INFJ or ENFJ?

[MonkeyGrass]

I've tested INFJ for quite some time now...though my introversion has always been very weak, I've never really questioned the results, because introverted intuition makes so much sense to me, and much of the INFJ description resounds. In person, I usually have an uncanny handle on the emotions of others, even when it's not obvious to everyone else, and my inner life is very rich.

However, I also acknowledge that being drained constantly by parenting probably skews both myself and my self perception. In the past few months (now that I'm getting more sleep, and operating more like my pre-children self I've had quite a few people call me things like: outgoing, persuasive, charismatic, very confident, charming. Someone actually told me I'd missed my calling as a saleswoman, and meant it as a compliment.

I realize that INFJs can definitely have those qualities, but in conjunction with having my supposed introversion questioned repeatedly, too, I read up more on ENFJs. A lot of it makes sense.

I can strongly relate to seeing patterns in life and relationships, and being something of a mystic, emotionally. I can also be pretty (judiciously) outspoken, and feel literally propelled to make peace in a room and put others at ease...and generally am really relationally adept and silver tongued while doing it. And walk away feeling fairly buzzed from what I'd consider a successful (my goals wise) conversation.

I realize I'm more than a group of letters. However, I'd love to be humored by your thoughts!

 

[Usehername]

I've never met an ENFJ irl who didn't try and convince me that they were "barely" an extravert, because they needed so much alone time, and had a lot of intraverted qualities. I think ENFJs burn so brightly and are so focused on others' feelings, they need more refueling time than some other extraverts who aren't as emotionally knotted into other humans.

For you personally? I think it'd be difficult to discern from only knowing you online.

 

[Fidelia]

From what I know of you, I'd say INFJ. However, that could be influenced by life circumstances and energy levels at this time. You don't strike me as being as outspoken on here as I see many ENFJs are. Many ENFJs also seem to have a protective layer that keeps a lot of people at arms length a little bit, which I don't feel from you. It's warm, but it doesn't allow the ENFJ to unleash their feelings on most people, I think out of a fear of being too intense.

 

[MonkeyGrass]

I struggle strongly with being too intensely knotted to other people, for sure. I'm a people pleaser, and it's mostly because I literally experience what they're feeling...so if they're comfortable, so am I. However, if something goes against my ideals enough, I'll go toe to toe with a person, and try to argue them down to the dirt, albeit in a way that I know they'll be able to receive and understand. The things I fear most in myself are the ability to be manipulative and arrogant. I work really, really hard to make sure I'm not.

The not being too outspoken is partially a willful choice. I tend to be pretty careful how/where I expend my energy (because when I do, I do it BIG), and I tend to avoid trying to waste a lot of time getting into heated disagreements online. That, and cutting responses hurt my feelings more than I really care to admit, even if I can write the other person off as having some character flaw. I still take it to heart.

I find that my intense enthusiasm for subjects of interest tend to either attract or repel others. I'm not constantly in a state of being "on" that way, but when I am, I am conscious that I take up a lot of presence/space in a room. I have no issue with being the center of attention for what I consider a good cause, and often command it on purpose. (Not that I don't need time to recharge later, but I also don't loathe the experience..)

So what would be the main differences between INFJs and ENFJs?

 

[Arclight]

Fid has a Point.. ENFJs are intense INFJs and INFJs are reserved ENFJs..

If you place their profiles side by side, they share very many of the same qualities They are practically mirror images ..

It's all in the intensity of things.

 

[MonkeyGrass]

Arclight-that's actually really helpful for me...thinking about the two types as a continuum, rather than two seperate animals altogether. That makes a *lot* of sense to me, actually.

fidelia IS a smart cookie. (I've missed you woman...need to stop falling off the face of the planet. But, you know...things to conquer, paradigms to shift...)

totally off topic: I keep misreading your sig line as "building the perfect breast". And I keep thinking, well...while you're at it, you might as well make it a matching set.

 

[Arclight]

totally off topic: I keep misreading your sig line as "building the perfect breast". And I keep thinking, well...while you're at it, you might as well make it a matching set.

Happy to help..

OH!! and something else.. INFJs with tert Ti and dom Ni tend to have a more global perspective.
ENFJs with tert Se and dom Fe have a more local view.

INFJs start from the wide end of a cone and work towards it's point.
ENFJ starts from the point and works towards the wide end of the cone.
You end up with the same picture,or goal, you are just going about the process in different directions..

When an ENFJ and INFJ work together in harmony, it is perhaps the most synergistic combination out there.

If you are kind of teetering on the edge, as you suggest.. You are most likely a very dynamic person.

A Balanced xNFJ would be a force, I imagine.

 

[Elfboy]

Fid has a Point.. ENFJs are intense INFJs and INFJs are reserved ENFJs..

If you place their profiles side by side, they share very many of the same qualities They are practically mirror images ..

It's all in the intensity of things.

I'm gonna disagree with this. I think INFJs can be VERY intense. take for example Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr., Wyatt Earp (Tombstone), Battousai the Manslayer (Rurouni Kenshin), and several revolutionary leaders and mad scientists. INFJs are calm and serene on the outside, but on the inside it's like RAWWWWWR! introverted intuition is a very intense realm.

 

[Arclight]

Well if it's on the inside, only the INFJ, or maybe a very observant person, knows it exists.
Then others would say that INFJ are more reserved than ENFJs.. People will only see what you show them.. and then you shouldn't be offended, if they don't know the real you.. .. anyway I didn't say INFJs weren't intense.. I said ENFJs are intense INFJs , and in comparison to each other ENFJs are more intense..

Look at Aldolf Hitler and Jesus Christ. INFJs fight for a cause.. ENFJs are the cause LOL

 

[Elfboy]

Well if it's on the inside, only the INFJ, or maybe a very observant person, knows it exists.
Then others would say that INFJ are more reserved than ENFJs.. People will only see what you show them.. and then you shouldn't be offended, if they don't know the real you.. .. anyway I didn't say INFJs weren't intense.. I said ENFJs are intense INFJs , and in comparison to each other ENFJs are more intense..

Look at Aldolf Hitler and Jesus Christ. INFJs fight for a cause.. ENFJs are the cause LOL

1st bold: several NFs (self included) tend to fall into that category of very observant people
2nd bold: not necessarily true. seeing into people's minds is often something I'm quite good at =) NFs do it via intuition and introspection, but any type can learn to do it via advanced body language reading (ie reading micro gestures that are difficult if not impossible to control deliberately).

 

[Arclight]

Yes I know Good Sir.. I am speaking in general.. I see into people quite well also.. My point is simply.. on the surface of things, INFJs are rather subdued in comparison to ENFJs..