There is a poetry to this thread that is beautiful.
I have seen none other like it...
The ironic thing is, whenever I ask him a question, he gives me a long explanation, and then I end up saying "So, do you mean ____?" Even my INTJ grandfather was long-winded!
Then he wants you to understand.
Indeed. When the "Aha!" moment happens, and I get what he's saying, it's a great feeling. I feel like I've learned something.
The difference between stating your opinion and explainig it is, for me, like the difference between evaluating a picture and giving an accurate picture description: while the conclusion is the same, the latter is much more laborious. Most people, however, need the description to see that the conclusion is correct.
I was going to offer my own take on the matter, but I'm not sure it will surpass this.
All I will add is that there is Te-getting-things-done mode, and then there is NiTeFi-explanatory mode.
Those are two very different things, and, imo, are related to the two modes Nicodemus just explained.
Te mimicking Fe... this concept has me intrigued. What are some ways that Te can mimic Fe?
I've noticed this too. Way noticed. INTJs can be extremely polite. It's almost better, because it's more rational. But there is a big difference. INTJ polite is civil, measured, restrained, rational, and effective. INFJ polite has a warmth and a nurturing quality to it, even when the INFJ seems more T-ish. I can "feel" the difference. INTJ is a bit cooler, can even be chilly.
Yep, his politeness feels more from a restrained, civil point of view. He doesn't tend to bond instantly with people. Frustrates quite a few of my xSFJ friends.
I can sense warmth in him, but it isn't out there in the open.
If he were an INFJ, he'd probably get along with the SFJ friends just fine...
Yeah yeah...they have warmth in them, surely. But with INFJ it seems more pertinent to either bond and/or understand, and not just with a few particular chosen people.
I've noticed that INTJ can really want to teach, instruct, or help you in some practical way. Their advice-giving is more concise and directive. INFJ is going to be more concerned with the presentation of their advice, and they want to guide, and they stop and check that you're on the same page or they aren't offending you...I think it's interesting what you said in an earlier post about the children, about you having all those particular ideas on how things should go for them, and him being more detached and letting them be but wanting to teach them. That makes sense.
Yeah, well explained Marm.
To answer your question Curious (sorry, somehow forgot to...): I think there's two ways of looking at it. The description Marm has given actually touches on both.
First, there's Te's recognition of Fe codes of conduct, or standards of behavior. The Te-user won't necessarily be drawn to the standard in the same way as an Fe-user, but they can recognize it, and choose whether or not to abide by it; second, there's the Te-user's desire for things to go smoothly, efficiently, and without a hitch, and this can either by itself, or in conjunction with the first, develop into the sort of behavior amongst INTJs described by Marm. It often seems to be tinged with a sort of honor or integrity, which, in my opinion, has to do with all of the above, plus a bit of Fi chiming in, declaring that what the individual is doing is in accord with their authentic being.
But, in response to your theory...
I think you might have a point, here. Perhaps children that develop Fe as Ni users are looking for acceptance in their community? Perhaps they fear some form of retaliation against them, so they want to be as accommodating as possible?
Awesome that you mentioned that independently, cuz the bolded is exactly what I was thinking.
I actually wrote it down, but then deleted it, as I didn't want to derail the thread by unnecessarily attacking Fe.
I hadn't even gotten to thinking of the bolded and underlined, but it would seem to be accurate as well...
Interesting concept though, that people develop judging functions as a defense/ coping mechanism.
Oy, there Ti! Don't start making first principles
too fast!
I haven't thought about this enough with regards to the other types (nor even Ni-doms), so I don't want to start trumpeting its truth too quickly...
Can't seem to fight the Fe instinct. 
