Help typing an attractive guy ;)

[SilkRoad]

I may not be able to provide a great deal of information – I’ve known this guy a few years, but not really really well. It’s more like every time we meet up we have a fascinating conversation – and I find him very attractive, I must say – but it’s not often enough…

-Works very very hard for about ten and a half months out of the year, then goes on holiday for six weeks, usually alone and does something like hiking in the Peruvian Andes, going to a retreat in India or taking the Trans-Siberian Express. With reference to the latter, he said something like “It’s a bit like being in prison – I would probably be good at being in prison…” He does occasionally go on holiday with groups of friends – in fact, I will be going on holiday with him and a couple of mutual friends at the end of this month. He has already jokingly threatened to ditch us for most of the time there

-I haven’t been on the receiving end of tough love from him, but have heard from a mutual friend that he’s more prone to dishing this out than sympathy.

-Takes his commitments extremely seriously. Spends a lot of time looking after his elderly mom, caring for practical matters in his community etc. On the basis of offering practical help he is amazing, I think he really will do anything remotely reasonable for someone he considers a friend. He over-extends himself if anything.

-I think he has an ascetic streak. He lived a crazy life when younger (he’s about 12-15 years older than me) and then turned himself around but I think he is now somewhat into self-denial. He spends so much time doing what he considers important, caring for his responsibilities etc that he leaves very little time for himself, except those solitary trips. I get the impression he thinks self-indulgence is a bit wrong or there simply isn’t enough time. He told me the other day that he wants to start doing a bit more again though, like going to gigs occasionally – he loves music. He has also been doing a bit of music with a friend recently.

-A great person to discuss literature or philosophy with, though he can be a bit dismissive or flip sometimes.

-Almost the only person I know who calls me nicknames. Not in person, but when he texts me, he comes up with some really funny ones, and I like it, I must say…

My guess would be INTJ. But I don’t know if that’s the vibe any of you get from the above description.

 

[Mondo]

This attractive guy must be me,
What other attractive guys are there?

But in all seriousness, he seems like an INTJ from what you've written.

 

[SilkRoad]

This attractive guy must be me,
What other attractive guys are there?

But in all seriousness, he seems like an INTJ from what you've written.

Thanks for the input And points for self-confidence

 

[Red Herring]

If this is any help: I thought INTJ when I read your description and was actually reminded of a specific INTJ I know.

 

[SilkRoad]

If this is any help: I thought INTJ when I read your description and was actually reminded of a specific INTJ I know.

That definitely helps!

 

[Aleksei]

IxTJ. Not sure I have enough info to conclusively diagnose N, but INTJ is most likely.

 

[Chloe]

Pics? I am in favor of V.I.

 

[SilkRoad]

Pics? I am in favor of V.I.

No pics I can upload at the mo, I'm afraid. Do you really find that V.I. works/helps for type? I wouldn't have thought so, except maybe a little bit for ESFPs flinging their beer at the camera and roaring with laughter, that sort of thing.

 

[SilkRoad]

IxTJ. Not sure I have enough info to conclusively diagnose N, but INTJ is most likely.

I'm pretty sure he's N. In fact, the more I think about it I find it unlikely that he is anything other than INTJ. I was kind of wondering about J/P though. And like me, I think he may appear to be more extroverted than he really is.

 

[Aleksei]

I'm pretty sure he's N. In fact, the more I think about it I find it unlikely that he is anything other than INTJ. I was kind of wondering about J/P though. And like me, I think he may appear to be more extroverted than he really is.

He appears ultra-introverted but self-confident (not the same), which is one of the reasons ITJ is most likely. I'll take your word for it that he's an N -- IxTJs are P-dominant (and Ni is the most N-ish of N functions), so the difference is often significant.

INTJ it is, then.

 

[Chloe]

No pics I can upload at the mo, I'm afraid. Do you really find that V.I. works/helps for type? I wouldn't have thought so, except maybe a little bit for ESFPs flinging their beer at the camera and roaring with laughter, that sort of thing.

I was V.I-ed as ESFP (exactly for having coctail in my hands) on Socionics forum, and by Jack Flak as ESFP and ESFJ. So...

no i dont think it works

 

[nozflubber]

y'all think THIS is a typical intj? :

Spends a lot of time looking after his elderly mom, caring for practical matters in his community etc. On the basis of offering practical help he is amazing, I think he really will do anything remotely reasonable for someone he considers a friend.

I say ENTJ/ESTJ, maybe ESFJ.

