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ENFJ vs ESFJ

girlnamedbless

New member
Joined
May 19, 2007
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186
MBTI Type
ESFJ
The main differences between ENFJ and ESFJ

Okay, now I'm confused. I mean, I've always tested as an "S" whenever I take these tests.. but it's usually about 53% S. Maybe it's the questions.. most of the online tests ask if I like theories and wonder about humanity. I don't, but does that automatically make me an S?
I can read both the ENFJ and ESFJ profiles and see how they both fit me.
ESFJ: like tradition, structure, and people
ENFJ: avoid problems, and center their lives around relationships, and have good communication skills.
These are the main points that fit me. So I ask all of you to answer: What are the main differences between an ENFJ and ESFJ?
As I stated they both really like people.. and I agree that I am a people person. However, I KNOW how to get someone to do what I want.. at the same time, I do avoid problems in relationships (ENFJ). My mom always jokes around about me being a lawyer because I know how to persuade people. However, I still value structure and security as much as the next SJ. Is it possible to be a true "X" (be 50/50 on the S/N) or do I still prefer one?
Thanks in advance for your input. :)
 

Economica

Dhampyr
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
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2,054
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INTJ
My personal tentative test for ENFJ/ESFJ is very vibe-oriented and has to do with whether I feel like the EFJ 'sees through' people or not. It's very much in the eyes; the two ENFJs I know well (one male, one female) both look at people like they're seeing something that's deep underneath the surface whereas the ESFJs I know (quite a few) don't have that look of extraordinary perception. They're smooth, but they don't have the ENFJ advantage (or disadvantage when Ni is off) of reading unstated feelings and motivations into the subtlest of behavioral clues.

I'm :unsure: whether that's helpful to you or not but it's all I've got apart from armchair theorizing.
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
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One major difference is that ESFJs tend to be more more practical than ENFJs.
ESFJs like to get things done, ENFJs focus more on seeing others actualize and have a little more flex.

So, for a specific example, homeschooling moms who are ESFJ are very much into accomplishing concrete tasks, having tangible things to show, knowing exactly what the kids are being taught, making sure everything adheres to the plan, etc., more likely to focus the "proper" way to do school and discipline.

Homeschooling moms who are ENFJ tend to be more relaxed, go-with-the-flow, and are responding to the intangibles of the child and what is being learned. They might not adhere to schedule so much because of this and cannot delineate as clearly what the child has learned... but the goal is the "inner formation" of the child, which is not as easily testable.

I think ENFJs are a little more likely to get "floozy" or esoteric; ESFJs are so anchored in the real world that they really do accomplish a lot. But obviously the background of the ENFJ in question can really get them anchored in the "real world" too... and an ESFJ who grew up without practical structure or a good family can be very scattered or undisciplined.

And yes, the ENFJ is much more likely to operate off vibes and implications; the ESFJ is much more likely to respond to exactly what people say and do.
 

Kiddo

Furry Critter with Claws
Joined
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Messages
2,790
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OMNi
Well if you believe in that whole ordered function thingy...

ESFJ = Fe, Si, Ne, Ti

Si -- Introverted Sensing. Very routine, habitual, and boring. It's based on a desire to do things the way they've always been done... day after day, year after year, century after century. Obviously, people with this function dislike change. They accept things without question, and preserve what's familiar, and often try to align things with their internal idea of what things are supposed to be like, garnered from early experiences. But the plus side is, they have good memories, and are very organized and conscientious people. If you want something done a certain way with no questions asked, they are your best resource.

ENFJ = Fe, Ni, Se, Ti

Ni -- Introverted Intuition (not Nickel, which I know is what you thought). Allows you to see ideas from different perspectives, as well as have unusual insights or hunches that are often useful. And for the last time, it does NOT make you psychic (normally).
 

chatoyer

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May 1, 2007
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N bias

I protest the use of that Si definition, that has the worst N negative spin! I know there are some more neutral definitions of Si, like this one: Introverted Sensing
 

Economica

Dhampyr
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INTJ
I protest the use of that Si definition, that has the worst N negative spin!

I agree; I know this is off-topic, but shouldn't all the definitions in our FAQ be equally negative/satirical? (I know I sanctioned them. I'm afraid I was skim reading. :doh: :blushing:)
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
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I protest the use of that Si definition, that has the worst N negative spin!

*coyly* But what if someone enjoys being called predictable, boring, and insufferably punctual?

I agree; I know this is off-topic, but shouldn't all the definitions in our FAQ be equally negative/satirical? (I know I sanctioned them. I'm afraid I was skim reading. :doh: :blushing:)

Oh, fu....dge!!!!

Sigh. Yes, we'll have to review them, to make sure they all receive equal treatment. I remember being "out to lunch" when that list went up, focused on real life for a bit, so I did not really examine it closely.
 

Randomnity

insert random title here
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I agree; I know this is off-topic, but shouldn't all the definitions in our FAQ be equally negative/satirical? (I know I sanctioned them. I'm afraid I was skim reading. :doh: :blushing:)
I noticed that when they were first approved, but I guess I was too apathetic to complain. Probably mostly because I didn't think the list would be something that people would actually seriously refer to, rather more of a satirical type-mocking. It clearly reflects the biases of the user who posted them, rather than being as objective as they could (idealistically) be. Realistically I guess that will almost always be the case, though.
 

Kiddo

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Probably mostly because I didn't think the list would be something that people would actually seriously refer to...

:blush:

I could sense the bias but I was too lazy to come up with my own descriptions or search for other ones...so meh.
 

