will desire to keep the other person calm. Or do you experience a mix of both?

If anything, go with the description you feel best describes yourself. There are similarities between the types, but there are marked differences too. If you have any other questions, feel free to ask them.

I'm definitely the paranoid one when I'm stressed. I can be extremely irritable and don't want people breathing down my neck when I'm ~busy. And it usually happens when I'm doing something so it feels like they're spying on me. Hmm...

 

[amerellis]

INFJ. picking a college because it feels right really seems like a very NF thing to do. also I think you sound more like an INFJ than INTJ.