XNXP? So lost!

[Lokispother]

Let me preface this by saying I usually score ENFP on tests and inventories and whatnot. However, I have been looking into MBTI types for, what, two years now and have still not settled on any one type that I feel completely fits.

However, I have some issues here. I often see ENFPs described as bubbly and naively cheery. I really don't think this fits me. I mean, I'm not clinically depressed but I'm somewhat of a cynical guy. To be honest, I think I'm too mean and sadistic for ENFP I get really vengeful and bitter when I feel threatened and I definitely have shown an unsympathetic and unforgiving side in the past. In arguments I get really brash and purposefully say things I know will hurt or piss off people. So does this make me an ENTP? I do like toying with people and i love arguing but I don't feel like I'm completely T either because I still relish strong and powerful emotions, thrive on the new and the nover and I feel like I'm a little more in tune with feelings (whether that be my own or other people's) than ENTP lets on. And if I'm being honest about negative behavior, I really do have a fundamental need to have everyone like me, which I've seen attributed to ENFPs before.

Then I worry about I vs E.
I am shy when I first get to know someone, but I think this is mostly because I am very self-conscious and worried that I'll make a mistake. Ok, so that seems really I, but after taking that into account there's the fact that there's nothing I hate more than being alone and bored. Interacting with other people is infinitely interesting to me, if not essential to my life, and I never get tired of hanging out with friends/going out.
So I'm recharged by social interaction. But I'm still not running around and easily talking to strangers- I'm terrified of being judged by people I don't know, like I said. So I probably seem really shy when I first meet people, especially if they intimidate me, but I really do not tolerate being alone and not having someone to talk to well.

So am I ENTP? ENFP? INFP? (I'm pretty sure I'm not INTP just from reading summaries of the type, but who knows)

Or am I just some monstrous alien with no real personality at all? When I take these tests I'm always so indecisive and worry that I'm answering how I want to answer rather than how I truly am (there's that P- I'm sure of that letter, haha).

Thanks, guys- I've lurked for years but never have made an account before today! Just getting so frustrated.

 

[pseudoku]

One of my friends always scores ENFP, he comes off as shy at first, he's very dorky, and is definitely not bubbly. Playful, yes, definitely, and also tends to focus on the "dark side" a bit, but F/T depends more on what you consider when making decisions then how much of a douchebag you are although us Ts tend to be douchier than Fs in most cases, it's not necessarily the rule.

So, ENFP might be right. As for E/I... I'm struggling with this myself so I don't trust myself in giving you an good opinion.

 

[Eric B]

I started out wearing XNXP, as I had already been leaning towards INTP, but then there was a lot of confusion about the role of emotion in T's (especially NT's and/or TP's), and how tertiary extraverted Thinking manifests. Then, you had claims of ENP's as "introverted extraverts", and extraverted iNtuition did seem possibly strongest (dominant). So it seemed the tendency was to push XNXP's into an ENFP bracket.

I too came out as ENFP on some tests (and occasionally INFP, but I had to really think about whether I preferred logic or values in decision making, and eventually, it was like "DUH! it's clearly logic!" Everyone has emotions; especially under stress, but that does not determine the actual preference.

I think part of the problem, especially in what you describe, might lie in the Interaction Styles, where ENP is Sanguine (the extrovert who both initiates and wants social interaction), and INP is traditionally Phlegmatic (who can take intraction or leave it) or a fifth temperament called Supine (an introvert who does not initiate interaction well, but wants it a lot, and thus can be seen as an "introverted extrovert").

I knew even before knowing about type that I was this fifth temperament, and it partly explained the whole I/E and T/F ambiguity. (You can see more about that temperament in the links in my signature).

So that sounds like you as well ("So I'm recharged by social interaction. But I'm still not running around and easily talking to strangers- I'm terrified of being judged by people..." etc), and you could well be INTP, or perhaps fall on the ENTP side.

Most INTP profiles would be based on a social Phlegmatic, so a Supine might have trouble fitting. Not only do they have more of a need for people, it often comes across in a more emotional or sensitive way (fear of rejection, etc), which sounds totally counter to typical INTP stereotypes. But really, it would be compatible with the type's inferior Feeling. ENTP profiles also usually emphasize the NT aspects, and might not sound F enough, but they have Feeling in the tertiary position.

Also, "being afraid of making mistakes" sounds a bit more like a T perspective.

 

[Stanton Moore]

There is a chance that you are an individual, and that determining your type really isn't important. Just a thought for you to explore.

 

[Lokispother]

pseudoku- That sounds like me. I just don't think I have the silly, disney character quality that ENFPs are supposed to have. I'm much more of a douchebag than Ariel or Peter Pan

Eric B- The more I think about it I'm leaning towards T. I think I pay more attention to what I see as logical or rational when making decisions than emotions. But who knows, I could be convincing myself of that again because I don't want to be a bumbling ENFP!

The E vs I stuff and the new temperament is interesting to me, I had only ever heard of the 4 so supine is new to me. Thanks for the information!