Randomnity

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:blush:

I could sense the bias but I was too lazy to come up with my own descriptions or search for other ones...so meh.
Sorry, I didn't mean that as an attack on you at all if it came across that way. I meant more that I clearly misinterpreted the purpose of the list.
 

The_Liquid_Laser

Glowy Goopy Goodness
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ESFJ's will primarily derive their values from treasured experiences in the past, and want to adhere to these instead of revising them based experiences and ideas that they've encountered in adulthood.

Additionally the Ni of the ENFJ will manifest itself in different ways such as making elaborate plans over things which might seem trivial to most other people. There are other differences between ENFJ and ESFJ of course, but they tend to be more subtle.
 

Shimpei

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ENFJ: diplomatic, chameleonlike person
ESFJ: totally sincere, sometimes even blunt
At least that's the biggest difference between my ENFJ and ESFJ pals.
 

Xander

Lex Parsimoniae
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From personal experience.

On a mission :-
ESFJ = Bullet. From A2B through anything as necessary.
ENFJ = Whirlwind. Every last frickin thing seems to have moved afterwards. The kings of the hasty tidy up :D
 

Shimpei

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From personal experience.

On a mission :-
ESFJ = Bullet. From A2B through anything as necessary.
ENFH = Whirlwind. Every last frickin thing seems to have moved afterwards. The kings of the hasty tidy up :D

ENFH? What's that H for? :)
 

Lookin4theBestNU

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Apr 23, 2007
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When I look at it this seems to be the main difference: primary focus. I am damn near obsessed with people's goals, motivations, intentions and anything related to their psyche (if they interest me). ESFJs can look like ENFJs to a certain degree. If you don't pay attention I think they could be confused. I've spoken with ESFJs about all of these things. They tend to be great listeners and have some interest for awhile. The general response is "you think too much" or my favorite that makes me giggle "that's deep stuff". The fact is that I'm not trying to be 'deep' when I am with them. I think I'm actually just holding out hope that I can find someone with an avid interest to all that's hidden in the way people work to share all that's swimming around in my head!

Here is another difference in the ESFJ and ENFJ that you should be able to spot one from the other easily. I've been accused (solely by the ESFJs more then a few times) that I am "stuck-up". They are much more open to talk to strangers and tell them things that I gasp at the thought of saying. When I first meet someone I am very reserved. It's not that I think I am better or anything but over time I have learned to be much more careful who I talk to. I am watching them very closely, reading their body language and listening for what information they volunteer. "You didn't even really talk to so & so when they came to start talking to you.... what's wrong they were friendly!" <<<ESFJ SIL. This started quite a little spat between her and I. I don't care if someone is friendly it doesn't mean I trust them!!! I'm not 'required' to speak due to some Fe law. In short Fe in fact has completely different undertones, and the way things should work between the two types views.

Another good way to tell an ESFJ from an ENFJ is that ESFJs need to be needed as all guardians are. It's obvious in just about everything they do to me anyway. They will often have a list in their mind of what they've done for a person. I don't think it's in terms of debit or credit...it's just that they show caring and love through doing things for people. They spend quite a bit of time on the phone too :).

Lastly, the ENFJ & ESFJ both tend to be advice givers or at least have a view on a subject which if asked neither seem reluctant to share. However you can tell from the advice given which one is. I had the experience of working with ESFJs in every single job I've had. It's funny because depending on the "issue" people would go to us for different things!! I was deeply fascinated by this and by the types that would ask what :). Anyway ENFJ views are usually going to be centered not on the concrete steps needed to fix whatever is wrong. The ENFJ is going to care more about what mentally needs to take place.

This is all my opinion:). I am not speaking for all ENFJs. If I need to clarify anything I will be happy too. I like ESFJs for the record!!
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
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Links for comparison...

ENFJ Profile

ESFJ Profile

In reviewing the two profiles a few things stand out...

Both are driven to take care of others and can be easily hurt. Both can neglect their own needs in favor of others and can take on too much responsibility.
The ESFJ is guards the outer person from temporal harm, filling temporal needs, acknowledging birthdays and anniversaries.
The ENFJ guards the inner person, inspiring people to grow into their potential.
 

prplchknz

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yupp
one of my friends who had pegged as an ESFJ also seems very ENFJ so how do they look similar and how do they look different, any ExFJ input would be lovely btw. I'll post a description of her later. or just start asking questions and I'll answer them best I can.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
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Interesting, my dear Purple Chickens. :)

I have two ESFJ friends. They're only superficially like me.

One of them once told me (while giving me a big squeeze) that I was a stormy girl, but she loved me for it. lol :D

Observations:

ESFJs - honestly and truly optimistic (think Charlotte from "Sex and the City"); child-like openness (not idiocy, just not easily jaded); resistant to mean people and deeply hurt by exclusion; very group oriented; true "host/hostess" types that draw energy from that sort of mixing; very deeply held belief in the goodness of others; overly perky/enthusiastic at times; romantics with a capital R; sustainer of the time-honored tradition

ESFJs, in a good vein, are some of the most accepting people I've ever met and are very concerned with fair play.

ENFJs - moodier; morbid humor; uninterested in keeping a party going (more wanting to socialize than organize); very interested in abstract thought; not particularly concerned with "wine and roses" displays from mates; disconnected from the physical environment in general (esp in comparison to their S counterpart); not hyper; intractable; eruptive or ferocious, even when not under pressure; empathically jacked into just about everyone around them

I've had ESFJs comment in wonder that ENFJs are way more bloody-minded and have a weird removal or separateness from their environment.

And I don't propose to speak for all ENFJs here. It's just easier to type it this way. It's just my experience.
 
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