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What type is Sy?

FDG

pathwise dependent
Joined
Aug 13, 2007
Messages
5,903
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
7w8
ENFp, just...male. By the way, Ataraxia is an extremely Fi-centered philosophical attitude, in my opinion (especially its epicurean version).
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
.

If there is one thing that is more accurate than arrogant or judgmental for me...it's lacking faith that others put as much thought as I do into their opinions. I don't just believe in it though...it seems I'm constantly proved right which in turn makes feel more lonely and bitter and adamant about being aggressive with people and urging them to think and to stop hurting each other etc. Murder and rape are covered by law...so I try to go deeper...you could call me morally pedantic I guess.

Trust me, I'd love to know how to not be though. It doesn't bring me any joy...and in my self-importance I guess it makes me think of that phrase "ignorance is bliss". It's a burden trying and being morally perfect. But what is the choice? How can I want an ideal world if I don't try being ideal myself?

Ahhh..I'd say you've got a case of perfectionism ;)

See, yeah, we do things the same way then and for the same reasons, I just focus on understanding instead of striving for the Truth and achieving that. Trust me, I admire your energy, and I used to have some of that myself, but I've gotten to the point where I realize that to attain that ideal is difficult at best. You say that people won't be nice to others if you don't call them on their acts and are aggressive about it...I disagree. I reserve that attitude as last AND while I won't excuse their behavior, I'll understand first where they're coming from, as that will allow me to argue within their logic, and take away any fears, causing a longlasting change, instead of just a fear response to me as I'm being aggressive, effectively either making them resent me and rebel or only behaving when I'm around. Now, clearly you cannot win with my approach either with everyone and so it will never be perfect. That's something I've learned to live with. I figure that if we're already two steps closer instead of not at all, it's already a victory. Next time, we'll take another two steps.

I've found that being constantly disappointed coz people are the way they are is tiresome, robs me of my energy and makes me depressed and angry. I hate that feeling. I prefer to lower the bar a bit and encourage people to communicate better with each other, to help out if I can, so they steadily but surely go the right way (now I'm sounding pedantic, but I do mean this in the best way possible :doh:).

Interestingly...I think we can learn from each other. I'd say I need to adopt your approach more often as I often give people the benefit of the doubt too long, allowing them to waste my time and take advantage when I should just be firmer. I do believe that when diplomacy fails, shock-therapy like that can wake them up, but I fail to see when to give up (it's like admitting failure to me :D). On your side, I'd say that you'd probably be less disappointed if you allowed people to grow and set the bar a little lower so they can actually reach it...use a carrot, instead of a stick? ;)
And to check why they do things, try to understand, negotiate about it, even if you have another opinion. It can allow for bridges to be forged that are mutually beneficial and creates a ton of goodwill with the other person, which often results in them genuinly being swayed (as well as taught) to handle things in the way you suggested :)
 
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