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Help me type my boyfriend.

MafiaAngel180

New member
Joined
Apr 15, 2010
Messages
133
MBTI Type
ENFP
I'm usually fairly good when it comes to typing people. But I am completely at a loss with my current boyfriend. Total loss. I don't know where to begin. I will make sure to list anything I might think is relevent.

First of all, he is younger than by about nine years. He will be 23 this month. (I don't know if this part is relevent or not.)

After high school graduation, he left his family to spend two weeks with a girl he knew from online. He ended up staying there, which broke his family's heart. He and the girl got married a few months later, and two years later they had a child. Apparently he tolerated too much from her before he finally left. He basically put up with a lot before finally breaking.

He is extremely relationship oriented. This is the first guy who I ever met who has been COMPLETELY about me. He always wants to hang out, he puts me first. He is romantic. (Reserved a planetarium for us.) For a little bit, I thought he might be an ENFP like me. But I read him a description, and he said it sounded a lot like me. (Not like him.)

From what I gather, he is the type to rather have a girlfriend than a bunch of friends. He has a fiew, and everyone seems to like him.

He is interested in the health field. Primarily being an x-ray tech. He has some knowledge and interest in cars too. Very S-like things, I think. At one time, he was in school for being an elementary school teacher. He told me he didn't know what he was thinking there.

We get along great. He is very agreeable and laid back. He is fine and completely happy doing anything. So he is all about doing my crazy, spontaneous stuff. He loves hearing me ramble about school and other academic things. However, he doesn't talk much about it himself. Also, it takes him a bit to warm up to new people quickly. He is a bit shy at first.

He enjoys going out, but he doesn't have the need or desire to party much at 23. Maybe once every two weeks he might want to go to a bar. He is happiest spending time with me watching movies and just cooking dinner together at home. He actually helps me clean. (Which I think has occured because I totally praised him when he did it once.) Because he is messy by nature. His bedroom is a total wreck. His finances are a wreck. But he always pays his child support, and he is a great dad despite the fact that he only gets his son every other weekend. He made him a cute Easter basket, he takes him to do things, goes to the park with him.

The only time we have any strain on our relationship is when I get annoyed with him. It only occurs because he is around me so much, so he is bound to see my irritability from time to time. To be quite honest, I'm not used to someone so nice. Or a relationship that comes so easy. So it kind of scares me a little. I do admit though, he lacks in the confidence area.

There is probably something I'm forgetting...but let me know what you think.
 

Mal12345

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Messages
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IxTP
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He's an ISFP seeking self-other merger with a partner. They make great mind readers. "he is the type to rather have a girlfriend than a bunch of friends." Introvert. "He is very agreeable and laid back...he is all about doing my crazy, spontaneous stuff." Perceiver. "His finances are a wreck." (A common ISFP problem.) "He is interested in the health field. Primarily being an x-ray tech. He has some knowledge and interest in cars too. Very S-like things, I think." Yes, very S. "He made him a cute Easter basket, he takes him to do things, goes to the park with him." Looking for F traits in your description, that might be a good one. I don't see any sign of T traits.
 

MafiaAngel180

New member
Joined
Apr 15, 2010
Messages
133
MBTI Type
ENFP
I know two isfps. (My mom being one of them.) The thing those two isfps had in common was they were kind of hippy-ish, I guess you could say. I don't know if that is a common thing amongst the type. But I do know my boyfriend isn't hippy-ish. lol. But then again...I do see some traits that remind me of my mother. (Not how she acts towards me) But how she stayed with my father for too long.

In hindsight, the easter basket was sort of my idea. (I'm a big kid, and he really likes that.) But I do not sense too much "T" in him.

He is seeking self-other merger with a partner? This is very interesting to me. Does this mean that they try to see themselves or find themselves in another?
 

MafiaAngel180

New member
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ENFP
Oooh I just thought of something. The isfps that I do know, seem to need a lot of space. He really doesn't require any of this with me. He wants to see me daily.
 

chickpea

perfect person
Joined
Sep 12, 2009
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INFP
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4w5
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sp/sx
seems isfp
 

/DG/

silentigata ano (profile)
Joined
Mar 19, 2009
Messages
4,602
He's either a very easygoing ISFJ or an ISFP.

I'm leaning more towards ISFJ because I think I'm seeing more Fe than Fi.
 

MafiaAngel180

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ENFP
But my grandmother is an isfj. Her bills are usually paid weeks before they are due. Her dishes are done immediately after dinner. She is orderly both in her lifestyle and in her thinking. He is not. Now I'm even more confused.
 

Mal12345

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The older generation of ISFP is hippyish. Wanting a lot of space doesn't necessarily mean anything. ENFJs for example experience a need for alone time.

I didn't say that the ISFP is always actively seeking merger. At the moment, your boyfriend is with you and in love with you, so that's why he's expressing his type the way you described. But having a trait doesn't require expressing it all the time. ISFPs seek alone time just like any introvert when they lose energy for socializing. Being in love increases the potential for energy, which means being with you 24/7. There are always other factors to consider beyond personality type, the types act differently under different circumstances. As years go by his need to find some alone time will become greater as the initial thrill of being in love wears off.
 

/DG/

silentigata ano (profile)
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But my grandmother is an isfj. Her bills are usually paid weeks before they are due. Her dishes are done immediately after dinner. She is orderly both in her lifestyle and in her thinking. He is not. Now I'm even more confused.

Not all J's are organized. It's just assumed so because the judging function is extraverted. However, unlike Te, Fe isn't as focused on organization.

Besides, my ISTJ dad is basically a huge hoarder. I think it's because of his Si+Fi.

Maybe this will help...

Is he more rooted in the past, present, or future?

Is he annoyed or uncomfortable when things change unexpectedly?

Can he be impulsive at times or is he usually the level-headed one in the situation?
 

Mal12345

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Here's a nice document describing the ISFP

People with ISFP preferences have a great deal of warmth, but may not show it until they
know a person well. They keep their warm side inside, like a fur-lined coat. When they
care, they care deeply, but are more likely to show their feeling by deeds rather than
words. They are very faithful to duties and obligations related to things or people they
care about.
They take a very personal approach to life, judging everything by their inner ideals and
personal values. They stick to their values with passionate conviction, but can be
influenced by someone they care deeply about. Although their inner loyalties and ideals
govern their lives, ISFPs find these hard to talk about. Their deepest feelings are seldom
expressed; their inner tenderness is masked by a quiet reserve.
etc.
 

MafiaAngel180

New member
Joined
Apr 15, 2010
Messages
133
MBTI Type
ENFP
To answer your questions...he is more rooted in the present, and change doesn't bother him so much. He is level headed when it comes to anxiety situations. However, he is impulsive when it comes to making decisions and buying things.
 

King sns

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Without having read other responses, it's a toss up for me between ISFP and ISFJ
 

King sns

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To answer your questions...he is more rooted in the present, and change doesn't bother him so much. He is level headed when it comes to anxiety situations. However, he is impulsive when it comes to making decisions and buying things.

Sounds more on the ISFP side, based on this.
 

Inconnue

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Apr 29, 2011
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But my grandmother is an isfj. Her bills are usually paid weeks before they are due. Her dishes are done immediately after dinner. She is orderly both in her lifestyle and in her thinking. He is not. Now I'm even more confused.

Well, typing people doesn't mean that we have to deny their individuality.
 

Randomnity

insert random title here
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sp/sx
isfj, maybe isfp
 
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