There is a chance that you are an individual, and that determining your type really isn't important. Just a thought for you to explore.

O RLY?

 

[skylights]

yeah, there can be significant variation between people of the same type... an ENFP who is very strongly E and F is going to be different from someone who is weakly F and strongly N. and a strong P versus weak P might be even more different. and if you've developed your opposite sides well, you could be a T who still handles people well (ENTPs often do) or an INTP who has a good eye for detail.

-

i think one trick can be to look at your most basic motivations. think of a major decision you had to make... something like determining where you wanted to go to college, etc. are you more likely to base your decision on numbers, ideal location, good price, reputation, etc., (T) or overall atmosphere, aesthetic appeal, values orientation, etc (F)? of course any person will include both of these set of variables, but which one set is more fundamentally necessary? NTPs in general are more interested in mechanical systems while NFPs are interested in people systems.

also one very interesting difference lies in argument. NTP is generally more "blunt" and confrontational on a daily basis, while NFP will generally be more soft and diplomatic until you've "crossed a line", at which point they will confront without hesitation (often seen as "explosive", especially when immature) to get their point across. and they will both argue for the sake of their ideas, but NTP is generally more interested in proving their idea is correct, while NFP is more interested in making you concede that their idea has value.

also, if you want to get into theory stuff (assuming you don't already know this), this site is great: The 4-Letter Type Code. if you understand the jungian functions that apply to each type, the differences between types become more clear; ENFP is NeFi; ENTP NeTi; INFP FiNe. though i doubt you are INFP if you are also considering ENTP.

i kind of get an ENTP sense out of you, but could be totally off.

There is a chance that you are an individual, and that determining your type really isn't important. Just a thought for you to explore.

i think this is true for everyone, but i also think it's worth figuring out a best-fit type and seeing if it can provide you with any helpful ideas... type alone can't define a person for sure, but it can be a useful tool to have in one's metaphorical toolbox - and the better you understand it, the more well-honed a tool it is. though a different personality paradigm entirely might suit a specific person better individually. i'm not big on the enneagram, but i know people for whom it's very significant.

and lokispother, no worries, especially ENxP (i do suspect you are ENxP) has a tendency to change with the world around us. it's a Ne - extraverted iNtuition - thing. we tend to be all over the place (seriously i switched college majors from lit -> bio -> digital art -> psych), but there are common threads of consistency in everyone's lives - we might have to work a little harder to find them than some people, but they're there, both in thought and behavior.

-

edit: "bumbling ENFP" !! :steam:

hah i dunno what kinda ENFPs you know, but i don't feel like "bumbling" is particularly accurate, lol. superficially ditzy would be accurate though for females, though. males... ENFP males seem more the charmers and players, i think.

 

[Lokispother]

edit: "bumbling ENFP" !! :steam:

hah i dunno what kinda ENFPs you know, but i don't feel like "bumbling" is particularly accurate, lol. superficially ditzy would be accurate though for females, though. males... ENFP males seem more the charmers and players, i think.

No offense intended! For a while I was pretty sure I was ENFP so I like the type! I just don't want to think of myself as a Spongebob Squarepants type I preferred the... Clementine in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind kind of ENFP.

But anyway- I'm pretty sure I'm not an I now. I definitely get the Ne thing and really see it in myself.

Now if only I could get down the T and F thing.

I wanted to go to college in New York City which was extremely impractical but I was set on it until the very end when I had to accept that I had to pick a more affordable option.

Also, I think the ENFP style of arguments and diplomacy until a line is crossed really fits me. I'm generally cautious about being blunt unless I know there won't be poor consequences from being honest.

But then aren't I thinking about all of that again?

*sigh* I'm sure I'll decide eventually. Again, no harm meant about the bumbling ENFP thing, I could be one myself, who knows!

 

[skylights]

No offense intended! For a while I was pretty sure I was ENFP so I like the type! I just don't want to think of myself as a Spongebob Squarepants type I preferred the... Clementine in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind kind of ENFP.

But anyway- I'm pretty sure I'm not an I now. I definitely get the Ne thing and really see it in myself.

Now if only I could get down the T and F thing.

I wanted to go to college in New York City which was extremely impractical but I was set on it until the very end when I had to accept that I had to pick a more affordable option.

Also, I think the ENFP style of arguments and diplomacy until a line is crossed really fits me. I'm generally cautious about being blunt unless I know there won't be poor consequences from being honest.

But then aren't I thinking about all of that again?

*sigh* I'm sure I'll decide eventually. Again, no harm meant about the bumbling ENFP thing, I could be one myself, who knows!

lol it's okay! i was kidding anyway i just didn't want you to rule a type out on a stereotype that (at least to me) does not seem particularly accurate. though god, is spongebob and ENFP? yeah i guess he is. hahaha lord.

check that cognitive processes stuff out - the difference between Ti and Fi especially. i think it'll be useful. plus then you'll know what all the shorthand Te/Ni/Fe/Si stuff all over the forums is.