@Elfboy
(Oh, and I can't pick between So/Sx or Sx/So, so thanks in advance to whoever helps me identify my variant)
Ever since I was born I was meant to be "great." It's my family, our history, yadda yadda yadda. But as a little baby you don't realize these things, all I wanted was to perform. I loved being the first-born of my generation, and I relished in the praise, attention, and love I received. I was so used to getting whatever I wanted, or just being the center of attention, that as I got older it felt strange not always being thrusted into the limelight. Unfortunately, all kids go through a "chubby stage" and when that happened for me, it took my confidence and my slimness with it. I was made fun of for my appearance (acne, weight, the whole package) and I started to realize that I was "flawed." Before you start to think that was because of development--I was always a tad bit insecure. Whenever I started something new I was afraid I'd mess up. Like my father, I need to perfect my skills INDEPENDENTLY, before I could ever dream of performing them in front of a live audience (See? It's sly! You make it look like you're just good at anything--but you merely practice in private so nobody sees you fail
).
Anyway, even as a youngster I'd sit in the school's bathroom and think "I'm always misunderstood. That's why my friends get mad at me." Yes, I loved being with people but I also felt like being around them was like trying to be someone I wasn't because I was just TOO DIFFERENT. And the more I felt alienated and
under appreciated, the more I tried to win other people's respect, praise, and admiration. I'd sneak in my accomplishments here and there.
As time went on, I became very focussed on my appearance. I had lost the weight, guys started to "notice me," it was a nice transition! Still, I felt nobody really knew what I was going through internally. I longed to make a stamp on this world, to be an icon. I wanted to be recognized. So whenever somebody else had that attention that I thought I deserved--the little green monster took over. I hate being jealous, it tears me apart. It tears my friendships apart! And I find that I'm being conflicted with vanity and insecurity. One minute I feel like I'm the greatest and can do anything--the next I'm this sore loser who should just die.
I feel like the above reflects a lot of 3 and 4 traits. Here's why I identify with 6 and 7:
I was extremely attached to my mother as a child. When I started hitting the age where I could be left home alone and supervise my little brother (I was still fairly young), I would FLIP OUT. If she didn't call back, or she didn't come home at exactly 6:30, I would assume the (imaginative) worst. And my insecurities have come a long way with me, especially in the social realm. I find that if anyone harms my "self-image," I have to eliminate them from the social hierarchy--you know, asking around to see how "popular" they are--stuff that only happens to me when I'm very paranoid. And I guess the 7 traits would be that I need to be stimulated because if not, I go back to thinking too much and getting depressed about how I'm not doing anything at the moment, other people have more freedom than I do, and I start to hate myself. I'm very conflicting when it comes to emotions. Sometimes I just want to leave the situation and cry it all out. And other times I try to avoid my feelings (especially to keep a good front when people are present) by distracting myself.
Any other questions?
If this was not thorough enough I'd be happy to answer
your tritype sounds like 3-7-1 but I could be wrong about this