 

[FDG]

ESTJ rather obvious typing

clearly an EJ type, thinking

the only possible doubt could be on N/S, but his extremely responsible streak sounds more ESTJ than ENTJ

 

[Valiant]

I'd say ISTJ or ESTJ. Obvious SJ, anyway.

 

[JustHer]

I thought INTJ just a split second before I read it in your OP.


I find it super odd that people are saying E, cause the thought of spending 6 weeks alone hiking in the mountains makes me want to scream in terror and rip out my hair.

 

[FDG]

I thought INTJ just a split second before I read it in your OP.


I find it super odd that people are saying E, cause the thought of spending 6 weeks alone hiking in the mountains makes me want to scream in terror and rip out my hair.

I'd personally love it...and I'm a strong extravert. But I love mountains and hiking, so I wouldn't mind being alone. Moreover, usually you meet a lot of people during this type of trip.

 

[Speed Gavroche]

INTJ

 

[SilkRoad]

He just seems really N to me...but who knows, that could be because I've spent way too much time over the last while crushing on a definite SP (definitely ExSP, probably ESFP) and have at long last realised what a waste of time it has been... (though to be fair, not specifically because he's an SP, just because he's really immature and hasn't sorted himself out.)

I know a definite INTP who's also extremely responsible in a similar way to this guy, so I don't think that would necessarily indicate for sure that he's ISTJ or ESTJ. I'm open to the possibility, though.

 

[SilkRoad]

Well I just spent ten days on holiday with this guy and a couple of our friends and have more to flesh out the picture. I am pretty well certain he's an N but besides that...? Sadly, nothing actually happened but we did get along like a house on fire.

-He seems very genuinely to have a tough exterior but a romantic soul. (I mean "genuinely" as opposed to "trying to look that way to attract women.") The romantic soul part comes from the type of literature/art he is into, and the fact that he told me about having his heart broken several years ago and the fact that only now was he allowing himself to think again about certain things pertaining to that relationship because before that it was too painful... In regards to another relationship, he said "there was nothing much in it really" (mainly long distance, they didn't know each other that well etc) "but it took me a while to get over it because I'd obviously built up and invested some dreams in it" ...oh, I knew exactly what he meant.

He also said something interesting, we both live in London and while I am still smitten with London he is not...well, he did grow up here so it's a bit different. But he said "I get so tired of how people are in London, so rude, uncaring etc, I find it really painful." I thought "painful" was very interesting. A lot of people would just say they found it annoying, obnoxious etc etc. But he is also a bit hard-headed and a bit tactless and has a short temper (which he warned me about himself before the holiday.) He also managed to annoy one of our friends (they are good friends but the personality conflicts) and said to me in connection with that "please tell me if I'm in danger of ruining this holiday" (which I thought was pretty funny.)

-It seems that he is both serious and responsible, but also bohemian and rock 'n' roll...well, maybe he is mainly that way on holiday...but we certainly consumed more drinks and had more laughs than the other two we were with... And he was so mischievous sometimes it really surprised me... I don't think the ascetic streak/self-denial thing that I thought originally particularly applies. It's more that he doesn't often allow himself the time because he has too many other more important priorities.

-He also said that he feels he doesn't have many friends because he just can't be bothered to put the investment in. (He had also said "I think I'm too self-absorbed to be a relationship".) That did sound INTJ, I thought. My mom is one and it reminded me a bit of her.

I'm totally smitten, by the way, and wondering what my next move should be.

EDIT: He took an awful lot of drugs and did an awful lot of crazy things when younger...but he said it was mostly about trying to find the meaning of life...I actually believe him...

 

[Halla74]

-He also said that he feels he doesn't have many friends because he just can't be bothered to put the investment in. (He had also said "I think I'm too self-absorbed to be a relationship".) That did sound INTJ, I thought. My mom is one and it reminded me a bit of her.

I don't like the bolded part. Keep an eye out for further evidence to substantiate or refute that statement. Falling in love with an emotionally unavailable person is a sure recipe for heartbreak. Just sayin.

I'm totally smitten, by the way, and wondering what my next move should be.

(1) Have him take an online MBTI test and stop guessing his type. His MBTI type doesn't matter half as much as getting him to sit down in front of a computer.

Thomson-Maidenbaum Personality Inventory

(2) When he's clicked the submit button and tells you his type, walk up to him and say "ABCD's are supposed to be good kissers..." and plant one on him.

(3) If good kisser = keep after him.
If bad kisser = keep moving, find a new guy.